Jaune's Missing Balls.

Pyrrha roughly shoved Jaune onto the warm embrace of Beacon's quilt beds.

She heaved herself over his quivering body, purring into his ear with a predatory growl.

Jaune gave a weak sort of chuckle in response, feeling his face grow hot and red.

As Pyrrha gently lowered herself onto her best friend, she bit his ear lovingly.

Jaune gave another weird sort of chuckle and murmured " Are you sure of this, Pyrrha?"

Pyrrha licked his face and said "Oh, i don't know. I better do it now, or who knows Beacon may get attacked by an army of Grimm, and i may get engaged in a huge battle up on Professor Ozpin's blown up office with an evil fire queen who just may happen to be named Cinder, where i will fight bravely with the support of millions of fans but to their despair lose in a gruesome and totally pull the rug from under the fans of a show that may be about us without our knowledge." She said nonchalantly with her head cocked.

"Wow," Jaune grinned under her weight, "that's pretty deep."

"Just like you will be in a few minutes" Pyrrha growled, and she started moving her hips.

What happened next was a blur of moans and a flurry of hasty movements.

Pyrrha's nimble hands swept to Jaune's pants and unbuckled his rather ugly belt.

So far, Jaune had been enjoying this way too much, groaning and moaning at Pyrrha's every touch. But he had harboured a deep secret, that no one else knew, a dark and evil curse that infected every generation of the male Arc, infesting itself in their soul, ruining their lives and crushing their hearts into bleeding shells of trash.

And pleasure and surrounded his brain and drove the thought of the Arc curse straight from his mind.

Pyrrha grinned as he slid her tongue across Jaune's quivering face, leaving trails of her delectable spit behind.

But then it happened.

To Jaune, it was almost like in slow motion.

She pulled down his zipper and shredded his jeans off, before hungrily getting rid of his underwear, only to see…

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"HA HA HA HA HA!" Yang Xiao Long chortled with all her might, her beautiful face going red and her arms slamming into the table, her body almost falling off the bench.

Her teammates looked at Jaune and Pyrrha with at least a little more understanding.

Pyrrha said in a disgruntled tone, "It isn't funny, it was bloody scary."

Jaune blushed furiously.

They were at the Beacon cafeteria in the middle of lunch, sitting at a table at the far corner of the gargantuan hall so as to avoid attention.

This was after all, a touchy subject.

"Yeah, Yang? This is a pretty serious matter…" Weiss chided at her blonde teammate.

"Really?" Yang said in a deep, mocking tone, "Well, i guess making fun of it is a ballsy move!"

And with that, she burst back into laughter, tears falling from her eyes.

"So, you just…." Blake murmured, addressing Pyrrha, "pulled off his underwear and saw…"

"Nothing." Pyrrha muttered as Jaune went redder than the reddest ruby. "Absolutely nothing. Just the sausage but no meatballs."

The non-laughing members of team RWBY from then on always regarded Jaune with a sense of disgust.

And the laughing member of team RWBY from then on always gave her best puns on the subject whenever it was brought up.

Pretty much bathed in shame, Jaune didn't dare to look up from his lap. Every one in the table thought of him as a joke.

Even Ruby. Sweet, innocent Ruby hated him.

Wait, really? Jaune wasn't sure, but he needed to find out. With a quick twitch, he swung his eyes up and found the leader of team RWBY.

To his joy, Ruby hardly seemed absorbed in the conversation, opting for a loving munch on a unnaturally large chocolate chip cookie.

She nibbled on the edges of it, and every few seconds gave a little squeak of happiness.

Jaune continued to sneak quick glances at the cookie nibbler, until the oak table shuddered, and flew up a few centimetres from the magically polished tiled floor, smacking him in the teeth.

Yang had risen up, cheeks drenched in tears, face redder than it had ever been before, chest heaving, and gave one last joke.

"Jaune, i've always said this, but now i mean it literally: Jaune Arc…" She gave a little hiccup, and resumed "GROW SOME BALLS!"

She seemingly passed out from ecstasy and crumpled back into her seat, her shoulder knocking with her sister's, who was sitting next to her.

This apparently took Ruby out of her cookie tasting dreamland, and right into the real world again.

Struggling to put together the scraps of information she had heard before, she concluded that Jaune had somehow lost his ball sack.

"Well Jaune, as a well meaning friend, if you want, i could always lend you my ball sack!"

A piercing shriek of laughter could be heard emanating from her sister, who fell to the floor twitching.

Weiss reached out and patted Ruby on the shoulder. "No no you dolt, we're not talking about a sack where you keep balls, we're talking about…" Weiss leaned in and whispered into Ruby's ears " testicles."

The team leader froze like a Windows operating system, and no word could be heard from her until the next hour.

Meanwhile, Blake continued to pound questions out relentlessly.

Shifting her gaze to Jaune, she enquired why he had no balls.

Jaune gave a sigh, and decided to tell the tale that had been told to him by his father, who had been told to by his father, who had been told to by his father, and vice versa.

"When i was little my Dad gave me the reason." He inhaled some more sweet oxygen, and noticed with some satisfaction that every functioning human being at the table was clinging on to his every word. " He said that long, long ago, the Arc family travelled across the world. Of course, this was ages ago, back in the early 22nd century." He took another breath, to his listener's annoyance. " The leader of our family at that time was a great man named Barnabas Arc. He had bedded every woman he had ever seen, with his smooth talk, smooth moves, and smooth silk suits. When he died, he had his way with at least 400 women from at least 6 continents and dozens of states. That's why i am so attractive!"

The rolled eyes of the girls in front of him went undetected.

"Fun fact, he died of a sexually transmitted disease…" Jaune was met with the impatient glares of his audience. Clearing his throat, he got back on track.

"Anyway, Barnabas, or Barney as he better known, was one day travelling the wide and exotic deserts of a long gone land, Mexico. There his brilliant sea grey eyes were greeting with the body of a beautiful woman. Barney went right up to her and said, 'Let's do it on that dune.' The woman smiled and led the way to said dune. But lo and behold, the woman was a witch! She cursed Barney with the worst curse of all!"

Weiss, Blake and Pyrrha each immediately thought they knew what it was.

Weiss cried "Eternal poorness?"

Blake cried " To have all your closest friends become enemies?"

Pyrrha cried " To fight an evil fire queen who just so may happen to be named Cinder, and regardless of the support of a million fans, get stabbed in the leg by a arrow and killed gruesomely and totally pulling the rug from under the fans of a show that just may be based on your life story?"

Everyone else turned to face her, eyebrow curved while Jaune screeched, "What is it with you and that?!"

Pyrrha shrugged, " It could happen."

Jaune cleared his throat once more, "No, the witch took away his ballsack from Barney and cursed him to have children who also had no ballsack, who would magically have more children with no ballsack, who would have-"

"We get it Jaune!" Pyrrha yelled. "So, is there anyway to break the curse?"

Jaune shook his head, making his messy blonde hair swirl.

His friends looked at him with extreme pity. But as they began to leave, Jaune suddenly gave a cry.

"WAIT! There is a way! Legend has it that if we can find that witch, and take her virginity, the curse would be lifted."

Ruby fell backwards onto the floor to join her now drooling sister.

Blake turned to face Jaune. " But to lift the curse, we would need a guy who has balls. Literally."

"Exactly!" Jaune said, but he paused. "Wait, you guys would help me?"

The 3 women roared 'yes' in unison.

Weiss put her long fingers together like she always does when she's thinking. "We just need to find a really dumb guy to bring along with us…"

Pyrrha smiled "I have an idea."

They continued to smile there until noticing the watching eyes of everyone in the hall, forcing them to move to another location.

( Editors Note: Please review, i really just did this for fun and i'd really like to know what you think of it. )