Just in time.
Happy Super Larxene Day, all.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or anything Square Enix.
Broken Recollections
He told me I was nothing.
When I finally felt like something.
And after all that I'd been through, to be told that my existence meant nothing—how dare he?
And… And how dare I?
How dare I pretend like I could start over again?
How dare I tell them that to have a heart is painful, and then still continue to desire one of my own, even if I could suffer that same pain again?
My own stupidity surprised me. One would think I'd have learned from it by then, but it seemed the only way the lesson would get through to me was if I tackled a glass wall so the shards embedded themselves into my skull. Painful, but then again, the painful things are most effective.
He told me I was nothing.
And I thought to myself,
What am I doing? Is it in my dreadful nature to go looking for pain and loss, to be reminded that there's nothing I have to live for anymore but the depression of others?
The heart is a mysterious thing.
If only because, even though they told me I had no heart, I could still feel that empty hole eating away at my insides, just as before.
Maybe that just meant…
I was never fit to have a heart after all.
And those losers…they would never understand.
But then again, I didn't know.
And I hated not knowing.
And I deserved to rot in the darkest pits of hell, only because I didn't know.
Not knowing is a sin.
I was a loser who hadn't quite figured it out yet that I wasn't meant to exist, that even in this form, I was a fragmented whole of memories and sadness and emptiness.
He didn't tell me I was nothing.
He told me my presence was nothing.
Same thing.
Because if you can't sense me,
Then it just means… I'm not there at all.
Even amongst those that were just like me, shunned from the world,
I hid the surprise, and the curiosity, and that tiny sliver of hope that still remained in my pitiful insides—
—that something would come of this. That in the end, that fear I saw in everyone's eyes would be worthwhile, because I would have a heart.
I would have another chance again.
But it never occurred to me how much I was wasting that chance with every word I said, with every glare I shot towards anyone who would so much as look at me. All my nights were spent alone, and everyone came to believe that I liked it that way.
He told me I was nothing.
And I wanted to cry.
But instead, I left him standing there, green eyes slightly wide in an enticing confusion.
His red hair was like fire.
And when I approached him, I felt the ice, my ice, melting away.
And at first, it hurt.
And I wanted to cry.
Because I was being burned alive.
But instead, the warmth spread,
Until it reached the dark recesses of my heartless abyss of feelings that apparently did not exist, but I could still feel.
And that boy, that pathetic boy who lost his memories only to have them replaced by a witch who everyone was far too fond of, that sad boy who had gained the ill fate of being Keyblade wielder…
He told me I was wrong.
And I was jealous because he cared so much about a girl who had created false memories and turned his life into a lie.
He should have been angry!
He should have broken into a million pieces! He should have disintegrated forever!
But he didn't. And at times, I felt like he looked at me with pity, even when I mocked and deceived him, even when I crushed his heart to dust,
…Even when the dark flames gnarled around my body to consume me.
And I remembered that day again, the first day, when—
The flames that burned so fiercely red drew me towards him.
And he told me I was nothing.
And I wanted so badly not to believe his words.
Because I was sick and tired of believing.
But when my vision blurred and my second life, my second chance, crashed to an end,
I had to believe no longer.
Because
The
Truth
Was
Clear.
He told me I was nothing.
I am nothing.
I honestly don't understand where all that came from. Based off a quote from the KH novels-look it up on the KH wiki for reference.
Happy Larxene Super Day! (Or is it Super Larxene Day?)
May this awesome female character remain a legacy forever.
Also, note; A lot of this piece is fictional, and my take on Larxene from the inside. It was pretty challenging. I had fun doing it as well :)
Additional note; I am working vigorously to update my other stories, so bear with me.
Until next time!
-DestinyCrusader
