Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
Harry: After reading the writings of J.K. Rowling, I have come to the conclusion that her books are unrealistic and irrelevant.
Hermoine: You're just mad she made you all angsty.
Harry: Am not!
Hermoine: Are to!
Harry: Well, come on! She did make me seem borderline suicidal.
Ron: Oh yeah, because you've never acted like THAT before.
Harry: cries STOP INSULTING ME!
Hermoine: At least you didn't get stuck with this idiot over here. indicates Ron
Ron: I RESENT THAT!
Harry: Hey, I ended up with Ginny! I mean, where the hell did that come from? She's such a Mary-Sue!
Ginny: appears randomly Youknowyouloveme!
Harry: See? She's slurring her words together. Mad, I tell you.
Ginny: BUT WE MADE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN TOGETHER!
Harry: Ugh, don't remind me. shudders
Ginny walks away dejected
Hermoine: Stop acting so childish. Though, that is what you're best at.
Harry: sticks his tongue out at her Nu-uh! It's Quiddich!
Ron: And modest too.
Harry: Stay out of this, Ginger.
Ron: bawls IT'S GENETIC!
Hermoine: And with all these people dying in "The War"? Totally exaggerated!
Harry: Absolutely! Sirius didn't die! He's right here!
silence
Hermoine: Uh…
Harry: What?
Ron: Harry…
Harry: WHAT?!
Hermoine: Sirius did die.
Harry: What!
Hermoine: Yeah.
Harry: NOOOO!
Ron: Bloody hell, not again…
Harry: NOOOO! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT!
Sirius: appears BELIEVE IT!
Harry: See! I told you! HE'S ALIVE!
Sirius: Actually, I'm not. The author just wrote me in.
Harry: What!
Author: Yeah, I did. But, just for the sake of the "plot", let's pretend he's simply a side effect of that medication you've been taking for your manic depression.
Harry: I AM NOT DEPRESSED!
Author: J.K says you are.
Harry: See! It all comes back to that accursed woman's books.
Sirius: It always does.
Author: Hush! You're not allowed to have opinions!
Sirius: Sorry disappears in a cloud of smoke
Ron: Wait…there's a plot?
Author: Slow, aren't you?
Hermoine: Your idiocy is amazing, Ronald.
Ron: You're welcome.
Author: Anyways, Harry, you're not the only person J.K. Rowling has done injustice to. For instance, what about Sirius' death? He was killed by a bloody curtain!
Harry: A sadder sight I never saw.
Remus: Well said.
Author: turns to Remus And what about Remus here? They don't even mention how he died.
Remus: Very true.
Author: on a roll And Wormatil's life debt? How anticlimactic!
Harry: Actually, the entire last book was rather anticlimactic. Voldemort and I don't even have a proper duel.
Hermoine: Well, at least all the ends were tied up neat and the readers weren't left wondering.
Author: You do make a point.
Harry: But what was with Ron's amazing maturity within the span of fifty pages?
Ron: tearfully But, I had to mature, else the trials of war would have consumed me.
Author: Oh, shut up.
Ron: But it's true!
Author: Just shut up.
Ron: B-
Author: NOW.
Ron: sulks
Author: turns to Harry and Hermoine There is a simple explanation. If Ron hadn't matured, then Hermoine probably wouldn't have wanted to date him.
Hermoine: Of course not.
Ron: Why?
Hermoine: Because you were an idiotic, incompetent git.
Ron: WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!
Hermoine: We don't hate you, per say…
Harry: We just think you're a git.
Ron: huddles in a corner and cries
Author: My point is, Harry, that you actually weren't the worst off. Just look at Snape.
Harry: winces Yeah, his life pretty much sucked…Still was a git, though.
Remus: Harry! That's not very nice.
Author: Oh, I forgot to write you out, didn't I?
Remus: Yeah.
Author: Ok. Bye-bye.
Remus: Bye. disappears
Author: So…what did we learn today, class?
Harry, Ron, and Hermoine: in a monotone That we should not make fun of the books of people who have millions of dollars more than we do.
Author: My work here is done.
Harry: I'M STILL NOT DEPRESSED!
Ron: still sobbing in the corner
Hermoine: Bloody lunatics, the lot of 'em.
Reveiw, please! :)
