Nightmares

Note: I don't own Gorgeous Carat-- it belongs to You Higuri.

Warnings: Sexual themes, mild language.

Although he tried to hide it, Florian often had nightmares, and they troubled him greatly. He could never completely remember them in their entirety, but still, they were substance enough to terrify him. He would wake up, panicked, in the middle of the night, the pungent scent of opium pervading his nostrils, the feeling of rough hands touching him- lingering on his skin- and that eye. That piercing blue eye would stay in his mind for days after a dream.

It wasn't that he was still afraid of Azura, exactly. It had been over three years since he had last seen his captor, and Ray had taken precautions to make sure that he was safe. Still, Florian couldn't help the icy fear he felt whenever he had one of those dreams.

This evening's dream had been particularly vivid- Azura had actually spoken in his dream, something he never did. But it was enough to rattle Florian to the core. "Mine," Dream-Azura had said before grabbing Florian by the waist and- Florian cut himself off there. He didn't want to remember it in detail. He knew sleep was futile- he was never able to go back to bed after dreaming of Azura. Quietly, he stepping into the hall of Ray'smansion and padded silently to the kitchen. Water sounded delicious to him at the moment (his mouth was terribly dry).

"What are you doing out of bed?" A voice behind him startled him. Florian jumped and turned around sharply, coming face-to-face with Ray.

"I... couldn't sleep," he replied.

"Is that it? Just insomnia? Or did you dream of Azura again? You know I don't want you to dream of that bastard any longer," Ray said sharply. Florian bowed his head.

"Yes," he whispered.

"Yes what?" Ray asked. "Yes you dreamed of Azura? Or yes you understand that I don't want you to dream of him?" After a slight pause, Florian answered him.

"I dreamed of Azura," he whispered.

"I thought you got those dreams under control!" Ray barked. "You know, it irritates me to think that you would dream of someone other than me!" But then, he noticed that Florian was shaking violently, and he stopped his anger. "All right. Go sit down. I'll wake Laila and get her to get some medicine or some soup for you. I don't want you getting sick- it will only add to your debt!"

"That's not necessary," Florian polietly declined, lowering his gaxe. Ray regarded him cooly for a moment, then said-

"At least get a damned blanket." Florian obliged, shuffling off and returning moments later, wrapped in a fuzzy beige blanket.

"I'd like some water..." Florian's voice trailed off, and Ray obliged, fetching him a glass of clear water. Florian drank it greatfully. "Thanks."

"You need to stop thinking about Azura. Your health willl suffer, and you should understand that you are mine. Not his. Mine," Ray intoned. Florian panicked. That damn word. Mine. Azura. Ray. No matter who said it, they were interchangeable. Visibly upset, he sloshed water down his front as he attempted to put some distance between himself and Ray, who looked slightly alarmed.

"I know that Azura occupies your thoughts. You toss and turn in your bed, do you not? And yet you sit here, and still react when I say his name," he stated. "What, you cannot tolerate the sound of his name?"

"Not...that," Florian muttered, beginning to calm down. "Not his name." Ray was beginning to lose patience.

"What, then?"

"That word... mine. He called me... his... in my dream." Florian's language was fractured, fragmented. "He called... me... his. That was... all he said. He never... speaks." Ray nodded.

"It was a dream, Florian! If you let him live rent-free in your head, then you only suffer! You must forget about Azura!"

"Do you think that it is easy to forget what he did to me?" Florian burst out. "It haunts me! I keep thinking of- the opium! Of the other, unspeakable things he did!" Ray looked sharply at him.

"You know he did the same things to many others, myself included," he replied. Florian glared.

"That only makes it so much worse!" he shouted. "Face it, you do not understand anything!"

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't," Ray hissed. "But the fact remains that I survived the same things you did, Florian."

"I know..." Florian conceded sadly, and it hurt Ray to see him dejected like that, but he'd be damned if he would ever admit it. But he felt like he had to do something, so he settled for scooting closer to Florian and cupping his chin. Florian gasped in surprise, and Ray smiled. Bending down, he gave Florian a small peck on the lips.

"I know you know you," Ray replied, then scowled. "Damn, that was a mouthful to say."

"Must you be so crude?" Florian said futilely. Ray just smirked.

"If it will get you to pay attention," he replied. Florian glanced shyly at the younger man, who kept on smirking. "Do you feel any calmer now?"

"Surprisingly, I do," Florian said dryly. "Maybe I'll go back to sleep after all."

End

Author's Comments

This took forever to get posted, I think I wrote the first version of this back in April, and I hated it. I wrote the second version, and hated it more. I wrote the third version, and hated it.. Finally, I wrote the fourth version and still think it could be better, but what the hell, I posted it.

I worked my ass off to try to keep them in character, but I'm not sure how great a job I did. Ray especially- I had the worst time writing his character.

-GoesKaboom