A/N: So this just came into my head and wouldn't leave me alone. I wrote this much in a spane of three days because I wanted to make sure I got some of the information right. Anyways this first chapter is told in Horatio's POV.
One Regret
My life has always been a challenge, filled with obstacles at every turning point. The abuse I took from my father as a child led me to becoming an officer of the law instead of taking the alternative route and being like him. This however is not my regret in life. It starts in January of '76. I had just turned twenty, had just become an officer for New York city, when I met her, Gina Bianchi. She was school teacher, she had called 911 to report a disturbance, a father was trying to take his kid even though he had a restraining order against him. My training officer and I were the ones to arrive on scene first and dealt with it. She thanked us a million times over. My training officer told me that I should watch it and not get too involved.
I didn't listen to him though Gina and I ended up seeing each there was an instant connection between us. We moved fast and I proposed to her on her birthday, a warm June day and we than married that very same year in November. Things were off to a good start and I thought things could only get better and for awhile they did.
It was mid June of '77 when Gina announced to me that she was pregnant, she was pregnant with our first child and I couldn't think of anytime I had been happier. The pregnancy went normally for the most part. We found out that it was going to be a boy and that since he was conceived in mid May that we could expect the birth to happen some time in late January or early February. He ended it up being born in mid January which had scared Gina and I, because he was our first and was a couple of weeks early, but things turned out to be okay. We named him Nathaniel and he was such a cute bundle of joy.
Gina's older brothers Anthony and Lyle were just as excited about being Uncles as we were being parents. Her mother Monica fawned over Nathaniel and didn't miss at pointing out that he had my bright blue eyes.
Gina took time off and I kept working harder than ever. I had only been working as an officer two years when Nathaniel was born and I wanted to be a Detective more than ever. After Nathaniel turned two, Gina went back to teaching. She'd leave Nathaniel at the child care located right at the school while working and would spend her lunch break with him. The more he grew the more he looked like his mother, but no matter how much I denied it how much I said he was his mother's son, someone would bring up the fact that he had my eyes.
At three he was just mastering how to walk and starting to run around, he was still learning to master some words, but could generally talk. He had the hardest time with his uncles names, Gina's brothers. He'd pronounce Tony 'ony and Lyle 'ia. It was the year '81, crimes were on a rise and I was Detective at this point. It was July 4th , I had the day off and we were heading to Gina's mothers to be with her family. Nathaniel had been excited all week and the car ride over he had been cute and amusing. I remember him saying he wanted to see the fireworks, but he couldn't say fireworks and said 'ireurks instead. I had to tell him that he wouldn't be able to see the fireworks until it was dark out. I remember him giving off a small huff of impatients in his carseat.
Later that night after the fireworks had stared his eyes widened in terror and shock and buried his head into my arm. I asked him what was wrong and he said that the fireworks were loud and scary, once again pronouncing fireworks 'ireurks. It was late anyways so I took him into the house and he did that cute thing that toddlers do where they grasp and ungrasp your cloths as you hold them. I put him to bed in the guest room Monica and set up for Gina and I. That's when I got a call that I was needed at a crime scene because they were short handed. I told Gina and she said it was alright, that she'd have one of her brothers drive her and Nate home in the morning. Little did I know that would be the last time I saw Gina.
Anthony had been the one driving her and Nate home. Both Gina and Anthony died, my son was the only survivor in that vehicle. We found out later that it wasn't an accident at all someone had deliberately crashed into them. The only problem was, whoever had caused the crash had run from the scene.
I tried to raise Nathaniel by myself, it was alright for awhile, but than someone took him and his fellow preschoolers hostage. The man was threatening the life of my son because he wanted something from me. We got every preschooler back safely. When I was reunited with my son. I held him tight and didn't want to let go, but I realized that my son's life was threatened because of me. My wife and her brother had probably died because of the same reason. I had to protect my son at all costs. I had to do it soon before his memories got stronger and clearer.
I decided to put him up for adoption that November of '81. It was also my first anniversary without my wife. I told the adoption agency I wanted to approve of the family and that if the family wanted to change his first name they could. The family I ended up approving of had two older boys and another on they way. At first I wasn't so sure, the father was a cop and I was doing this to protect my son. I decided that it would be alright that they were already raising two boys without any trouble. They did end up renaming. It was after the man who adopted him. They felt it was the best way to hide him. Who would suspect an adoptive kid to be named after people that weren't his real parents.
Monica was furious with me at first. She said she'd already lost her daughter and one of her sons. She didn't want to lose her grandson as well. I told her I did it for his protection. She didn't come around right away, but she soon understood why I did what I did.
The family would occasionally send me a picture and letter on how he was doing. I was surprised the first time it happened, but grew use to it. Every time I got a photo he got older and looked more and more like his mother.
In '91, in my attempt to move on from Gina who I had lost ten years ago at this point. I met a woman named Julia, it didn't last long though it was a one time thing.
In the fall of '92 I got word from Nate's adoptive parents that he had asked them if he was adopted. They told me that they had confirmed that he was, but had told him that it didn't matter who his real parents were. I felt horrible for a moment, but reminded myself I was protecting him. They also informed me that he was an avid reader which I found amusing because he use to have so much trouble with words.
Later I was told he was pretty short for awhile, but shot up in the summer between his Sophomore and Junior year that would have been the summer of '94.
It was getting harder and harder to watch Nathaniel grow up from a distance. It was the fall of '95 and he was entering his senior year. My son was seventeen. Meanwhile I was working a batch of serial killings, where happily married couples were slaughtered while their children were locked in closets. If that wasn't the worst part my partner was having an affair with a married woman. When his mistress and husband wound up dead and I was seriously wounded, I discovered he was at fault for his mistresses death, but had made it look like it was this serial killer. As soon as I healed up I quiet and left New York. I was leaving behind Nate, but he was getting older. He was a seventeen year old asking his adoptive parents everyday who his real parents were. Plus it was too hard to sit on the sidelines leaving made it easier.
It wasn't till ten years later I would see him again. I had to go to New York to help track down Henry Darius and the man who killed Lydia Johnson. On the plane ride over I hadn't expected that I would see him. I was thinking about him, seeing if I could find to see what he was doing, but I never expected to see him at the Endicott estate. My son had become a Detective. I worked with Stella Bonasera because I knew if I worked with him it would make it harder for me to go back to Miami.
I have tried to move on many times. There was Rachel and Marisol, but it seems everyone I care about winds up dying because of me.
It's now been a little over two years since I last saw my son and I've found out that I have another son, his name is Kyle. It's odd though how one son is a Detective and my other made some mistakes. I raised Nathaniel for the first three years of his life and now I can try to help Kyle out for his remaining years as a teen.
In ways I regret doing it, because I never got to raise Nathaniel like I should have been able to. In other ways I don't because I protected him from danger for as long as I could. Now their lives have been threatened by a man who is taunting me. He knows about Nathaniel when no one but the agency, his adoptive parents, and I should know and he's hinted that he knows about Kyle. One thing's for sure, I'll protect both my sons at all costs.
A/N: So that was the first chapter. should I do the next chapter from "Nathaniel's" POV or go into the story. Either way if I don't do Nathaniel's POV now it will be at the end of the story. Does anyone know who Nathaniel is? I tried to make it as decret as possible until it got towards the middel where I dropped the big bombshell hints at who Nathaniel was now. Any way please review. StoryDreamer
