Golden Moon
A Sailor Moon Fanfiction
Chapter One:
Shattering Truth
It was a gorgeous night of elegant waltzes and good times, as if the great wars of the universe never happened. My mother, the Neo Queen Serenity, smiled down on her people with that way she had, something I never really possessed. Beside her was my father, the king of Earth himself; the greatest hypocrite I've ever seen.
This may be shocking coming from me, the princess of the New Millennium and the daughter of the sovereign of love and justice. I must sound much a far cry from the bratty little girl who wanted more than anything to be the lady everyone would love. How short have I fallen from that dream… Even though we have banished all the shadows of our past and have vanquished our demons, we are only human, and have our simple pleasures.
When we are denied the objects of our longing and affection, we become desperate and expert in hiding our ambitions as we pursue them, staining our good names and shrugging off the price as one of life's downsides. It often makes me wonder if we're really the ones that piss off life enough to make her a bitch. My father was the first one to succumb, stealing affection whenever he could from the Keeper of Time, reveling in her charms and her benevolence, never getting as far as first base, but we all must have our ambitions in life. She has had a certain fondness for him for some time; I could tell even from a young age that it was there. She would gaze at him with a longing in her heart that would have killed any other woman with grief and misery. She was gracious in defeat when her Queen married him and kept respectable distance, but leave it to Father to get greedy and yearn for more, spitting in the face of my Grandmother and spurning every promise he made in holy matrimony.
My dear mother was next, sensing the tides shift between them before Father even thought to make his move. She played the blushing bride for everyone to see just for the sake of destiny. She turned a blind eye to her husband's play and even left the couple alone to their own devices a few times. I could see the devastation on her face, but also the recognition that this was long in coming. I could see the time with Fighter rise in her cheeks and bring a certain fire to her eyes she would have reserved for Father. With the consent of her senshi, she ran into the arms of her Starlight and spent many a day in my room, so much so that I would rather sleep in the garden, than have my body desecrated by their sin.
Yes,it was a secret so embedded within the walls of our kingdom; it may as well have been common knowledge, for the staff was well aware and even assisted them in their endeavors. Those whom didn't know would know soon enough and become entangled within a web of lust, ambition, and false love.
It was suffocating.
The other senshi were perfectly fine with the arrangement, as long as it meant the stability of their home and the completion of their mission. All the fighting and suffering they did as champions of love and justice were of far more importance than truth or dignity. When I was born, everything seemed to be set in stone and they practically shoved my mother into the star woman's arms, as if giving her a treat for being a good bitch. The very woman they would threaten and sneer at whenever she was near was now allowed to traipse around nude in my private chambers, as long as Crystal Tokyo was standing with the Earth and Moon were their rulers.
I watch them now as they sit, all smiles, before the greatest lie of them all: my official coronation. All my life I've been preparing for this day, practically reveling in it, until reality reared its ugly head and make me hate everything about my life. I was nothing more than a replacement for a cycle that had no end; a link in the endless circle of Lunar Life. I would reign as Queen of the Moon and raise a brat worse than me. I would die horribly. I would die for a greater cause fighting an evil that would never wane. I was better off dead the day of my birth.
As my mother speaks her words of undying devotion and love for her kingdom, I search her face for truth. She does love her work and her reign as Queen, but the "pureness of heart" and "strength of one" she speaks of is something highly overrated in my eyes and unattainable for any human being. She is still a child in many ways, despite the long years of rearing a daughter and saving the universe. She is still naïve and still unaware that the lowly beings of the world deem her no more than a decorated whore leading a decorated harem with a decorated man no more powerful than the roses he wields. I thought, for a fleeting instant, to plaster a smile on my face, but the thought dies on me when she speaks of my impending marriage.
Helios was a wonderful person to be around, the first passionate love I ever had in my young life. He was there for me during my darkest days and shone with me through my darkest moments; a strong presence any woman would be lucky to have. But, as life and time went by, my affections all but ceased and he became something of a loving grandparent, nothing you really wish to think about when you're sleeping with someone. However subtle, he sensed my change of heart and hasn't spoken to me since, though with my mother as oblivious as ever, I knew that wasn't going to last.
Sighing softly, I turn to face the senshi I could just despise. Mars, Rei Hino, was a bitch on fire if I ever saw one. Granted, she could never top me in steeliness; she holds her own and holds her focus on me like a pet, daring me to so much as step a toe out of line. Serena's guard dog, as I like to call her, knows what it feels like to have a future in jeopardy and will do anything and everything she can to make sure that mine goes off without a hitch as well, or I shall rue the day. Whoever said that being a princess was glamorous was a beautiful liar; something I could attest to.
When my mother's stream of words comes to closure, I don't even entertain it with a clap. My mind is a sea of thoughts and possibilities and roads less travelled. I don't know how I'm going to tell my mother, but it's going to have to be soon, or I may as well not tell at all. I look around, examining the faces of the other senshi. Amy, the group brain, claps enthusiastically, smiling like the Stepford wife she is. Lita also lends her support, not really giving a convincing face that she was actually listening. Mina was chatting up some maid beside her, not giving a damn about much of anything as usual. Rei was glaring at me, admonishing me to show respect for my Queen Mother. The outer senshi were also looking at me with wary eyes, having more an idea of what I was thinking than the others. They knew my secret and even threatened me with exposure a few times, but I was far beyond that. It was then that my mother turned her dazzling smile on me and asked me for a few words. Looking around coldly at the stares I received, I walked calmly over to the podium. Looking out at the people was like looking through a kaleidoscope of happiness; everyone was shining with a dazzling brilliance, yearning to hear what words of young wisdom their future Queen had to share. I smiled at them frostily, though I doubted they could tell through the rose-colored glasses, and opened my mouth to speak. At this stage of my life, millennias of age within a petite sixteen body, I renounced the pigtails of my youth and casted aside the elliptical odangos that marked me as a Child of the Moon. I chose to wear my hair down my back and to grace my body with colors other than white. I wore the darkest of midnights and the lightest of lavenders, anything to escape the structure. I wore darker makeup, but only because it was dramatic and new; also, it pissed off the other scouts, whom were positive it was just a phase. I stood before them now in a dress of pure black with my hair in a long ponytail and loose tendrils. My lips were onyx and my eyes were steely in coal, just the way I wanted them to remember me after this night.
"Dear people of the Silver Moon. You have known me throughout the years as the heir to the throne and the young princess of our beloved Queen. I have seen viscous battles and evil destroy innocence and dreams. I have seen my mentors die time and time again in the quest to aid the Earth and have also seen them on the brink of giving up hope, yet here we are. I cannot say I did not cherish that time as an active member of the Sailor Scouts, but I can say that the times I live in now rip more at my heart than having my life seed taken away. The people I came to know as selfless and self-sacrificing have disgusted me more than I could ever imagine. Every day I see them sneaking around, doing their bidding and putting on a face for the public; it's sickening to me. If I thought for a moment that this is what awaited me at the end of the war, I would have gladly laid down my weapon and be slaughtered. As Princess of the Moon, I will say that I am deeply disappointed and will prove that I am more or less no better. I am pregnant by a boy no one knows and have no intentions of aborting the pregnancy."
If ever a reaction I was hoping to make, this was the one. The crowd gasped, shocked at hearing such news. My mother, the "innocent" flower of the kingdom, swooned while my father was livid. Amara, the one who fought to keep my mother away from Fighter was now snickering to herself, something I more or less figured she would do. Times have changed too much for her to care about such petty things. Michelle wore a more stern face, most likely thinking over the implications of my actions. Trista was already hard at work divining the outcome, though she was most hindered by my father, who was glaring at her viciously. Mina swore outright, wondering aloud what would possess me to get knocked up then squeal on myself. Amy was blushing, shocked that she, with the prized brain, didn't put it all together quick enough. Rei was glaring daggers at me, muttering threats I didn't care to hear. Lita was the only one whom didn't care too much and actually gave me a sympathetic smile, for she knew what I was in for.
Nodding my head, I vacated the podium and made my way to the back hall, a large walkway to the rose garden I frequented as a child. After what I'd done, a few moments of peace and quiet would be all I could gather before they threw me out into the storm again.
"Rini….my sweet Rini…"
I turned to see the one soul I could have done without. He looked at me with the saddest puppy eyes, something my mother unknowingly made me immune to. His soft white hair was disturbed in a way that looked as if he might have been pulling it. His eyes were rimmed with red and his cheeks were stained with tears. His lips bled a little from biting them, but he bit them still, staring at me imploringly.
"Rini……"
"Call me Serena; I'm one step closer to my damnation, so you may as well address me by my damned name."
I breathed in slowly, allowing the air to pass through my lips in and out again.
"It was so plain Helios…..the times I would pull away; I couldn't even bear to have you touch me. Your kisses were repulsive and your attentions were that of a child. Even so, despite all of that, you can never forget a first love or what they mean to you. Forgive me for my lies and deceit; I was the wrong one. I know you will find another worthy of your devotion and kindness, but that one is not me."
I tried to give him a smile, but the notion died before it could properly form. We were on two different journeys for now on. While he stood on the docks at his destination, I drift away on the sea of life, never once looking back on my fate had I stayed, but my fate now that I choose to be happy.
If only for a little while.
The peace was broken when the scouts filled the tiny garden. All eyes were on me, drifting over my middle a little more than I would have liked. My mother was still a basket case of sniffles while my father's face was black with loathing. I lifted my chin and met him gaze for gaze, refusing to back down.
"…..how could you do this to us Rini? Was this not enough for you?"
My mother whined like a child whose lollipop fell into the dirt. It was high and nasally, just as it was when she was a scout-in-training.
"Who is this boy you've been whoring yourself to? Is this the way a Princess of the Moon conducts herself?"
My father's tone was as black as his anger, but as calm as lake waters before a turbulent storm.
"How could you do this to your mother?"
And here is where the storm begins and the torrents of rain begin to fall.
"We can talk around her until our faces are blue, that won't make her any less pregnant. Make her get rid of it and be done with the whole thing." Rei looked me up and down, as if examining a cow ready for slaughter, "She doesn't look to be that far along. We can just tell everyone the shock of repenting caused her to miscarry. Amy, you're the doctor; you do it. Lita and Amara can hold her down while Mina keeps her quiet."
As the scouts contemplated this, I couldn't help but suppress a laugh. As off as it seems to be laughing at something so serious, the idea that I once vowed to triumph over evil and protect love and beauty with these girls is laughable. The most honest, sweetest, hardest-working girls I knew were reduced to this; forcing someone into their mold of "right" and literally hacking at them until the fit is perfect. I could have watched them for a time, but as I came to learn, only fools stood still.
I slipped away quietly and headed for my room, meeting the sympathetic gazes of Amara and Lita, whom were just as exasperated with this display as I was. The journey to my room was not a peaceful one; everyone who heard the news now regarded me with wary eyes, quietly reprimanding me for my indiscretion. I met them all with a cool gaze that dared them to voice their opinions.
When I finally reached my room, I was met with the most beautiful sight in the world.
He was a fair-haired boy with a pale complexion and hawk-like golden eyes that seemed to tear right through your soul. He was leanly built with a presence about him that made you feel blessed. He stood on the opposite of the room, watching every move I made. I refused to go to him, something he would probably like very much, and watched him as well, gold to ruby. When he sensed that I wouldn't submit, he gave an awkward sort of frown. I did want to go to him. I wanted to hold him in my arms and take in his warm essence. I wanted to walk proudly through the halls with him, showing the world that I fear no scrutiny. I wanted to shout out to the mountaintops that he was mine, I was his, and that we had a baby that would be ours. But he was a smarmy bastard that broke my heart every time I saw him; I don't know why I trusted him now, if you could call this feeble hope trust. I guess it is the guise of first love or the bond we made with each other. Whatever the case, I made my choice and plan to see it through, with or without him.
