Light Oneshots
"They're Not Flashbacks Any More."
Requested by: Ladysunshine6
A/N This is the first of hopefully many oneshots connected to my main story Light (link at the bottom) which I strongly recommend reading first so that you can meet Zara but I think I explain the important things if you just want to jump right in. It's the usual OC travels with the Winchesters deal you all know and love. As this story is in progress, some of these stories might not completely follow what is actually happening by the time I get around to writing that part in Light. Sorry. I kinda want these oneshots to be stress free writing so there may be continuity errors at times. Please don't ask me where everyone is aka Kevin, Bobby, ect. I honestly don't know other than that Balthy is on a special mission at this particular time and Cas is in Purgatory so sometime Season 8? I haven't really thought or written that far yet. I know it's a big jump, but I feel like this was a good place to put this story. Don't worry. I'm going to fill in the blanks as we go! Thanks to Ladysunshine6 for requesting this and helping me revise. I really hope this is what you wanted. To anyone else wanting to send in requests, I will send you a first and final draft before I post it in PM if you want to give feedback.
Trigger alert: Torture, Panic Attack, and Cussing.
"Yeah I'm fine, Dean. I just want to have a little quiet time. Have fun at the bar. Call when you're heading back." Zara hung up the phone and placed it next to her on the desk. The boys were going to relax down at the bar for a while. It had been a trying few days. She sighed and stood up- the sound of the chair scraping against the floor echoed through the empty bunker. It was a little creepy being alone in the bunker but, if she was going to go through with her plan, it would have to be empty. If the boys knew what she was about to do, they would have a conniption- Dean most of all.
It had been months and they were still nowhere closer to figuring out how to get her brother out of Hell. Zara didn't fault them for forgetting about it, they were pretty busy, but she couldn't stop thinking about the fact that every month topside was ten years down below. Her brother was in there for her and it was her responsibility to get him out. She didn't care that what she was about to do was a reckless. Didn't Dean do things like that for Sam all the time?
She had gathered all of the ingredients and had drawn the devil's trap. She would have done this in the dungeon where there was already a trap made but she avoided that room like the plague. People were tortured there. Even going into that room made her have flashbacks to her time with Sean aka her crazy abusive ex husband. She shook her head to clear the already rising panic that came with remembering her time with him. Even months later, she was not over it. She didn't think she ever would be.
Zara let out a slow breath. She was ready. "Crowley, I need to talk to you." She lit the herbs in the bowl and waited tensely. An odd sense of foreboding washed over her just before the Demon King appeared.
Crowley glanced down and cursed at the trap he had been forced to come in. He glared at her. "No Ducky."
"But I haven't even-"
"It's always the same with you. Save my brother. Let him go." He snorted. "You're even worse than Moose and Squirrel sometimes."
Zara turned her back to him. "What... What do you want to let him go? I'll do anything." She whispered.
"I know." Zara shivered. It sounded like he was whispering into her ear but... He was in the devils trap... Wasn't he? She turned back around slowly. He was right in front of her- nose to nose. She tried to step away but he grabbed her arms and hissed into her face. "You need to be more careful when you draw your traps. Do not call me about your brother again. I'm not letting him go. It's a matter of principle. The sooner you get that through that pathetic head of yours, the better off you'll be." He gripped her tighter and she cringed but refused to cry out. "How many times have I told you that? Too many." He looked thoughtful for a second and then smirked devilishly. "Maybe I'll give you an incentive. Every time you me ask about your brother, I will give you one hour with your ex husband- in the flesh."
Zara's blood ran cold. The flashbacks were threatening to overtake her. Her breath hitched. Crowley was gone and she was left alone again. "No. No. No..." She stumbled against the desk- her mind reeling. The phone. Call Dean. Dean always helped her when she was having these issues. Where's the stupid phone? Over there- next to the book on summoning spells. She grabbed it- fumbling to type the password in. Oh why couldn't she have stuck it out and summoned Crowley in the permanent devil's trap? Why? Why? Why? Before Zara could find Dean's number, someone grabbed onto her hair and yanked her head back hard. She yelped.
"Long time no see RaRa." Sean's menacing voice washed over her. She was paralyzed from fear. She had seen freedom for long enough to become accustomed to it and now she was just being dragged back in. Sean let out a low chuckle. "Why don't we play a little game RaRa? I've been dying to hear what you've been doing for the last few months." He dragged her over to one of the library chairs and forced her to sit. Sam's duffel from the hunt was still on the desk beside it and Sean grabbed the rope he always kept there for emergencies. He started to tie her to the chair.
Zara's mind was screaming at her body to react, kick, fight, do SOMETHING, but she couldn't get her muscles to respond. She managed to gasp out, "You're just a flashback. This isn't real. Please God let this not be real."
Sean chuckled and his eyes might have flashed black for half a second. "Oh, RaRa… They're not flashbacks any more." He dug around in Sam's duffel a bit more until he found a hunting knife. "I always wondered what you would have looked like all carved up." Zara's stopped breathing for a second. He never used a knife on her. She dreaded to think of what he might do now. He smirked and put in on the table next to her. "I prefer to use my own hands- more powerful that way."
He slapped her and his class ring left a small graze on her cheekbone. He was just getting started. He punched and kicked and slapped her just as hard as he used to and she couldn't do anything to defend herself. Forty-five minutes later, Zara was barely conscious. Bruises were already forming all over her and her face was more bruise than skin. Her wrists were chaffed and raw from the rope. She had a black eye and a split lip and she was pretty sure her jaw was out of joint. "Why are you doing this? Why do you hate me?" She managed to ask.
He stopped mid punch. "Hate you? There are so many reasons why I hate you but I don't do this because I hate you. I do this because I can." Zara had seen this side of Sean a couple of times- when he would hurt her even though he wasn't drunk and angry. There was a maniacal calmness he had about him that was the most frightening. It was these times when she was the most afraid of him.
"You're a monster." The thought slipped out involuntarily. She hadn't meant to say that out loud and she knew it would be the end of her.
Sean paused for a second. "A what?" She shook her head. "A monster you say? I'll show you a monster." He lunged and put his hands around her neck- squeezing her windpipe. The chair tilted back so that she couldn't get any traction against the ground with her feet. Black dots danced across her vision as she fought for air. Through the haze she could hear a phone ringing. Her eyes widened in recognition. It sounded like Shoot to Thrill by ACDC- that was Dean's ringer.
Sean growled and let go of her- the chair legs slamming back down to the floor. Zara was gasping for breath. "Is this the guy you've been cheating on me with?" Zara coughed. "It is! Isn't it?" Sean roared.
Zara got her breathing back under control a bit. "If I don't answer, he'll know something's up. I always answer my phone."
Sean cursed. "You get on the phone and don't tell him anything alright? Tell him to stay away. I'm not finished yet. I've still got a few minutes before Crowley poofs me back to my place."
Zara nodded weakly and Sean held the phone up to her ear. "Dean?" She croaked- trying to speak normally thorough a crushed windpipe and a broken jaw.
"Zara?" The sound of Dean's voice brought tears to her eyes. It made her feel safer just to hear it. "You okay? You sound sick."
"Oh I'm fine, Dean. Just a little cough." Sean motioned to her. Tell him to go away.
"Did you get the mangoes I asked for?"
"Mangoes? You hate mangoes." Dean said confusedly. Zara was trying her hardest to tell him something was wrong without tipping off Sean. She could hear the crunching of gravel on the other end of the phone. He was right outside the bunker. "Is this some kind of feminine thing?"
Zara sighed. He wasn't getting it. "Yeah, Dean. I'm REALLY craving mangoes right now and I need them." Zara had an idea. "Please, just go back to Pokipsy and get me some mangoes at the store." She hoped she didn't stress Pokipsy too much.
The sound of crunching gravel stopped. "Shit." Dean swore. She could hear Sam ask what was wrong in the background.
"That's right you better get me my mangoes NOW or else you're making dinner this month. I'll see you in a few." Sean grabbed the phone back and placed it on the desk.
"Even I know you hate mangoes." He was eerily calm.
"Like I said, I'm craving them. You know nothing about women's hormones you idiot." She was emboldened with the knowledge that her boys were coming to the rescue.
"It was code. They're coming." He snapped. "Better leave a nice present for them then." He picked up the knife. Dean and Sam barged into the room guns cocked just in time to see Sean stab Zara in the thigh. Nothing but the hilt of the knife was exposed. She screamed out in agony. Sean turned around between the boys and Zara. "Sorry, I was just leaving." Dean saw red. He fired at Sean but he disappeared before the bullet reached him. The hour was up. Instead, it hit Zara in the left shoulder and she screamed again.
"Oh my god." Dean swore when he realized what he had done. "Shit. Shit. Shit." He saw how badly beaten up Zara was even before the knife and the gun. She had passed out from all the pain. Sam dashed over to get the med kit and Dean started untying the ropes. There was so much blood. Had he hit her in the heart? Please no.
Sam came up with the kit and started looking over her wounds. He took the knife out and pressed cloths against her thigh and shoulder. "Dean, we need to take her to the hospital." Dean just stared at the bullet wound he had caused. He promised he would keep her safe. He had failed… again. Sam snapped in front of his face. "Dean, NOW." Dean snapped out of it and picked her up gingerly. They went out and he got in the back of the Impala still cradling her. Sam hopped in the driver's seat and sped off- going well over the speed limit. The hospital was not very close.
Dean smoothed the hair out of Zara's face and was horrified to see the bruises up close. Her eyes fluttered for a second and he stopped. He didn't what her to be conscious to feel all the pain. Her breathing was becoming erratic. "Can you go any faster?"
"No, Dean." Sam snapped. "We're almost there."
The Impala skidded into the hospital roundabout and Dean hopped out with Zara in his arms before Sam had even put it in park. They rushed in and the receptionist gasped at the sight of Zara. "What-"
"Where is the doctor?" Dean growled. "Now!"
Some nurses were already rushing towards them with a gurney. Dean placed her on it and they wheeled her away. Sam and Dean started to follow her but one of the nurses stopped them. "You're not going anywhere near her until you tell us what happened."
Dean was about to push past her but a large police man stepped in his way also. "You need to talk to us." He said firmly.
Sam put a hand on Dean's shoulder and he seemed to calm down a bit. He ground his teeth. "Alright." It took a while to convince the police of their story even though it was largely the truth for once. Halfway through their explanation, a nurse came up to them.
"How is she?" Dean asked worriedly.
"We had to take your friend into emergency surgery to get the bullet out. Her heart stopped and we're trying to restart it and her lung is collapsed… I need to prepare you that she might not make it out of surgery." Both boys were speechless. Zara might not make it. The police man took his leave and the brothers just say in the room in tense silence.
"This is all my fault." Dean whispered. "She might die because of me."
"Hey." Sam looked him full in the face. "It's not your fault. Stop beating yourself up about it."
"Sam." Dean's eyes flashed at him and Sam backed off. "I need to go hit something." He stood up and started to leave.
"More violence isn't going to fix anything." Sam sighed.
Dean stopped with his back to his brother- his head and shoulders hung low. "I know but what good are we going to do here?"
Sam shook his head. "I- I don't know." And so they sat there waiting and waiting and waiting. Dean was about to go stir crazy. He had started pacing about a half hour ago and muttering to himself. He was about to go and threaten some answers out of an orderly but a nurse came in and said to come with her.
By the time the brothers were allowed to go in and see her, she had been moved to a post-op room. The doctors told them that her heart stopped twice during the procedure. They had done their best, but odds were she wouldn't make it through the night.
Sam and Dean took seats on either side of the bed. The heart monitor beeped a steady rhythm into the silence. Dean looked over at Zara again. She looked so small and frail in the big hospital bed. A breathing tube was stuck down her throat. There were bandages all over her body- the biggest one was on her chest- the wound Dean had put there. He covered his face. "I shot her." His voice was so empty. "She would have been okay if I hadn't shot her and now she's dying."
"She's not going to be okay anyway when she wakes up, Dean. Her ex beat the crap out of her. That's going to bring up a lot of memories she doesn't want to remember."
"You heard the doctor! She's not GOING to wake up!"
Sam stood resolutely. "I can't believe you!" Dean looked up at him- bewildered. "We friggin' die and come back like every other year. Don't tell me we're just gonna lie down and accept this!"
Dean snapped out if his little pity party. "Who are we going to call then? Cas is still MIA and-"
"Balthazar." Sam didn't know when he had decided that Balthazar was their best option but he was.
"Balthazar? But he's-" Dean started.
"I know but he's not going to let Zara die."
"You call him. I don't want to talk to him."
"Fine." Sam stood up and went to the window. "Balthazar we need you. Zara's hurt bad. We need-"
The sound of angel wings filled the room. "YOU BLOODY IDIOTS!" They had never seen Balthazar so angry. "I LEAVE FOR A MONTH AND LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" He walked over to Zara and examined her injuries. He got dangerously quiet. "What happened? No wait. I don't want to know what happened." He turned and looked at the brothers. "I just want to know that it won't happen again. Promise me."
"We don't have time for this. She's dying." Dean snapped at him impatiently.
"I said promise me it won't happen again."
"Promise." Dean motioned over at her. "Now heal her."
Balthazar sighed and touched her head tenderly. Her injuries healed instantly and he took the breathing tube out gently. "There you go." He turned back around. "She'll wake up soon. You were lucky I was close. I don't know when I'll be able to come back again. Stay out of trouble… please. Don't start any more Apocalypses until I get back." With that, he was gone.
"Angels." Dean sighed. "She'll be up soon. Gosh she's going to remember everything and I can't help her with it because she's gonna be as afraid of me as she is of her ex. I promised her I wouldn't hurt her and then I shot her, Sam! I freaking shot her!"
Sam glanced around warily. "Keep it down! The nurses will hear. I'll try to help as much as I can but you and her have some sort of weird bond over this kind of thing. I think she's gonna need you now more than ever."
"Dean?" Zara stirred groggily. The yelling was waking her up.
"Yeah, Z. I'm here." Both brothers went to her side. "How are you feeling?"
She groaned. "Like rainbows and lollipops, Muscles."
"What do you remember?" Sam asked.
She shook her head. "I… I don't remember." She giggled. "Keep me away from the vodka bottle when I do though." Zara on pain meds was always an interesting experience. Dean rolled his eyes. Of course Balthazar left the pain meds in her just to spite them. She started doodling in the air with her index finger. She made her hand into a gun shape. "Sounds like this one will be a doosie." She sang and started making gun noises. "Pew. Pew. Pew." Dean looked like he was going to be sick.
Sam shook his head. "I swear, she is the loopiest person on pain meds I have ever met. How can she hold her liquor so well?" He found Zara's clothes piled on the counter and threw them at her.
Dean helped her sit up. "Get dressed Z. We're getting the hell outta dodge."
Zara's face lit up. "Dodge ball? I love that game."
"Yeah princess, we're playing dodge guards. It's basically the same thing." They helped her into her clothes and then into a wheelchair. They started one of many hospital escapes- so practiced that the boys at least could do it perfectly even when they were drunk and/or drugged.
By the time they got back to the bunker, Zara was fast asleep again so they put her in her room. "When do you think the meds will wear off?" Sam asked.
"I'm surprised they haven't already." Dean sighed. "We dodged a bullet at the hospital. Imagine if she started freaking out there." Sam nodded. He was about to say something else but they heard a scream from Zara's room.
"DEAN!" They bolted towards her room but Dean paused at her door.
Sam motioned at him to open the door. "She yelled for you, Dean."
"But I-"
"She wants YOU."
Dean nodded and opened the door cautiously. Zara was curled up in the corner of her bed rocking, tears streaming down her face. Dean went over and sat next to her on the bed and started rubbing her back slowly. She attack hugged him just like she did back at Bobby's months ago when Crowley had kidnapped her. "I remember." She sniveled. "I remember everything… It was so awful."
"Shhhh… It'll be alright." Dean soothed and she started calming down. "I'm here and Gigantor is guarding the door." He smirked. "He's not going to come back. I'm so sorry Zara… for everything."
Zara hiccupped. "It was my fault. I was doing something stupid." She pushed the panic attack away as much as she could. "- Except I didn't deserve to get shot for it." She said sarcastically. Sarcasm seemed to be her main method of keeping the fear at bay.
"I-"
"It's okay, Dean. It was an accident." She trailed off. "Next time though, I'm really going to have to break your legs and you forgot my mangoes, which means you're cooking the whole month long."
Dean nodded and breathed a sigh of relief. Zara was okay. She was going to be okay. "Whatever you say, princess."
A/N Hope you liked it! To those of you who have not read Light and are interested, s/10607068/1/Light
