Soul mate
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Who doesn't long for someone to hold? Who knows how to love you, without being told?
Unrequited NxS
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It was during one of the few quiet moments that he wondered.
He sat down on the branch, legs dangling over the edge. The wind blew through his sweaty hair, and he grimaced. Tsunade would be expecting him back within the village soon, and he needed a shower, but… something stopped him. He didn't really like to be alone, and as a consequence once he stepped into the village, he was bombarded with friends. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem—quite the opposite, really.
But…
He stared up through the trees, hands held together and clenching, eyebrows drawn and eyes squinting. He was 25 now… training to follow in Tsunade's footsteps-- because she was, after all, the closest thing besides Iruka-sensei he had to any sort of actual parent—as Hokage. He had done a lot in his life… but why did he feel so empty? No, scratch that, he knew why… but why? Why him? Friends only masked the wound, concealing it until the next time that he was alone.
He knew what he wanted—no, needed—but he knew it was unreachable. An unattainable goal, something that he couldn't punch and kick his way to, as much as he had tried. The old man had once said you could catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, but Sasuke had never really liked honey that much… or vinegar, or anything, really.
The sigh escaped unnoticed, and he shut his eyes and his head turned down into his chest. Blonde hair fell over his forehead, bangs held back only slightly by the worn headband around his head. He had heard Sakura once, gushing on and on to Ino about Soul mates-- and how everyone had one, and surely Sasuke was hers. Then they had gotten into a fist fight, and he had stared at his feet in confusion.
He remembered asking himself if he, too, had a soul mate somewhere out there.
No, he concluded, Jinchuuriki don't get soul mates.
But…
He remembered, once, feeling whole. It was a small, insignificant memory for most, but it had struck a chord somewhere deep inside. A hole he hadn't even been aware of had been filled, even if just for a moment. He remembered clearly that he and Sasuke had been training, Sasuke had once again beaten him to a pulp, but that hadn't squashed his mood. He would surely get Sasuke next time, of course.
It was nearly sunset when they had finished beating on each other enough to call it quits; Naruto sported several cuts and bruises, and a nice bruise was blossoming around his eye. Sasuke's lip was cut, and he, too, sported a black eye. His hair had been mussed, and looked decidedly jagged and shorter than usual in the back, compliments of Naruto's mischievous ways.
They had long ago shed their shirts, the Konoha heat brutal even to the natives. A large tree was decided on after several minutes of needless bickering—"That one has longer branches!" "But this one has more leaves, dobe."—, and they collapsed under it, grateful for the shade. It had only been a brief touch; a second of hands brushing, but it had been enough. His face had flamed a brilliant red, and his heart thudded painfully in his chest. Sasuke had only given him a brief, weird glance, before flopping onto his back and closing his eyes—unaware of the world he had turned completely upside down and inside out, leaving Naruto shaking.
He remembered, painfully naïve, wondering if this was what a soul mate felt like. The butterflies in the stomach, the blushing, had he really see something in Sasuke that made him feel like this? Was it alright, to feel like this, towards another man? He'd never felt like this for Sakura…
He enjoyed the rough and tumble relationship they had, the arguments that more often than not, led to cuts and bruises, and sweaty afternoons in the heat. He enjoyed the way Sasuke pretended to ignore him, the way sometimes, when they were alone, they would actually talk. They would always bicker; it was just a part of them, but this was different.
And 13 years later, he still wasn't any closer to the answer. Sasuke had left the village soon after… revenge more important than anything and anyone, more important than… Naruto.
He wondered if you could even fall in love with someone at 12 years old… probably not. Nobody found their soul mate as children, surely. Besides, soul mates were supposed to love you back, right?
But the ache had never gone away, and somewhere, deep inside, he'd never stop looking for Sasuke. He'd given up an active search, even he could only remain optimistic for so long, but a flash of black, spiky hair had him whirling around every time. In vain, but that small flame of hope, perhaps, would never quite be snuffed out.
It was well after sunset by now, and he knew Tsunade would send someone out to find him, but he stayed put, staring dejectedly at the ground below him.
Perhaps… perhaps not everyone had a soul mate, but he could pretend.
Maybe, someday… maybe he'd find that special person.
Maybe, someday, I'll find Sasuke.
--
Somebody tell me, why am I alone? If there's a soul mate, for everyone.
I write sad stories better than happy ones... merf. Song is by Natasha Bedingfield.
