Jade's P.O.V
"Beck, what's going on? I really don't understand why you haven't returned my calls, or my texts, or even my messages on The Slap. What did I do this time? Why am I never good enough for you? You wonder why I always get crabby with you, and you pretend you're the innocent one and the 'victim', but you're not! So just. Call me back when you get the fucking chance. If you're going to ignore me, at least give me a decent reason as to why you're going to do that," I sigh and quietly add an 'I love you' to the end of the message before the voice mail runs out.
It really bugs me when he treats me like this! He can do it for weeks on end, avoiding me at school, not answering any of my messages or calls. I understand I'm not exactly the best girlfriend in the world, but nobody is perfect. (Though I am pretty close to being perfect, aren't I?) when he makes mistakes I usually just blow it off or blow up entirely. But I never ignore him like… this.
I thought for a moment we were actually starting to make it work. After visiting the counsellor about the arguments we were getting in (which actually ended up getting pretty physical), we decided that we would try and work together to make our relationship work. And it pains me now to think that he doesn't want to do this anymore and that he's just given up. Given up on me. Given up on us. Everything I've ever dreamed of was just being thrown away and not by me, but by him.
I look at the time and realize I have about an hour and a half before my mother leaves for work. My mother and I aren't on good terms, so we mostly avoid each other whenever we can, which means I have plenty of time to quickly head to Beck's house to see if he's home and finally confront him, face-to-face about all of this.
I sling my messenger bag over my shoulder and start to head up the main hill. I call it the main hill because it's the biggest motherfucking hill I've ever had to walk up, and it just so happens that most of the friendship group live in that direction; myself, Beck, Andre, Cat, Robbie, and dare I mention her, Tori. So I guess this is why everyone enjoys driving to and from school so much. But without Beck, I don't have a ride (at least not during the day anyway), and there's no way in hell I'd take up Tori's offer to go with her and Trina. I don't like Tori, but her sister? Her sister is a million times worse.
It takes about half an hour to climb up the hill. But after three weeks of having to walk myself home I guess it wasn't so much of a problem anymore. It actually seemed quicker today. I suppose I was too busy thinking about what I was going to say to Beck when he opened the door. In my head I pictured him shirtless and his hair messy, like I'd just woken him up after he had fallen asleep on the couch watching The Scissoring on his large flat screen TV, wishing I was there to hug him during the scary parts. (Of course it would've been him who was scared, not I. Nothing scares Jade West.)
I turn down his street and look at the big houses. Beck and Cat, being the only people who have ever stayed at or even seen my house, know I don't have the luxuries of living in such a nice, almost mansion-like home. Just an average house was all my mother and father could afford, with my mother working two jobs and my father working one. But it's a home and that's all that matters. Mansions are totally overrated anyway.
I half skip up his driveway and try to act like I'm more excited to see him than I actually am. I press the doorbell three times and I hear it chime, all too happily. The happiness makes me sick. If this house were mine, I'd have a Halloween themed doorbell, probably something like screaming and maniacal laughter and creepy music, some sort of compilation like that.
I hear a giggling laughter from inside the door. Something too high pitched to be Beck or even Beck's mother. When Beck opens the door, I see a tan brunette girl (in her UNDERWEAR) disappear into the next room, away from my sight. Beck is looking at me with an unamused, almost frustrated look on his face. He looks tired and bothered. His jeans have been lazily pulled up, button undone and all.
"Beck, who was-" I begin.
"Jade, I'm really busy right now, I need you to go home," Beck says, staring at me with a terrible look in his eye. It hurts my chest and I don't reply as I look him dead in the eye, "Jade, I'm doing homework, I can't afford to fail. Please, go home."
"Beck, who the FUCK is that girl?!" I scream at him, motioning inside the door.
"Jade, are you feeling alright?" Beck asks, trying to place a hand on my forehead.
I dodge his hand and take a step back, "Don't fucking touch me! I don't want to know where on that girls body those hands have been! You're an asshole Beck! Of all the things you could've done to me, it was this! The worst thing you could've done to me! You're a liar!"
I feel hot tears stream down my face as I punch my fist into his bare chest. His skin is so warm and there's nothing I want more than to be curled up next to him watching my favourite scary movie. But I can't. Not anymore. Not now, not later, not ever again.
Before I met Beck I barely knew how to trust anybody. All throughout my childhood I've been lied to and stabbed in the back so many times it's almost impossible for me to let anybody through the walls that I've built around myself as a defence mechanism. But he did it. He got through. He's a Trojan horse that's gotten inside and now he's ambushing the place, with me as his number one target. And I get the feeling that I'll never be able to trust again.
"You know how hard it is for me to trust people. I thought. I just…" I can't even find the right words to say. I'm so hurt and so broken. It feels like I'm just being torn apart at the seams. And what's worse is he's been caught in the act and he's not admitting it! He's lying to my face when even I know the truth, "I'm gone. We're done."
A/N - I guess I've been meaning to write a Victorious fan fiction... but I was finding it really hard to find unique ideas rattling inside my brain that could make an actual story and not either a stereotypical crappy story of mine, or a stereotypical adorable and fluffy one shit. I mean shot. No I don't.
I really need opinions on this story because I want to know whether or not it's worth continuing and if people are interested. I'd especially like feedback on what I could improve on and stuff.
Thanks for reading! xoxo
