Hi guys! I know! I haven't yet finished the sequel to 'The Holiday', but this came to me on a whim and I thought that I'd write it! I really hope you enjoy this, please Read and Review! Thanks! x
Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognize, the characters are all J.K. Rowlings.
Dear James,
I'm writing this and I should be writing my potions essay, and really, if you think about it, this is a waste of time. Because you're never going to get it. No matter how much I think I'll give it too you, I won't. Not now, not ever. And it seems ironic, I think, that you can say your feelings to me so easily and I can't even mention that I don't mind you without having a complete mental shut down and blurting something stupid like 'You're too tall'. Why you may ask? It's because I fancy you. No not just any type of ordinary fancying, I really, really, really fancy you. I would even say that our feelings are the same. Now, that's sort of conceited of me isn't it? Thinking that you still feel the same way. So maybe a better way of putting it is, that I fancy you as much as you used to fancy me. So that sort of covers all bases, I think.
You won't ever read this letter, so it won't matter any how. I'll work up some courage and walk up to you, I'll say hi and almost faint when you smile down at me, then I'll open my mouth to tell you I have a letter for you, and I'll chicken out. I'll scrunch up the letter in my hand, stuff it in my bag and ask you for help on something. You'll probably look disappointed, because it seemed like I was going to say something important. But I couldn't, because I'm so scared that you don't like me any more. And me, being me, I can't possibly say something unless I'm 100% sure I know what is going to happen, and telling you that I like you has so many different endings that I can't even process it in my brain.
But, if I think about this logically, it's all your fault. I can list 100 reasons why this is your fault. 1. You're much too good looking for your own good. If you were ugly then I wouldn't feel so attracted to you, I wouldn't blush when you smile at me, or get goose bumps if our fingers touch, and I wouldn't fancy you. 2. You're much to nice and sweet and kind and 100 other things that I could also write a list about. If you weren't so perfect I would find it easier to tell you I fancy you, or I wouldn't fancy you. So that solves the problem. But you're not, you're always nice to me, you help everyone out, you're funny and wise and smart and I can't even begin to describe how good you alone make me feel about myself all the time. 3. You stopped asking me out last year! Now why on earth would you do that? Of course, I can think of many reasons why you would, and you probably stopped asking me out because you stopped liking me. And with the way I was treating you, I totally understand. The only thing is, when you stopped asking me out I realized how much I enjoyed it, how much I love to rile you up and make you angry and how I feel when you ask me out and just the guaranteed contact between us every day. It made me feel incredibly happy, and I loved it. And it was since you stopped asking me out that I have realized I like you. And it's ironic, because just as you stop asking me out, I want you too. And I'll sound selfish and rude if I tell you that. But that's the reasons you are to blame for me not telling you that I fancy you.
I should probably get back to my essay. In fact I should definitely get back to my essay, but I don't want to. Because writing you this letter, that you'll never receive, makes me feel connected to you in ways I only wish I could be connected. If I write you a letter I can at least pretend that you like me back, and that I'll give this to you and that you'll snog me right there in the hallway. But as soon as I put down this quill, and fold up this letter, all that will be gone. I'll come crashing back into reality and I'll realize that none of that will ever happen because I'm so shy and proud to ever tell you that I love you. Wow, I said it. It flows so easy from my pen. I love you. I do, I love you James Potter.
That's another reason I won't tell you, because I love you, and if you don't like me back at all, I'll be heart broken. I'll shatter into a million pieces and I won't put my self back together until I'm far away from Hogwarts and you. And I don't think I could ever stand being away from you. So that really does leave me no option but to not tell you. And if you could see this like I can, and if you were to read this, you would understand. Because it makes perfect sense, and that's what I like, sense. And being with you wouldn't make sense. But for all I've said in this letter, about wanting to make sense, and know the outcomes, I don't. I just want to run into your arms and stay there.
I don't want to be perfect anymore, I want to be with you. I want to have no plans and no schedules and no thinking and no outcomes. I want to act on my whim and just do what ever I please, and I want to do that with you. Because that's what you're like, you don't follow plans, you think out of the box and I love that about you so much. Something draws me to that, and I know I shouldn't want it, but I do.
So I'll sign off now. I'll go through the mental state of wanting to give you this letter and wanting to run away, I'll go and find you and I'll lose all my courage and then I'll come back, finish my potions essay and write another letter to you. And I would have thrown this one away but I can bet you 10 galleons that it will be almost the exact same. And I'll fall behind on work and stay up late tonight, but I won't mind because you stay up late doing homework too. And I'll get to spend and extra hour with you in the heads room. I sound like a love sick puppy, but maybe I do because I am. I'm in love with you and it's killing me.
I hope you have a lovely day James, I hope that you keep smiling and maybe you realize I like you and I won't have to tell you, because we all know how that will end, I won't tell you. I hope the sun shines just for you, and that you think about me just as much as I think about you.
Yours forever,
Lily xoxo
So, what did you think? I'm not sure whether to write another letter or not, so review and tell me if you think I should write another letter! You're input really does help me, and I appreciate all the reviews I get! Thanks!
