The water was ice cold on my skin despite the burning sensation in my lungs, i could feel the desperation beginning to set in as i fought against the urge to take a breath in. But i knew if i did that it would be game over. I'd never get to see my mother again or any of my brothers, memories of playing with them as a child flashed through my mind as i struggled to keep going. Instead of staying in this watery hell i allowed my mind to float freely to an old memory i didn't know i had.

My oldest brother, Jack, was around 13 years old his clothes to big for him he was helping me climb up a tree, he looked so young compared to his current self who was covered in scars and looked more like a man than the boy i remembered. Once we'd made it to the top of the tree we were hidden by the leaves and could barely see the ground beneath us, i remembered how we'd held our breath when our mother came looking for us thinking it would make it harder to find us. But she knew us far too well for that trick to work she instinctively looked up and began laughing and telling us to come down calling us her little monkeys, after a quick descent we walked back to the picnic blanket where my other two brothers (Matthew and Jerome) were sat eating with a sour look in their faces. I remembered how they'd insisted they were the best hiders yet every game they lost and with every game they became more and more sour. Another memory of my youngest brother (Jerome) and i hiding in our mother's drawing room whilst she entertained some guests in the room next to us we stayed up late past our bedtimes and danced till the music ended. The time all four of us snuck into the kitchen and stole all the cakes fresh from the trays and ran like mad men into the garden and up the trees before stopping to stuff our faces, then returning to the house late at night to be scolded by the cook and the scullery maid.

It's a shame that it's all different now… I looked around to see that i'd been left behind by my brothers, i could see the black outlines of their silhouettes in the far distance and i forced myself to keep moving. my muscle burned from the lack of air and i tried my best to ignore it, my vision began to blur after a few strokes but i pressed on. Death would be a sweeter mercy then i'd be given if rather rip my own toenails off then go back there. i felt my limbs begin to weaken and my head begin to get light, the temptation to open my mouth a take in a big gulp of water was growing, i knew it meant certain death if i did it but the cold water would have felt so nice in my lungs. The icy harshness would have been a brief relief to the fire beginning to rip through my body, intensifying with every second that the shadows of my brothers faded and i could feel my stomach dragging along the bottom of the bottom of the river i was to tired to worry about sinking. 'At Least down here i'll find some solace' i thought as i gave up. I felt myself sinking to the bottom of the river bed the fight in me was gone. We'd been running for days now and swam for so long i'd almost forgotten what the world above the murky hell looked like. I wish we'd just gone over the bridge instead of swimming around. But Jack had insisted it would be safer, he was so stubborn the rest of us had seen no point in arguing. Being the oldest he also held a power of authority over the rest of us, i often felt sorry for him. Instead of being a child as the rest of us had been, Jack had to take responsibility for us and care for us when we left.

My limbs caught and tangled in the rocks, it almost took me a moment to realize i could feel a breeze on the very top of my head. I lifted my head up at lightning speed and i choked on the influx of air now filling my lungs, i hadn't noticed i was at the river bank until it hit me that i wasn't drowning on murky river water. An arm yanked my from my rocky coffin and yanked me into the brush, i allowed myself to be pulled along my sense strengthening with every intake of air. I blinked the water from my eyes and they slowly focused i looked to my savior, Matthew looked to be in a lot better condition from the long swim than i was. His hand remained clamped to my arm as he dragged me behind him. We came to a tiny clearing where Jack was waiting with Jerome in his arms, his tiny frail body dangling looking even smaller in Jack's muscular frame which seemed almost to tower over him. The four of us made our way through the trees and tall grass running without looking back. We ran till we collapsed in a heap unable to breath or move another inch.