Lazy

Yami, the world's greatest duelist, 3000 year old Pharaoh and winner of The Wackiest Hair Competition raised an arm from where he lay on the sofa and held up a card in two slender fingers.

"I summon Dark Magician," Dark Magician appeared in front of him "to fetch me a Mountain Dew from the kitchen!"

"... As you wish," The Mage sighed and trailed away.

"Celtic Guardian, are you done making my triple peperoni pizza?" Yami yelled. The distant reply of 'no' was heard. Yami's stomach groaned in disappointment.

"Well, hurry up!" He paused to shuffle through his deck, "Now I summon-"

"THAT'S IT! GET HIM!" Dark Magician girl yelled, pointing her staff at Yami as the rest of the duel monsters let out war cries.

"W-wha- NOOOOOO!" Yami yelled as he drowned in a sea of duel monsters staging a particularly violent coup d'etat. He struggled helplessly, weakened from all the junk food he'd eaten which made him unfit and pudgy. When they were finished beating the crap out of him, Dark Magician took a victory swig of mountain dew.

"And that's what you get for being lazy!"

The End