A/N: So after watching some terrible sad and wonderful Supernatural fan videos, I decided to let my angst be free and write me a story. This one-shot dripping with feelings is what came out. This takes place right after Castiel walks out of the panic room rolling up his sleeve in the episode "Like a Virgin". I thought everyone gave Dean a hard time about getting Sam soul back, and he never really explained why, so here's his chance! I only chose poor Cas as the one he vents on because I thought Castiel would ask the right questions… and because he was an easy target. I'm such a mean author. XD Sorry if it lack description, I was mostly focused on dialogue for this one. Anyways, it's pretty ambitious for me; let me know if I got succeeded here! (:
P.S.- The song Some Nights by Fun. was running through my head as I wrote this if you're interested. Also, one of the amazing Supernatural videos I was watching with said song was this one: watch?v=28HKbCRA1vs&list=PL64C88FB7554CECAD&index=21&feature=plpp_video
Castiel walked out of the room, and shut the heavy metal door quietly. He paused for a moment, and then turned and dipped his head towards Dean. In the dim lighting Castiel's face must have truly looked like that of an avenging angel.
"Sam is still asleep. His soul is back. I'm not sure what good it will do, seeing as the torture and pain he's went through might have erased his entire essence. May I be honest with you?" Castiel asked bluntly, an inadvertently angry look still cast on his face.
Dean was already stressed and on edge, and he wished Castiel would just spit it out. He knew he probably wouldn't like the question, but he was just so tired. After everything he had gone through, Dean just couldn't bring himself to care. He squared his footing the dusty basement floor.
"Yes." Dean ground out from behind clenched teeth.
"After all you have gone through to protect you brother, why are you risking his life like this?" Castiel asked, his voice sharp and deep, the way it got when he was angry.
"Why? Because that thing walking around isn't my brother! None of you seem to get that. It might as well be his corpse with a computer stuck in his head. He watched me get turned into a freak'en monster because it seemed more logical at the time. If there was any ounce of Sam left in there, do you think he'd do that? No! So the way I see it, I'm not risking anything here. I'm getting Sammy back. Why? Because he's my brother and I swore long before I met you that I would protect him. Maybe he'll come back beaten and with an extra side of Hell, but how's that any worse than letting him stay down there for an eternity? He fought off the Devil himself to save the world, and sacrificed his world doing it. If anyone doesn't deserve to be where he was, it's him. I'm not trying to save Sam for myself, but because I always promised him I'd do it, whether he liked it or not. " Dean let lose, no holds bared, meaning every word he spoke. Each syllable seemed to hold some kind of deeper pain that there simply wasn't words for, but somehow his voice created a representation for them.
"I understand what your reasons are, Dean But what if the soul you had Death back is so eroded it is no longer your brother?" Castiel voice had lost none of its hardness, but his words were quieter; and it was somehow less of a rhetorical question then his last.
The heat left Dean's eyes, draining out like rain through a gutter. Castiel could tell the question he had asked wasn't one Dean hadn't already spent hours beating his mind with, sitting on his bed and staring at a wall and wondering if doing this would make him the one to kill Sam. He read in Dean's eyes that it didn't matter if they didn't like that they saw, Dean couldn't leave Sammy to only degrade more in that cage. Dean smiled slightly; a bitter smile, but not entirely. It spoke faintly of a wisp a childhood memories found only in the corner of the mind. The ones that made Dean smile, and think that if he ever has had a home in his life, it hasn't been a house.
It's been Sammy.
"Any part of Sam left, damaged or not, will always be my brother."
