Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything associated with it. J.K. Rowling does, as she is the completely brilliant author who created the books.
Following the Potions Master
Chapter 1 – Arrogant Bastards and Month-Long Detentions
Three months into the term, Hermione Granger was in the school kitchens with Ginny Weasley, drinking a mug of hot tea – courtesy of Dobby the house elf – and, quite happily, abusing the most hated of all professors at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
"Can you believe that arrogant little prick?"
Ginny shook her head, amazed, not to mention proud, of her book-happy friend. Who would have thought that Hermione Granger, the star student of all her professors (except Snape, of course), would ever say such things about a professor? It was amazing…she had become a normal teenage witch.
"Who the bloody hell does he think he is?"
"The nerve of some people."
"Stuff it, Ginny…poncy bastard."
"Who, me?"
"No, you idiot, Snape."
"Oh."
"What in the seven layers of hell is his problem? I mean, all I did was say that Neville wouldn't melt half as many cauldrons as he does if Snape would just stop breathing down his neck all the bloody time and making him nervous as hell. Plus, there's the tiny little problem of Snape always yelling at Neville and never even giving him a chance to do anything right. And what does the slimy bastard do? He gives me a month's worth of detentions!"
Ginny grimaced, knowing that Hermione would never forgive Snape for putting such a mark on her record. The thing about Hermione was that she was nice. She liked to help people. But if you pissed her off, then you had better run like hell, because she would turn into something that would make a blast-ended skrewt look like a fluffy little teddy bear.
"You didn't curse him, did you?"
"No, but he's lucky I didn't hex his balls off."
Ginny gave her an odd look, "Assuming he has balls, that is."
"That's disgusting, Ginny."
"You were the one who brought it up."
"Shut it, Gin." There was silence for a few seconds, and then Hermione heard a soft sound, almost like quiet puffs of air. She looked up and saw Ginny shaking with barely-restrained laughter.
"Should I even bother asking?"
It took Ginny a few moments to collect herself. Finally, tears streaming down her face from laughing so hard, she said, "You brought it up!"
"Brought what up?" Hermione asked, confused. "Gin, I thought we covered this, already."
Giving her friend a pitying look, Ginny explained, "Snape's, er – boys were mentioned, and I said that you brought it up."
"You're sick, you know that?"
Ginny only waggled her eyebrows.
"For Merlin's sake, Ginny. Get your mind out of the gutter."
"You're the one who brought it up."
"Say that one more time and I'll hex your sorry arse into the ground." Hermione glared at the redhead, daring her to argue. When no argument came, she sighed and turned back to her tea which, miraculously, had not been thrown across the room in her latest session of Snape-bashing.
"You know, I really wish I could have been in potions with you today."
"No you don't, Ginny."
"Why not?"
"Because it wasn't until after class that everything happened."
"I thought you told him off during class?"
"I did, but I told him off after class, too."
Ginny groaned, "Hermione, what were you thinking?"
"I'm not sure, Gin," Hermione replied, exasperated. "I was pissed off, and all I could think about was telling Snape what an absolute bastard he is."
xx flashback xx
"THAT ARROGANT BASTARD!!!"
Several first years nearly jumped out of their skins at the sound of the Head Girl storming away from the entrance leading down to the dungeons, followed closely by her two best friends.
"Hermione-"
"SHUT UP!"
"Right, then."
Hermione shot Ron a look that plainly said I-am-going-to-murder-you-in-your-sleep-if-you-say-one-more-bloody-word-to-me-you-little-prat-so-shut-the-fuck-up, and then proceeded to let loose a string of curses that would have burned the ears off of Filch himself.
"Hermione, calm down!"
Hermione promptly spun around to glare at the raven-haired youth standing next to her.
"Calm down," Harry repeated, completely unfazed by the look that Hermione was sending his way.
Sighing, Hermione gave her friends a somewhat sheepish look, "Sorry."
There was a long stretch of silence that was broken when Ron finally asked the question that had been bothering both Harry and him since their last class – double potions with the Slytherins – had ended, "So, um…what happened?"
Hermione gave him one of those don't-be-stupid-I-know-you-know-what's-going-on looks, "Stop with the act, Ronald. You know perfectly well what happened." She stood there, hands on her hips, waiting for Ron's reply. He opened his mouth to speak, but Harry cut him off before he could say anything."
"We were there when you told the greasy git off, 'Mione, but we weren't there when he held you back after class. He made us leave, remember?"
"Then why did I see Ron slip a pair of the twins' Extendable Ears out of his pocket before Snape closed the door?"
Ron's face turned a very light shade of pink, "It didn't work. Snape must have warded the door so nobody could listen in."
"I find it amazing that someone with a mental capacity that is as lacking as yours would actually be able to come up with a correct answer to such a simple problem, Mr.Weasley."
To Be Continued
A/n: Well? Whatcha think? gives hopeful look I know it wasn't very long (sorry about that, by the way), but I need the chapter to end here so that the next chapter will work out the way I want it to. Plus, I'm the author, so if I say the chapter's supposed to be this short, then the chapter's supposed to be this short. So there. Anyways, this fic is dedicated to Venomous Guise, who was the person who first dared me to start (and complete) a Snape/Hermione fic.
Also, they say there's this little button at the bottom of the page called a review button. Weird, huh? Tell you what. Why don't you click on it, and we'll find out what it does. C'mon…you know you want to…
