Disclaimer: I own none of this and I'm not making any money

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Hogwarts is Dangerous, (an inspired title, I know).

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"Headmistress!" exclaimed Mr.Bones, "We really need to talk urgently-"

McGonagall stopped, and turned around. Then she did a double take, the neat and tidy Health and Safety Inspector who had arrived earlier that day now had a rip in his robe, some sort of potion down the front of it, and one blue eyebrow.

She decided not to mention it, "Ah, have you finished your inspection Mister Bones?"

"I have, and I must say that there are some very serious issues that need addressing." Mr.Bones flapped a piece of parchment in the air, as if to prove his point.

"Go on then…" McGonagall started striding down the corridor again, Mr. Bones had to half-run in order to keep up.

"You see, first off, there's the moving staircases. I can only imagine what would happen, if say, a student were to fall down-"

"Presumably they would die a short death," provided Professor Snape, who had been walking by but stopped, seeming to find the topic amusing, "Of course, they would create a mess…however if they're too dim-witted to cast a cushioning charm-"

"An excellent point, Severus. However I reassure you that we have precautions in the unlikely circumstance that a student fell over the stairs." McGonagall said.

Hm, he also had a pigtail, she'd need to talk to the students later. Their transfigurations were excellent.

"Oh, cushioning charms…don't know why I didn't….hm…" mumbled Mr.Bones, scribbling something down. He paused, as if unsure whether he should mention anything else, "I'm afraid that isn't all, Headmistress."

"I did expect more, so go on."

"There's also the lack of railings on the towers, hm, there isn't proper supervision for Quidditch matches or practices, which is also an excessively dangerous sport for such young children, the creatures in the forest are a cause for concern…"

"Here we are," exclaimed McGonagall cheerfully, "Do go up, Mr.Bones."

"Thank you."

McGonagall sat behind her desk, and gestured that Mr.Bones should sit as well.

"To be honest, the students would probably riot if Quidditch was cancelled without something equally fun and dangerous to replace it," mused McGonagall. "If you're really worried about it though, Madam Hooch is the person you need to talk to."

"And the potions classes?" Queried Mr.Bones.

"What about them?"

"They're even more dangerous than Quidditch," Mr.Bones eyes bulged slightly, as if he'd thought that was impossible.

"I'll call Severus," McGonagall smiled as she carefully collected a handful of Floo Powder, wondering what Severus' reaction would be. She didn't think he'd be too happy, if they tried to take Potions off of the curriculum. Or at least cripple his lessons.