AN: I wrote this as a joke for a friend, but I figured that other people might enjoy it, so here you go.
In the land of Imladris, few were fonder of music than Lindir, the chief minstrel, and the Lord Elrond's right-hand elf. Much of his time was spent at his harp producing beautiful melodies, and this was how Lord Elrond's adopted son, Aragorn, found him one particularly sunny afternoon.
Lindir and Aragorn had never been friendly. Indeed, they were closer to enemies than anything. Aragorn spent a great deal of time tormenting the elf for reasons known only to him. Many times Lindir had brought this behavior to the attention of his lord, but Elrond had, thus far, been unable to control the man, despite resorting to some fairly dramatic measures. Aragorn was simply out to get the elf.
Upon spying the elf plucking gently at his harp, Aragorn made his way over to him. "Hello, Lindy." Lindir sighed and hung his head. "What is it this time, Aragorn? Have you come to poke fun at my hair?"
"Oh, no! I would never do such a thing!" Aragorn responded, clutching at his chest in mock horror. "Although, now that you mention it, it does appear as though you may have a few split ends." He reached forward and tugged at a lock of the elf's hair playfully, and Lindir swatted his hand away.
"Come now, Lindy, there is no need to be so hostile! I thought that we were friends!" "We. Are. Not. Friends!" the elf hissed through gritted teeth.
"No? Perhaps we are⦠more than friends, then? Hmm?" Before the minstrel could process what was happening he found his back pressed to a pillar, Aragorn's face mere inches from his own.
The elf's eyes were wide with shock. "Aragorn, what are you doing? Is this another prank? I shall inform my Lord Elrond of this nonsen-" His sentence was cut short by the man's mouth crashing down upon his own. To his astonishment, Lindir did not find the sensation at all disagreeable, and he began to respond to Aragorn's actions.
In all of his millennia, Lindir had never felt such base urges as he felt now with Aragorn's tongue plundering his mouth. Suddenly, he felt the man's hand reach down and cup him where he had never been touched before. He gasped and pulled back. "We- we can't do this here!"
"No. Linen closet!" Aragorn grabbed the front of his robes and dragged him quickly into the nearest closet. "But the linens!" Lindir cried. "Lord Elrond would be so displeased!" "Lord Elrond does not have to find out," Aragorn breathed in his ear.
"But I- OH!" Aragorn had begun gently rubbing him in just the right place, and his body was responding very strongly.
"You've never done this before, have you?" Aragorn asked him with laughter in his voice.
"I- no, I haven't." he practically choked out.
"Well, you're in for a treat, then." Aragorn grinned and, sinking to his knees, lifted the hem of the elf's robes up over his slender waist, revealing his straining linen-clad package. Smirking, the man tugged the undergarment down until it fell around Lindir's ankles.
Grabbing the elf's length in his calloused hand, Aragorn stroked him a few times before slowly licking him from tip to base and back again, swirling his tongue around the head. Lindir moaned and fisted his hands in Aragorn's hair as he took him in his mouth.
This was unlike anything he had ever experienced. It was pure ecstasy, and he knew that he would not last long. "Aragorn! Something is happening!" he panted, barely able to breathe.
Aragorn chuckled, knowing exactly what was about to happen. The vibration that his laughter caused was enough to send Lindir over the precipice. Points of light sprang into his vision and he shuddered with release.
Aragorn waited for him to finish, then spit the mouthful of the elf's hot seed into a neatly folded stack of linens.
Lindir collapsed into a pile of the soft bedding, panting. He let out a peal of laughter.
Aragorn looked at him questioningly. "What?" "If Lord Elrond ever finds out what we did in here, he shall slay us both."
