Narutaki Kicks Some Ass!

Narutaki, the premiere detective of Steam City, was driving his Akira-esque motorcycle down the dirty streets of his city...the city of crime and darkness...and steam! He was searching for trouble, any villian or thief to beat the crap out of. He wasn't doing too well.

"Sonofabitch! Where have all the evil-doers gone?!" He pondered. It was around midnight, waaay past his bedtime. Where could he find a crime in progress?? A candy store?? A bank?? Then it struck Narutaki like a ton of feathers.

"Of course! Since I'm not home, some cat-burgler is bound to be stealing something from my mansion! Narutaki, your brilliance has once again outshined the sun!" He patted himself on the back. Not a good idea. The motorcycle spun out of control and flew wildy into some bushes. Luckily, Narutaki was able to jump off in time, his helmet and leather jacket protecting him. He removed his helmet and breathed a sigh of relief.

"At least no one was hurt!" Just then, somebody, dressed in black from head to toe, crawled out of the same bush.

"Ohhhh, shit." Narutaki rushed over to help the person to his feet.

"Are you okay?"

The man in black shook his head. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine..."

Then, without warning, the man punched Narutaki in the nose and ran away with his wallet.

"Thief!!" Narutaki cried, and struggled to right his motorcycle. "Good, it still works!"

Narutaki hopped on, and started to pursue the thief with his motorcycle. While running, the thief turned his head to see the oncoming Narutaki.

"Shit!" He tried to speed up, but Narutaki's bike was too damn quick.

"Time to die, shiteater!" Narutaki whipped out a barbed chain, and began to lash the thief's back.

"AHHH!! OH, GOD, THAT HURTS!!!" Now Narutaki was going just fast enough to keep on lashing the thief.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, MOTHERFUCKER!!" The time for games was over. Narutaki pulled his bike in front of the thief, who collapsed. Narutaki hopped off, ran to the thief, and began kicking him in the ribs. Blood was pouring heavily out of the thief's mouth.

"*Hack*! Here! Take your damn wallet back!" The thief pulled out Narutaki's wallet with his last ounce of strength. Narutaki stepped on the hand, braking it in several places. The thief screamed in agony.

"SHUT UP!! SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU WHINY BITCH!!!" Narutaki kicked him some more, took his wallet, and spat on the thief as he got back on his motorcycle and revved it up. The thief managed to speak.

"W-who are you, man?!"

After several seconds, Narutaki got off of his bike and leaned down in the thief's face.

"I'M THE MOTHERFUCKIN' STEAM DETECTIVES!! KING KONG AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' ON ME!!!!"