In a perfect world, Harry was raised by Remus and Sirius and never once saw the Dursleys, ever. I think that's what Jo meant to write but somehow forgot about it. I'm sure that's what happened :'(

A very, very, very special thanks to wildknees, who puts up with my constant babbling about how much I wish my head canons were true.

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and said such wonderful things. Honestly, I can't even begin to comprehend your kind words :P


"Harry, what have I told you about putting carrots up your nose?"

It was a normal Friday evening when Harry decided to lodge a small carrot up his nose, proving nothing in particular but amusing his Godfather in the process.

"Look, it fits!" exclaimed a seven year old Harry, spreading his small arms out just like Sirius did when presenting himself to Remus while wearing a new pair of trousers. Knowing the boy wouldn't understand anytime soon, Remus simply pulled the carrot out and placed it in a napkin.

"Merlin, if he keeps doing that he'll never get a girlfriend," sighed Remus, staring at Harry as the child scooped up a large spoonful of peas, dropping half of them on the floor in the process.

Sirius laughed, cleaning the mess with a flick of his wand. "Have I ever told you how much I long for the day when I have to give him The Talk?" He pushed Harry back onto his seat when he tried to climb his way over to get more peas.

"An unhealthy obsession if you ask me. Harry," Remus said sternly before hiding a grin when the small boy apologized and placed his bum flat on the chair again. "If you eat all your peas without sending them across the kitchen, I promise we'll begin working on the tree house tomorrow." Both men cringed as Harry's high pitched voice and peas hit them not two seconds afterwards.

"Can we put posters inside like you have in your study, Sirius? And can I have lots of books like Remus? I want to sleep in it when it's done for a whole night! Sirius, do you think vampires can climb into tree houses? Do you think there's a spell that can stop them from going in and eating me?" asked Harry, not once stopping to catch his breath, a skill Sirius shared and used when he was equally excited.

Like now.

"I'll give you all the posters you want, don't worry. Remus, do you think we could get him a couple of night lights for him? You know, those new fairy ones that move around the ceiling? That'd be brilliant! You don't have to worry about vampires, kiddo. Padfoot will be there to chase them off faster than you can say peas. Uh oh, Harry…" Sirius finally breathed. "I think Remus is getting overwhelmed."

It took all of Remus' will power not to give in and smile as Sirius spoke, knowing Harry got all his good (and bad) habits from his Godfather. The same excited voice Harry had when he wanted something really badly. The same hand gestures and facial expressions when he tried to explain a concept beyond the intelligence of any adult. Even the same pout when he was scolded or told he wasn't able to do something to Padfoots tail.

"How about…" Remus paused, mentally smirking as both Harry and Sirius leaned closer to the table. "How about we all finish dinner and Sirius, it's your turn to give Harry his bath."

Remus did laugh when Harry whined, long and loud. "But why, Remus? I'm clean! I didn't even spill anything on myself today." Poor carrots, Harry was stabbing them with such fury that Remus was surprised he didn't break the plate in half.

Remus put his fork down, looking intently at Harry, knowing it was best way to get his attention. "Let's make a deal, yeah? Finish your dinner, take a bath…and I'll read you one of Sirius' motorbike magazines." Remus raised one eyebrow and winked as Harry's pout turned into a smile, laughing as Harry proceeded to stuff his mouth with vegetables.

Finding it odd that Sirius hadn't interrupted him, Remus turned to look at him and came face to face with Sirius' eyes fixed on him, his hand lazily holding his fork and playing with the food on his plate. It was only when Sirius' tongue slid out to wet his bottom lip when Remus decided it was best to look away from the sight.

It was better to watch Harry bounce happily in his seat, head moving sideways as he moved his arms in a strange dancing motion to a tune Remus knew only the little boy could hear in his head. Harry was very much like Sirius.

After the plates were placed in the sink, Sirius chose to bathe Harry (Remus knew it was so they could continue their tree house conversation in private) while he went to choose a magazine that had less pictures of nude women and more of shiny, new motorbikes.

By the end of the night, Remus was completely exhausted. Harry was the equivalent to three children in terms of energy and curiosity. It didn't help that Sirius was almost a kid himself, often sitting under a table with Harry, planning a grand adventure where the two of them would endanger their lives to rescue someone from the grasp of an evil king.

It was exhausting, but nothing, nothing would ever make Remus change his life from the way it was now.

After his bath Remus read to Harry, teaching him the names to various brands of motorbikes and answering the dozen questions he had before finally Harry's head was laying fully on Remus' chest, hand clutching at Remus' shirt.

Creeping quietly downstairs, Remus leaned on the doorway to watch Sirius putting away the food that was leftover, often taking a bite from a piece of chicken or carrot before putting it away. Sirius went through the biggest adjustment in his short life when they were given custody of Harry. The idiot didn't even know how to properly warm a bottle of milk.

Remus was pulled out of his musings when Sirius turned, licking his fingers in a way that made Remus thankful that Harry was gone and asleep, away from the obscene display as Sirius sucked his entire middle finger his own mouth. Wordlessly, they moved towards each other, meeting in the middle of the kitchen and kissing the moment they were close enough to grab each other.

"God, I love it when I see with you with Harry," breathed Sirius against Remus' mouth. He pushed Remus back against the kitchen table, stopping his abrupt motions when the table scrapped along the stone floor of the house, loud enough to wake a rowdy seven year old.

Once they'd made sure Harry hadn't woken up, Sirius arranged himself between Remus' thighs, lifting one of Remus' legs to get closer. Sirius was grateful Remus was only wearing a flimsy t-shirt instead of his usual jumper, making it easier for him to pull it off and resume his kissing. Remus began to rut against Sirius hard, mouth working over Sirius neck with harsh bites and painfully sucking the skin into his mouth.

Remus only managed to gasp when he was spun around in a blink of an eye, pants already down and shirt laying on top of the table, discarded. He bent to lean on the table top right as Sirius pushed into him, muffling a moan against the crook of his arm as Sirius put all his weight into the thrust.

Spreading his legs wide only made Remus lower his position on Sirius' cock, a hand reaching around and back to hold onto Sirius thigh when Sirius began to fuck him fast and hard against the table. A moan finally escaped Remus' mouth when Sirius began to thrust in quick succession, then pulling out and slamming back in again.

"Wanted you during dinner," grunted Sirius against Remus' neck. "Going to fuck you all night because of that." Vaguely, Remus only knew that Sirius always kept his word, and all thought was lost when Sirius' hand trailed over the back of his thighs, across his back to secure themselves around the base of Remus' neck.

Sirius held Remus firmly as he continued to fuck him, breath coming out in harsh pants while Remus raised himself from the table top, whimpering as he pushed himself back against Sirius cock. It was too much, Sirius' crude display at dinner and the overall sexual tension they had every time they waited for Harry to go to sleep that made Remus moan out his orgasm. Sirius finished not long after, a sign he was more than aroused since he usually kept going for a while after Remus was finished.

Just as Sirius was about to kiss Remus again, they heard the door on the second floor open, Harry's door.

Harry was awake.

Remus slid off the table and Sirius barely managed to sit and hide his exposed cock when Harry's wild haired head came into view from the top of the landing. "S'rs, I'm thirsty," he mumbled sleepily.

Sirius cleared his throat before answering, "I'll be right up. Get back into bed, love. Go on…" He let out a lung full of air as Harry's door clicked shut, looking under the table to find Remus naked and sweaty. "That was close."

It took a while for Remus to loosen up and admit that it was indeed funny, embarrassing but funny. And Sirius kept his promise, fucking Remus until his body had no other option but to fall asleep after the last orgasm, despite Sirius' libido which wanted to go for another round.

But Sirius didn't mind, not when he woke up to find Harry laying on top of Remus as they both slept peacefully next to him. They'd work on Harry's tree house today, which meant Harry would be exhausted by the end of the day. Which meant he'd go to bed early.

Which meant Sirius would have Remus all night again, no interruptions.

It was going to be a good day.


I'll just go away and cry over how beautiful my boys and their boy would be together :')

Thoughts?