I soon began to notice something rather . . . strange.
More often than naught did Sonic disappear from time to time and went to who-knows-where. At first I assumed it was merely to catch some alone time; as the years went by, things became more hectic and barely did Sonic ever get time to relax. Barely any of us did.
However I realized another anomaly that didn't fit quite right at Freedom HQ: Sally Acorn was often missing as well. Sometimes she'd disappear before Sonic, sometimes after. I didn't follow her either, knowing it was none of my business.
Heh, it appeared that the older I grew, the more I began to mature and today I laugh at how foolish I sometimes acted as that same twelve-year-old child that often followed Sonic everywhere. Some would agree I don't give myself credit, though the way I acted sure did have Sonic stray away from my own appeal. As I had help from various other women older than me – Julie-Su, Bunnie, Rouge, Blaze, etc. – I believe that I may have learned to appeal to Sonic better than before.
Yes, my days as a damsel in distress are over. I sure hope so, at least.
Eventually my curiosity got the better of me and as Sonic began to leave for a certain part of Knothole forest – almost directly after Sally did – I followed after him. My conscious screamed at me to stop and turn back. This is none of your business! Turn back now.
"But I know something's not right. Something is definitely going on."
My mind nearly came to an immediate conclusion, though I shook at the horrible thought. I didn't want it to be the answer, and so I pondered on other reasons: Sonic and Sally were just doing something random and didn't want others to see; they were making plans for something that others shouldn't know of; maybe even they didn't even meet up and they went different ways to different places.
However despite all of those ideas (which were just as reasonable once you think about it), I still had my mind set that they may be together for a rather special reason. After all, recently I'd noticed how they smiled at each other every now and then when it appeared incredibly random to do so and sometimes they acted completely different from what everyone was used to. I don't know if others realized this as well (or if they just felt they needn't ask).
I was soon struck with fear to see that Sonic's blue fur in the green forest began to obscure and I nearly lost him. Oh goodness, would I get lost in this forest, simply because I was snooping around into business that was not my own? That's karma for you, my conscious, still set on turning around, thought in a mocking tone.
I stopped then and decided I would turn and leave.
But then . . . I heard voices not from afar. In fact they were close and I could just see a speck of blue beyond a large, dark brown tree. To my advantage it was large enough to conceal myself as I would just take a look. I promised myself not to tell anybody.
I slowly stepped behind the tree. The voices were garbled and so I couldn't decipher what exactly either were saying; all I could tell was that it was a male and female – no doubt Sonic and Sally.
I turned.
My eyes widened.
And I gasped.
Just meters away from me I watched as the young chipmunk and the hedgehog I loved for as long as I can remember locked lips.
No doubt was it painful. I felt everything quavering as if I could no longer breathe or move or stand or anything. Tears spilled out like rivulets as they continued their embrace, each second feeling like a stab in the chest, right where my heart remained; broken and bleeding, it pounded, almost as if loudly enough for either to hear.
In my fear and anguish I ran. At this time I cared not whether they heard my fleeting feet as I headed for any place to call a haven. Any place to remove this awful nightmare and save my crumbling world. Everything around me appeared to be engulfed in darkness, displaying my emotions; taunting me.
My foot met with a root and I nearly lost my footing. However I stopped there and allowed my body to tremble until falling on my knees, whimpering out loud like a lost puppy searching for its mother. I stopped trying to fight against anything, let the tears fall and soon crouched under the undergrowth in this damned place. No matter where I tried to look, the image of them together appeared over and over again.
You lost. He's not yours. And now you're a pathetic wreck.
I curled into a ball, trying to become as small as possible.
It hurts . . . so much.
Time passed slowly, painfully slowly as I lay there, wide awake with shock still shaking within my body. However it appeared that time sped up after I closed my eyes; once opened, I found myself in the depths of the night, surrounded by a more menacing appearance of the forest. But I didn't care either way. It could rain fireballs for all I cared.
I walked at a steady pace for my small house out near New Mobotropolis. I should consider myself lucky that no one I knew spotted me in such a depressed and emotionally blown state. It would have been completely embarrassing and pathetic. And the thought of Sonic seeing me . . . I tried not to think about it as the door came within sight and I opened it.
I stepped inside, staring at the interior of my abode that appeared dreary as ever. The walls being painted blue (ironically not because of my love for Sonic, but rather the only color left) irked me and I remembered what had happened earlier. I dismissed anything that needed being done and walked to the bedroom, fell onto the bed on my stomach, and just lay there. I tried to forget it and succumb to slumber, but my mind reeled the scene like a movie over and over and over until I began the water-works again into the pillow.
More time passed, whereas my eyes opened to find the light of morning pouring in, as if trying to cheer me up. It did little to no good, though.
However I soon recomposed most of my normal attitude and didn't cry or tremble or anything; however the pain inside sure didn't stop. Nor did the voice.
You'll have to face him sooner or later.
And face him I did, but barely did I survive without nearly breaking down at seeing Sally often near him. Though my depression lessened, bitterness and jealousy began to replace it and my fists shook with the longing to grab the hammer whenever I saw their eyes meet. Whenever confronting her, I wore a mask to hide any discomfort or scorn.
Days passed and things didn't get any better. The disappearing between the two continued and I thought with disgust when I now knew what the two were doing. Some, like Blaze and Shade, began to realize something was up with not only them, but also with me. I knew not if they connected the dots between my bitterness and their disappearances, but right now I could care less. I barely cared about anything, in fact.
To my surprise, Sonic and Sally also realized this. They were the last people I wanted to see, though Sonic's persistence had him asking me what was up every now and then. He was troubled and probably worried, but I asked myself bitterly, "Why should he care?"
Then, the next day I nearly lost it as Sonic came up and admitted to everyone what he and Sally were doing. By doing so he also admitted his affections toward the princess. My composure that I had been building over time suddenly dropped as easily as that day and I quickly ran from the scene.
I ran into my house and into the bedroom once again. I climbed into the bed, covering myself with the sheets as if trying to hide from the world. "It's not fair!" I slammed my fists onto the mattress, suppressing any more tears. What was worth crying over someone whose feelings were not mutual?
You're worthless. You're nothing. You should have realized from the start it was never meant to be. Welcome to reality little girl. The world is better off without you and your childish fantasies with a hero who will never want to be with you. Better yet, it'll do Sonic a favor. No longer will he be pestered by a stubborn and stupid female.
"SHUT UP!" I screamed at nothing.
Then suddenly there was a knock at the door. At first I chose to ignore it, uncaring of whoever it was. Then another knock. I still didn't leave the bed and I wrapped the covers around me, contemplating whether the voice was right or not. Another knock.
"Go away!"
Then a kick and I flinched at hearing the door crash onto the floor. I didn't move, knowing that the person – whoever it may be – was most likely to come into this room and confront me. The door opened, but I didn't bother to look at who it was.
"Hey Amy . . ." My ears perked at the familiar voice. "Um, sorry for your door. I promise to fix that later."
My heart pounded, but I still didn't move. She was here, in my own room. The thought had part of me going crazy with rage, jealousy, hurt, betrayal, bitterness, and other emotions that I nearly lashed out; however I knew much better than that. I didn't do anything, only listened what she had to say.
"I've noticed you've been awfully . . . strange, lately. Is there something wrong?"
I didn't answer. Part of me thought, You very well know what's wrong. However another side knew that Sally was more or less oblivious to what I'd seen, and so I couldn't exactly blame her. My fist, previously clutching the sheets as my negative emotions ran rampant, eased as my tension began to decrease.
"Please answer. Please tell me what's wrong."
"What makes you think something's wrong?" I mentally slapped myself. At first I opened my mouth to reply, but the idea of such embarrassment kept me from revealing anything; instead, I denied it, despite the obviousness. The last person I wanted to tell I was hurting terribly since Sonic was no longer available was Sally Acorn.
There was a small pause, though she continued, "Well, you're always so upbeat and peppy for anything. Even when its darker, you're still a happy aura. And I know you're not like this way anymore considering my jealousy's at a minimum."
"Jealousy?" I pulled the covers down a bit whereas part of my head was exposed and I looked to the other sitting across from me on the mattress. Sally didn't look into my eyes as she nodded.
"Why, I've always been jealous of that. I'm usually falling with the mood of the scene, but you . . . you make things better sometimes. I wish I could do that."
"But you do have the ability to take on any task without fear," I remarked, now sitting upright and taking off most of the sheet. "Sometimes I can't even do that."
"Courage isn't the absence of fear, though. I may mask it, but I'm sometimes really afraid of it."
"Cheerfulness isn't the absence of dullness or doubt either. Sometimes I just be happy so others are." I looked down a bit, and then looked back up. "I suppose me being unhappy isn't exactly helping, huh?"
Sally chuckled a bit. "You might say that. But the only way I can possibly know why is if you tell me. I promise not to get mad or anything."
I was still less than willing to share what was truly on my mind; I wringed the sheets, wondering what I should do next. " . . . you'll laugh."
"No, I won't."
Please, you truly believe that this will make things any better? You'll look ridiculous and pathetic.
The voice seemed to have encouraged me to open my mouth, just to prove it that it was wrong (despite I half-believed it). I began, "It was when you guys left . . . I followed Sonic; I'm sorry for being so nosy, but I was just curious. And then, I came behind a tree and saw you two . . ." My throat choked on the last word.
Though I needn't say any more, seeing as Sally already concluded what the real problem was. Unlike what I thought or what the voice said, Sally didn't laugh or scold or anything; she looked expressionless at first. The eerie silence that took over ate at me as I waited for a response and I feared for the worst.
What would Sally think of me now? What would anyone think of me now? Was the voice right after all and soon everything would fall apart?
"I guess I should have known," she replied.
I paused, contemplating on what I should say in response without giving out the wrong idea. "I guess I should have told someone, on my part." Sally nodded in agreement, most likely to both her statement and mine. Now all that I needed to know what was going to happen next; between Sally and me and Sonic. I had yet to completely get over this, but what could I do? Demand that Sally break up with Sonic when she'd come to my aid in the first place?
As if reading my mind, Sally said, "I hope that these changes won't affect you harshly in the future. I really do love him. But I also know you had affection for him as well; I'm terribly sorry for the pain I caused you." She paused. "But as I said before, I love him, and I want it to stay that way. Maybe, if we try, we can work something out, between you and me . . . So, what do you say?"
Earlier in life I would have detested the idea, but now . . . now I had mixed feelings about it. "I really appreciate your effort, and thanks for cheering me up a bit. But, I don't know."
After that day, it became increasingly awkward to face Sally or Sonic. Most of the time I was speechless and ended up running away from the scene. I never knew it would be so hard to accept something like this; and yet I have to wonder why it was so hard.
Did I truly love that blue blur? My memory dated back to when I was much younger and Sonic came to my rescue from Metal Sonic. That day a warm, fuzzy feeling started and what I thought was love began sprouting out. The times I often pursued him with ecstasy and love seemed so heartfelt at first.
But did I love him?
The more I pondered, the more I wondered whether this "love" was something else. When I was saved, I fell in love; better yet, I fell in love with his heroics, didn't I? Rather than the blue blur himself, but the fact that he took his time for me seemed to have given me a spark of hope that I may find someone out there; after all, I always dreamt of a knight in shining armor at that age, when I actually believed in all of those fairy tales.
Yes, it seems to make sense. His heroic effort to make sure I was safe had me form a crush – a crush that soon turned to obsession the more I tried to pursue any possible way to gain his love so that we may be mutual. There was really no love at all, but just some fangirlish fantasy so that my childhood dream could come true and live happily ever after like how all of those stories ended.
"I . . . I don't love him."
It felt as if a wave washed over suddenly as fierce as a thunderstorm, to then suddenly fade as if my troubles were over. I could have screamed out with joy, had I not needed to get some business done first. Being that I was at my abode at this time, I quickly ran out the door and toward Freedom HQ.
To my delight as I found the forest within sight, Sally was standing right there. The chipmunk didn't notice my presence until I suddenly jumped and wrapped my arms around the girl. Sally stared at me in confusion.
"What are you doing?"
"Oh, Sally, it's so wonderful! I'm completely over this stupid charade and now I'm feeling so happy!" Sally was still confused, though seemed a little relieved.
"You mean between you, me and Sonic?"
"Yes. I don't even care if you're together. I just want to be friends!"
She flashed a smile of delight and hugged back. "That's great to hear. How about we go get ice-cream to celebrate?"
"Sounds like a plan."
You're so deluded. If you think this is the end, you're –
"Go put a sock in it," I whispered to myself. Sally and I walked away from the forest, and I could feel a wave of happiness as the voice slowly faded away into nothing, never to bother me again.
