Denial and isolation

She hasn't made any public appearance since Maddie was born three months ago. Bucky keeps asking her, tactfully, when she thinks she'll be ready, but she tells him she doesn't know. She really doesn't know.

She has a daughter. Who is Deacon's. She is married. To someone who isn't Deacon. She's not sure what happened these last 12 months, but it doesn't feel real, it feels like she's living someone else's life.

Anger

Rayna wants to scream every time it happens. Or laugh. Or cry. She isn't sure anymore.

She and Teddy were in the waiting line at the checkout, she was holding Maddie in her arms when the old woman behind them started to make small talk. "She looks so much like you," the woman told a smiling Teddy.

People can say such stupid things.

Maddie's got Deacon's eyes. She's got Deacon's hair color. She smiles Deacon's smile when Rayna sings her A Life That's Good to sleep. She is Deacon's blood.

People can say such stupid things.

Bargaining

She got news of Deacon this morning. He's been in rehab for two months now and according to Coleman, he's doing good. "Better than the last times," Coleman even told her.

That's when the thought started to form in her mind. It was just a vague, stupid idea but by now it has become what's resembling a detailed plan. She could try to talk to Teddy. She could convince him that, if it's going to be different this time when Deacon will get out of rehab, they could maybe, just maybe, tell him about Maddie. Rayna and Teddy would raise her, but Deacon would be part of Maddie's life. He would know.

And maybe, just maybe, she and Deacon could heal and get close again. But she won't say that to Teddy.

Depression

She's got a box full of things; letters, gifts, vinyls, never-finished songs. She put it in the music room when they moved in the house last month, it's one room she supposes Teddy won't visit often. Not that she really cares if he finds it.

This afternoon, Maddie is sitting on her blanket, playing with her bright colored blocks. Rayna is not far, cross-legged on the floor, staring at the box laying in front of her. She hasn't opened it in months, she's quite proud of that. She removes the lid. The first thing she pulls out is a silver bracelet with the word ETERNITY engraved on it. It was a gift from Deacon, a few weeks after he bought the cabin, to match the wooden sign he had installed above the threshold.

She puts the bracelet back, closes the box and cries.

Acceptance

She saw Deacon today. He seemed to be doing good. He told her he was happy for her, that she made the right choice moving on, that she deserves everything happening to her.

She asked him if he still wanted to be part of her band. He said he needed to think about it, but he would like for her to be in his life, in one way or another. If she wanted it too, of course. She answered she couldn't imagine not being in his life.

In one way or another.

"It's the beginning of a new song," he said before they each went back to a home they had never imagined not sharing with the other.