A/N: This one shot is the last in a series I did called The Digression Series (available on my profile). Basically, it's what happens in my head when I write a Bones fan fic. If you've not read the previous one shots in the series, some of the references might not make sense. In any case, what you need to know is that the comments outside the actual story not in "quotes" are the author speaking to the characters. Hope it's not too confusing for you.
This was written as part of a birthday present for the wonderful, kind, endlessly patient Rynogeny. Hopefully her day is everything she deserves and more.
The Digression in the Fifth Decade
"Bones, have you seen my phone?" Booth stepped into their living room, having turned over every other room in their home looking for his cell. He watched for a moment as Brennan settled Christine in her pack and play before repeating his question in a softer voice.
Brennan put her hands on her hips and turned in a circle. "No, Booth. I haven't seen your phone since this morning."
"You mean when you snatched it from me." Booth gave her a knowing smile as he settled on the sofa, close enough to the playpen to watch his daughter sleep peacefully.
"I did no such thing!" Brennan protested immediately, a flush crossing her cheeks.
Booth clicked his tongue against his teeth in that infuriating way that Brennan knew meant he was about to reveal something about her that he knew to be true, and that she was going to deny. "You just wanted to delete that picture of you getting out of the shower yesterday."
"You can't have something like that on your phone, Booth!" Her immediate protest made him grin, which only made her madder. "I am a world renowned anthropologist and a well-known author, if that picture got into the wrong hands, Booth…"
"Oh ho! So your picture of me and my big…omelet…that picture would be okay out in the world?"
Maybe you both should just delete the pictures.
"What are you doing here?"
Geez, Booth. It's nice to see you, too.
"Well, you have to admit…we don't have the best relationship."
Sure we do! Why would you say that?
"Come on…really? Do I have to list everything you've done to me?"
"Booth, its fan fiction. Sometimes, certain scenarios are required in order to move the narrative outside the canon storylines. You know that."
"But Bones, she does mean things to me! She had me cheating on you! With Angela! And then I blew my head off. That's…its wrong, that's what it is."
"But Booth, she also imagined a story in which I had an affair with Hannah, and she and I ended up together."
"Bones…what are you looking so…hey! What are you smiling about?"
Um…guys? Look, I know that neither of you would cheat, okay? Sometimes it's just fun to shake things up. And I did write a one shot where you had a threesome with Hannah, so…I try to make things even.
"Now you've got a smile on your face, Booth. See? Outside the drawer is fun sometimes."
Box, Brennan. Outside the box.
"Thank you."
Anytime.
"Will you two quit being so nice to each other? And quit correcting her colloquialisms! That's my job, I've told you that!"
"Booth, relax. Besides, I believe that we were going to have make-up sex very soon, so you should probably focus on that."
"Really? Awesome. Make-up sex is the best."
Well, actually…I hadn't planned on there being sex in this one.
"Hey! You can't do that, isn't this supposed to be for Cindee's birthday? And isn't it supposed to be filled with sex, like that crappy set of books?"
"What crappy books?"
"Bones! Angela gave you all three of them…the 50 Shades of Grey books?"
"Oh. Those. No, I couldn't read more than a few chapters. The writing was pedestrian, the syntax was like a child's and the male protagonist was a misogynistic, abusive beta male with a Napoleon complex and a marked lack of imagination. Much like the story line for the books themselves."
Amen, sister. They're horrible.
"But then, why do so many women think the guy is hot?"
Your guess is as good as mine.
"Maybe we should ask Sweets. It seems like something he would be able to guess about."
Poor Sweets. He is a pretty smart kid, Brennan.
"I am aware of Doctor Sweets' credentials and intellect. However, he has chosen to waste those acquired skills in a discipline that is specious at best. I cannot be blamed for stating the obvious."
"Bones, Sweets has been right about more than he's been wrong. In fact, I can't remember the last time he gave us a profile that was wrong."
You know, we've sort of gotten off track here. And yes, I know it's my fault. All I wanted to suggest was that maybe your naked pictures should be deleted, both of them, and then maybe you can move past this whole thing.
"It's a good suggestion, Bones. She is pretty smart."
You don't have to suck up, Booth. I'm not going to give you a tiny blue penis again.
"I wasn't-oh, hell. Alright, I might have been doing a little kissing up. But you know it's not without reason."
Oh, I know. And I've apologized about that. That last one, anyway.
"Even I have to admit, giving Booth gastrointestinal distress was a little cruel."
I said I was sorry!
"I know, I just don't believe you are really, truly, sorry. You derived entirely too much amusement at Booth's expense for me to accept your remorse as sincere."
Really, Brennan? You're going to go that way? Fine.
"Uh oh, Bones…I think you've angered the gods."
Brennan's mouth twitched in amusement at Booth's innuendo before she could stop it. "Booth, that particular picture would only serve to enhance your status."
"And yours wouldn't?" At her eye roll, Booth sat up to protest. "Bones!" His eyes roamed slowly from her legs to her face, taking in every dip and curve of her body. "Babe, you are gorgeous. Anyone would be lucky to get to see you naked. And me?" He stood and cupped her hips, sexy smile firmly in place. "I am the lucky SOB who gets to see you naked every day for the rest of our lives."
Brennan's eyes were hooded, and a look Booth couldn't identify crossed her features. "You really believe that, don't you? That we're going to be together forever."
"I do." He responded, flushing when he realized how he had phrased his response and how much it paralleled what he eventually wanted to say to her in front of everyone they cared for.
Brennan gnawed on her bottom lip for a moment before giving herself a slight nod. "Alright, then. I cannot deny that your faith in us gives me the same feeling." She placed her hand in the middle of Booth's chest and gently pushed, forcing him to sit heavily on the sofa. With a grace Booth couldn't help but admire, she dropped herself into his lap, one knee on each side of his hips, straddling him.
Booth exhaled shakily as Brennan reached up and placed her hands on his face, cradling him gently. "I love you, Booth. You know that." He nodded slowly. "And you know that while I am desirous of our relationship continuing into the foreseeable future, I cannot promise anything like forever. I am not comfortable making promises when I have no control over whether I can keep them."
Booth gave her an indulgent smile. "I know that, Bones. It's one of the many reasons why I love you."
"And your acceptance of who I really am is why I am comfortable saying what I am about to say." Brennan took a deep breath, let herself relax, and locked wide, honesty-filled eyes with her partner. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Beyond all the science I've ever learned or discovered, beyond all reason and logical thought, your presence in my life is something I cannot be without. I want you here, sitting with me after we return from work. Making dinner together, making grocery lists together…" She glanced at the playpen where Christine continued to sleep peacefully. "…making children together, making love together…it is everything I've ever wanted but never thought I could have." She kissed him softly. "And you gave that to me, Booth. Without doubt, without hesitation…even through our missteps, our mistakes, our distance from each other, we always managed to find our way back to this." She ignored the sharp prick of tears that threatened as she gazed into Booth's equally wet eyes. "I can't explain it, and I find that I do not need to. For the first time in my life, I don't need nor do I require science to quantify something for me. You are everything that I need to be happy, and I cannot imagine that ever changing. And I want to be that for you…for as long as we both live. And I want to let everyone else know that it is my job, my responsibility, my choice, my…" Her breath hitched with emotion. "My honor, to be your mate."
Booth gave her a watery smile, and tried to find his voice. "What are you saying here, Bones?"
Brennan knew he was going to make her verbalize it. And she had, admittedly, thought about the words she would use on more than one occasion. But the moment didn't require any more flowery prose or heartfelt declarations. It only required stark honesty. And that, she knew, was her specialty.
"Booth…marry me."
He leaned forward and captured her lips softly and with every ounce of love he felt for this incredible woman wrapped up in his arms. When they parted, he smiled and pressed his forehead against hers. She felt, rather than heard, his response as his breath ghosted across her slightly parted lips.
"Yes."
"Alright, this seems to be a more extreme action than anything you did to Booth."
Well, you have to admit, Brennan…it was a nice moment.
"Yes, well…okay. It was a very romantic moment."
"I know I liked it."
"Of course you did, Booth. You got what you wanted."
"Bones…you know I want what you want, right? And if…if this isn't what you want, no matter what some fan fiction writer does, it doesn't have to actually happen."
"But what if-what if I want it to happen?"
Really?
"Really?"
"Yes, really. It might not have been exactly what I would have said, but the sentiment is essentially the same. I love you, Booth. And I would be honored to marry you."
"I love you, too Bones. And I would be honored to marry you, too."
Well then, that settles it. I am awesome.
"You have done well, I will admit that."
"You really did. You more than made up for the whole blue penis thing."
"I concur. I find that I feel as though I am in your debt, however."
Nah, we're good. Although…
"Uh oh…I know that tone of voice. This isn't going to go well for me."
"Oh relax, Booth. I'm sure whatever she requires isn't that horrible."
Oh no, not at all. But, you know, you could forward that omelet picture to my phone. I promise I won't show it to anyone.
"I have your word?"
Definitely. I won't share it with another soul.
"We have a deal, then."
"Bones!"
