I decided after years of hiding from the fact that I wrote this... thing, I was going to re-write it. To the returning readers, and the new, have 'The Big Adventure: HD Re-Release'. This will tone down the bashing a bit, and up the quality of the original.


It was just another sunny day in the Mystic Ruins. Taking advantage of the rare peace, the birds were singing their songs, the waves crashed against the shore and were actually heard, and a few mobians took the time to relax until Dr. Robotnik broke out of jail once again. Said mobians were Tails and Sonic, working in their workshop and lounging in the sun, respectively.

Enjoying his day off, Sonic the Hedgehog drifted off, mumbling about pie in his sleep.

Things were not as peaceful about a mile down the coast, where two friends played in the surf, enjoying the fact that College was over for the summer, and that the landscape wasn't destroyed. One of them was an Echidna, light blue in color with darker blue eyes and matching blue bands on her quills and in her messy hair. Michiko, as was her name, was currently clad in a pink two-piece bathing suit, trying to get away from the other.

Her friend was Midnight, a rare half-breed of Hedgehog and Echidna. This female was a darker brown in color, with messy purple bangs, purple around her eyes, red streaks on her quills, and on her legs. Wearing blue swim shorts and a black swim shirt, she attempted to chase her friend through the water, but was having trouble since her glasses were back with their clothes on the beach.

When the two finally got tired and hungry, they retreated to the beach and pulled out some food, which for the two happened to be an assortment of cheese, candy, energy drinks, and sandwiches. Eating their fill, they turned their gaze upward and watched the clouds, soon falling into a discussion about Eggman, the ruins, some rotten eggs in someone's fridge, and of course, how that cloud looked like a dick.

"Wow, look at that cloud. Looks like a big ol' dick ta me."

Not bothering to state that, yes, it did indeed look like a cock, the older of the two looked elsewhere and pointed at a flying object. She never got a chance to shout, because the next thing anyone knew, the machine was pelting them with asparagus (which Midnight started to eat), Calculus books, squash, and the before mentioned rotten eggs. A few pictures floated down like confetti as well.

This, of course, prompted singing as the two ran for the shelter of a nearby cavern. "It's the end of the world as we know it! Oh, it's the end of the worl-" Midnight then ran into a wall, which was pretty sad to watch, because she looked a bit crazy while doing it. Being calmer, Michiko picked up one of the pictures and examined it, and decided the slutty bat on it would make for a great dartboard.

The rain of random objects didn't go unnoticed back where Sonic and Tails were, considering a black blur got nailed by a book, shouted, "Holy crap, it's magic time!", and then fell unconscious into a door. Tails watched this and shook his head, and dragged Shadow into a cavern nearby. Sonic followed because he thought it was hilarious. Knuckles was just there. No one knows when he got there, or where he kept getting those fedoras and shades from.

Deciding to follow the cavern deeper into the mountain (because they aren't too bright), the group failed to notice their environment changing around them. The floor was going from rock, to polished marble, to snow, and back again before settling on weed-choked ground. The walls turned into a weird jelly-like substance before turning into tree-trunks, and the ceiling went from stone, to stone showing weird monsters and trees, to leaves. The sound of a wind instrument floated on the air, and the air smelled like honeysuckle.

"Don't go towards the light!"

"The fuck Tails?"

Meanwhile, the two females, okay, no, it was just Michiko, she had lost Midnight somewhere in the cave (which was pretty fucking impressive since it was a straight line). Anyways, she looked around the forest in wonder before deciding to wander around it. Humming the tune on the air, she never expected about a dozen human children to jump from the trees and surround her. They all wore similar clothes; green tunics and brown boots. Some of them had weird pointed hats, but all of them had a weapon of some sort. Michiko didn't give a shit, she was busy looking at one that had cheese.

"Oh thank GOD! I was getting hungry." Walking up to the boy, she took his cheese and then ignored him as he moaned that the cheese was his lunch. She didn't care, she climbed up a tree and ate it.

Midnight, on the other hand, somehow had gotten lost in the tunnel and was in a huge green field. There was a town and a castle in the distance, a ranch of sorts a bit closer, and a river off to her side. The ranch and river didn't interest her though, so she headed towards the castle. She figured she would find her friend there, since the girl couldn't resist causing mayhem wherever she went. Midnight shook her head, she had regretted showing her friend 'Lilo and Stitch'.

Along the way, she thought about what she would do, and came to the conclusion she should do what was expected of her. Which was, to say, set fire to toilets, buy ramen, soda, and cheese, light smoke-bombs and fling them at people, and then find Michiko so they could split the loot. Increasing her speed, she was upset to find that the drawbridge was going up as the sun was setting.

"Fuck you guys!"

"Shoulda gotten here sooner, bitch!"

Kicking the dirt in frustration, she nearly jumped out of her fur when two skeletons popped out of the dirt after darkness fell. Staggering towards her, she looked around before pulling out a watermelon and held it over the castle moat. Being dumbasses, the skeletons lumbered after it, fell into the moat, and burned to death.

Sonic was just giving Tails an odd look, and it was freaking the fox out. He was ready to do some kind of spectacular fucking jackknife off the loop if the look kept going. Thankfully, Knuckles offered some jelly to Sonic, while stating, "Hey, did you know that the walls were made of jelly back there?,' while offering more jelly to a now awake Shadow.

"The fuck? I didn't know you had pockets."

"I don't"

Everyone dropped the jelly they had and decided to abscond the fuck out of there, only to run into an Echidna looting a village of cheese, bananas, and random clothing. Seriously, she looked like Dobby the Elf from 'Harry Potter'. They couldn't stop watching, even after she started screaming about rotten eggs, some spider bitch, and Jelly World.

"What the fuck is Jelly World?" Shadow had woken up to shenanigans.

Everyone shrugged.

Sonic looked at him for a minute. "When did you wake up?"

"Just now."

"Oh."

Meanwhile, Midnight was getting tired of watching skeleton after skeleton burn to death in water, so she tossed the fruit into the water and let the current take the undead away from her. Looking around and deeming it safe, she took out another one and sliced it. Before she could eat it, though, a demented pink hedgehog ran past and stole it.

"The hell?"

Shrugging, she watched the sun rise, and fell into the moat when a rooster crowed from absolutely nowhere. Pulling herself out, she waited until the drawbridge lowered and entered town. From there, she proceeded to set fire to toilets, buy random things, steal all the masks in some shop, switch into dry clothing, and kick some guy in the ass. It didn't matter no one gave a fuck that she wasn't human, but just to make sure, she yelled the fact loudly. It was so loud, in fact, that Eggman heard it in Station Square and fell off his floating chair.

All it resulted in was a boy in green running up and poking here a few times before running off. She just stalked the boy, because she knew that he knew where her friend was.

Back in the forest, Michiko was having the time of her life. Setting things on fire, raiding chests, wearing someone else's clothes, stealing money, and then using that money to buy arrows, which she then managed to steal from herself. Everyone was confused by it. They were less confused when she went back into the store and took some seeds, a shield, a stick, a bottle containing a fairy, the carpet, some more money, and finally, the lightbulb.

Sonic was resisting to stop the 'criminal', and turned to ask the opinion of the others, only to see they were sitting in some lawn chairs while eating popcorn and drinking rootbeer. When raising a questioning brow, Shadow shrugged and flipped him off. The blue speedster was about to reply when a boy ran into the clearing with another female following him. Said female was nursing a bottle of Southern Comfort, and was pulling a fairy behind her on a string. She also nodded wisely when the the Echidna female started dancing like a senile old man.

Sonic looked at the newcomer, looked at the others, jerked his finger over his shoulder while shrugging, and when they all looked over, all they saw was a bottle of laxatives. Rubbing his eyes, Sonic looked back over, and all that was there was a shoe.

"Where the fuck were you, Middy?"

"I dunno. I wandered around and BAM! Here you were. I was so shocked, I almost peed myself."

"Uh..."

"Oh, yeah, here. Got ya a few things." Midnight then handed Michiko some cheese, weapons, Harry Potter books, a MP3 player, some KFC chicken, and a picture of Knuckles in the shower. No one was quite sure where she got it, not even herself.

"Who is this guy?"

She responded by jerking her thumb over her shoulder.

Knuckles looked around, but no one else wanted to figure it out, so he glided over and frowned at the picture. He turned to the hedgehog and glared at her.

"Where the hell did you get this?"

"..."

"HEY!"

"The internet. You happy?"

"No."

"Well too fucking bad, you unattractive pretentious pile of go fuck yourself."

Everyone just looked at her. When she didn't do anything other than attempting to play gold with a modded version of the Piko Piko Hammer, they decided to meet each other. They quickly learned that females were crazy, and they should stay away. It was decided when the brown female smacked Amy in the face with the hammer right into a giant owl. She then smacked Sonic in the face with the same hammer.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?"

"For peeing on my carpet!"

"I never peed on you carpet! In fact, I don't even know where you live!"

"So? I know where you pee!"

Sonic just looked confused. "...How?"

Flashback

Midnight was totally not stalking someone as she watched some house in some shitty city. She didn't remember why she was there, but decided it was funny watching what was going on inside. She watched a pink hedgehog chase a blue one around, and how a female black and red hedgehog somehow burned a no-bake Oreo pie. After watching some slutty bat steal some jewelry, and the blue hedgehog go into the bathroom, she left. Probably to go spy on Eggman or something.

End Flashback

"Wait, what? I don't remember any of the shit happening!"

Shadow got interrupted from telling Sonic he was stupid by the sky going dark and the ground rumbling. Ashes fell from the sky and the leaves withered and died. Deciding not to stick around, the group went down a path, chuckling nervously as a plant popped out of the ground and tried to bite Knuckles. Sonic spindashed it, and him and Knuckles bro-fisted as they continued down the path.