Disclaimer: The Rat Patrol is not my property. They come out to play sometimes, then I send them home.

Author's note: Way back in October of 1981, when I married my one and only, the "best man" and his cronies put popcorn in our old SAAB during the reception. It was EVERYWHERE! Seats, glovebox, even in the engine! We were on the freeway, on our way to the airport to go on our honeymoon, when it started to pop in the engine compartment. Then it started to burn. Yuck! We were still finding popcorn in that car when we sold it several years later.

Popped

By Suzie2b

Boredom was a dangerous issue during the war. It's always hurry up and wait. But you certainly didn't want to tell your superiors that you had nothing to do unless you really wanted them to find something for you to do.

Hitch and Tully were sitting on the steps outside of headquarters in Ras Tanura. Troy and Moffitt had been in meetings with General Handcock, Major Gleason, and Captain Boggs for three days working out their next assignment. The privates knew the mission would be finalized soon, but in the meantime they were on their own.

Troy had warned them to stay out of trouble. However, Charley was out of town and Hitch was between girlfriends again. The last time Hitch and Tully got bored they got into a major amount of trouble when they accidently soaked Major Gleason during their water wars. They'd been lucky not to get thrown in jail.

Captain Parker, who was known for giving the worst jobs he could find to any man who wasn't busy, happened by and saw the privates looking too idle for his taste. The captain said gruffly, "Do you men need me to find you something to do?"

Hitch and Tully quickly got to their feet and saluted, saying in unison, "No, sir!" Then Hitch said, "We're waiting for Sergeants Troy and Moffitt to get finished in a meeting, sir."

Parker eyed the two suspiciously. "I see. And how long is this meeting supposed to take?"

"Unsure, sir."

"If you two have nothing better to do then sit around waiting, I can certainly…"

Tully said quickly, "That's okay, sir. There's some chores we can be doing."

Captain Parker said, "All right … but the next time I see either of you, you'd better be busy."

The privates saluted and said, "Yes, sir." Then headed off to do their "chores."

As they walked away, Hitch and Tully glanced over their shoulders to see the captain going up the stairs towards headquarters. Hitch said, "Whew! That was close."

Tully smiled. "Yeah. I really don't want to spend the afternoon scrubbin' trash cans or whatever nasty duty he'd give us."

"What're we gonna do then? We've checked the jeeps over with fine-toothed combs and restocked them. My quarters are cleaner than they've been in a month. What about you?"

Tully sighed. "Charley made sure the apartment was cleaned up before she left. And there's no laundry needin' to be taken care of right now."

Hitch said, "One thing's for sure. We have to stay out of Captain Parker's way."

"We can go to my place and play some cards or the new board game my sisters sent us. It's called Sorry!."

"Yeah, that should pass some time."

As they walked by the mess hall, Hitch and Tully noticed a truck of supplies being unloaded and decided to see what had come in.

Sergeant Alexander was standing there with his clipboard marking off the items as they were being unloaded. Tully smiled and asked, "Anything good being delivered, Cookie?"

The sergeant glanced at the privates with his usual frown. "Same thing that's always delivered."

Bushels labeled "POPCORN" began to appear on the shoulders of the men offloading the truck. Hitch said, "Popcorn? Never seen that come in before."

"It's going to be on the supply list from now on." Cookie shook his head. "The powers that be have decided that the entertainment department around here is a little lacking. They're going to start showing movies a few times a week."

Tully grinned. "Can't have a movie without popcorn."

"So I'm told. Now, with everything else that needs to be done on a daily basis I have to spend time having my guys popping this stuff."

Hitch smiled at the sergeant's sour expression. "Don't forget the butter. Any idea what the movie will be and when?"

Cookie said, "They're starting with 'King Kong' and 'Gone with the Wind'. First one's on Tuesday night. Then the other runs Thursday night. And a double feature on Sunday afternoon. Don't know how often the films will change. I imagine everyone will sick of 'em before new ones get here."

Tully said, "Hope we're here to see at least one of 'em. I never got a chance to see 'King Kong' when it was in the theater back home."

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Hitch and Tully spent the afternoon playing Sorry! and Cribbage. They each won a game of Sorry!, but Hitch had trounced Tully at Cribbage.

That evening the privates sat at their usual table for dinner. When they finished eating, Hitch sipped his coffee and watched Tully pour a packet of yellow powder into his glass of water. He made a face as he said, "How can you drink that stuff?"

Tully stirred the concoction with a spoon and smiled. "I admit it's not as good as the Kool-Aid we got back home, but sometimes I get tired of the alternatives."

"But all they ever have is lemon flavor."

Tully chuckled, knowing his friend's dislike of the fake lemon flavor. "Any plans for tonight?"

Hitch shook his head. "After Nancy broke it off, I think I'd better keep my head down for a while."

"What happened? Get caught again?"

Hitch blushed. "Carla at the base at Gubayl was transferred here. She and Nancy work the same shift at the hospital. When they discovered they both knew me they started talking. That's when Nancy broke things off with me."

Tully smiled. "Must be hard for them to work together."

Hitch snorted, "Heck, they've become best friends." He noticed his friend eyeing the bags of popcorn stacked in one corner of the mess hall. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

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It was 1am. Hitch and Tully walked quickly to the mess hall. Before they went in, Hitch said, "Do you really think this'll work?"

Tully shrugged. "Don't know. I've never tried it before." When they walked in, the mess hall was empty. The two men on duty were in the kitchen cleaning. Tully whispered, "Keep those guys busy while I grab a couple of sacks."

About five minutes later Hitch met up with Tully and took one of the bags of popcorn, then they quickly headed for the motor pool. They had to be careful not to be seen by any of the guards patrolling the streets and took the extra-long way to stay out of sight.

There was no one on duty as Hitch and Tully went to where a convoy was set to leave first thing in the morning. They each started at the opposite end, opening each hood and delivering a healthy dose of popcorn in each truck's engine compartment.

When the bags were empty, they were tossed into a nearby trash barrel. Hitch went off to his quarters and Tully went home to the apartment, both grinning guiltily as they wondered what the results would be.

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The next afternoon Hitch and Tully were called into Captain Boggs' office, where they also met Troy, and Moffitt. They stood before their superiors and saluted the captain as Hitch said, "Privates Hitchcock and Pettigrew reporting as ordered, sir."

Captain Boggs got straight to the point and held up a message as he said, "I got this from our radio operator not too long ago. It's from Captain Parker. Captain Parker is the commander of the convoy that left this morning." Hitch and Tully tried their best to appear as if they had no clue what was going on. "It would seem that somehow popcorn got into the engine compartment of every truck in the convoy. Would you two happen to have an idea how that happened?"

Tully said tentatively, "Why would you think we would know anything about that, sir?"

Captain Boggs sighed. "Because, private, this is just the sort of thing you and Hitchcock would do when you're bored."

Tully swallowed nervously as he and Hitch glanced at each other, then said, "If I'd known Captain Parker was leading the convoy, I never would've suggested it, sir."

Troy took a deep breath and shook his head. Then he smiled slightly and said, "I swear, the next time you two are on your own for more than two days, I'm going to save time and just have you locked up."

Hitch's eyes got big as he asked, "Are we going to the stockade for this, captain?"

Captain Boggs smiled. "No, you're not going to the stockade. According to Captain Parker, when the popcorn started popping it sounded like bullets hitting his truck's hood before realizing the sound was coming from inside the engine compartment. When the hood of the truck was put up, popcorn went flying everywhere."

Tully grinned and said under his breath, "It worked."

"It didn't take long for Captain Parker to discover that every truck was experiencing the same thing. And it didn't help his attitude that his men thought it was funny."

Moffitt smiled. "It must've been quite a sight."

Troy added, "I don't know what's better … the idea of the popcorn popping all over or the look on Captain Parker's face."

Captain Boggs said, "By the time the convoy got to their destination the smell of burning popcorn was on everything—their clothes, the trucks interiors, the supplies. If it was with that convoy, it now smells like burnt popcorn." He paused, then admitted, "It was a harmless prank that only upset one person, and that was Captain Parker. He's demanding I find out who did it so they can be punished."

Tully said, "It was my idea, captain. You don't need to do anything to Hitch."

Hitch said quickly, "I did agree to it, sir. I'm as responsible as Tully."

Boggs chuckled quietly. "I'm going to let this one slide. At least this time it didn't include hosing down Major Gleason. However, I am going to warn you both that the next time you get bored, go read a book or play poker … something, anything, just stop with the pranks."

Tully said, "Yes, sir. We'll try."

Hitch said, "We'll give it our best shot, captain."

Captain Boggs knew it was going to happen again … eventually. "I'm going to tell Captain Parker there's no way to know who's responsible for what happened. But he indicated he has his suspicions. I suggest you both stay out of his way for a while when he returns."

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Stay tuned…