This is a Hiccup/Astrid fic. It is more or less a drabble, neither overly fluffy nor graphic.
I don't know how good this fic is.
The song is The Fragile, by Nine Inch Nails.
Obviously, I own neither the characters, nor the lyrics.
Falling Apart
It didn't happen right away, but it didn't take long either. First it was just a noticeably optimistic and idealistic attitude. After the battle with the red death it was unwavering determination and astounding growth. With the battle against Drago it was self-sacrificing, mature, and resilient were added to the ever growing list of adjectives used to describe Hiccup Haddock.
Everyone could see his evolution, could see how wonderful he was. Everyone but the boy himself. That just allowed people to add another adjective; endearing.
She shines in a world full of ugliness
She matters when everything is meaningless
Fragile, she doesn't see her beauty
Sometimes it's just that nothing seems worth saving
I can't watch her slip away
Astrid could understand 'endearing,' but she didn't agree that the term fit the brown haired teen. Astrid thought his obliviousness was infuriating. Hiccup couldn't see his worth. He couldn't see how much he'd grown, nor could he see his limits. He couldn't see how much he was loved. He couldn't see how much it hurt those who loved him every time he threw himself into the worst of the battles, and tried to save everyone.
I won't let you fall apart
I won't let you fall apart
I won't let you fall apart
I won't let you fall apart
I won't let you fall apart
So Astrid couldn't think of Hiccup's blindness as anything other than infuriating. Infuriating because he was so beautiful and could not see it. Self-less, beautiful Hiccup was one of the only people on Berk- in the whole world, as far as Astrid was concerned, worth saving. Broken, Dragon-obsessed, naïve Hiccup had to be saved, if from nothing else, than from himself. Because Hiccup was all that mattered in Astrid's world where everything was meaningless. Astrid could not let Hiccup slip away. He couldn't let him keep falling apart.
She reads the minds of all the people as they pass her by
Hoping someone will see
If I could fix myself I would die
But it's too late for me
Hiccup could see what people thought of him, knew what was on their minds. And they were all so wrong. They saw strength in him when he felt like he would shatter. They saw determination and dedication rather than desperation. Self-less ness in repentance. Idealism instead of the flimsy hope he helplessly clung to. He kept wishing someone could really see. See how fragile and broken he was and see how he was only trying to fix himself with every battle fought, every person saved. But perhaps he was broken beyond repair, perhaps it was too late for him…
I won't let you fall apart
I won't let you fall apart
I won't let you fall apart
I won't let you fall apart
I won't let you fall apart
So he just kept breaking in silence. Until he noticed Astrid, one uneventful day, just staring at him. He only had a momentary glance of the girl as he worked on a new tail fin for Toothless. And it seemed unimportant at first. Except that the blond girl was staring so pointedly at him. As he was trying to keep from accidentally burn himself at the forge. he dismissed it and forgot about the seemingly insignificant incident. Until it happened again, and again. Soon it was almost every day that he caught Astrid staring at him. Sometimes the look he received was sorrowful, or curious, and somehow demanding. Less often Astrid seemed angry or disgusted, but these negative feelings never seemed to be directed exactly at him... more in his general direction. And Hiccup began to hope that someone was finally seeing him, rather than the costume he wore.
We'll find the perfect place to go where we can run and hide
I'll build a wall and we can keep them on the other side
One day, weeks after the staring began, Astrid knocked on his door and when he answered dragged him off (allowed himself to be 'dragged off,' mind you). Except that Astrid was gentle about it and now when she looked at Hiccup her blue eyes spoke of care and want, and a certain sadness that didn't seem at odds with the two former emotions. Astrid took him to a dark, old barn in the older parts of the Berk, a place that was apparently no longer used- hadn't even been entered in years. And Astrid simply pulled him to sit on the floor and was silent, fidgeting, perhaps in indecision or embarrassment. Confused, Hiccup made to pull his wrist from Astrid's grasp, only to have her grab his hand, holding it firmly, her eyes near pleading and simultaneously demanding that he not pull away. And that was when he knew his wish for understanding, for someone to see, had been granted.
And he smiled a genuine smile, the kind he hadn't used much since Stoick died. Hiccup shifted close, now nearly sitting on Astrid's lap and kissed her. A kiss that was quickly and eagerly returned. He sat with a blushing Astrid, he drew closer, and laced their fingers together. With Astrid at his side perhaps he wouldn't fall apart anymore.
It's something I have to do
I won't let you fall apart
I was like you
I won't let you fall apart
It was just a dusty, old barn and just for the afternoon, but it was the perfect place for them to run and hide. Astrid wanted more than an afternoon alone with Hiccup. Now her Hiccup. She wanted to build walls around them and keep everyone on the other side. She wanted to do something, anything, to keep the evils of the world away from the brown haired boy. However, she knew that she could not keep self-sacrificing/repentant, determined/despairing Hiccup Haddock away from the village and all to himself. So instead of building walls she would become that wall for the young cheif. And instead of hiding him away she would defend her Hiccup from everything. Because she, like everyone else, couldn't help but love the one-legged boy. Except that she loved the boy differently- and certainly more than everyone else. And the dragon boy was hers, and she knew Hiccup best, and they were so alike. They were both fragile, but she wasn't broken like Hiccup and Astrid just couldn't let him fall apart anymore.
Before everything else
I won't let you fall apart
I was like you
I won't let you fall apart
