This story is pretty dark and I hope I did the serious subject real justice. Some concerns in the story are problems people really deal with. Self-blame, denial, fear etc... No one's experience is invalid and you all deserve heroes who know how it is and what it takes to get to a better place.
Hugs & Kisses To ALL
(I don't own MARVEL)
Band-Aid Effect
Everyone was in attendance. Tony, Steve, Bruce, Natasha, Clint, and Sam. Movie night had been abandoned. Nobody felt like watching anything. Instead, the topic of discussion turned to Steve's nonexistent love life, which was currently being spurred on by Tony.
"So Cap, ever have a girlfriend?"
"Well…"
"Other than Aunt Peg?" His faced turn an awful shade of pink. It's a well known fact that Steve is very private concerning certain matters.
"So are you still a virgin or…?
Several shouts of "Tony!" could be heard.
"What? It's an honest question. Don't tell me none of you are curious? So Cap, yay or nay?"
"Tony… it's… none of your business!"
There was a general consensus of laughter. Everyone knew Steve wouldn't answer just as much as everyone knew Tony wasn't just going to drop it.
"So you mean to tell me that you're a 70-year-old virgin? That's just sad Cap. Even for you."
The tips of Steve's ears were red and you could tell he wanted to be anywhere other than here.
"I'm not a virgin so cram it Stark!"
This was met with loud whoops and 'I knew you had it in you Steve's.
"I'm sure after the Serum you had your pick of the crop." Tony elbowed Steve as if they were sharing a common secret.
"It was before that." His reply was spoken softly and with no little awkwardness.
"Well Damn. Way to go Cap."
For the most part the conversation was between Tony and Steve until Sam joined in.
"So who was the lucky lady that deflowered our sweet Cap?" This was said with a suggestive wink.
Steve started to get uncomfortable. He was slightly shifting in his seat and playing with the edge of the table.
"She was older."
The guys really got a kick out of that.
"How old was she?" At this point everything was still light hearted.
"Around 30 I think."
"A MILF?" Several groans were heard.
"Stop it Tony! You know he doesn't know what that means. And trust me, you don't want to Steve." This came from Natasha who had been pretty much silent up until then.
"So how old were you? 18? 19?" Steve visibly tensed at Clint's question.
"Uhh… almost 11 if I remember correctly."
You could have heard a pen drop. The mood shifted quickly after that. The only one who still seemed amused was Thor and he didn't understand the Midgardian age system. To him we were all babies.
"Steve-" Bruce was interrupted.
"It's not like that! She was my nurse. Sure it was weird at first, but it got better." He blushed at the last part.
"Steve…" Bruce again.
"No Bruce. Don't look at me like that. You're all looking at me like that. She was just helping me. I was sick all of the time and never got to go outside to play. She was helping me."
"Steve. She…"
He cut Sam off this time. Clint looked sick, Natasha's face was a mask, Tony was looking everywhere but at Cap, and Thor was only now noticing the tension in the room.
"No Sam. It's okay. It's not like she was a guy or anything. Then it would be different."
The room seemed to shrink at that.
"No Steve." This came from Bruce.
"No it wouldn't have. She took advantage of you Steve."
"Stop. Stop it. Nobody was taken advantage of. I liked it." Steve seemed to be battling with himself. He didn't sound very sure anymore.
"Sexual arousal is just a biological thing. It doesn't mean…" This time he cut Natasha a glare.
"It can't be bad if I liked it Nat. I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. I didn't fight her. I was okay with it." Steve was looking around frantically. Desperately trying to get everyone, anyone, to understand.
"I fear I am lost in this matter?" Everyone turned to Thor. No one wanted to be the one to have to explain to him the significance of what was going on. Steve seemed a little relieved that the focus was no longer on him.
Clint took up the cause.
"Steve was underage. He couldn't give consent to anything sexual because he was just a kid. His nurse was an adult and she knew better." He aimed that last part at Steve.
Thor still seemed confused.
"But if he says he liked it. Is it so bad?"
"Physically being aroused doesn't mean you liked being abused. Doesn't mean you liked being manipulated. She was the adult and she was wrong. How can a child consent to that?"
"Nay! You misunderstand shield friends. Before I myself reached the age of majority, I found pleasure in a woman."
The room seemed a little nervous at this. Natasha took over then.
"If you were both close in age it's different. If they were an adult, then that's the problem."
"She was well past my age, but like friend Steve said. It was not bad." Now Thor looked even more confused. He really wanted us to understand that his abuse was okay.
"Thor… you were taken advantage of too."
"It is not so. My father knew." Now shit really hit the fan.
"What do you mean Thor?" Natasha's tone was deceptively calm.
"It was after my first successful training session. Father provided a woman for me. To celebrate my prowess in class." Bruce looked like he was turning green.
"Thor. I want you to listen to me carefully. You Father shouldn't have done that—"
"It's an age old tradition. Once you are able to train you are rewarded with—"
"Stop Thor please."
"Nay. You still misunderstand. I am victim of nothing. I was uncomfortable at first, but that is only because it was my first time. I liked it in the end."
Everyone drew the parallels between Steve and Thor's accounts. Bruce was the next to take up the mantle, and thus far the most successful.
"So when my uncle did that to me it was okay because I got aroused?" Every head turned to Bruce. But he was only focusing on Steve and Thor.
"Of course not! He's a guy!"
"Nay, he's kin!"
Everyone got a sad look on their face and Bruce powered through.
"I know you might have had to tell yourself that, but it is wrong. If no one ever told you it was, it is. I'm telling you now. My uncle wasn't wrong because he's male, or because he's related to me. He's wrong because what he did to me was wrong. He knew I didn't have friends. He knew my dad couldn't care less, and my mom was dead by then. He knew I wouldn't tell my Aunt either. I didn't want to go to a boys' home and she was nice. She reminded me of my mom. He knew that and used it against me. He was wrong. I don't care how gentle he was or what he said after. He was wrong. I'm sorry that happened to you two because you did nothing to deserve that."
Bruce was done. He just kept cleaning his glasses and working on his breathing.
Steve and Thor didn't know what to say. It's clear they were both struggling with this and were merely repeating things that were said to them.
"She was just trying to help," Steve practically screamed, "I don't know why you can't see that. She wanted me to feel better because I was always sick and wasn't allowed outside. She cared."
"Steve. She knew you were lonely and used it to her advantage," Sam really tried to get this across to Steve, "I know things like this have a way of negatively affecting your life, and you two probably don't want to talk about it but-"
"You would think so lowly of me? I am not scarred Son of Wil. I have enjoyed the company of many women!"
"I'm not traumatized Sam. This generation is just more open than I am."
"Did you ever tell your mom?'
"No Bruce. She would have been upset," he quickly continued before they got the wrong idea "because you're not supposed to do that until you're married.
Sam looked near tears.
"Just hear me out okay. You two did nothing wrong. Something bad was done to you. You both said you didn't want it to begin with. That. Is. enough."
"Friend Sam, I didn't refuse her advances."
"I didn't fight either. I participated."
Sam was crying now.
"Steve. Thor. You didn't have to fight back. You didn't have to say no. They knew. They knew."
"Sam—"
"I'm not finished Cap. My dad was killed when I was 7. You know that. My mom had to pick up extra shifts to make ends meet so she was gone a lot. I spent most of my time after school at the local youth center. The guy over it. He took to me real fast. I thought he was just being nice because my dad had just died. I was glad he was around though. He was nice. I liked talking to another guy. It was just me and my mom. He told me to stay after one day. Said he'd drive me home. He did. But he came in with me and gave me some alcohol. He said I was a man and that it was okay. I got a little tipsy and he took my pants off," he was breathing faster as he continued to talk "and he raped me. It didn't feel good. At all. But even if it had. He was still wrong. And just because you became erect doesn't mean you were asking for it or that your experience was any less than mines. He did that about 7 more times. I didn't fight any time. I never said no at any time. But I finally got so scared, I told my mom. He had a good reputation, but my dad did too. He got two years jail and two years probation. He should have gotten more. What those women did were wrong. Thor your dad was wrong too."
Everyone looked at Sam, grateful that he and Bruce were willing to share what happened to them in order to help Thor and Steve.
Sam was done.
"Our experiences are not the same Son of Wil. Yours was filled with violence and agony. Anyone who would force themselves upon a child deserves to meet the sword."
"Fourteen. My maid. I told my mom. She told my dad. He told the authorities. She went to prison. It was all done privately of course. I didn't get aroused. I did start drinking though."
Everyone just looked at Tony to finish. He had a glass of Scotch in his hand and downed it one gulp.
"She knew what she was doing was wrong. She tried to trick me. I told her I was just a kid. She said I was a child prodigy. Smart enough to make my own decisions."
He poured another glass. No one stopped him.
"But she's rotting in some prison and I'm out here saving the world. Something you said Thor. About sleeping with so many women. Believe me I get it, but it doesn't mean you aren't broken. It took Pepper to get me to see that. That's all I have to say. I got the rest out when my parents made me go to therapy."
He polished off his drink. Tony was done.
"Tony… I… it's not the same. I was lucky. You know how it is. I never would have gotten a girl otherwise. I was lucky." Steve was grasping at straws now and Thor looked lost.
"No you weren't." Natasha's voice was clinical. She was holding Clint's hand but nobody cared.
"I was 22. I think. The Red Room didn't keep time so I'm going off of guesses here. When I went with S.H.I.E.L.D. I still had a lot of my old life programmed into me. I didn't know I could say no. I didn't know I could question orders. And I didn't know some things were against the rules. Before S.H.I.E.L.D. I always knew the rules. Knowing the rules kept you alive. Two higher ranking officers. Gave me orders to meet in an unmarked room. Some lame cover story about intel. On my 6th month there. The things is, I knew. I knew what was going to happen and I still went. What I didn't know was that anyone would care, or that they made those orders up. I thought I was being punished. It was the only thing that had made sense to me since I had gotten there. I was being given too many chances. But I just knew they had finally caught up to the rules that I used to live by. So I went. Happy that my I could get my punishment and finally be able to work again. And here's the thing. I could have fought back. I would have been successful too. But I didn't know any better and they read my file and they knew that. So if anybody here didn't fight back and could have, it's me. I finally told Clint. I was glad I was finally punished and was grateful that I would start getting missions now. Clint talked to me, Phil talked to me, and Nick talked to me. We got everything cleared up and those men wont be bothering anyone else."
"But Nat, you're…"
"If you say it's different because I'm female then you're invalidating everyone else's experience in here. And believe me when I say this. Theirs is just as valid. End of discussion."
Natasha was done. Clint picked up the torch.
"I was 17. Probably looked younger though. I had just run away from the circus after Barney… Anyways. I ran from the circus and had no job experience, no nice clothes, and no money. I needed to eat and the only skill I had was archery and I had left my bow and arrow at the circus. I walked down the wrong street and this guy stopped me. Middle aged. Nice suit. Nice car. He had money. I know what he wanted. Anyone with eyes could see I was underfed and homeless. He offered me a room for the night, food, and a few hundred dollars. I went with him and he did whatever he wanted. I didn't feel anything. I was hungry and that was that. It took Fury to explain to me that even though I took the money, he had power over me. I was a kid, he saw my vulnerabilities, and he exploited them. It's the same with you guys. You were kids, you had vulnerabilities, and they were exploited."
Clint was done. He was still holding Nat's hand.
The room was heavy and Steve and Thor had yet to say anything. Everyone was just waiting for the shoe to drop.
Steve started crying silently. Refusing to look anyone in the eye. Thor just had his head in his hands.
"I'm not a victim. I'm a warrior and…" Thor abandoned his thought "I do not understand. Why would Father let this happen if it were so bad? I tried to get out of it before it happened but he assured me I would like it. He wasn't wrong?"
"Society. He probably truly believes it's okay. There a lot of men and women on earth who would agree with him unfortunately. It doesn't make you any less a warrior, or you any less a soldier Steve." This came from Sam who had moved next to Steve to comfort him.
"Loki didn't like it either." Thor's eyes turned red and his voice was huskier. If he was ever going to cry now was the time. It was shocking Thor was always so brash.
"I told him I didn't want to… to… he didn't care enough. Something always felt off about it but, I don't know."
The stayed up the rest of the night comforting each other and sharing tips to help each other out. Steve and Thor weren't completely healed, but the Band-Aid had been ripped off. At least now the healing could begin.
This story is complete but I MIGHT go into more detail with each character in separate chapters or have a chapter where Thor confronts Odin.
