Day 107. I doubted I would ever forget day 107. It was the first day I saw him.

I doubted I would ever forget my relief, my joy. Which was soon overcome by confusion.

"Clarke!" He had yelled, and I had froze in place where I stood, my heart skipping a beat. I knew that voice. And I missed that voice. With my whole heart.

After a moment, I spun around, I locked my ocean blue eyes with dark brown ones. Ones that I pictured every night before I went to sleep. Ones that I closed my eyes and remembered staring into every time I spoke to him on the radio. Ones that I begged I wouldn't forget.

"Bellamy?" I had asked, my throat dry and raw. I hadn't used it yet this morning, I was just heading out to find somewhere to radio him, but here he was. In the flesh.

It was then that I remembered I was on a toxic soaked planet and the only thing keeping me alive what the black blood that flowed through my veins. Something Bellamy didn't have.

How could he be here? How could he possibly be alive on this planet yet, how could he be breathing this air and not falling to his knees as he choked on the radiation.

Yet, there he stood, less than ten feet away from me. My jaw hung open in shock and I cautiously approached him.

"How- Bellamy, how are you here?" I asked, my voice coming out no louder than a whisper. He just stared at me.

"How are you?" He asked, his voice sounded strangely distant, but still the best thing I had ever heard.

"I missed you so much," I say, my voice cracking over my sentence as I reach forward and engulf him in my arms.

At least, I try to.

Yet instead of burying my head in his shoulder and having his familiar scent wash around me as his arms grip onto me like I had only dreamed of for the past 107 days, I almost fall on my face as I walk right through him.

"B- Bellamy?" I ask, feeling the lump at the back of my throat harden as I spin around, trying desperately to find him. Yet, he is nowhere to be found. Like he was never there.

Spoiler alert: he wasn't.

I spend the next week and a half thinking about my experience, trying to forget how lost and broken I felt when he vanished. It was like losing him all over again. I never wanted to feel that way again.

It happened again when I was walking back from a bath at the river, holding my shoes in one hand and my radio in the other. I had decided that I appreciated the feeling of soil beneath my feet much more ever since I found this place. I called it Eden. At least, that's what I referred to it as when I talked to Bellamy. But the soft dirt beats the sharp, hard sand of anywhere else any day.

I smile as a warm breeze blows over me, and place my radio down beside the stump I had started coming to regularly to do these daily calls.

I set up the tiny satellite dish and take a seat bringing the radio to my lips. But just before I can click down on the button to interrupt the static, I see movement in the trees.

At first, I assume it's an animal. But so far, I had only seen vultures and small rodents. Nothing big enough to cause the movement I just saw. So I place the radio down on the stump and slide my boots on, walking slowly and silently toward the bush that had rustled a moment before.

I stop dead when I see Bellamy again. He stands there and offers me a small smile. I frown at his presence, feeling tears well up in my eyes again.

"What are you doing here?" I ask harshly, knowing very well this isn't Bellamy. Also knowing very well I would never speak to the real Bellamy like that.

"Jeez, Princess," He replies, putting his hands up in mock defense. "Who rained on your parade?"

I can't help but to let a small smile cross my features at his remark. He sounded so normal. So real. I feel a tear drip down my face.

"I wish you were really here," I say, as I look down at my boots to wipe away the tear that had slipped down my cheek.

When I look back up, he's gone.

Over the next few months, I start to see 'Bellamy' more and more. By the end of the third month I see him almost every day. But the days I don't, I don't even want to get into that.

I actually forgot to radio call real him one day because I was talking so much with other him. I felt bad about it for a week. It was then that I realized that all of these memories I was making, all of these conversations I was having, I might remember. But he won't.

He's not real.

I tell myself that practically every morning when I wake up, when I step outside my tent and breathe in the scent of the forest deeply, letting it wake me up.

He's not real.

I tell my when I head down to the river, not even bothering to bring my boots anymore.

He's not real.

I tell myself when I see other Bellamy smirking at me from the shore.

"Maybe I should join you!" He calls, as I strip out of my clothes and climb into the chilly water. I laugh at his remark.

"No one's stopping you!" I call back, a large smile plastered on my face.

He fake scoffs at me, grinning widely.

"You just want to see me shirtless!" He says in return, and I scowl at him, rolling my eyes.

"You wish, Princess." I mock the nickname he had once called me, and he fake gasps, covering his heart with his hand. I stick out my tongue at him before continuing to bathe.

He's not real.

"Hey, Bellamy," I greet into the radio, glancing up at the sky. It looks like it might rain. 'Bellamy' is craning his neck upwards too, and I can't help but stare. Everything about him is perfect. I wondered if I would ever see it on the real him again.

"Looks like rain," He mentions, and I shush him before returning to my call.

"It's been 191 days since you guys went up to the ark. I wonder if you're keeping count, too. Oh, who am I kidding, you're probably having too much fun eating Monty's algae." I say, a small chuckle rising from my lips.

"Anyways, I miss you. All of you. But, and don't tell Raven, I miss you the most." I let my eyes drop to the ground, feeling a wave of sadness wash over me.

"I miss your hugs," I say quietly. "I miss your smell, I miss your touch, but mostly, just you. I just miss you." I smile, reminiscing in old moments that me and Bellamy have shared.

"God, this would be so much easier if I knew you were alive." I cast a sideways glance at the grief and loneliness induced hallucination sitting next to me.

"If I knew I was going to see you again," I smile sadly. Then I breathe in deeply and shake my head, clearing my sad thoughts.

"I'll see you guys soon, okay?" I say, knowing I'm not going to receive an answer as I pick up my satellite dish and carry it to the cabin I am staying in. I place it safely indoors, fretting on what could happen if it got rained on.

Bellamy follows me in.

"You okay?" He asks, genuine concern written over his features. Odd, that a look so real could come from something so not.

"Yep," I say, trying to hide my sadness.

"Clarke," He says, and I swear he's really here. He just sounds so... Bellamy.

"I just, what if I never see him again? What if the signal didn't send to the ark in time. What if he's..." My breath hitches in my throat as I leave the unspoken word hanging heavy in the atmosphere.

He just offers a defeated smile, reflecting perfectly on my emotions right now. My face scrunches up as I fight off tears, wishing I could just do one thing right now.

"I wish I could hug you," I say, my voice no louder than a whisper

"Me too, Princess."

He's not real.

. . .

OKAY SO THAT'S CHAPTER ONE! I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS. i will be writing this book AS WELL as the other one that i talked about in my one shots, but i just had this idea and i HAD TO write this. so let me know what you think about this one. please review! your input means a lot to me. love you guys!