Hello people out there. This is another joint project of me, Tiger-Cub684 and my friend discombobulated.shoe. If you have not yet read our other work, the Marauder Advice Thingy, I suggest you do so. you will find it from discombobs' profile page. This chapter was written by me, but the next one will be the work of discombob. I hope you all enjoy it, and please remember to Read and Review.

Tiger-Cub684

Disclaimer: The devilshly handsome characters in this fic are the product of J.K.Rowling and no-one else. I could never come up with someone so hot.


Wizzards Of Hogs

Chapter 1

James lay there, on the grass, being warmed by the morning sun, thinking about many things. James was a thinker. As much as he loved to pull pranks with his mates, especially when they involved making Snape look like the greasy rat he is, James still liked to take time away from Sirius and the others, so he could have time to think.

At this time, James was thinking about his favourite topic. Lily Evans. Ever since he had first laid eyes on her, on the Hogwarts Express right before First Year, he had adored her. But for some reason, unbeknown to him, every time he had asked her out, she had always rejected him. These days, all she ever did was give him the look a said 'what do you think, idiot!' It was not a good look.

'I just don't understand it'. James thought. 'All the other girls would kill to go out with me, and why shouldn't they, but I just can't get the one girl I really want; Lily.'

"Oi, James." Cried a voice, rudely bringing James back from his thoughts.

"What is it Sirius?" he asked, sad that his 'thinking time' was over.

"We got Quidditch practice in ten minutes, you'd better get ready!" replied an excited Sirius. Just thought of flying up high in the air, leaving all his troubles on the ground, made Sirius' blood tingle with anticipation.

"Alright, coming," Said James, getting up.

"I hear Evans might be watching today." Said Sirius.

"Then what are we waiting for!" exclaimed James, suddenly excited, "Lets go!"


Flying through the air, James was in his element. He loved Quidditch. It was his favourite thing, after Lily. As a Seeker, James always felt like the most important person on the field. On of the best things about Quidditch, was that he got to play alongside his best mate Sirius. They had been friends since the first day of First Year. They were so close that Sirius even spent most summers staying with James. Because of the whole thing with Sirius' family, he barely ever stayed with them if he could help it. Sirius hated his family.

As it turned out, Lily did not come to watch the Gryffindor team practice. Maybe Sirius had just said that to make him feel better. James needed it after what had happened.

It was terrible, someone had posted pictures of Lily's underwear all over the school, with the words "James Potter was here" scrawled all over it. He had been framed. James considered Lily a Goddess, and would have been the last person to do such a thing. It was blasphemy. But that was not the way Lily saw it. She did not believe his pleas of innocence for one second. It was well known that James and Sirius liked to pull pranks, but this was stupid. It was child's play. They had moved on from embarrassing pictures back in the Second Year. This was an insult to their work. Because of this incident, Lily now refused to even look at James directly. Things had never been worse.

But that was unimportant for now. Now was the time for Quidditch. Not for problems. As the team's unofficial code stated, "Leave all your problems and worries on the ground. There is no place for them in the sky".

Sirius was worried. His best friend had been feeling down all week because of the Incident. He swore that if he ever found who had put those pictures up, he would beat the magic out of him. That and make him tell Sirius how he had gotten into Lily's underwear drawer without being noticed, just for future reference.

Sirius was so distracted, that he was almost knocked off his broom by a bludger. He only managed to hit it away at the last minute.

'So that's why we're supposed to follow the code' he thought.


The cackling of the common room fire always calmed Remus. He wasn't sure why, but there was nothing as relaxing as settling down with a good book, on one of the comfy couches, in front of the Gryffindor fire. Remus always did this when James and Sirius were at Quidditch practice. They thought he was doing homework, but he had done it all ages ago. The only reason he didn't tell them this was so they didn't make him sit out there, in the cold rain, and watch them, as they often did with Peter.

At this point, Peter was playing exploding snap with a second year, and loosing. Not that it mattered. All Remus cared about at this point was that he had a couple hours of peace to read without Sirius always bugging him for History notes.

He heard the portrait swing open, followed by the cheery voices of his friends.

'Oh well' he sighed, 'It's a shame how quickly time flies when I read'


"Okay men, here's the plan" Sirius started, his voice full of excitement, as it always is when he is unveiling a new plot of mischief, "In one hour, I repeat, one hour, we will leave this dormitory with…"

"My invisibility cloak and my broom" Said James

"The Map and the trap spell" Said Remus,

"My shoes!" Cried Peter.

"Err, alright, good, we have everything." Started Sirius, "When we leave the dorm with all those things, we then put on the cloak and go down into the entrance hall and outside. From there we use the map to find ourselves directly outside the Gryffindor girl's dormitories. Then James, you take the trap spell and the cloak, get on your broom and fly up to Lily's dorm's window. You then sneak inside, and plant the trap spell in her underwear draw, sneak back out, fly to us and then we sneak back to our dorms before anyone notices we were gone. Very simple."

"Just one question" inquired Remus, "what's the point to all this, I mean, surely there's another way to clear our names?"

"What are you talking about Moony? This is the only way. The fact that we have to sneak around invisible is just an added bonus." Said Sirius, matter-of-factly

"So their no chance of just sneaking upstairs and planting the spell then, instead of all this flying?" Remus asked carefully

"NO" shouted Sirius

"Just asking" said Remus in a small voice.


It was midnight. The marauders had set out as planned, and were crossing the common room as Remus asked,

"Wouldn't Lily prefer if we just stayed out of her underwear draw?"

"You've got a point there" said James

"What, of course not, I'm sure Lily would be honoured that we, the great marauders, are taking pity in her loss and are helping her out" said Sirius, trying to win back James

"Oh yea, I guess so" he agreed

"It would be in your best interests never to tell her about all this James, if you do eventually go out with her" said Peter, saying the smartest thing that had ever left his pale lips.

"Your probably right Petey ol' pal" commented James, dumbstruck of Peter's sudden wisdom.


It wasn't long until the Marauders expertly reached the large doors in the entrance hall, having followed their beloved map to keep away from anyone else strolling the corridors that night. They were about to open the doors when an unwanted figure came ambling towards them on the map.

"Oh no! Professor McGonagall! Don't move!" said James, in a furious whisper.

Sure enough, Professor McGonagall walked into the Main Hall just moments later. She scanned the room with her hawk-like eyes, and was about to turn and leave when…

"ACHOO!"

She spun around.

"Who's there! I demand to know who is there!" she shouted, her voice echoing off the walls.

She stared directly at the boys, making Sirius doubt wether they were still invisible.

"Professor!" shouted a voice from the corridor.

Filtch soon entered the icy room.

"Professor, there's a pair of Ravenclaw's missing from their dorms, Artimus Julay and Katrina Snub." He spat out in urgency.

"Well what are you waiting for, we must find them!" replied Professor McGonagall, chasing after Filtch down the corridor.

Moments later…

"Pete you are so dead! You almost got us caught!" exclaimed Sirius

"I'm sorry, I'm allergic to her" cried Peter

"Allergic to McGonagall, what a pathetic excuse!" shouted James

"Guys, we're running out of time, do you want to fly up to Lily's dorm or not!" asked Remus, hoping to move things along.

"Fine, let's go" said James, and the boys opened the door and ran out side.


The rest of the mission went off without a hitch. After locating Lily's dorm on the map, James flew up to the window with the cloak and the trap spell. He successfully snuck into her dorm and placed the spell in her underwear draw and managed to get back outside, resisting the temptation to watch her sleep. They had just snuck back into the entrance hall and closed the door when…

"Well, look what we have here…"


I hate cliffhangers as much as the next person, especially when the person who's supposed to write the next chapter is very easily distracted and will likely take forever. But with luck it will be here before we all die of old age. I hope you liked the chapter, and please stick around for the next one, when is comes. R&R.