My whole life I've been sort of invisible. No one pays attention to the loser nobodies, will besides the occasional slushy to the face and any other pranks the so called popular kids can think up. Yep, I'm definitely a social outcast; I can't find a single click to fall into. I also can't seem to get a boyfriend but that's a different problem entirely, seeing as know one knows I'm gay and I don't plan on coming out to a school of homophobes anytime soon. But this isn't about me Kurt Hummel no this story is about Puck.
Noah Puckerman is the man, the captain of the football team; he lost it to the homecoming queen and the prom queen at the same time. He not only seems to run his own cougar business, but also has the whole female population drooling over his every move. He has three girlfriends not one or two but three.
First he picks a girl from separate groups to go out with, so they don't talk outside of their group of friends. He then tells them he can't announce the fact he has girlfriend and then pushes for a "secret" relationship. So girlfriend one and girlfriend two don't catch on. He's got it mostly figured out except for a few things like me finding out. So how do I know all this? Will it doesn't take much detective work when the stupid jock picks the same restaurant that I happen to work at for his dates.
Yes, every other Friday I have to play host for the school's biggest man whore. But his brilliant scheme would soon go up into smoke you see as luck would have it all three of his current girlfriends happen to have gym the same period this semester and will when we get into the volleyball unit they like to combine all the classes and divide them up into teams.
So here's how it went down girlfriend one Mercedes was on a team with me and girlfriend two Rachel Berry. Meanwhile we are going against girlfriend three Santana and her buds Britney and Quinn Fabray. Now Rachel is one of those girls who can't seem to get a boyfriend and plus she likes to brag. So sadly for Puck she decided that she needed to pass her dating status to the fourth member of our team Tina.
"Tina guess who's dating Puckerman?" Mercedes "accidently" served the ball at Rachel hitting her in the head. Causing Rachel to turn and glare daggers at her.
"He's mine stay away from him!" Of course you know where this is going, catfight.
"I'm dating Puck!" Rachel states with furry in her eyes. Santana coming over after hearing Puck's name quickly followed by her best buds.
"Wait what you doing to my man!" Santana bursts out while Quinn yells "Pucks mine he'd never go for either of you stop deluding yourself." Apparently I miss counted, sorry folks; Puck is even more stupid than I originally thought. Now the hair is being pulled and fists are flying and of course scream's of he's mine ensue. It was rather pathetic actually and I was kind of enjoying watching the fight until Quinn pushed Rachel causing her to fall on top of me. Let me tell you that girl is not light.
"Enough!" Sue Sylvester yelled separating each girl from clawing each others faces off. Gently Rachel lifted her ass of me while I quickly got up inspecting the damage. "What was this about?" Mrs. Sylvester demanded from the cheerios.
"These girls said they were dating my boyfriend." Rachel said hotly.
"Your boyfriend Puck would never go for you." Santana scoffed. Causing the girls to go into yet another claw fest while the cheerio's coach tried to separate them. I don't know why but something inside me snapped.
"This guy is cheating on all of you and your beating each other? Honestly!" I yelled, causing each girl to turn their head to stare in shock.
"Umm… who are you?" Brittany asked with her usual confused expression. I ignored her and headed towards the locker room, leaving Mrs. Sylvester to deal with the cheated girls.
That should have been the end of it. I should have happily gone through life without those girls ever bothering me again. Instead later that day Mrs. Sylvester tracked me down and gave me detention saying, I shouldn't have left class and that fight was as much my fault as the others. Where is the logic in that last part don't ask me.
Luckily or unluckily if you're me, we ended up with Mrs. Holland who just takes attendance and then ditches the detentionees to go bother the other teachers. Leaving us students to do whatever, heck if we wanted we could ditch the room ourselves roam the school and the town. Not that I'd ever do that.
"Kurt right?" Rachel asked me as soon as Mrs. Holland left to go who knows where. I just nodded, to be honest I'm not accustomed to anyone really talking to me seeing as I don't have friends just bullies. So as all of Puck's girlfriends migrated to my table I just starred dumbstruck.
"Kurt we need your help." Quinn said simply while the others all nodded.
'W-with Wh-hat?" I stuttered they had never even talked to me before besides the occasional insult or assigned group project.
"Will it's simple really we want to get back at Puck. He didn't even have the decency to tell us a diverse story when we all confronted him." Rachel answered.
For any one curious apparently all the girls asked him if this scandal was true and he repeated the exact same monologue to each of them. Seriously it was word for word, he must have practiced this little speech hundreds of times.
"Yes that boy needs to pay; no one does that to me." Mercedes said with no small amount of anger in her voice.
"Okay and why do I have to help? And what's in it for me?" I asked looking at the women surrounding me; let me tell you I felt like a trapped gazelle about to be eaten alive.
"You see we've been discussing it and we all agree that it would be quite effective if we made Puck feel the heartbreak he put us through." Rachel supplied while I just starred at her wondering if she always talked so much. How simple is it to just say "We want revenge".
"Yeah and we were thinking sense you kind of seemed like the voice of reason today if you'd help keep us from ripping up each others throats." Santana said casting the other girls except Brittney a glare.
"We still don't know how to get him back though." Brittney said with her usual somewhat dazed look.
"So you want me act as an intermediary and help you come up with a plan." I stated summing up their very lose job description. "But again why would I want to help you guys?"
"Simple because if you help us, Santana and I can make you so popular that your morning slushy showers will be a thing of the past." Quinn said with a smug smile causing my eyes to pop out of my sockets.
"I'm in!" I quickly replied.
Slushy baths are not fun. I figured helping them was a small price to pay to keep my perfectly pampered face and amazing cloths safe from the syrupy ice of doom. Plus a small bonus, popularity usually entails an entourage of mindless robotic friends to care for your every whim. Yeah, I want true friends to think for them selves and like me for me but seeing that I have none mindless robots sounds pretty nice right?
"Great, now do you have any ideas on how to make that boy squirm?" Mercedes said smiling evilly. Suddenly I found my self fearing for Pucks manhood seriously that black woman seemed like she wanted to castrate him.
"Ummm… will don't we want him to fall for someone and have her break his heart?" Santana asked reminding them all of them original plan.
"Yeah, but hears the kicker ladies," Brittney started looking around wildly then whispered to her best friend "I don't see any kickers." Santana rolled her eyes saying she'd explain later. "Umm… where are you going to find someone to pretend to be in love with Puck. Then you have the problem of getting Puck to like her and convincing the girl to dump his ass." I said stating some pretty important flaws.
"Oh, getting Puck to like the girl won't be a problem if she's got boobs he'll pin after her. Though then again there's always an exception to the rule." Quinn said casting a smug look at Rachel, causing the self-proclaimed star to smack her across the head.
"Ladies please!" I said rubbing my temples exasperated.
"Sorry," Rachel apologized and then it happened she had the idea that would change everything. Slowly her eyebrows arched in surprise at how brilliant it all was causing us to become curious. "It's so simple."
"What is?" Brittney asked unsurprisingly confused. We all nodded in agreement wanting her to fill us in on this simple plan.
"Kurt can do it." I'm pretty sure my jaw was on the floor when she said that.
"E-excuse me? Me, But I'm a guy?" I stuttered out, wondering if she was on something. I've been hearing rumors that you can purchase some marijuana from someone called the Chronic Lady, whoever that is.
"Exactly!"
"Excuse me but I'm still confused here what exactly are you thinking?" Mercedes asked looking back and forth from Rachel to me.
"Puck considers himself a stud right." We all nodded causing her to continue. "So I think it stands to reason that if a guy did the heartbreaking not only would it have a stronger impact. But then he'd be even further humiliated." I just starred at her while the others quickly signed on to making me the heartbreaker.
"It's brilliant Puck would never live it down." Santana smiled.
"We could make a documentary of it to then show the rest of the school, I have a camera." Rachel supplied. Volunteering the camera she used to keep her talent out there via MySpace.
"Hey aren't you forgetting I'm still a guy. I don't have the boobs so he won't pin after me."
"Easily fixed, if we get a wig we can say you're flat-chested. Besides you'd make one hot white girl." Mercedes smiled and despite my better judgment I couldn't help but blush at that last part. It takes hours to keep my self looking this good and it's always nice to hear that it's been paying off.
"Fine but first off what in the world makes you think I'd want to date Puck of all people even just for pretend. There are so many flaws in this plan we could call it Swiss cheese, then there's the fact I'm not gay." I lied through my teeth, but come on I'm so far in the closet I'm in Narnia. I haven't even told my dad yet, trust me that's not a conversation I'm looking forward to. So why on earth would I tell these people I hardly know the truth.
"Please." Rachel said rolling her eyes. "You are either gay or one of the most extreme metrosexuals I know. You wore a corset to school!"
"What's a corset?" Brittney asked while Santana shushed her.
"Will I'm not!" I said in a huff hating the fact that she was dragging me and my sexuality into this mess. As the star rolled her eyes at me I quickly packed up my things and left. "I'm out." I called over my shoulder. Thankfully none of the female hounds followed, we still technically had five more minutes of detention but after the days fiascos I didn't care.
As I headed to my car I was in my own little world wondering if I had made the wrong decision. I was so caught up in this dilemma that I didn't notice Puck hiding behind the dumpster. Before I could let out a yelp, him and couple other Neanderthals lifted me up and would have tossed me and my Armani jacket straight in the dumpster if the quarterback hadn't rushed to my safety.
"Hey guys coach says we need to get back to practice breaks o-ver…"He paused noticing me. "Umm… what are you doing to Kurt?" He knew my name, for a moment I forgot everything but then the jocks dropped me and I fell flat on my ass again.
"Nothing, just having some fun." Puck smiled picking up my bag and tossing it towards me. It hit me in the face. As I got up to size up on any damage to my cloths the football players left leaving me with none other than Puck's best friend. Also known in my mind as my knight in shining armor the boy I love, Finn Hudson.
I've been in love with Finn for awhile now, since the first day we met. I had been walking down the hallway when suddenly I found myself shoved face first into a locker by Puck the mohawked bully. Finn being the nice guy he is quickly apologized for his friend's behavior.
Ever since I've been head over heels in love with the guy, Later on I learned he was on the football team, my daily neighborhood bullies. So of course when he gives into peer pressure I'll get the occasional prank from him. I still remember those pee balloons and I have a sneaking suspicion that he might have been in on the whole nailing my lawn chairs to my roof prank.
Anyways the worse part is that Finn is straight. He went out with Quinn briefly until his bud hijacked her and then I think he had a small fling with Rachel also taken by Puck. Anyone else noticing some trends here?
"So uhh… Kurt I better get back to practice." Finn said shuffling his feet obviously nervous.
"Oh will thanks for the h-help." I responded gesturing at the blue dumpster.
"Sure bye." He said turning around walking away then when he reached the football field he turned around to grant me one finale wave. I was in bliss all the way to my car I smiled like I was on drugs and in a way I was. Sadly my journey to my car was short lived, apparently someone up there decided that I needed another obstacle.
"You're in love with him aren't you?" That obstacle was Rachel; slowly I turned around to find her and the trio of cheerios. "I'm right!" She smiled at her own genuineness.
"Wait he has a crush on Finn? My ex?" Quinn shrieked.
"So he really is gay?" Brittany stared around confused.
"He's my ex too!" Rachel smirked happy to have a way to annoy the head cheerleader. Before Quinn could start another catfight Santana stepped between the two to speak.
"So I'm guessing you don't want Finn to find out right?" My eyes were as wide as saucers, knowing were this was going, black mail. "Girls I think we have ourselves a heartbreaker meet Kate." I gulped what had I gotten myself into.
Allrighty this fanfic i'm actually really excited for and i hope you are too! Now there is a few things i've got to mention.
1. Story stuff
-There's going to be some stuff that will follow the show but obviously not everything will. For exsample no one's in glee yet. There will be some crossdressing and i'm gonna try my best to stay true to the charectors.
- Okay i know that some of you will be waiting for the next installmeant. but it might take a bit. Reasons bieng- there are kinks in this story idea i need to solve. i've got a lot of projects in the makeing (sorry). However i have at least started on ch 2.
2. Okay i have to say that the Meet Kate at the end is kinda important. I picked that name for Kurt's female alias for multiple reasons.
- 1. The main female charector in John Tucker is named Kate. 2. 'Playing Dressup'- great fanfic love it. 3. due to playing dressup and the closeness of Kurts name to kate i think that should be the official female name for kurt. 4. It's meant to be
3. Last thing please comment and check out my futre and present glee fanfics! see ya next time :)
