The Adventures of (Dum-dada-da!) Captain Obvious!

Don't ask me why, but the Cullen kids are in seventh-grade science.

Based on what I was thinking when my teacher was talking today. Everything Mr McMillen says is a direct quote..

"...because, you see, solids are...well, solid," said Mr. McMillen, holding up a block of clay.

"No freaking duh," Emmett chuckled under his breath. Rosalie was trying not to laugh, Jasper was silently rolling with laughter, Alice was staring at the teacher as if he was mad, and Edward was having trouble keeping a straight face.

"The structure of a bridge made of concrete and metal is such that..."

Emmett doodled a stick man that looked like Mr. McMillen, making him a cave man that hits himself in the head with a stick.

"...I can say truthfully and, I do believe, obviously, that if any one of you were to try to squish a block of concrete together, you would not have much luck in making any difference whatsoever."

The Cullens exchanged the He-Is-An-Oblivious-And-Idiotic-Weakling look.

"Also, you will have found in life that, of course, steel, iron, or any metal does not bend when you try to bend it."

Emmett was now having problems containing himself; he was shaking with silent giggles.

McMillen then proceeded to attempt to squish the clay in his palms—failing miserably.

Alice gliggled audibly.

"...unless, of course, one of you have super-human strength—"

This, of course, was when Emmett cracked.

Along with the rest of his siblings.

They laughed so hard that they fell off of their chairs, and were sent to the office.

"For the love of all that's Holy," Edward gasped, holding onto Rosalie for support, "This guy's name should be Capitain Obvious!"

Emmett froze.

"Oh sweet lord...that's it!" He cried, running off and clapping two coconuts together to make hoofbeats (1).

"What's with him?" Jasper asked.

"I think he has an idea," Rosalie gasped.

"Oh no," Edward moaned. "We're doomed!"

(1) MONTY PYTHON AND THE QUEST FOR THE HOLY GRAIL!

Hola! Been away awhile...grounded, abducted and then forced to jam cajan music by a band of angry mimes, whatever the excuse...

Review? Please?

Wow, I give pathetic a whole new meaning!

Next chapter, Emmett's Idea (Just that much is odd) is revealed.