'Dean, I love you'

The words still ring in my head, how you told me time and time again. How many times you told me you loved me, how many times you would be on the verge of crying when I would just kiss you, not saying anything back.

That started back when you were 16. I knew you meant it, I knew that I loved you too, but I just couldn't say it out loud. Even after I stopped seeing other people in the towns we went to, because you came to me one night in tears. Begging me to stop, you wanted to be the only one that I would have. A few times I did end up sneaking out, I don't think you even knew, because there wasn't any pain in your eyes the next day. Though that could of just been you getting good at being a good actor.

By the time you were 18, I still hadn't said it, though I knew I felt it. Still, I couldn't say it. So it shouldn't of been a big surprise, when I found you gone, with a note saying where you were going. For two more years we talked on the phone, though every time you said it, I would just say good bye. I wanted to tell you in person, though I couldn't get out to you.

When I finally did, finally ready to tell you, I saw you with her. You and her looked so happy and I followed you for a while, listening. It was a time after you kissed that hurt the most.

"I love you, Jess"

"I love you too"

I wanted to tell you so bad, but I knew. I love you, just came too late.

WOW it's been a while. How is everyone?

Things with me went from ok, to EH, to me having surgery to get my gallbladder out after being sick for a month. SO I hopefully will be around more... I hope