Everything I've wanted
The feeling of being in my dad's arms is wonderful. Like Booth said: 'take the brain and put it in nuteral, take your heart and put it in overdrive!' I just put my heart in overdrive. I'm someone's daughter again. My dad is a free man thanks to me. I can't hold my dad tight enough right now. That is until I open my eyes and see Booth standing a few feet away from me. Looking at me. And then I realise it. I made him lie to a jury. A judge. The system he believes in. I made him do that. I feel awful suddenly. Sick to my stomach, awful.
'Come on, honey', my dad says as he pulls back, 'let's go celebrate.' He kisses my cheek and starts to walk down the stairs. Away from the courthouse. Everybody else follows. Except for me and Booth. He doesn't look at me. He watches my father, brother and our friends walking away, laughing.
'Booth?' I ask soflty as i walk closer to him. He turns to me and looks me in the eye.
'Yeah, Bones?'
'Are you mad at me?' He moves to closer to me. He touches my arm before he answers.
'No, Temperance. I'm not mad. I just need some time, okay?' He says softly. I nod slowly. I dissapointed him. Made him do something he doesn't believe in.
'Time and space?' I see him smile a little. Just like the last time I asked him.
'Just a little space. But I do need time', he answers in a whisper. I gasp a little.
'Go celebrate, Bones. You finally have your family back. Be happy. Be with them', he gives me one last squeeze before he walks away from the courthouse. And I let him. He said it himself. He needs a little space. And time.
I sigh and walk towards my family. As soon as I catch up with my dad he wraps his arm around me.
'You okay, honey?' He asks. I smile at him.
'Yeah, just been a long few days', i answer. He kisses my cheek and we walk towards the diner. Along the way the awful feeling grows stronger. I keep thinking about the look in his eyes. I hurt Booth today. Something I never thought I'd do. I try to shake it off for a while. Only being half succesfull.
Despite the bad feeling i have, I enjoy being around my dad. It's good to see him this happy. Free. I sit at the counter looking over at Angela and dad. Angela laughs at something he says. Everybody's laughing and having a good time but me. Angela catches my eye and walk towards me.
'What's wrong, sweetie?' She asks gently.
'Booth', i answer. She nods and places her hand over my arm. 'I hurt him, Ange. Made him go against the system he believes in so much. I made him do that.'
'He chose to do it, sweetie. You know he'd do anything for you, right?'
'He'd kill for me, he'd die for me.' I put down my drink and look at her.
'What?' Angela asks confused.
'He said that once. After a case.' I hang my head.
'Sweetie...'
'I'm so ashamed, Ange. You should've seen the look in his eyes. He will never forgive me', my eyes start to water. And takes my hand and leads me outside.
'We're just going to take a walk', she says as Cam notices. We walk towards the park just a block away from the diner. I'm so lost in thought, if Angela hadn't been by my side I would have been hit by a car several times. She links her arm through mine and doesn't let go until we reach a bench in the park. We sit and look over the lake.
'Talk to me', she says softly.
'What if he won't forgive me? I feel awful', I sigh sadly.
'He will forgive you. He probably isn't even mad at you.'
'Yes he is! He said he isn't but i know he is! What else is he feeling? Relieved? Happy? Thanks to me he went against the system. I asked that of him without even realising what it would mean to him', I say with a shaky voice.
'You asked him to do something. He made the decision to do it, okay. You can't blame yourself, sweetie. Your dad is a free man. You finally have your family back. You should be happy. Booth isn't mad at you. He's just confused. Surprised maybe. Today, everybody got to see just how big your heart can be. It took everyone by surprise. We knew you had it in you but still... Just give him some time, okay?'
'Booth is family, too', i whisper as a tear rolls down my cheek. Angela wraps her arm around me and pulls me closer.
'Go talk to him', she says.
'He said he needs a little space.'
'Just go. Go now, sweetie. You'll drive yourself crazy if you don't', I sit up and look at her. As always, she's right. I wipe my tears away and smile.
'Thanks, Ange', I say and give her a quick hug.
'Anytime. Now go', she urges with a smile. I get up and start to run. Run towards the road to stop a cab. I'm in luck and within a minute a cab stops infront of me. I give the man the address and he starts to drive. The entire drive i look out the window. Trying to think of what to say to him. I just want to talk to him. See him. Without him my family isn't complete.
The drive seem to last longer than usual but finally i arrive at Booth's appartment. His car is in the parking lot so he probably is at home. I take the stairs to the third floor and quickly walk to his appartment. When I want to knock I start to hesitate. What if he doesn't want to see me? Eventually the desire to see him outwins my doubts. I knock a few times and wait. Just as I'm about to knock again he opens the door. He's wearing his grey sweats and a black FBI t-shirt. It makes him look younger somehow. He smiles a little when he looks me in the eye.
'Come on in, Bones', he says and opens the door further. I don't say anything and justwalk past him. I drop my coat on the first chair i see and turn around to face him.
'I'm sorry', i whisper. I hear him sigh before he comes closer to me.
'You did what you had to do to get you family back. Don't be sorry, Bones', he says and grabs my hand. The gesture brings tears to my eyes.
'I hurt you', i say. I feel him squeeze my hand softly.
'You didn't, okay. It's just...', i see him hesitate for a moment before he continues, 'It's just... sometimes I forget just how big your heart can be. Out of everything I expected from your dad's trial. You making yourself look suspicious to create reasonable doubt is the last thing I expected today. And I helped you. I could've been the one to send you to prison instead of your dad. I'm not mad at you, you didn't hurt me. I hurt me. I hurt myself by saying those things about you.' A few tears fall from my eyes as I listen to him.
'I made you do those things.' He lifts my chin with his finger. Just like the time my dad and Russ drove away from me a year ago.
'I chose to do those things. I chose to do it becaus I care about you. Stop blaming yourself', his words are barely above a whisper. Just like our entire conversation. But these words have something more behind them. Something I can't identify. But these are the words that cause me to break into tears. The only sound in the appartment are my soft sniffles. Suddenly Booth lets go of my hand and wraps his arms around me. I hold onto him tightly as the tears that I've been holding in for the last few days, break free.
'Ssh, I gotcha, Bones. We're okay. I promise', he whispers. I nod against his chest and take a deep breath. Anything to calm myself down a little. After a few deep breaths, I look up at him. He smiles and wipes my tears away.
'You okay?' He asks.
'Better', i answer softly, 'being with you makes everything better.'
'Same here, Bones. Want a drink?'
'Yes, please', i sigh. He walks towards the fridge while I sit down on the couch. Booth comes back with two beers. He hands me one before he sits down.
'How was the celebration with you dad?' He asks.
'I couldn't enjoy myself. Then I walked out', I admit softly. He looks confused.
'Why? You finally have the family you longed for, for years.'
'You weren't there', I explain. He still looks confused. I put my beer on the table before I answer. 'My family isn't complete without you. All afternoon I've been thinking about you. About the look in your eyes when you were on the stand. I can't be happy knowing you're upset.' When I finish talking, he smiles.
'You're my family, too', he says smiling. We have on of our moments. One where we're both smiling and looking deep into each others eyes. Usually I break contact or someone interrupts us. But this time... this time there are no interruptions and I wouldn't dare to look away.
'Bones?' He says bearly above a whisper.
'Yeah?'
'Come here.' I do as I'm told. Slowly I move closer to him on the couch. And then I know. I know he's going to kiss me. I know we're finally crossing the line. I'm so close to him right now that I'm almost on his lap. He cups my cheek with his hand and we drown in each others eyes before he slowy, really slowly, lowers his head towards mine. He stops right in front of my face, never breaking eye contact. I close the last centimeter and our lips are finally touching. First just touching, then he nibbles at my lower lip and I suck on his upper lip. When his tongue touches my lips, I open my mouth and touch his tongue with mine. Ever so slowly we discover each others mouths. The kiss is slow, lazy and, if the nerves hadn't had me so out of breath, could go on for hours. We only pull back when we both have to breath. We take a minute to regain our breathing before we look into each others eyes. He gently pushes a strand of hair behind my ear and grins at me.
'Finally', he whispers.
'Finally', I confirm. He gives me a quick kiss before he holds me close. My head on his chest, his arms around me.
'Now I have everything I wanted for so long', I say. He drops a kiss on my hair as a confirmation he feels the same way. I stay with Booth for the rest of the evening. We eat, we laugh, we talk, we kiss. Eventually I go home. Booth brings me and kisses me goodnight on my doorstep. When I close my door and lock it, I'm alone with my thoughts. But only one thing comes to mind. Finally everything fell into place and I've never been happier.
I thought the episode wasn't complete without B&B talking to each other about what happened. And the kiss... well that's something I threw in there because I felt it was right. For the people who read this story: THANK YOU! Please let me know what you think and what I can do differently in my next stories. Good? Bad? Awful? Sweet? Press the button below! Love from Holland;)
