Disclaimer: KoDraCan disclaims SRMTHFG (!). The fandom is the creation and the copyright of Ciro Neili. This prose is a fan-based work and is fictional. Any infringement upon Mr. Neili is not intended. Also, any other brand names of products that are obviously not a creation of KoDraCan or Mr. Neili also falls under the disclaimer.

Claimer: The characters Tobias Bruce and Mina Johnson are creations of KoDraCan. Also, the fictional name of 'Akihito Neili' only serves to be an alternate name for The Alchemist. This is our name for him.

Warning: Be advised, this fic contains romantic interactions between a female original character and a male established character and of couse, my signature male/male pairing. THere is also the antics of chibi monkeys present and some occurences of out-of-characterness.


AN: Now, this story was one hell of a challenge, because I really, really do not like making my original characters 'hook up' with canon characters. Unfortunately, I think my OC Mina may off being MSing, and for that I apologize. Any intention of Mary-Sue qualities is not intentional.


A Rich Man's Blues


((Daddy...)) Nova began as Akihito was brushing her fur. The Alchemist was up and about, grooming his little monkey darlings for the day, ((...How come we don't have a mommy?))

"Well because, my little one," Akihito began, tenderly running the brush through Nova's fur, "Daddy's not good with women,"

((...Daddy...do we have a mommy?)) Nova asked, ((Me 'n the others wanna know how come there's no other girl here?))

"No, Angel...you don't have a mommy. It's just me and Mr. Carrington…and besides, you're the most important little woman in our lives."

Akihito watched Antauri and Gibson play cards, Mandarin and Otto play Chutes and Ladders, and Sprx take a nap on one of the many machines he had around the laboratory.

((Oh...okay.)) Nova said, confused. She hugged the Alchemist and went off to get her tea-party set Clayton brought for her.

"Antauri, come here so I can groom you next."

((But father...I already groomed myself this morning.)) Antauri told him.

Gibson won their game.

"Antauri…" Akihito warned him, giving the cub a serious look as he tapped his foot.

((...Yes sir,)) Antauri scampered over and sat still.

"That's my good Antauri." Akihito smiled, grooming his second oldest son gently.

((Father...did you ever have a mate?)) Antauri asked him.

"Yes…a long time ago son but it didn't last... besides, I'm much happier now that I have you cubs."

Antauri smiled and wagged his tail. Nova and Gibson gave their other siblings worried looks.

Otto and Mandarin looked up from their game for a moment before going back to it. Sprx remained asleep.

"There! All done, Antauri. Don't you look handsome?"

The black monkey cooed and snuggled up to the human. ((Ai shiteru, father!))

Akihito smiled at Antauri's words, setting Antauri down and looked over to Sprx going over to him and scooped him up grooming him while he slept while waiting for Clayton to come see them.

"This is the first time I've seen all you so well behaved."

A knock on the private quarter doors alerted them that Clayton was here. Sprx eventually woke up and scampered around the room for a bit. The monkeys got excited and wagged their tails.

"Come in, Captain we are all decent."

Clayton walked in shyly. At first, the monkeys were confused, as Clayton usually came in hollering and jovial. Upon looking at him, they found out why--

Clayton was dressed nicely, even nicer than they had ever seen. He was in a dark-colored sweater and solid black dress pants. His hair was styled and he was wearing small glasses. The monkeys tilted their heads in curiosity. Akihito almost lost his breath; Clayton looked so much more handsome well-dressed and groomed.

"My you look very handsome, Clayton. What's going on, hmm?"

Clayton laughed and placed a hand on his head. "Thanks...I hope Mina likes this too." he said.

Akihito's eyebrows were raised at the new name. "Mina?"

"Oh...Mina's my new girlfriend, Aki. I thought I told you about her. I've been dating her for seven months tonight and I'm taking her out for our anniversary dinner. Oh, Aki...you and monkeys would love her! She's the best thing to happen to me all these months!"

Clayton looked as if he had little anime hearts in his eyes. The man was in full adoration mode. The monkeys looked at their father.

Akihito was quite heartbroken, he had always liked Clayton but he didn't show it as he stood up sounding cold, "That's' nice Clayton. Excuse me if I'm not jumping for joy exchanging causal urban vulgarities about how 'lucky you are getting" like a normal man."

Clayton stopped doing the love dance with his precious Mina in his mind and turned towards Akihito, "Aki? What's up with you? I thought you'd be happy for me?"

Akihito didn't say anything and disappeared down the hall as Mandarin scoffed, ((Stupid human... can't he see father loves him more than any woman would. Your turn Otto.))

(( Huh? Oh yeah...))

"Akihito? Well fine then, be a dou-jerk!" Clayton huffed, watching his language. Antauri went over and sat by his feet, wanting a hug. He knelt down and gave Antauri a big hug. "At least you're happy for me, my special little guy!"

Antauri smiled sadly, hugging him back.

Otto frowned and came over; he wanted a hug too!

"Awww..." He picked up Otto and gave him a hug, "You know guys...you might meet Mina one day. I'm planning on telling her I'm Captain Shuggazoom tonight."

Mandarin started hissing. He stormed over and jerked Otto and Antauri away from Clayton and kept hissing at the brunette.

"What the--Mandarin!" Clayton was surprised at Mandarin's behavior, "Aki! Mandarin's hissing at me!"

Akihito came out from the children's room, which made Mandarin stop and release Antauri and Otto. The older man ushered all the children to the kitchen, adding in non-hostile tone, "Have a good night at your date, Clayton."

The Alchemist failed to notice that Otto had gotten into Clayton's gym bag in the rush to get his children in the kitchen.

"That's better…thanks, Akihito. You're the best." Clayton smiled, grabbing his bag. He flew off, taking some wildflowers to give to Mina on his date.


He landed in his back yard and went inside his mansion. Tobias Bruce, Clayton's butler and father-figure, was waiting for him.

"Miss Johnson will be here in thirty minutes."

"Thanks, Toby. Here's my gym bag. Give it a good wash, will ya?" Clayton smiled. Otto was curled up among all the objects half asleep when he was jerked awake but couldn't breathe and when Toby took it away Otto struggled in the bag.

Tobias was startled and dropped the bag. Out came Otto.

"What the--OTTO?!" Tobias gasped.

Otto tumbled out and shook off a sock and looked cutely up at Toby before running off.

"Otto! Come back here!" Tobias called out, chasing after the monkey.

Meanwhile, Clayton was finishing up the paperwork he brought over from his company when the phone and the doorbell rang.

"TOBY! Get the phone! I'll get the door!" Clayton called out, getting the wildflowers.

"IN A MINUTE!" Tobias stated, cornering Otto in the guest room.

Otto chattered and ran under Tobias' feet. He ran straight for the door, letting a soft screech and high tailed it out of there, hiding in one of the many bathrooms.

Clayton sighed and opened the door. A red-headed woman with green eyes, a pixie haircut and a tight black dress was at the door.

"Hello, beautiful. You actually went out and got that pixie cut you wanted." Clayton smiled, kissing her.

"Thanks, You actually got all dolled up for little old me." Mina purred. Clayton blushed, handing her the wildflowers. She took them and inhaled their invigorating scent.

"You're a sweetheart, Clayton." Mina laughed, putting one of the flowers in her hair, "Ready to go?"

"Yeah. Toby, can you please get the phone?" Clayton asked, taking Mina's hand.

Akihito growled over the other line as he kept calling. Toby finally picked up.

"Tobias! Thank God! I can't find Otto!" Akihito exclaimed.

"The little weasel was in Clayton's gym bag. He's hiding in the master bathroom. Can you come and get him? Clayton's already left with his date." Toby sighed.

"I'm already on my way!"

Little did they know that Otto had slipped out of the window and was now following Clayton and his date.

"Where are we going Clayton?" Mina asked.

"Only the finest little spot in town for my finest lady. It's the little bistro I met you at. Happy Anniversary, Mina." Clayton smiled.

"Oh, Clay!" She purred, kissing his cheek.


In a very nice little bistro downtown, Clayton was in the middle telling a joke to Mina when suddenly there were screams. Out of the kitchen came little Otto. He screeched and jumped right into Clayton's arms.

"Clayton! What is that?!" Mina gasped.

"OTTO?!" Clayton was horrified. "Um...Mina....this...this is Otto."

The little monkey whimpered and buried his face in Clayton's clothing.

"Oh my GOD, how disgusting!"

"Mina! He's completely harmless! Aren't you, Ottie?" Clayton smiled, his eyes pleading to Otto. Otto gave his 'cute-and-innocent' look to Mina and stuck a finger in his mouth but Mina didn't buy it.

"It's just a stupid monkey Clayton. They are hardly cute! They have diseases!"

Clayton was shocked. "Mina! I thought you loved animals!"

"I do, except for monkeys."

Otto whimpered and shivered, he was afraid and hungry.

"Mina...this little guy isn't disgusting! I know it's gonna sound crazy, but he's a friend of mine! There are five more just like him! I was hoping you'd get to know them....and we could be something more, you know?"

Mina gave another look of disgust, "You're friends with that? Clayton… they're horrible, evil animals. They can't understand you!"

Suddenly an out-of-breath Akihito came in with Otto's siblings around his feet.

"Otto James Neili! You are in so much trouble, young man! Is Otto ok? He isn't hurt is he?"

"Akihito! Thank God you're here! Otto's fine!" Clayton snapped, handing Otto back to Akihito.

"I'm so sorry to the both of you," Akihito began, before turning his attention towards Otto, "Young man, when we get home I am swatting you!" Mina gave another disgusted look and looked at Clayton.

"What the hell is going on here?! Do you know this man, Clayton?!" Mina questioned.

"Mina...this is Akihito Neili. He's an animal philanthropist and an alchemist!" Clayton beamed, hoping to salvage his date.

"This little one is one of my children who is in big trouble," Akihito explained, setting Otto down by Antauri as Mina stood up, embarrassed and pissed-off , "I don't know what's going with the two of you and…and those monkeys, but I don't appreciated this at all, Clayton!

"Mina--"

"Call me once you or your friend here explains what the hell's going on with you, him and those diseased animals."

"I beg your pardon but my children are not diseased!" Akihito said in an icy tone.

"Oh, this coming from a guy who calls monkeys his children! Clayton, this isn't funny and quite frankly, I'm embarrassed. Is this your idea of a prank?!"

"NO! I would never--"

"I'm not going to date a man who is friends with monkeys and PETA members!"

"PETA member?!"

"Goodnight, Clayton. I'll walk myself home." Mina snapped.

"Mina--"

"GOODNIGHT." Mina stated darkly, stomping off red-faced and in tears. The entire bistro just looked at the scene before continuing with their dining experience.

"...Goodnight, Mina." Clayton said, walking away.

Akihito ushered his children with him, Otto making a face before behaving himself.

"I'm sorry Clayton.... Otto ruined your date." Akihito pleaded.

"Ruined would be a compliment." Clayton responded in a detached tone of voice.

"I tried calling you, hoping you would help me find Otto! Tobias said you left the house and that Otto stowed away in your gym bag."

"My gym bag?? That-that doesn't matter! What matters is that my date's ruined, my girlfriend of seven months-which, I remind you, is one of the longest relationships I've had with a woman-is pissed at me and embarrassed to death and most likely thinks I'm the plague."

"That woman called my children diseased! I don't bloody care if she drinks herself to a damn stupor because we hurt her feelings. This isn't grade school."

"Aki, for God Sakes, they're monkeys! Just because I like her doesn't mean you have to condemn her! She just...she just needs time!"

"You don't mean that! You of all people should be ashamed of yourself for saying that! You're the closest thing they've have to a second parent and you know they're not just monkeys! And you're insane if you think I'm going to ever like your beloved Mina or let her near the monkeys. As far as I'm concerned, you're better off without her juvenile behavior."

Clayton continued to walk faster, away from Akihito and the monkeys. He was heart-broken and pissed-off.

Akihito sighed and got the children into the car. "I love you Clayton…I wish you could truly see that…"

He drove off to go home keeping Otto in front because he had been bad.


Clayton didn't come around for a few days. The monkeys were a little sad that Clayton wasn't around.

((Daddy?)) Nova asked him after two long weeks. ((Is Mr. Carrington coming back?))

"I don't know, sweetie. I hope so..." he sighed grooming her.

A knock on the door was heard as last.

Akihito smiled sadly, putting a bow in Nova's fur to make her look cute as Otto came in and sat by himself. Clayton walked in wearing his usual casual attire (a tight t-shirt and jeans). He looked really upset.

"Oh hello, Captain. What can I do for you? Otto, it's time for bed now. You're still grounded."

Clayton placed his hands on his hips, trying to look angry again. "Meet me in the other room, Al. I don't want the monkeys hearing what I have to say."

"All right. Stay here, Monkey Team, and make sure Otto goes to bed, Antauri."

Akihito got up, setting Nova down on the floor with her siblings. He walked to the other room with Clayton.

"Clayton, I didn't know Otto had snuck out, I swear!"

"Oh, you're back to calling me 'Clayton'. Well funny you had no idea, Alchemist."

"There's no need to be flippant. I apologized."

"You didn't mean it."

"…How is Mina?"

"Barely talking to me, thanks to you upstaging me."

"Do you honestly believe I had Otto hide in your gym bag and instruct him to follow you and ruin your date? I can't believe you think I'm that petty."

"You did act that way when I said I wanted you and the monkeys to meet her."

"I know a few tell-tale signs of a bad woman."

"Just because you wound up with a bad one doesn't mean--"

"My former wife was a saint in comparison to your Mina!"

"Oh! Tell me when was the last time YOU slept with a woman, nevermind if you gave a damn about her when and IF you did."

"Fuck. You."

"Don't worry, I'll wait," Clayton spat, ""You know, there's more I want from life than to be some goddamn playboy with a woman every few months! Why can't you understand that?!"

"Then why not me?! Why can't I be what you want and need!?" Akihito retorted, his emotions getting the best of him. Right away, he covered his mouth.

Clayton's eyes widened. "WHAT did you just say?!"

"…N-nothing."

"Oh HELL no; don't give me that, Akihito! Oh, who am I kidding? You're so damn secretive it's a wonder I know anything about you!! I don't even know if we're even friends! Or even partners in fighting crime! You haven't given me a goddamn straight answer in ten years! Why should I think you'd start now?!"

"You want a straight answer?! Fine, here's your fucking straight answer: I love you Clayton!! I always have loved you. Even when you're being the world's biggest ASS right now, I love you! But you've always—and I stress ALWAYS--pushed me away! You've pushed me away for these God-forsaken women! And for what?! They turn out to be either gold-digging tramps or criminals."

Clayton didn't have a comeback for that.

"....Akihito...you're...you're gay?"

"YES!"

"....You gotta be shitting me...ten years of friendship and you wait when my love life is abysmal to tell me! THAT'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME WHEN I AGREED TO BE CAPTAIN SHUGGAZOOM!"

"Well, excuse me! It's rather difficult with children around, Clayton…plus I was embarrassed about loving you!"

"You're just-you're just--ACK! You piss me off so much right now. I came over to get some answers and you've unleashed the Pandora's Box of our thin, THIN relationship. Now that I know you're in love with me, you're not only smug, you're insane!"

" Clayton! I love you more than that gold-digging, anti-monkey slut will ever love you!"

"Shut-up!"

"I love YOU."

"I said shut-up!"

"I love you for who you REALLY are: a kind caring person who the children love! They were worried sick about you, considering you haven't shown your ass around here for almost three weeks! I was worried about you, which is much more than I can say about HER."

"You don't know her!"

"And YOU do?! You've become a completely different person."

"LOVE is supposed to make you want to change!"

"LOVE is supposed to change people, yes, but not to the point where it's making them so WORSE towards the other people that love them! I understand you shunning me, but the monkeys--"

"I don't wanna hear it, Akihito! I'm done with this discussion and I'm done with you! And as for the monkeys...they're but babies now. In a few years, they won't even remember who I am..."

((That's not true!))

Otto popped his head in and had tears in his eyes; he had heard the whole thing and came over to Clayton and chattered, ((It's not true! We would never forget you!))

"Otto…" Akihito sighed.

Clayton looked at the monkey. "....Otto, go back to your siblings. This is between me and your daddy."

Otto chattered again and gave Clayton's leg a hug before scampering off. Clayton fought back tears.

"If you're going to be with that…that BITCH, then go ahead. Just don't show your face around here if you do cause all you'll see is a broken hearted man." Akihito turned and walked off ushering the children to their beds.

"Well fine then! If you want me out of your life, then Captain Shuggazoom's out too!" Clayton shouted, throwing his communication link down and storming out.


Akihito had tears in his eyes as he tucked the children in and then ran off to his bedroom. Otto sniffled, looking towards Antauri's bed.

((Tauri?))

((Mmmm? What's wrong, Otto?)) Antauri asked.

(( I really screwed up didn't I?)) Otto whimpered.

((You can say that again...))

((Mandarin! Otto...Mr. Carrington's just made because he's looking for a mate. He must have thought father was trying to take his potential mate.)) Antauri explained.

((You dummy! Daddy LOVES Clayton!)) Nova huffed.

((And looked what happen! Otto screwed it up for both of them. Nice going, Dumbbell.)) Mandarin chided.

Otto looked like he was about to cry.

*In Shuggazoom*

"I'm so glad you were willing to see me, Mina." Clayton said, walking with Mina in the park.

"You're lucky I still have feelings for you." The woman declared, clinging to his arm.

"You're worth it, Mina." He told her, kissing her.

"…I am?" She gasped after he kissed her.

"Mina…I love you. You're the best thing to ever happen to me!"

"Clayton…"

"I mean it Mina…I love you, and I want you in my life. In both my lives."

"…what are you trying to say?" Mina asked, her eyes widening in shock.

"Mina…I'm…I'm Captain Shuggazoom." Clayton told her with some hesitation.

"…really?" Mina asked.

"Well, yeah….what do you think about that?"
The woman gave him a dark, evil look, "I think the sooner I wrap my arms around you, you'll be no more…"

"…M-Mina?"

The red-head transformed into an evil being," And now that I know that I've been seducing the right man, I can destroy you and finally take over Shuggazoom!"

*In The Forest of Wasted Years*

(( Otto...don't cry.)) Gibson offered.

(( Please? We have to get Clayton to come back!)) Nova added.

(( You can help, Otto! )) Sprx told the upset green cub.

((But how?)) Otto asked.

((I made this tracker and put it one him one day when he wasn't looking. It gives us a look at where he—Oh My God!!)) Gibson gasped, looking at the device in his paws.

(( What's wrong?))

(( SOMEONE'S HURTING HIM!))

Otto was gone in a flash as Sprx ran and got Akihito.

*In Shuggazoom*

Clayton screamed in pain as the evil she-monster continued to fry him with her devastating energy beam. He couldn't believe that Mina had been seducing him in hopes of uncovering his super-hero identify.

"You're mine, Captain Shuggazoom. Sorry if I don't give you a last kiss, Clayton."

She was about to deliver the final blow when—

((Get off of him, you monster!))

Otto attacked biting and clawing at Mina, biting with all his might, screeching loudly even though they couldn't understand him Mina screamed and tried to hack at Otto. Otto growled and bit down on Mina and didn't let go, trying to get her to drop Clayton.

Mina threw Clayton against the wall, slowly turning into dust. Monkey fur was her weakness.

Otto dropped hard and the cracking of ribs was heard but Otto managed to get up and stumble over to Clayton as Akihito drove up.

"Clayton! Otto! Oh god. Monkey Team! Help me get them in the truck! The monkeys grabbed their sibling and Clayton and took them in the truck.


Hours later, Otto recovered, but Clayton was still badly wounded. Akihito sat in a chair half asleep as Otto limped in, he had a couple broken ribs and bruises but that was it, the green monkey climbed up and cuddled up to Clayton. ((Please don't die... Mommy, please don't die...))

Something clicked in Clayton's mind when he heard 'Mommy'. Slowly, he woke up. "...Otto?"

The monkey looked up and chattered, gently nuzzling against his face with his own.

....Thank you, Ottie...I'm so sorry I hurt you."

Otto nuzzled into him more before speaking in English clear as day, "MOMMY!"

Tears came to Clayton's eyes. "...Otto..."

Akihito groaned as he awoke. "Clay? Clayton your awake! Thank the Gods! Why is Otto on your chest?"

"...He called me 'mommy', Akihito. He called me 'mommy' in clear English!"

"Otto? That's impossible. They don't know our language," Akihito said.

"Mommy! Mommy, mommy, mommy!" Otto chanted.

"Dear god... Otto's first human words!"

"I told you so!" Clayton snapped.

Otto smiled and cuddled up to Clayton and looked at Akihito.

"DADDY!" The green monkey said with a giggle.

Clayton sat up with some difficultly. "Ottie...I need to talk to Daddy for a bit, okay? I promise I won't yell at him like the last time."

Otto nodded and gave Clayton a hug and a kiss and scampered off to play with his siblings.

"He called me 'Daddy' in English. Clayton, I--"Akihito began.

"Aki....I didn't mean what I said to you. I just…I just wanted someone I could be with and not have to hide anything from...I just never thought it'd be you. I'm just an asshole...you were….you ARE there for me and I treat you like shit. Some friend I am..."

"Oh hush. I should have told you my feelings from the start. I'm so sorry Clayton... I want you to know that I love you…now and forever."

"Akihito....you deserve better than me."

No.... you're perfect for me Clayton."

Clayton's tears fell. "How can you still love me? I can't be the one for you. I hurt you too many times...."

"You came back and that's what counts for me, Clayton." He smiled and leaned forward and kissed him gently.

Clayton was startled at first but kissed him back. It just felt right at last. "Aki....I love you too...."

Akihito smiled and set his head on Clayton chest gently before spotting a green tail.

"Otto! You little scamp!"

Otto peeked out giving Clayton the thumbs up before scampering off.

"He's gonna be a pervert when he gets older." Clayton laughed, hugging the man.

"No, I believe that is Sprx's job." Akihito laughed. Clayton joined in the laughter before tears fell from his face.

"Clay-kun?" Akihito gasped.

"Aki...I don't care if you're gay. I want to be with you!!" Clayton sobbed.

Akihito held him and dried the tears from his eyes, "I want to be with you too Clayton,"

"I-I love ya, Aki." Clayton said, after calming down.

"I love you too Clayton." Akihito said with a loving smile.

They kissed passionately, holding one another until they fell asleep. The little monkey chibis awed at the sight, their heads sticking out from the door. One-by-one, they left the two humans in the slumber.

Otto was the last monkey to leave, whispering, ((I hope Mommy stays for good this time, now that he knows Daddy and the rest of us loves him…))

He closed the door to the infirmary after him.

THE END

THE END