Shepard was lying on her bed, wearing a blue tank top and shorts. Her eyes were shut, and her hair fell in loose strands around her face. Her profile was illuminated in the blue-white glow of the fish tank, the only source of light in the room. Shepard was quiet, but Garrus could hear the way her breathing hitched and shuddered. He noticed the glistening of tears under her eyelids.

How could he do this? How could he treat her this way?

Garrus's mind wandered back to the colony on Horizon. He remembered the way Shepard had smiled when she saw Kaidan; relief and happiness evident in her face. Then he thought about the malicious words Kaidan had spouted at her, and he felt angry all over again.

You turned your back on everything we believed in…you betrayed the Alliance, you betrayed me.

It had been all Garrus could do not to shoot him right then and there. Kaidan had, supposedly, loved Shepard, so why would he talk to her like that? How could anyone say such cruel things to someone they cared for?

In front of the other crew, Shepard acted as if it didn't bother her. She had been quiet during the debriefing, but she said she was just tired and was going to turn in early.

Garrus knew her better than that. He had come up to her cabin not long after to see if she was okay, and found her lying in the dark, her whole body shuddering with suppressed tears. Shepard had looked up at him when he walked in, but instead of greeting him she only moved over so he had space to sit next to her on the bed. Garrus didn't know what, if anything, he could say to relieve her pain. So, he sat next to her in silence.

Shepard's terminal beeped twice, and the screen lit up to alert her of an incoming message. Garrus waited to see if she would get up, but she only crossed her arms over her eyes as if she was trying to block out the world. Garrus reached out his hand, meaning to touch her arm in an attempt to be comforting, but paused. He didn't understand humans and their emotions, and touching might not be welcome in this situation. So, he dropped his hand and turned around. Garrus didn't mean to look. Really. But as he turned around the blinking message caught his eye.

New Message

From: Kaidan Alenko

Subject: About Horizon…

Garrus glanced at Shepard again, but she still had not moved.

What could he possibly have left to say?

Was it more angry remarks about Shepard's loyalties, personality, motives? Was it an apology? A confession of love? Garrus knew he shouldn't, but he had to know. Slowly, so Shepard wouldn't notice, he moved over to the terminal and opened the message.

From: Kaidan Alenko

Subject: About Horizon…

Shepard,

I'm sorry for what I said back on Horizon. I spent two years pulling myself together after you went down with the Normandy. It took me a long time to get over my guilt for surviving and move on. I'd finally let my friends talk me into going out for drinks with a doctor on the Citadel. Nothing serious, just trying to let myself have a life again, you know?

Then I saw you, and everything pulled hard to port. You were standing in front of me, but you were with Cerberus. I guess I really don't know who either of us is anymore. Do you even remember that night before Ilos? That night meant everything to me…maybe it meant as much to you. But a lot has changed in the last two years and I can't just put that aside.

But please be careful. I've watched too many people close to me die – on Eden Prime, on Virmire, on Horizon, on the Normandy. I couldn't bear it if I lost you again. If you're still the woman I remember I know you'll find a way to stop these Collector attacks. But Cerberus is too dangerous to be trusted. Watch yourself.

When things settle down a little…maybe…I don't know. Just take care.

- Kaidan

Garrus read and re-read the message several times.

Is he serious?

Kaidan attacked Shepard, called her a traitor and a liar, blamed her for the Collector attacks, and then sent her this?

Does he think he's the only one who felt guilty after the Normandy went down, the only one who grieved Shepard's loss?

This is what he considers an apology?

Shepard already blamed herself for everything going wrong in the galaxy; she already tried to fix everyone else's problems while ignoring her own. She did not need this kind of stress in her life. Kaidan's letter was, as humans say, bullshit. What was that bit about going out with a doctor on the Citadel? Spirits, why would he bring that up? It was as if he was trying inflict more pain than he already had.

Garrus looked at Shepard. He could only see the bottom half of her face. Her lips were set in a tight line as she tried, but failed, to stop the stream of tears escaping her eyes. He turned back to the monitor and looked at the message again.

Was he drunk when he wrote this?

It doesn't matter. Give the message to Shepard.

Hell, if Shepard wanted to forgive Kaidan based on this pathetic excuse for an apology, it was none of Garrus's business. He knew this, but the thought of it twisted his stomach into knots. If this was how Kaidan insisted on treating her, the only woman in the galaxy who was this generous and kind-hearted and brave…

Kaidan doesn't deserve her.

Garrus didn't give it a second thought before he extended his arm, click one button, and deleted the message. As long as Garrus was involved, Kaidan would never get the chance to hurt Shepard like this again. Ever.

Not on my watch.