Lost
Who do you really think you would be with out me?
It is not who.
Ah, I see. You hate me for your lack of humanity.
No.
Really, he's wrong. Ever since in turned into him, I could hear him in my head. Sadly, these conversations are becoming common. But, I do hate him, that much is sure. But, as to why I hate him…
No? Then why?
…I…
Well? You must have a good reason. I'm so lovable after all.
Could it be you charming personality?
God, that laugh of his echo's through my brain, and never fails to send chills down my spine. Nothing about that laugh is kind or joyful, it's the kind you'd expect to hear out of an executioner. He is always laughing at me, perhaps he's just waiting for me to fail. I know just as much as he, if I die, he could quite possibly take control of this body…of what ever may be left of me.
You know why you hate me, just say it. I want to see if its possible for my little Shuichi to be real for once.
…
Real? What the hell does that mean? There's no such thing as real for me. Because of him the real me is…
Perhaps, you just need a little motivation.
Motivation?
That dear woman who wears scars because of you. As a child you were quite clumsy.
M-mother?
That damned laugh again. He threatens my mother…and then laughs about it! How can I be a part of that monster?
Do you hate me?
…yes…
You wish to hurt me, yes?
Yes.
Why?
Why? He makes me afraid. My nightmares of his past, and of what he could do if he got control. He makes me angry. Taunting me, pushing me into a madness I have to hide. He tortures me. He could cause the destruction of everything and everyone I've grown to love. He…is me, that's why. I…want to kill him.
Can you though, little one?
I felt my arm draw back and I punched the air in front of me. Sharp pain shot up my arm and I woke back into reality. I stood in my bathroom, before the now shattered mirror. My fist was still in the mirror and the blood had begun pool onto the floor. I stared at my shattered reflection, his laugh still echoing.
Shuichi, are you alright? I thought I herd a crash.
No, I fine mother.
…alright dear.
How many times had I lied to her? Too many, but how could I tell her that her child never really was born? When Youko Kurama took over, the real Shuichi was lost forever. How could I tell her?
