This is a rewrite of my twilight story, Paul and Bella. I have been going over all of my stories and I really don't like how I have left things out and made mistakes. So I have decided to start again on the stories that I have inspiration for.
Chapter 1,
Bella's POV,
It's been three months since Edward left taking his family with him. He left me alone and broken in the woods, I was found three days later by Sam Uley. I knew when he took me into the woods that something was wrong, he had spent so long telling me that there was danger's out there and I shouldn't go in there on my own. What hurt most was everything he said to me, all the things he told the reasons why we couldn't be together. He was tired of playing human, I wasn't good enough for him or his family, Alice was sick of trying to make me into something that I was just never going to be.
At first I fought for him, until he told me he didn't want me any more. That was what broke me, I had sacrificed so much to be with him, my friends my relationship with my dad, and he was throwing it all back in my face. I chased him first because I wanted to scream at him, I wanted him to know all the people I had given up to be with him, I wanted him to know how many times I had argued with my dad because Charlie always told me Edward wasn't good enough for me.
But then I realised there was no point, because he had gone and while it hurt I knew deep down it was for the best. Unfortunately I had got myself lost in the woods which is why it took them so long to find me, I had wondered off of the trail and into deep brush.
At first I was a mess, even though I knew the break up was for the better it was still a break up so I still cried for the relationship, but I got better, I threw myself into my school work I went out with friends, I even rebuilt my relationship with Jacob, my childhood best friend who I had lost due to being with Edward.
I had always known Jacobs feelings for me, but I had never felt the same he was family and he always will be. We hung out most of the time, we had an easy friendship he came to my graduation with Charlie and his dad Billy. He threw me a party and he made me apply for different colleges.
He told me I could do anything if I put my mind to it and I believed him. So I applied to the community college at first so I could do a few courses and still be here for Charlie, because I just wasn't ready to leave him or Jacob yet.
It was Friday night our usual film night, and Jacob was late five minutes then twenty until two hours had passed and still no sign of Jacob, I started panicking, Jake had never been this late before, so I rushed to the kitchen write dad a note to say I had gone to see Jake.
I ran out the door, slamming and locking it behind me, jumped into my truck, hoping and praying Charlie wouldn't catch me speeding. I got to La Push in record time, I slammed on the breaks outside Jakes, I opened the door and didn't even bother to close it, I rushed to the door banging on. Billy opened it.
"Hey Billy is Jake okay? He was supposed to be at mine two hours ago and he never turned up"
I knew something was wrong just by the way Billy was looking at me, like I had no right to be there or even be asking for Jake.
"His not feeling to good Bella"
I didn't even get to say anything after that because he shut the door in my face, to say I was shocked would be an understatement, Billy had never been so rude to me before. I just stood there not knowing really what to do, should I just leave and come back another day or should I bang on the door again and demand to see Jake? My decision was made when it started raining, I got back in my truck, looking back at the house one last time before driving home.
I went straight to my room and got ready for bed, once I was ready and laying in bed, I grabbed my cell and phoned Jacobs it went straight to voice mail.
Hey I can't come to the phone right now by if you leave a message I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
Hey Jake it's Bella, you didn't make it to our film night so I stopped by, Billy said your ill. Call me when you can I'm worried about you!
I switched my phone off and just laid in bed, worrying about Jake.
I fell into a restless sleep, tossing and turning, worrying about Jacob!
It went on like this for a week, I would ring Jacobs cell and there would be no answer so I would try Billy and still get no answer, it was like they knew it was me ringing them.
Saturday I decided I had, had enough of being ignored or lied to so I made my way to La Push, determined to speak to Jacob come hell or high water, I parked outside of the little red house and just sat there for a while, I knew Jacob was in because his bedroom window was open, I got out of the truck and walked over to the front door, banging rather loudly on it, before anyone could answer the door I heard talking coming from the back of the house.
I walk round to find Jacob standing there with some of the guys from the Rez, I knew one of them was Sam who had found me in the woods, and the others were Paul, Embry and Jared.
They hadn't seen me yet which worked to my advantage, I walked right up to Jacob and pushed him in the chest!
"So this is the reason you can't call me back your busy with all your new friends? What about me Jake huh? I have been worried sick about you for the past damn week, I haven't slept!"
He looked so shocked to see me, and even more shocked that I was actually confronting him. He looked behind him to the guys and then looked back to me, I could see anger in his eyes but also pain, confusion and regret!
"Bella, you shouldn't be here, we can't be friends any more"
I was totally thrown through a loop I had no idea that would come out of his mouth, I mean come on he had promised me he would always be there for me and that he would keep fighting for me even though I had told him it was pointless no matter how healed I was from Edward leaving me, there was never going to be a Bella and Jacob love story because I just didn't see him that way. What came out of my mouth next shocked the hell out of me,
"Your Breaking up with me?"
I knew I had shocked him with that, and maybe even hurt him, I don't even know where that came from, it just popped out of my mouth, like I had no verbal filter but Jacob shocked me even more,
He laughed and it was a laugh of pure hurt and anger,
"Breaking up with you? How can I break up with you when you never even gave me a chance? I never had you to break up with you Bella!"
I knew what he said was true, but how can you give some one a chance when you have no romantic feelings for them, don't get me wrong I love Jacob, but I love him as my brother, is my family and that is all he would ever be.
"Jake, I know I've been a mess lately, but you were helping me, your my best friend, my brother in every way but blood, how can you leave me?"
I must of said something that angered him more then anything, because he started shaking, to the point that Sam had to call his name, in a tone that sounded like a warning,
"JACOB!"
Jake seemed to take a deep breath and then calmed down, he looked at me then with so much anger and hurt in his eyes that all I wanted to do was run away from him and hide.
"Bella you'll be fine just go and find the leeches that you love so much, because lets face it they loved you that much that they left you! To Edward to fix what he broke, tell them what they put you through the past couple of months and how much you still pine after someone who could care less. Edward is a coward for breaking up with you, he should see what his done to you"
I couldn't believe that had come out of his mouth, he had never spoken to me like that before, I knew I was hurting him with, I am trying to get better, thats why I hung out with him so much. He made me happy he was my sunshine but then maybe I was putting to much pressure on him, I knew that I was responsible for the past couple of months and how I had acted, yes Edward did wrong by leaving me the way he did, but he did right by leaving me.
I never realised until now, how unhealthy our relationship was he would always tell me what to do or who I could speak to, and Alice would always dictate my wardrobe and how I should and shouldn't look.
"Jake what the hell is wrong with you? You have never spoken to me in this way!"
I look behind him to see all the guys just standing there watching us, listening to everything we had to say to each other, I knew they had heard him say leeches, I didn't know what to make of that comment so I ignored it for now, we had more pressing matters to discus.
"Nothing is wrong with me Bella, maybe if I had spoken to like this a lot sooner then you wouldn't have been moping around like you have been. What Edward did to you was disgusting, leaving you alone in the woods after breaking up with you"
That made me angry because I had tried my hardest when ever I was with Jake to never mope, since Charlie had told me off that time I had done everything in my power not to mope.
"You think I don't know that? I know what he did. I was there, he did it to me I felt everything he said it was like a knife to my heart, like he was carving wholes all over my heart. I know I've been a mess but do you know what break ups ain't easy that's why there called break ups! But that doesn't make you a saint in all this, yes Edward broke my heart but you, you repaired my heart only to break it again. You fixed me just to break me!"
He looked at me then, really looked at me, and I knew he saw the black bags under my eyes, and the dim look to my eyes, he could see my sleepless nights wearing on me now. He had such pain in his eyes, I wanted to hug him and say how sorry I was that I couldn't love him the way he wanted but we had to talk about this.
"Bella please don't say that, I never meant to hurt you."
"But you did, Jake you were the one that promised me, remember I told you I was broken, I told you I was damaged but you told me that I could be fixed and that you would always be there, and I believed you, I got better!"
He just stared at me, I knew he was thinking about what I had said, I didn't want to hurt him any more. I never meant to hurt him in the first place. Sometimes you just can't help who you fall in love with.
I heard chuckling behind him so I looked to see who it was, and saw that it was Paul and Jared, laughing at something and for some unknown reason that pissed me the fuck off. I pushed past Jacob and stood in front of them with my hands on my hips glaring at them. It shut Jared up but Paul had something to say,
"Hey Bambi what can I do for you? You come to make me feel guilty now huh"
I looked at him confused for a moment, then realised what he said, and it really pissed me off, to the point that I did something I had never done before and didn't know I had in me, I slapped Paul across the face, it must of shocked him more then hurt because he face snapped to the left, but what shocked me was the electric tinkles that went through my hand and arm when it came into contact with Pauls face, he turned his head back to me, and I saw how shocked he was, but it only took five minutes for him to launch into a verbal attack.
"What the fuck is wrong with you Bambi? Making Jacob feel guilty for what that leech did to you wasn't enough? So now you use violence?"
"I...I...What?" Stuttering was all I could master because I was still so shocked by my actions and the little tinkles that were still running through my arm.
"I said what the fuck is wrong with you? Who do you think you are coming here, having a go at Jake, making him feel all kinds of shit, because he told you that you couldn't be friends any more because he wants more then what you can give him. Then you fucking slap me in the damn face, who the fuck do you think you are?"
I just looked at him, I knew he was right but I had also told Jake so many times that it would never happen between us,
"But it's not like that between me and Jake he knew that, I've told him so many times that there would never be anything between us."
"It doesn't matter what you've told him, your actions speak louder then words. You may have told him but have you made it clear with your actions? Look, the leech left you big damn deal why the fuck are you acting like it's the end of the damn world? There fucking vampires, soul sucking monsters they can't love"
Okay, so there was that leech word again and now Paul was calling them vampires. Nobody is supposed to know about the Cullen's being vampires but clearly there secret wasn't so much a secret. It pissed me off that he thought he could judge my relationship with Edward when they knew nothing about it, Edward and his family can love all I thought they could. Maybe I had been wrong all along, maybe his family were soulless monsters.
That's when I felt so many different emotions hitting me all at once, and I knew in that moment that I am still alive.
I am not living my life merely existing but I am still alive, what Paul said had real unadulterated anger coursing through my veins, it wasn't what he said really, it was because I knew he was right and that made me angry because it means that Edward never really loved me.
"How dare you, who the fuck do you think you are? You know nothing of my relationship with Edward!"
He just looked at me, I could feel the shock coming off Jake, I swore not something that has ever happened.
"I know enough, to know that he can't love you, and he doesn't love you. Because if he did then why did he leave you? Where is the love of your life now huh?"
Everything he said hit a nerve because I knew deep down I knew that it was all true, but facing up to that was so much harder because it means that I had let my life go down this path for nothing, and that made me angrier.
"Just because his not here doesn't mean he doesn't love me, what do you know of love?"
"I know when you love someone you love them unconditionally, you don't try to change them and make them into something you want them to be. You don't stop them from seeing the people that matter in their life's"
" I know what love is!"
But did I truly know what love was? I mean Edward had tried to change me into something that I just wasn't, his idea of a perfect housewife!
"Really, Cause your blind as fuck when it comes to Jacob, or do you not care enough about him?"
That hurt more then anything, because I do care about Jacob I always have done. But there was no spark between me and Jake, I love him as my brother as my family wasn't that enough?
"I told Jacob in the beginning I could never love him the way he wants, I gave my heart away, I love him but as my brother, my family nothing more. Edward may have never loved me but I loved him that was real and I could never give my heart to another, how could I?"
Paul looked at me, he looked deep into my eyes like he was looking for something
"Have you even tried?"
"Well..I..I..Umm"
"I thought so, you don't even know do you? You spent so long following behind Cullen that you can't make decision's for yourself. Don't stop living your life because some dumbass mother fucker left you, because your not broken, your not damaged you can move on from this you just have to try. Live your life and show him what the hell he is missing, don't let him ruin the life you could have, live, be happy. You haven't even tried to let him go and move on have you? What the fuck do you think that sparkly dick head is up to? Let him go, your find out what true happiness is when you do and your find that you have something to actually live for, rather then this piss poor excuse of a life that you have going on now."
I couldn't believe what he had said, he hit it on the nail. I haven't tried to let Edward go, I have spent so long hoping and wishing he would come back to me that I never actually thought about what he is up to now. Has he been wallowing in self pity or has he been finding more girls to fuck with. I couldn't believe how truly pathetic I had been.
He left me, so clearly he didn't want me! I wish somebody had spoken to me this way months ago, before I completely zombiefied myself!
I looked to Paul who seemed to be watching me, waiting for something to click in my brain. I need to heal myself I am responsible for my own happiness. He must have found what he was looking for cause he crossed his arms over his chest smirking at me, I shook my head.
"I can't believe it took for an asswhole like you to talk to me like that before it clicked into my brain."
"Well thank you miss Bambi"
He still had that damn smirk on his face, but I could see an emotion in his eyes that I couldn't work out. I shook my head again to clear it, then I looked over to Jake who seemed as shocked as everybody else that I had actually agreed with Paul. I knew what I had to do just by looking at Jake, and it was going to break my heart to hurt him but it had to be done. I looked to Paul with a soft smile on my face, a real smile that actually reached my eyes, he returned it.
"Thank you Paul,"
"Your welcome, but for what exactly?"
"For telling me what I already knew but needed to hear. Oh and urm sorry for hitting you"
He laughed at that,
"Don't it sweat it Bella its not like you can hurt me and besides I was just being me"
"Still I am sorry I don't normally go around hitting people, especially big muscley men could break me in half"
I laughed, and he joined in,
"As I said don't sweat it, and I would never hurt you"
I nodded my head and made my way over to Jake,
"Hey"
"So you hit Paul huh?"
I just nodded my head, I grabbed his face in both my hands and looked deep into his eyes,
"Jake you know what has to happen now right?"
He looked at me, and I knew he saw where I was going with this, he shook his head and went to speak but I put my finger onto his lips.
"Jake you know I love you, I just don't love you the way you want me to. Your my brother Jake and you always will be. But I can't hurt you like this any more, we will never be what you want us to be. I can't I'm sorry"
"Bella how do you know you can't love me in that way?"
"Because your my family Jacob, and I could never do anything that would jeopardise that. You need to move on, find someone who can love you as much as you would love them. Someone who can make you happy. Love them with everything you have Jake because you never know when you're going to lose it."
"Bella, I don't understand what are you saying?"
"I'm saying goodbye Jacob. I can't stay in your life knowing how you feel about me, I wont be the one to mess your life up any more, it's not fair. I can't ask you to fix me because I have to do that myself."
I felt the tears running his face, and I knew my tears were falling to.
"Bella don't do this please, we can still be friends I can give you that"
I shook my head, I wanted nothing more the agree but I knew he couldn't give me friendship because he would always want more.
"Jake you and I both know that you can't just be my friend, you love me and you need to move on without me in your life. Please be happy Jacob, move on and find love."
I leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his lips then went to walk away, but he stopped me by grabbing my hand, he twined his fingers with mine.
"Please Bella don't do this, don't leave me"
I slowly let go of his hand, and pulled his off me, I let it drop to his side and made sure he was looking at me.
"I have to, because you deserve more then I can ever give you. You will always be my little brother blood doesn't matter. I love you Jacob Black."
I turned to walk away when he grabbed me again, I didn't even look at him I just looked over to Sam and they guys asking for help with my eyes, they nodded their heads and come over to us, Sam and Jared grabbed him by the arms and Paul pulled his head off mine and stood in front of him so he couldn't follow me to my truck. I could hear him calling for me with every step I took.
"BELLA, Please don't do this, please don't walk away from me, I love you"
It broke my heart to hear him calling for me, but I knew I couldn't turn back.
"I'm sorry Jacob." I whispered it, so softly I hoped he heard me.
I got in my truck and drove all the way home, I got out and went straight to my room, I knew what I had done was for the best but it still hurt to know I had hurt my best friend in that way.
Laying on my bed gave me time to think about everything that was said, and I knew then that all the guys were Wolves I remember Edward telling me about them, one night when we were arguing about me going to see Jacob. He thought by telling me it would stop me when all it did was make me shout at him.
I spent three weeks healing myself, getting back to who I was before the Cullen's came into my life. I got my grades up and was able to graduate early because of all the work I did. I applied to colleges but I didn't want to yet, I wanted a year off so I could properly work out who I was and were I wanted to go with my life.
I haven't heard from any of the guys since that awful day which in a way I was happy but I was also sad, because for some damn unknown reason I couldn't get Paul off my mind and I had no idea why.
I told Charlie that I wanted to travel, before I went to school cause I needed to know who I am, I needed to find myself, he told me I could use my college savings for the trip. He told me that he trusts me to do the right thing with my life.
I asked him if we could have a going away party and he said that he had already planned something but he wasn't telling me what it was.
I was brought out of my thoughts by Charlie calling me downstairs,
"Bells come down here for a moment."
"Be down in a minute dad,"
I shut my laptop off and walked downstairs to see dad sitting at the kitchen table, so I sat in front of him.
"What's up dad?"
instead of speaking he passes over a black velvet box, I pick it up and open it to see a gold locket inside, I look up and dad with a shocked expression on my face,
"Daddy what is this?"
"Well I'm damn proud of you Bella and this is just to remind you that no matter what you think about yourself you are always you"
I took the locket out of the box and opened it up, inside was an inscription,
You are who you want to be!
Daddy's little girl.
I love you
I jumped out of my seat and rushed over to him throwing my arms around him and hugging him so close.
"Thank you dad, I love it"
"Your welcome it's just a little something to remember me by."
"Dad I could never forget you, I love you"
"I love you to Bells always have and always will"
We hugged each other and that was the end of it. Dad decided he wanted pizza for dinner tonight, so I told him I wasn't hungry and went upstairs, I just wanted to be on my own for a while, I needed to make sure that I was making the right choice for me. Sleep was finally taking me and I welcomed it, but before I could start snoring their was a noise from my window, thinking it was Jacob I rushed over and opened it, but I was shocked when I saw Jasper sitting on the tree outside,
"Jasper what the hell are you doing here?"
He just smiled at me,
"Hello Bella"
I just looked at him, what the fuck was he doing here? I was just looking at him with my mouth flopping open, like a fish.
"Bella? Are you going to let me in or are you just going to stand there with your mouth hanging open?"
I shook my head and moved out of the way.
"Come in Jasper"
He climbed through my window and stood in front of me,
"Jasper why are you here?"
"I've wanted to come back for a long time, but never had the opportunity to, someone always stopped me. I wanted to say how sorry I am for trying to kill you on your birthday"
"Jasper it's okay, I know that you had the blood lust from all of the family thrown at you, more so from Edward, I'm not mad at you, I never was. I never blamed you"
"But if I had never tried to eat you then Edward would have stayed."
"No he wouldn't of, you and I both know that he didn't love me not in the way I loved him."
"He loves you"
"No he doesn't but that's okay, I have gotten over him leaving me and I wouldn't want him to come back into my life I don't love him any more. I have moved on with my life, and now I am living it for me"
"Well Bella I am so happy for you"
"Thank you. How are the rest of the family?"
"They were fine when I left them, they say they miss you but their emotions don't really fit"
"I don't miss them"
He looked shocked for a moment then smiled.
"Well Miss Bella, you really have moved on"
"I have"
"Well I'll leave you to sleep, goodnight Bella."
"Goodnight Jasper"
With that he left, and I was left to finally drift off to sleep. Even though I had moved on from Edward and no longer had night mares about him, there was still one person I couldn't get off my mind.
PAUL
