Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter


Harry: After reading the writings of J.K. Rowling, I have come to the conclusion that her books are unrealistic and irrelevant.

Hermoine: You're just mad she made you all angsty.

Harry: Am not!

Hermoine: Are to!

Harry: Well, come on! She did make me seem borderline suicidal.

Ron: Oh yeah, because you've never acted like THAT before.

Harry: cries STOP INSULTING ME!

Hermoine: At least you didn't get stuck with this idiot over here. indicates Ron

Ron: I RESENT THAT!

Harry: Hey, I ended up with Ginny! I mean, where the hell did that come from? She's such a Mary-Sue!

Ginny: appears randomly Youknowyouloveme!

Harry: See? She's slurring her words together. Mad, I tell you.

Ginny: BUT WE MADE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN TOGETHER!

Harry: Ugh, don't remind me. shudders

Ginny walks away dejected

Hermoine: Stop acting so childish. Though, that is what you're best at.

Harry: sticks his tongue out at her Nu-uh! It's Quiddich!

Ron: And modest too.

Harry: Stay out of this, Ginger.

Ron: bawls IT'S GENETIC!

Hermoine: And with all these people dying in "The War"? Totally exaggerated!

Harry: Absolutely! Sirius didn't die! He's right here!

silence

Hermoine: Uh…

Harry: What?

Ron: Harry…

Harry: WHAT?!

Hermoine: Sirius did die.

Harry: What!

Hermoine: Yeah.

Harry: NOOOO!

Ron: Bloody hell, not again…

Harry: NOOOO! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT!

Sirius: appears BELIEVE IT!

Harry: See! I told you! HE'S ALIVE!

Sirius: Actually, I'm not. The author just wrote me in.

Harry: What!

Author: Yeah, I did. But, just for the sake of the "plot", let's pretend he's simply a side effect of that medication you've been taking for your manic depression.

Harry: I AM NOT DEPRESSED!

Author: J.K says you are.

Harry: See! It all comes back to that accursed woman's books.

Sirius: It always does.

Author: Hush! You're not allowed to have opinions!

Sirius: Sorry disappears in a cloud of smoke

Ron: Wait…there's a plot?

Author: Slow, aren't you?

Hermoine: Your idiocy is amazing, Ronald.

Ron: You're welcome.

Author: Anyways, Harry, you're not the only person J.K. Rowling has done injustice to. For instance, what about Sirius' death? He was killed by a bloody curtain!

Harry: A sadder sight I never saw.

Remus: Well said.

Author: turns to Remus And what about Remus here? They don't even mention how he died.

Remus: Very true.

Author: on a roll And Wormatil's life debt? How anticlimactic!

Harry: Actually, the entire last book was rather anticlimactic. Voldemort and I don't even have a proper duel.

Hermoine: Well, at least all the ends were tied up neat and the readers weren't left wondering.

Author: You do make a point.

Harry: But what was with Ron's amazing maturity within the span of fifty pages?

Ron: tearfully But, I had to mature, else the trials of war would have consumed me.

Author: Oh, shut up.

Ron: But it's true!

Author: Just shut up.

Ron: B-

Author: NOW.

Ron: sulks

Author: turns to Harry and Hermoine There is a simple explanation. If Ron hadn't matured, then Hermoine probably wouldn't have wanted to date him.

Hermoine: Of course not.

Ron: Why?

Hermoine: Because you were an idiotic, incompetent git.

Ron: WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!

Hermoine: We don't hate you, per say…

Harry: We just think you're a git.

Ron: huddles in a corner and cries

Author: My point is, Harry, that you actually weren't the worst off. Just look at Snape.

Harry: winces Yeah, his life pretty much sucked…Still was a git, though.

Remus: Harry! That's not very nice.

Author: Oh, I forgot to write you out, didn't I?

Remus: Yeah.

Author: Ok. Bye-bye.

Remus: Bye. disappears

Author: So…what did we learn today, class?

Harry, Ron, and Hermoine: in a monotone That we should not make fun of the books of people who have millions of dollars more than we do.

Author: My work here is done.

Harry: I'M STILL NOT DEPRESSED!

Ron: still sobbing in the corner

Hermoine: Bloody lunatics, the lot of 'em.

Reveiw, please! :)