Fairy Fast Food

The horde of winged fairies closes in on the pack. They snap their gnarled jaws threateningly, venom pooling at the corners of their mouths.

All in all, it isn't looking good for the pack of Beacon Hills.

"What we need now is a miracle," Danny says, poking at a fairy with his lacrosse stick.

"I don't believe in miracles," Lydia sniffs contemptuously. She kicks at a particularly bloody fairy with a sharp stiletto heel.

"That's because you haven't seen Derek naked," Stiles quips.

Derek snorts as he punches a fairy in the face.

"Can we not?" Scott sends a pleading glace towards Stiles, before clawing at the back of a fairy. "I don't want the last thing I hear about to be Derek's dick."

"I'm just saying," Stiles continues. He knocks a smaller fairy over with his baseball bat. "Naked Derek is a fucking revelation. I cried the first time I saw him in all his magical nude glory. Remember, babe?"

Derek grunts in acknowledgement as he gets a hissing fairy into a headlock.

"This sucks," Stiles complains, thumping a fairy on its overly large head. "We're all going to die and I'm never going to get to have sex with Derek again. Plus, I have an extra-large bag of curly fries sitting in my Jeep, just waiting to be eaten. This day is the absolute worst."

Miraculously, all of the fairies suddenly freeze in position.

The largest of the bunch turns to Stiles with a ravenous gleam in his eye.

"You have curly fries," it responds.

Stiles blinks in confusion. "Um, yes," he says.

"Give us your curly fries and we will leave you peacefully," the fairy pledges.

"Dude, no way! That's my dinner," Stiles protests.

Lydia sends him a glare more menacing than a ton of fairies ever could.

"For God's sake, Stiles. Just give them the damn curly fries."

Stiles sighs, feeling extremely put upon.

"Fine," he relents. "Let's get this over with," he motions for the fairies to follow him.

The fairies flutter after him, already drooling at the prospect of the fast food.

Stiles unlocks his Jeep and hands the biggest winged creature his greasy bag.

The fairy clutches the bag tightly and flies off into the night, his troupe following close behind.

"You owe me five dollars and fifty cents," Stiles calls after them.

Derek wraps his arms around his boyfriend's waist.

"How about we just go back to my place and I show you another miracle?"

Scott groans in disgust.

Stiles smiles back at Derek adoringly. "You have the best ideas. Must be why I keep you around."

"I thought that was because if his dick," Danny retorts.

"I'm going home," Scott whines miserably. "You are all the worst."

"You love us," Stiles yells after him. "We make your life complete."

Derek places a soft kiss on the edge of his boyfriend's throat. "Time to go," he says.

Stiles' reply is interrupted by the loud growling of his stomach.

"Can we stop at In-N-Out Burger?" He rubs his stomach hungrily. "A bunch of evil fairies stoles my curly fries."

"You're lucky I find you so cute," Derek sighs.

FIN.