CSI Crew: The Michael Jackson Controversy

Rating: Mature

Disclaimer: We own nothing!

Summary: The CSI crew and their partners in crime fighting on an average day... NOT.

A/N: Yes. Our hilarious story is out to get you! RAWR!


Catherine: Go get me a Dr.Pepper!

Sara: You go get your own Dr. Pepper, bitch!

Catherine: Don't call me a bitch, you gapped tooth whore!

Gasp

Gil: Whoa... whoa... ladies. I know you both want me, but this is getting out of hand.

Stares

Greg walks in

Greg: They don't want you! They want me!

Gil: Greg, please. You're too... nerdy.

Greg: Ha. You want to talk about nerdy?

Warrick and Nick walk in

Sara: Don't be callin' my man nerdy, you geek!

Catherine: Don't be callin' my man a geek, you brunette!

Warrick: Oh no you jus' did'n!

Snaps

Everyone stares

Brent walks in with chocolate milk

Brent: I know you ain't puttin' that rock up there! You ain't got no 'J'.

Meghan walks in and Brent trips her.

Meghan: Eh man! Tha's trippin!

Ashley walks in

Ashley: Brotha please! You're the one that's trippin!

Greg: Go on! Cry home to ya mamma! She waitin' for ya!

Brent: Now don't MAKE me put my size 13 up your narrow ass!

Brittney walks in with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Brittney: I don't sweat, you! Bring it on, bitch! Now how ya gonna act?

Silence

Everyone started dancing to: Earth, Wind, and Fire's -- Let's Groove. A disco ball lowers from the ceiling and everyone changes into cheesy 70's bell bottoms and plaid shirts.

Catherine accidently bumps into Sara, knocking her over.

Sara: Damnit! You're such a snob!

Slap

Catherine: You're such a cry baby.

Slap, slap

Music cuts off and Girl Fight by Brooke Valentine blasts

Group runs out for popcorn

A black board falls from the ceiling and Warrick is suddenly a teacher with dorky glasses taped in the middle

Warrick: Okay now students. Grab yourselves a nice seat, get our your notebook, sharpen your pencils-

Nick: Wait! Can I use a pen?

Brent: Ugh... no. Pens are for losers.

Brittney: Well why are you writing with one?

Ashley: Because only gangsta pants can write with pens.

Meghan: But I have pants...

Silence

Warrick: GET READY TOOOO BITCHHH FIGHHHT!

Nick: Why aren't I saying anything?

Meghan: Because you're from Texas!

Major gasp. Sara and Catherine stop fighting. Nick lunges at Meghan, but Gil and Greg to to stop him.

Greg: Gil! Let him go! We all know you want to rape Nick, but not tonight!

Catherine: The only person Gil wants to rape is me!

Brittney puts a hand on Meghan's shoulder

Brittney: Meghan, I want you.

Poke

Brittney: Stop touching me in in-appropiate places!

Nick: RAPE!

Catherine: Wait! I got raped! Sobs OH MY GOD! I GOT RAPED!

Gil: No, no, baby. You weren't raped.

Brent: Na, na, na, na, naaa naa. Catherine got rapppped.

Ashley: Shut up! Whack

Brent: Don't hit me, L36! Whack

Meghan looks sideways at Brittney

Slap

Brittney: Ouch!

Slap, slap, slap, punch

Greg: Rape sounds like grape.

Nick: Because it's the root word. Dummy.

Brent and Ashley: Roooooots.

Gil: ANT!

Ashley: SHOOT IT!

Warrick grabs his gun and rolls on the floor

Bang bang bang bang bang BANG BOOM!

Atomic bomb.

Brittney: Is it dead?

Catherine: RAPE!

Gil: You shot the ant, Warrick. YOU'RE FIRED!

Drops to knees

Warrick: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Ashley: Crime scene! Get the tape!

Greg comes back with tape. Nick cuts off a piece and places it around the ant's smoldering body

Sara: I need some gloves! Gloves people!

Meghan comes back with Michaeal Jackson

Michael Jackson: What color glove do you want, sweetie?

Scream. Everyone runs out of the room

Micheal Jackson: Oh em gee! Wait up you guys! I didn't get a chance to RAPE you!

While running

Catherine: RAPE! Sobs

Gil: You S.O.B! Don't say rape!

Catherine: RAPE! Sobs

Hits his forehead

Warrick: We're never going to get rid of him! Looks back at Micheal Jackson who's running after them in a stripping outfit and a white glove.

Greg: We're going to have to sacrifice someone.

Brittney: Not it!

Sara, Nick, Warrick, and Gil: Not it!

Brent and Ashley: Not it!

Greg: Well... Catherine, looks like you you're lucky-

Catherine: NOT IT!

Greg: DAMNIT!

Micheal Jackson: Ooooo Greggy! C'mere with your big, sexy hair!

Greg: RUN!

MJ starts singing, Can You Feel It

They run outside of the lab and lock the doors from the outside. Micheal is trapped inside the lab and cries as he watches the group walk across the street and on to the Strip.

Ashley pointed to a guy handing out flyers in a chicken costume

Meghan: CHICKEN! Let's go kick it in the nuts and see if it clucks!

Gil: My guess is that it will do more than-

The kids run up to the guy and kick him repeaditly in the jewls. He falls to the ground, gasping for air and clentching the flyers in his hands.


A/N: Tell us how ya like it...