A/N: Hello lovely reader! I'm glad you found your way to this story. It's my first English one, therefore I would be glad if you would tell me what you think about it, especially because English is not my first language.
Summary (a little longer Because of the limit before): Naruto Uzumaki, a married man and father of three children, is an adult who is liked by friends and beloved by his family.
But the happy man is carrying a dark, painful memory in his soul which influenced his whole life.
He visits a grave which belongs to the person he loved the most and remembers the happiest and still worst year he passed;
When he was a 17-year-old youth he moved - along with his friend Gaara - into a new town. The orphan had problems at school right from the beginning.
But the far worst was that he attended the class with the most stuck-up guy he had ever seen: Sasuke, the bastard, Uchiha.
Naruto was annoyed by him from the first day on and he took every chance to needle the bastard. One day, however, Naruto got the idea that Sasuke was addicted to drugs, just like Gaara, and he faced him with his thesis on Halloween night.
Anyway, here a few more WARNINGS: Character Death, Violence, Drugs, Bloodflow, Angst, Religion, Grand People Sadist. If you're still here, enjoy the prologue, please... ... ... (kukuku)
A man knelt in front of a small altar with a wooden cross, his hands folded and the head bowed. He moved his lips with closed eyes and seemed to be concentrating very hard.
"Amen," he said, crossed his body, and took the small, black cross of his necklace and kissed it before he got up. He stretched his legs and then put on the black jacket. He touched the bags. "Mobile phone. Okay. ... Keys. Okay. ..." he whispered to himself while he left the small room and went over to the living room. He looked to the wall clock and sighed. The man put on a gentle smile and asked a small, maybe two-year-old boy, who was playing with building blocks, "Hey Sasu. Where is mommy?" The little, black-haired boy got a big grin and pointed enthusiastically to the door where the man was standing.
"Kit! Kit!!" he answered and the man grinned back.
"Thanks! And what are you building?"
"Catle!! Big catle!!!" the boy shouted with joy and put some blocks on top of each other.
"Ah, a big castle? Very nice," the adult said and went over to the other side of the house to a big, white room. He smelled cookies and licked his lips. That was definitely the smell of tasty cookies with chocolate.
He walked to the kitchen door and looked inside. A black-haired beauty was standing in front of the oven and a blond, maybe six or seven-year-old girl was dropping melted chocolate over some fresh cookies. The woman leaned up to open the oven and take out another baking tray, but the man jumped to her and took the sheet for her. "You know what the doctor said! No heavy things for you!" he complained and put the hot sheet on the stove.
The raven rolled her eyes and smiled. "Right, a baking tray with allthese cookies is as heavy as a rock. Sometimes you are even too worried, Naruto." The man sighed, put his hands on the womans' hips and pulled her closer. He looked down to her, just at the small bump on her stomach.
"Hinata, but-" he started but was interrupt.
"No `but Hinata´. I have already born two, so I think I'm an expert on knowing how to behave. And there is still some time left before I can't even carry a little baking tray." Her bright eyes were directed on the blond man and he bowed his head helplessly.
"I know you're right. But it's exciting every single time. And I calmed down! Remember the time you were pregnant first?" he joked and chuckled as Hinata closed her eyes, stressed.
"I think you should leave before you drive yourself crazy over nothing again," she said and turned around. She picked up a colourful little bag and gave it to the man. He smiled and held it in one hand, so that he could hug his wife and give her a kiss on the lips.
He informed worriedly, "If anything is wrong, call and I'll be back in no time." Hinata nodded and he let her go with a smile. Then he went over to the table and kneeled next to the chair the girl was sitting on. "Can I ask you a favor, princess?"
The blond girl turned her head and grinned. "Of course daddy!"
He looked around, moved his head fore ward and whispered in her ear, "Could you look after mommy and Sasu-Chan?" The blond nodded and smiled happily. She was so proud when her father gave her a job! Said man rustled the girl's hair and grinned. "That's my girl. Thank you so much!" He got up again and waved to the woman. "I'll be back soon. See ya!" he called and went through the door. Hinata shook her head and held the car-keys in her hand, so that her clumsy husband could take it easily. The man just ran back, looked around quickly, took the keys, kissed his wife on the cheek and gasped, "Thanks honey. See ya."
Naruto was driving the car for almost five hours and the nearer he got to his destination the more he became sad. He listened to the CD he put in the player. That was the most sad song he knew... His song... theirsong. He remembered the buzzing bass of the boxes that night, and how they got lower and lower. He breathed deeply and concentrated on the street. He was almost there and after another half hour he parked his car on a small space between the street and the forest. He locked the door, headed deeper into the forest and ate some of the cookies Hinata had given him. He pressed his lips together and gasped. The cookies were salty. It seemed a little blond girl messed up things in the kitchen. Naruto smiled softly. That was just typical for his daughter. He walked further, looked around and stopped when he saw what he was looking for.
He went over to the little cross made out of rock. Weeds grew over it, hiding the grey material under a shrub of leaves and green. The blond walked to the cross, knelt down and released it from some of the leaves, so that the fine handiwork could be seen. He knew the signs on the rock, he had the model on a necklace around his neck. He remembered how proud the former owner was, how long he had waited and how much he had paid for the small piece of platinum. Naruto looked up in the sky and noticed that it was only afternoon. The others would take some time to arrive. He sighed, sat down next to the cross and wrapped his arms around his legs. "Sorry that I came just for the anniversary. Hinata is pregnant again and the kids were ill."
He laughed quietly and sadly. "It's strange. Every time I look on Sasu-chans' back I think I see you in front of me. Maybe you were reborn after all? As my own son? Wouldn't that be funny?" He sighed and laid back a bit, so that he felt the cold, wet rock on his back. He closed his eyes and whispered, "I miss you... I miss you so much..." He opened his eyes again, showing shining sea-blue and continued. "I began giving back some of what Hinata gives me. But I don't think I can pay back all of it. It's almost..." He stopped and thought again before he ended. "... It's almost the same affection we had for each other. Almost the same love we felt for each other." He hit the rock softly and chuckled. "But only almost, so don't get jealous!" He became sad again, turned around and rested his head on the cold grey.
A single tear rolled from his cheek and he whispered despairing "Why did you leave me, bastard...?!"
