"We need to bring this thing down. Now!"

The team collectively winced at Brand's voice, its pitch and volume ungodly, as it rattled around in their heads.

"We're working on it," Pufferfish said, her own voice loud and impatient from the stress of the situation. Her position on top of the Next-Door Neighbors Insurance building gave her the perfect vantage point to scope out the immediate threat. Her purple cape fluttered out behind her in the wind and her latex eye mask was making her eyes water. (Latex had never agreed with her.) Gluestick, decked out in an obnoxious shade of light blue spandex, crouched next to her behind the building's massive AC unit, pounding coordinates into a small tablet hooked to his forearm.

"Is this really the best he could do?" Wheezer asked via com. If Ruby had looked up she would have seen the smaller girl buzzing around above their heads, accessorized with some super-powerful inhalers and a luchador mask .

"What did you expect from a toymaker?" Gluestick replied. "The guy was obsessed with classic toys. Like those plastic boxer things that beat each other up when you hit the button? Or old classic talking dolls. Weird stuff."

"So… it's literally just an overgrown toy?" Flinch asked, running laps and evacuation procedures on the crisscrossing city streets below.

"THIS 'OVERGROWN TOY' IS DESTROYING DOWNTOWN ARLINGTON!" Brand screeched, causing the kids to jump. "PLEASE MAKE FUN OF IT AFTER YOU DESTROY IT!"

A sudden crunch caused the building under Pufferfish's feet to sway uneasily. Cemented securely to the roof, Gluestick reached an arm out to steady her. Then, from around the nearest city block, she saw it.

"Oh my God," Choppers mumbled through the com. Pufferfish didn't remember where she had sent him. At that moment, she didn't really care.

A giant, ten-story robot of shiny red metal molded in the fashion of a retro children's toy was stomping its way towards them.

"This is it?" Pufferfish asked, not sure whether to be intimidated or confused. "This is… all he could think of? This is pathetic!"


"This is it? Really?" Ruby Peet asked, crossing her legs daintily one over the other as the world lurched awkwardly around her. "This is all you could think of? Kind of pathetic."

"SHUT UP!" Heathcliff roared over the constant crash and boom of the engines. He had swung around in his pilot's chair to send her an icy glare. "I am NOT in the mood for your sass right now!"

Ruby raised her eyebrows in mock surprise and mimed zipping her mouth shut. Heathcliff made a very displeased noise and turned back to face the viewfinder of his robot.

Outside, the street crunched and the windows cracked. People ran shrieking between the robot's giant feet, and cars swerved into parking garages and alleys to avoid their destruction. Zipping above the city in a pair of yet-to-be-safely-tested rocket boots was a dashing young man in a cape, a mask, and a set of the most overcomplicated braces you had ever seen, trying his best to control traffic and whisk baby carriages out of the way of their impending doom.

"PLEASE TRY AND REMAIN CALM!" he shouted, his voice amplified by the shiny megaphone his braces and rushed together to create in front of him. "BRACEFACE HAS THE SITUATION UNDER CONTROL!"

"Control this!" Heathcliff spat, and with a jerk of a joystick in front of him one of the robot's giant metal fists shot forward and slammed into the young man's body. He was thrown out of view almost too fast to see. The screaming on street level hit a crescendo and Heathcliff laughed in what he probably thought was a maniacal fashion. To Ruby, it sounded more like he had been watching Comedy Central for too long and was mentally numb to the point where everything was funny and resulted in hysterical laughter.

"Did you see that?" he gasped to his viewfinder. He swung around, his hands fisted into his hair in sheer chaotic excitement. "DID YOU SEE THAT? I sent him flying! Pchooooooo!" He imitated the noise of a rocket and mimed his hand flying through the air, punctuating it with a great slap to his other hand and then miming an explosion. After a moment he settled and reclined easily in his chair. "Impressive?" he asked, raising a dubious eyebrow. Ruby smiled at him pityingly, the way a parent smiles at a child who feels like they've created the Mona Lisa when all they've done is scrape some boogers onto a piece of paper.

Heathcliff's smile fell and his eyes grew steely. "Fine," he said, his voice hard. He spun his chair away from her again and went back to having his robot walk clumsily down the road. "I don't know what I was expecting you to get from this, anyway. I need to learn to stop overestimating your intellect."

"You need to learn to grasp the concept of talking to yourself," Ruby shot back. "Because Lord knows I'm not listening."

Heathcliff let out a childish cry and smashed an open palm down on a button on his dashboard. One of the robot's arms shot out in a fist, demolishing a billboard and sending pieces flying down onto the road. Ruby rolled her eyes.

"A temper tantrum? Really?" she asked. "You're so predictable. Try surprising me. Mixing it up." She moved her hand in a circle in the air to illustrate the "mixing." "Feels like you're getting stuck in a rut."

Oops. That was it. Heathcliff shrieked and spun around in his chair so fast he would have done a complete 360 if he hadn't shot a foot out to brake himself against the metal floor. He jumped from his chair and stomped over to where the girl sat easily in her own seat. Ruby raised an eyebrow and offered a smirk. "Getting out of the chair?" she asked, feigning bewilderment. "This is new."

"So is choking you to death," Heathcliff hissed, and Ruby tried to imagine what he would look like with one of those cartoony pulsing veins in his head.

"I'm terrified," she said, egging him on. "Honestly, my heart is pounding like you wouldn't believe. Keep it up."

Heathcliff screamed and lashed a hand out to grab a handful of the front of Ruby's blouse. "Do that again," he hissed, spittle flying from his mouth and landing in tiny droplets on Ruby's glasses. "Do that again, and I'll get to tell you to do something horrible." Ruby cast a glance at the pair of oversized teeth in his mouth and looked back up to meet eyes with him. Heathcliff raised an eyebrow. "What?" he asked. "You've got something else to say?" He tightened his grip on her blouse. "Go on," he dared. "Make another joke."

Ruby smirked.

"Knock knock," she said.

Heathcliff didn't even get a chance to react before the sound of shattering glass filled the cabin of the robot and Heathcliff was wrenched off of Ruby from behind. The blond settled back in her seat to see Braceface – glass in his hair and rips in his mask – holding Heathcliff by the back of his over-the-top spandex bodysuit.

"Threatening the lady might be a bit much, don't you think, Übermind?" Braceface taunted. Ruby sighed when she realized that she could hear his voice echoing around outside the robot. The goober had hooked up microphones, ensuring that his adoring public heard his voice.

"I am no longer Übermind!" Heathcliff roared, trying desperately to detach himself from Braceface's grip. "I am Brainsurge!"

"Much more threatening," Ruby mumbled, wincing at the sound of her echoing voice and the chuckles of the gathered crowd below.

"You know how I feel about violence in my city," Braceface said, injecting as much obnoxious confidence into his voice as he could squeeze out of the surrounding air. "It looks like our local law enforcement is going to have to teach you a lesson!"

Heathcliff looked up at Braceface miserably. "Padded cell?" he whimpered, despondent.

Braceface nodded, grinning, but upon remembering that his public couldn't hear him he added, "What do you think?"

Ruby watched Braceface hoist Heathcliff – er – Brainsurge, off his feet. (Strength-infused body armor under the costume?) With an effortless shrug, the young hero tossed the skinny villain through the shattered viewfinder. He dropped out of view, shrieking, and Ruby gasped and leapt to her feet, diving across the robot's cockpit to watch him fall gently onto a giant, overinflated balloon, set up neatly at the robot's destructive feet.

She whipped around and stepped towards Braceface, laying a hand over the microphone he had attached to his suit. "I have so many problems with how you handled this," she hissed.

He shrugged. "Write a story, anchorwoman," he said. "But in the meantime, put on a smile. The public is waiting." He held his arms out to her expectantly.

She groaned and rolled her eyes before wrapped her arms around his neck and pulling herself into his arms. She buried her face against his shoulder until her allergy to the costume materials began acting up and her eyes began to water. She lifted her head marginally and felt the cool air hit her face as Braceface lowered the power of his rocket boots and he began his slow, heroic decent to the city streets below.

A raucous round of applause greeted them as they touched down. Ruby gave all of them her best rescued-damsel smile; tearful and innocent, with all the fake courage she could muster. She gave Braceface one last affectionate squeeze for good measure before he let her down beside him on the street. She pretended to be frail and leaned heavily against him as if she didn't have the strength to stand.

Immediately reporters from networks that weren't her own came rushing forward, shouting questions at Braceface and Ruby, who was still pretending to be woozy until her network director came rushing up with a blanket and took her, but not without giving Braceface the most appreciative, grateful smile on the planet. Braceface was kind enough to give him a nod before he got to answering all of the questions thrown his way.

Ruby's director pulled her away to the news van, where the cameraman was hoisting the heavy camera onto his shoulder. "Get off of me," Ruby ordered, shoving her director away and grabbing her microphone from the back of the van. "I'm fine, I'm fine, let's just get this on the air." She took her position, framing the hero perfectly behind her and began a spur-of-the-moment speech when her cameraman gave her a thumbs-up.


Heathcliff watched the girl's face, which had changed from fearful to professional so quickly, light up the massive screen embedded in the wall of his padded cell. Her ponytail was curled and tossed over one shoulder. Her makeup still looked flawless. Her eyes were strong and she spoke every word with confidence. It was no wonder he still watched all of her broadcasts, no matter how much he hated her. (The strait-jacket and lack of remote control also helped.)

"And once again, we have none other than Braceface to thank for the defeat of Übermind," Ruby said. Heathcliff wasn't even angry enough to yell a correction at the television. "Yet, we here at Studio Six are left wondering. Today's scheme is eerily reminiscent to one he and the rest of the NERDS team faced years ago, belonging to a relevant supervillain of the time called The Toymaker. Could Übermind be losing his touch?"

"In your dreams!" Heathcliff barked, though speaking was difficult thanks to the plastic retainer-like object they had forced over his powerful teeth to stop him from hypnotizing any guards.

"I suppose for now we can only wonder," Ruby said, and Heathcliff narrowed his eyes as he saw Braceface begin to approach her from behind. "But Arlington and the rest of the world can sleep soundly tonight, knowing that we have a hero like Braceface on our side." Braceface leaned down into frame, catching Ruby off-guard. She jumped, but then laughed and gave the hero a chaste kiss on the cheek. Heathcliff felt his face burning and he wretched loudly before rolling out of his sitting position and away from the TV.

He laid there for a long time, and when the TV ceased making noise he thought nothing of it. He tried to sleep, but his restless mind wouldn't let him. He had finally resigned himself to a night of staring blankly at padded walls when an ear-shattering crash sounded outside of his cell. He forced himself back into a sitting position.

"Hello?" he called. The scream of a terrified guard answered him, and then a stunned silence.

Using the wall for leverage, he forced himself onto his feet and gave his cell's door a careful kick.

Nothing.

And then the wall exploded.

Heathcliff shrieked as he was thrown backwards against the opposite wall and landed in a pile of rubble and fraying cushion. He felt a cut in his forehead and he blinked away the skinny stream of blood as he squinted into the overly-bright hallway at his assailant.

Standing in the light was a tall, beautiful silhouette. A woman with curves in all the right places, wearing a black spandex body suit and a pair of heeled boots. Taking careful, measured steps, she walked into Heathcliff's cell. The boy stared up at her, intimidated and possibly in love.

"Hello," she said, and her voice was like sweet music. She got down on her knees and took his chin gently in her hand, her thumb wiping away some of the grime on his face.

"H-hey," he managed. Wow.

The woman giggled and stared down at him. She wore a mask and a voice modifier, but even so she was lovely.

"My name is Miss Information," she said, using the hand that wasn't holding up Heathcliff's face to brush the rubble from his red hair. "I have a proposition for you, Mr. Hodges."