So, here's a new story that I'm pretty excited for! It will mainly focus on the characters and their development, as well as a few themes. I hope you enjoy!

Seven Deadly Sinners

My first thought as I look at the six other people in the room?

What a bunch of freaks.

I mean, seriously. I've seen some some whack jobs in my day, but these losers take the cake. An overweight Goomba, sticking his nose up imperiously at everyone, a nervous wreck of a Boo who won't stop squirming and shifting her gaze, a drugged out looking Shy Guy humming some indistinct tune...hell, there's even a human, which is strange, considering how rare they are in the Mushroom Kingdom. Or most anywhere, nowadays, actually.

But, then again, this whole situation reeks of strange. Waking up in a decrepit old warehouse that looks like an interior designer's worst nightmare, surrounded by strangers, and with no clue how I got here...yeah, that seems pretty strange. Like some shit straight outta some bad novel or movie or whatever.

Haven't had much time to really take it all in, though. I just woke up and, bam, I'm sitting uncomfortably in an ancient armchair with questionable stains, and there's a group of random people sitting near me, all of us arranged in a sloppy circle.

"What the hell is this!?" I turn my head to the right and spot a Koopa wearing a black and green hoodie, a scowl on her face. "Where am I?" She starts tugging at some restraints keeping her in place, and it's then that I notice that I'm tethered to my seat as well. I don't even bother with struggling, considering how much trouble she's having.

The Shy Guy wearing a green Shy Guy cloak and purple shoes glances around curiously, a perplexed expression on his face. "Whoaaaa, am I trippin'? I mean, I've conked out in some pretty weird places, buuuut I don' think I remember anywhere like this..."

The Goomba rolls his eyes at the Shy Guy's slow drawl. Now that I get a better look at him, he doesn't seem as overweight as I had thought. He is packing a bit of chub, but the other half seems to be muscle. An obese body builder, maybe?

"Quite obviously this is some sort of kidnapping." Oh, God, I hate the way he talks! It's some sort of fake accent mixed with just the right amount of snobbiness and combined with a nasally voice. Extremely ear grating, I tell you.

"Yeah, I could've guessed that." the Koopa girl scoffs. "I just have no idea why the hell I'm even here."

"Is this some kinda TV show or something?" a Blooper, colored an icy shade of blue and with a weird speckled bandana on his forehead, pipes up. He sounds so energetic and carefree that I can't help but hate him. "I've always wanted to be on TV!"

"I highly doubt it." the human speaks up. Now, I've never seen many humans before-only one, and he was a dude-but if I had to guess, I would say that she would be a straight up ten on a human's attraction chart. Dark hair, green eyes, and a 'cool beauty' attitude...yeah, she's a bitch, already.

"P-p-p-p-please! L-let me g-go!" the purple Boo wearing rectangular glasses cries out to no one in particular. There's a wild look in her red eyes, like that of a cornered animal, but also a gleam of recognition in them, as if something like this has happened to her before. But no matter what shit she's gone through, it won't change the fact that her stuttering is freaking intolerable. "I haven't d-done anything bad! I don't wanna be h-hurt!"

"Greetings, friends!"

For once, I can't locate the source of the voice. I see the others glancing around too, but nobody can seem to find the speaker from their positions in their chairs.

Suddenly, the space in the center of our circle ripples. A thin white rectangle appears briefly, and within the shape a figure materializes. In the next second, I'm staring at some goofy looking jester floating in the center of the the ring. Well, goofy, but also a bit...creepy.

"Duuuude." the Shy Guy chuckles lightly, his chortles rising into a full on laugh. "How high am I right now?"

"The fuck are you?" the PMS Koopa snarls.

The jester twirls in midair and strikes an obnoxiously flamboyant pose. "Why, your Messiah! Your Savior! The Miracle that Blesses You With Redemption!"

The Koopa somehow manages to scowl further and looks the jester up and down. "Huh. That's funny. I don't remember Bozo the Clown being so damn delusional."

The jester laughs heartily at the insult, brushing it off as if the girl couldn't possibly get to him if she wanted to. This visibly annoys her.

I sigh, my patience run out. I've had enough of this joker's little show.

"Hey, jackass." He turns to me. "You're the one who kidnapped us, right? Mind letting us go, now?" I put all of the hostility I can muster into my words. I'm not scared. Why should I be? So what if my captor knows a few magic tricks? I've dealt with Magikoopas before. This is nothing. I've been in far worse situations before.

And my enemies have never worn a fucking clown suit.

"My, my! Temper!" he chortles. "Maybe I should reconsider and give the title of Wrath to you instead?"

What the hell is he talking about?

Before I can ask, the Goomba clears his throat rather loudly. The jester turns his attention towards him.

"Well, this is all jolly good and such, but I'm a busy man and don't have time for trifling matter such as this." (Have I mentioned how much of a prick this guy sounds like?) "Therefore, I implore that you quickly state your demands so that we may settle this issue and I may be on my merry way."

"Demands? Already? Why, don't you want to know why you're here, first?"

The Goomba wrinkles his face as if he's smelled something awful. "Hm, no, not really."

"Uh, I'd like to." the Blooper tries to raise a tentacle, but fails since they're all tied down. Instead, he strains to sit up straighter in his chair. "This is some kinda reality TV show, right? Right?"

The jester shakes his head, causing the bells on his hat to tinkle. Damn, that's annoying. "This is not a show, but it is certainly reality!"

"Uh, whaddaya mean?"

The jester snaps his fingers and asks an unrelated question. "Do any of you remember how you got here?"

Come to think of it, I don't really remember anything. Well, I do remember some things. My friends, family, events, all kinds of things. Just not the circumstances that led me to being tied up in an old building with a bunch of morons and a mentally deranged clown.

"No." the human says. "I suppose you're going to explain that to us?"

"Yep!" The freaking bells tinkle like wind chimes in tornado as he nods his head about a dozen times. "You see, all of you should be dead right now!"

What he says doesn't come as too much of a shock to me. I've had people say things like that to me before. But the cheerful conviction in his voice definitely throws me for a loop. He's not threatening us. It's as if he actually believes that we should be dead.

"D-dead!?" the Boo cries. She begins to struggle even more. "N-no! Please! I don't wanna die!"

Motioning for her to settle down, the jester waits. However, since she refuses to calm down, he sighs and continues.

"No, no, no need to worry. You see, I said you should be dead. But thanks to me, your'e not!"

"What the hell does that mean?" I ask. "What are you talking about?"

The jester joins his hands behind his back and floats a bit higher, launching into a speech that he must have prepared especially for us. Oh joy.

"Each of you wonderful little monsters should be dead right now. That's right! All of you have already died! You should be gone from this world and on your way to another place known as Hell, or, as some call it, the Underwhere. Due to the circumstances of your lives, the actions you have taken, you have been deemed unworthy of entering Heaven, or the Overthere, if you prefer. But, I, O Generous and Benevolent Hero that I am, would not stand for such a thing! The world may see you as evil, as villains. But I? I see you seven as precious jewels amongst the filth, treasures that should be adored! 'Injustice!', I cried! 'Corruption!', I roared! 'These souls should not be condemned! Have you not paid a wit of attention to them? Do you not see that they should be praised as wonderful? That they should be allowed entrance through the pearly gates? I plead, nay, I DEMAND that you reconsider!' All of this I said and more, right in Their face!"

His whole story is freaking nuts, and I'm trying to wrap my head around it all. I start by asking questions, the first being, "'Their'...?"

The jester nodded. Ugh, those freaking bells...!

"Indeed! Them. The Creators. The Divines. They go by many names." He then rubs his chin, deep in thought. "In fact, I don't even really know if there is a They, as in plural. Speaking to Them, it sounds like many voices, male and female, all in unison, all of indeterminate age. They are one, yet They are many. Even one as strong as I cannot comprehend the all powerful Them. All powerful. Yes, all powerful..."

His voice drifts off, and his hand freezes mid-rub.

"You...mean Grambi, right?" the Blooper asks. "The head honcho over there at the, er, Overthere?"

"Not Grambi..." the jester says very slowly and without his cheerful demeanor. The loathing in his voice is clear as a crystal. Suddenly, however, he returns full force, continuing his explanation.

"Yes, now, where was I? Ah, yes, yes, I demanded that They let you enter Heaven! But They wouldn't reconsider. So I decided to bend the rules, to take matters into my own hands! I decided to intercept your souls and return them to your bodies!"

"And how, pray tell, would you manage that?" the Goomba scoffs. "Obviously you are bluffing. Not even the most powerful magic users could do such a thing."

The jester lets slip a small giggle, and I can tell that he's smirking behind his mask.

"Would you like a glimpse, then?"

"A glimpse?" the human asks.

"Into Hell."

Without another word, the jester gives a little flourish and reaches into the air. Pinching the air between his fingers, he gently pulls down, as if he was unzipping a bag.

A portal opens.

A portal to Hell.

...

Oh, god. Oh my...w...what...what is this...? Can such a thing even...what...oh god...

A sound pierces my ears. Is it my voice? I think it is. Maybe. My throat hurts. How long have I been screaming? My eyes...they're stinging with sweat and tears. I'm shaking violently, and something is dribbling down my chest.

It takes a few moments for me to realize that the door the jester had opened has disappeared.

For a while, I'm completely out of it. So are the others, I think, since all I hear is the sound of panting, shaky breaths, and weeping. I glance down and see that I'm covered in vomit.

That's when my mind returns to my body.

Holy shit...was that...Hell? That place...those things...everything I saw, everything I heard...is there any word to even come close to describing it?

I can't wipe my mind of the horrors I've just witnessed. There is only one clear sentence running through my mind.

'I'm glad I was on this side, and not in there...'

"You see?" the jester's voice breaks the relative silence. He no longer sounds jolly and has instead adopted a serious tone. "This is what They have planned for you. This is the fate They have decided for you. Eternal pain and suffering, worse than any you have endured before. And what you just saw? That was considered the gentler region of Hell."

Gentle? No, no way. How could anything be worse than...all of that? No, no, I don't want to find out. I don't want to go there.

"I'll do anything..." I'm saying before I'm even fully aware that I'm talking. "Anything. Please...just don't let me..."

I can't help it. I cry. Yup, I bawl like a freaking baby. But if you had seen the shit I had just saw? Chances are you would be clawing your eyes out so you'd never have the chance of seeing it again. I might have, even, if my arms weren't strapped down. A part of my brain subconsciously wonders if that's why the jester had us restrained.

"Anything, you say?" the jester has reclaimed some of his sly, playful attitude. He addresses me first, then turns to include the others. A brief glance upwards shows me that they're in a similar way as me. Pale, shaking, covered in tears and/or vomit. The Boo chick even has some blood sprayed across her face.

'Probably from that guy in there...' I begin to think, but force myself to stop. I can already feel my stomach churning remembering one of the gruesome tortures the jester had shown us.

"Yes, anything." I say again. Damn, I hate how my voice is shaking. I feel so weak, but I can't help it.

"Y-yes..." even Ms. Too-Hot-For-You is quivering. "Me, too. I don't want to..." She trails off, but she doesn't need to finish the thought.

"I...I..." the Goomba utters, but can't manage more than that. The jester nods anyway, considering it an agreement.

I space out for a minute as the others, one by one, agree to something unknown to us all.

'But anything is better.' I think. 'Anything is better than that...'

"Very well." The jester is all business now. "If you don't want to earn yourself a visit to the lovely place I just showed you, then you must do exactly as I say."

"There are seven individuals who I want dead. Seven nuisances that need to be eliminated. Kill them, and I'll grant you your freedom to live. Fail, or refuse, and I'll send you on your merry way to the lowest depths of the underworld, where I'm sure they've reserved a comfortable spot for you. Simple, hm?"

Seven people he wants dead?

"Who?" I ask. "Why?"

The jester chuckles. "Oh, eager are you? I take it that you're agreeing to my terms, then?"

"No." I say, then quickly add, "Not yet." I don't want to turn down his offer, but I don't want to agree just yet. I'm practically signing a contract here. It's a contract I'm basically being forced to sign, but there's no way that I'm gonna agree to it without knowing everything first.

"Well, these people are the very definition of what I despise. They are the exact opposite of what I stand for, what I am. Therefore, they are a threat to me, to everything that I hold dear, to my ideals, to my plans. So, I want them eliminated."

"But why can't you do it yourself?" the Blooper asks. I'm glad he didn't bother to ask about this nut job's ideals or whatever. I need to know all I can, but I don't need to get into the head of such a loony.

"There are certain rules that even I must follow." he sighs. "Explaining the specifics would probably take too long and tie your puny minds into tight little knots, so I'll keep it simple. I can't touch them. But I can use others to affect them."

"I get it. I guess." the Shy Guy speaks up. His happy-go-lucky demeanor has definitely been bogged down by his peek into the underworld. Now he just sounds sort of depressed. "So we're, like, the players, and you're our coach?"

The jester shrugs. "Sort of."

The Koopa sighs. Her eyes are downcast and her voice is subdued. "Just...who do we need to kill?"

"Glad you asked. But first, I need confirmation. Are you all willing to do this now that you know what exactly I'm asking of you?"

I suddenly feel a rush of anger boil up within me. Filling my body, it rises until I'm fuming with rage. My shivers of fright are replaced with tremors of fury, and my fists are clenching tight, straining against the restraints, begging to punch something. Hard.

"Screw Them..." I mutter, but it gains the attention of the other members in the room. "Screw Them." I repeat myself, a bit louder. "Screw Them and screw whoever else damned us! Damned ME! I've done some pretty bad things, I know. I'm no saint. But I've done good, too! I don't belong there!"

I look up at the others who are all staring at me. Their expressions are either that of awe or that of confusion and pure weirded out-ness. Hopefully the former.

"Don't you guys think the same? I mean, I don't know about the rest of you, but certainly we can't deserve THAT. There's just no way any of us could deserve that. So is that really what you want? Do you really want that to be your fate? Are you just gonna lie down and let yourself be dragged to Hell? 'Cause I'm not. Whatever I need to do, I'll do it. I am NOT going there..."

My little speech fails to earn me any responses other than blank stares, so I turn to the jester.

"I'm in. Even if it's just me, I'm in. I'll get back at Them, somehow, someway."

"M-me too."

I look at the Boo. "I-I don't want to go th-there. I-I'll do it too!"

"As will I." the human says. Oh, good to see she's gone back to being the Ice Queen. "I will not allow myself to go down. Not without a fight."

"Well...it's a chance, in'it?" the Blooper sighs. "Ah, hell, guess I'm in." He flinches. "Oops, gotta be careful 'bout sayin' that now..."

"I suppose I have no choice." Sir Goomba McSnootington declares.

"Ah man, this is totally gonna kill my buzz, but..." High Guy groans. "Fine. I'll help kill your enemies for ya."

"I'll...I'll do it..." Punk Koopa's voice breaks near the end of her sentence. She says nothing more, her eyes focused on the ground.

The jester nods. "Very well. Good, good! It's settled then! Well, with that, allow me to properly introduce myself!"

Twirling in the air like some sort of anti gravitational ballerina, he strikes poses as he speaks. "I am the Face of Drama! The Master of Magicians! The One, the Only...Dimentio!"

Dimentio pauses for applause. Even if my hands weren't tied down, I wouldn't clap for him.

"This doesn't make us friends, clown." I snap at him. "We're just gonna kill these guys for you, and you're gonna let us live. That's it. So cut the theatrics."

He sighs and his arms drop to his sides. "You're such a spoilsport, Pride. At least let me have my fun."

His little nickname for me irks me. "I have a name, and it's not Pride."

Dimentio waggles a finger at me. "Not anymore! I've picked some special code names for you all! After all, no mission would be complete without code names! Care to hear them?"

"No." I spit. "Like I said, I have a name. It's Ashely."

Oh shit. I try to clamp my mouth shut, but the words have already escaped my lips.

At first, it's silent. Then I hear some snickering from the drugee and the squid erupts into laughter. The human raises an eyebrow and the punk smirks, obviously knowing that she's found something to hold over me.

"Ashely?" the Blooper chuckles. "Uh, dude, you do know that's, like, a girl's name, right?"

I can feel my face burning bright red. "Sh-shut up! I meant Ash! My name is Ash! Ashley is just a nickname someone gave me."

"Obviously they picked the most embarrassing one they could think of." Tubby murmurs, his expression just oozing a 'Wow, what a simpleton.' vibe.

"Hey, you shut your mouth! Someone very dear to me picked that nickname for me! A-anyways, it's Ash, okay!?" Damn, how could I let that slip? After that fiasco, I would rather just suck it up and let them call me Pride. Now I'll never hear the end of this.

Dimentio, who was also infected with a case of the giggles, calms down enough to continue. "Okay, okay, Ashley." he mockingly exaggerates my nickname. "If you wish to go by that name, that's fine. But you're official code name is Pride. Think about it a little and you might realize why you have the honor of bearing that title."

I don't need to think hard. It's pretty obvious why he would choose that name for me...

He then turns to the Koopa. "You are Greed. Isn't that fun?"

She snorts and rolls her eyes at him. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. Irony. You're a fucking comedian. Really, it's hilarious. Just get on with it."

"Touchy, touchy..." Dimentio turns to the human woman. "I suppose it doesn't come as too much of a surprise to you that you are Lust, hm?"

She says nothing, only staring him down. I don't like her, or any of the others, really, but I can kind of respect her silent opposition. I know I could never do something like that, just let someone say whatever the hell they want and not fight back.

He then addresses the Boo. She flinches, her glasses sliding askew. "Such a cute, timid little thing! But a demon underneath, aren't you? You will be Wrath. How does that sound?"

"O-okay..." she squeaks, shutting her eyes tight.

"Quite the portly fellow, aren't you?" Dimentio pokes the Goomba in the stomach.

Looking very offended, the Goomba sputters, "Wh-why you-I'll have you know that I am a regular member of the Mushroom Heights Gym, a Gold Member in fact, and-"

"Yes, yes, I get it." Dimentio interrupts him. "You will be Gluttony. Now, while you're out and about on your mission, do take care to try to lose a few pounds, will you?"

Hovering away from the extremely perturbed Goomba, Dimentio looks over the Shy Guy.

"Hmm. Sloth seems to fit you to a T, doesn't it?"

He chuckles a little too hard at that. "Dude, yeah, I agree. I'm lazy as shit, bro."

"And, finally, we have Envy." Dimentio says to the Blooper. I can tell that the squid is trying way too hard to act nonchalant about his new name.

"Eh, yeah, whatever, man, I'll take it. I mean, it's not like it's Ashely or anything." he flashes a sneer at me.

"You know, I'm pretty hungry, actually. I think fried calamari sounds pretty good, what about you guys?"

"Sure." Greed says. "Go ahead and get on that, Chef Ashley."

"Hey, screw you!"

"Bite me!"

"Um, m-maybe we should n-not fight..."

"Nobody asked you, whelp."

"Oh, you common folk and your eternal struggle to be King of the Plebeians..."

"Least we ain't all snobby rich pricks like you."

"Yo, anyone got a light? I need a little pick me up."

"Everyone! Calm down!" Dimentio tries to regain order, but the other freaks are too busy arguing to notice.

I back out of the fight and sit back, watching my new allies duke it out with insults and hate.

It's sure gonna be difficult to keep myself out of Hell with a team like this. But I can't end up there.

And, I also need to tie up some loose ends in the realm of the living. There's some things that I remember I've left unfinished.

I've gained another chance to save myself from damnation. I just hope that I haven't damned others...

I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Like I said, this fic will mostly focus on the seven main characters, so please tell me how I did with introducing them and what you think!

This fic kinda came outta nowhere, really. I was reading Hell's Uprising by Magikoopa981 (great story and author by the way. Go check 'em out!), so maybe I was kind of inspired or something. Well, either way, thanks Magikoopa, both for somehow helping give birth to this story and for your support!

Also, just wanted to add a little disclaimer here:

This fic is not intended to offend anyone's religious beliefs or anything. I know that there will be some references to Heaven and Hell and God and such throughout this fic, but it's not meant to attack Christianity or anything. I myself am Christian, actually. I just like the idea of the seven deadly sins and good and evil and such, so incorporating all of it this way is really fun for me. Anyways, if I've offended anyone, I apologize.

Anyways, hope you liked this first chapter of what I hope will be the first of many! Please tell me what you think!