DISCLAIMER: Death Note and all canon characters belong to Ohba and Obata. The rest belongs to me.
WARNINGS: Mental torture, and spoilers for the Death Note ending and the real names of L, Mello and Near.
A/N: Wow, my first Death Note fanfic! XD (SPOILER AHEAD) This fic begins from where Light is about to die and goes on from there. This idea was really hard to just take out of my imagination and slap it on paper, so if anything confuses you, feel free to ask and I'll be happy to explain. :)
Anyway, I hope that you enjoy what my twisted mind has to deliver! XD
INTO THE VOID
The pain, it was everywhere. Every inch of his broken body ached with the excruciating agony that continued to tighten its merciless grip, numbing every other feeling and overwhelming his senses until it became the only thing that existed for him, the one delicate thread that still tied him to this material world. Along with it, he could also vaguely smell the stench of blood in the air, his blood; it oozed from his bullet wounds like rivulets, slowly but surely sucking out the life from his being.
It could not be long, now. Not long before death came for him, but –
No! That is impossible, he thought weakly, desperately trying to fight the pain. I'm Yagami Light. I beat L, the greatest detective in the world. I – I always win. Always. I won't lose to death here –
The mental words were abruptly cut short as his thoughts came to a standstill. Through the black haze that was steadily obscuring his vision, Light saw, with absurd lucidity, a person looming over him that he had been certain he would never see again. The man's obsidian eyes, ringed with dark circles, contemplatively watched the broken youth lying on the staircase through his unkempt black hair. His countenance still held the deceptive innocence that Light could remember with such clarity, and he stood unmoving and expressionless, looking strangely angelic in the dwindling sunlight.
The fear that shot through Light at the vision of him was nearly enough to override the physical torture his body was experiencing. This was the end; he realised that with absolute certainty this time. There would be no cheating here, no miraculous escape he could pull off. L was here and the message was obvious: death was on its way and his ruin was inevitable.
The thought had barely flickered across his mind before a sensation like having an icy hand plunging into his body washed over him. The fingers, ruthless but insubstantial like smoky tendrils, seemed to reach deeper within him. They dug into his heart, into the very core of his being until they closed around his soul. For a fraction of a second, his eyes focussed on L again, who was illuminated by the golden rays of the setting sun; it was the last thing Yagami Light saw before his soul was ripped from his body and the darkness, cold and unyielding, consumed everything...
The first thing that Light could register was the silence. It was profound and extreme; not a single sound was to be heard. But then again ... did he even have ears anymore? He could still remember the last few moments before everything had disappeared, and he knew that his life had been taken. Despite all his efforts, he had actually died and left his physical being behind on Earth. So, how could he have a body now, let alone any senses? Was it possible that, by some incredible chance, he was still alive?
Feeling a small of ray of hope, he tried to open his eyes – that is, if he had any to begin with. He was not sure if he had succeeded or not, but the next thing Light noticed was the utter ... well, blackness that he was in.
What? When had it...?
Why had he not noticed the darkness before? Had it been this dark the whole time ... but then, another thought occurred to Light; some intuition was telling him that it was not merely "darkness". He could find no words to classify it. There was some other power at work in this strange place.
But what place is this?
Never had Light known such confusion, and along with his perplexity came the inescapable fear of the unknown. A strange feeling, almost like he was being suffocated, came over him and he tried to run. He had to escape this place, whatever it was! Only ... he could not move. He could not even feel his limbs. It was like he was bound by some unseen force to this undefined blackness. There was no physical feel to it, but it still existed.
Slowly and gradually, the truth dawned on Light. I'm dead. He no longer had a body, but merely a sense of just being. Perhaps it was only his soul now; a soul that still carried the memories and temperament of Yagami Light. It was still him, but he was no longer a part of the living world. Shameful and degrading Death had brought him to this ... place.
'Humans that use Death Notes can never go to Heaven or Hell.'
That was what Ryuk had told him, wasn't it? So, this darkness was neither of those places, but what bothered Light was that he was still somewhere. Had not the Shinigami told him that he would simply become "nothing" when he finally died? His soul should have flickered out of existence, but he was still here even if he could not identify it! If he was no longer real, then his soul would not be feeling this fear, nor would it be experiencing sensations of nothingness even without the human senses...!
Wait...
Was that what Ryuk had meant – that his soul would still exist, but only in this strange domain that seemed to be made up of "nothing"? It made sense, Light supposed, in a rather twisted manner.
Am I to spend eternity here then? In this "nothing" where my soul more or less doesn't exist?
The only good thing that Light could see was that his soul was not in Hell. Perhaps he could tolerate this state of existing-but-not-existing more than the torture that hell-fire could wreak upon him.
Satisfied, he allowed peace to claim him. Yes, he could stay here forever, in this blackness where nothing was to be seen or heard ... just complete tranquillity ... maybe that was the Heaven that his soul needed after his ordeals on Earth...
The sentiment did not last. There was no sense of time here, but it did not feel long before the silence, that Light had been so convinced was a blessing, seemed to grow louder. It grew heavier and increasingly more oppressive, crushing down on him like a tidal wave. The impression of being suffocated overwhelmed him again, and he made to clamp his hands on his ears – only to remember that he no longer had his body; that it was only his soul now, which could apparently feel everything his body could have, but had no defences against their onslaught.
The silence was taking over ... he was being dragged under...
NO! Make it stop –!
As if an unseen deity had heard his plea, sound – sweet, blissful sound – washed over his ... ears? He brushed the question aside; Light could not care how his soul could hear it. What mattered was that it had come and swept away that unbearable silence. How could mere silence be so much more piercing than the loudest of noises?
At least the torture is over now, he mused, turning his attention to that hallowed sound.
It was at that moment that Fate decided to show Yagami Light just how wrong he was.
The comprehension of what exactly he was listening to dawned on him, slowly and agonizingly. If he still had eyes, they would have widened with the horror that consumed him one and whole when he realised what he was hearing...
Screams.
Fear.
Pain.
Regret.
The last moments and thoughts of his victims before he had so ruthlessly taken their lives; every single one replayed over and over again in his metaphorical ears, all of them clashing together and battling for dominance, and try as he might he could not block them out. Their cries at the agony that ripped through them before their souls were claimed – he had never heard such a torturous din and its sheer cruelty eclipsed the tormenting silence that he had suffered through before.
Light struggled to shake it off, unable to bear the pain he could hear in their voices, but if he had been hoping that his anguish would cease, he was proven wrong again.
The sound of screaming only grew louder, past the point of ear-deafening and still he could hear it clearly. It surrounded him completely, leaving him with no escape and, though he could not hear himself, he was screaming too, his figurative voice only an echo of theirs.
Enough! I beg you! No more...
The intensity of the torture only escalated. His soul felt like it was writhing in its agony despite the fact that it could not move in this nothingness. How had it happened? How could his torment have increased even more when it seemed so impossible?
As soon as the question arose, so did the answer. He was not only listening to their pain anymore; he could feel it as well, as if he was the one that had been killed in their stead. The agony ate at his soul, creeping over him like a corrosive acid and mixed with it came the other emotions his victims had been experiencing at the moment right before their deaths: heart-wrenching terror, shock and even regret – all of them blended together and thrice more powerful in their assault. It was like a physical force that bore into him with its sheer magnitude. He had never known that mere emotions could be so destructive.
His soul was still screaming under the weight of the onslaught, but his suffering did not end. How was he to endure an eternity of this? No, his soul could not possibly abide it...
Please ... have mercy! I cannot bear this...
The prayer had barely been formed when he saw him. Again, Light found himself unable to explain how it had happened; how he could "see" in this nothingness. But there was no mistaking the vision: bedraggled black hair, seemingly naïve features, and piercing onyx eyes that stared mockingly at him as if to say, What about the mercy you should have shown me? Did you show me any mercy?
NO!
The feeling that beat down on him – be it fear, pain or horror – was the nastiest, most terrible thing that Light had ever gone through. Nothing could be worse than this. Nothing! He could recall that moment now, when he had felt as if he were a true God: the instant he had seen L keel over from his chair; when his enemy had lain dying in his arms and stared at him with realisation in his eyes before they had been eternally closed. Yet, instead of the elation Light had felt at the time, what he felt now was the searing pain in L's heart and his last thoughts:
'I was right! Yagami Light was Kira all along ... and I have lost.'
L's suffering struck him like the wrath of God and his soul felt like it was being torn into pieces, but the agony did not abate, the torture never ended ... No, this was what he should have faced in Hell, not here; not in the nothingness. Ryuk had never mentioned...
But there was no point in fighting against it. His ill-made choices had led him here and nothing could save his soul. And so Yagami Light was left screaming and struggling, to be forever tortured by the pain he had inflicted on his victims and the lives he had taken. Redemption was beyond him now.
From afar, L Lawliet watched the fate of his murderer in the Realm of Nothingness. Satisfaction was the first thing that he felt because his death had been avenged, not only by his successors but in the afterlife as well. He had lost the game to Light at the moment of his demise, but after death, it was he, Lawliet, that had won in the end. His gratitude went out to Mihael Keehl and Nate River.
However, the pity that came next overshadowed his contentment, because he honestly had enjoyed the wit and companionship of Light while it had lasted. They had had a mutual understanding of each other and what they had shared had been friendship to an extent, albeit a strange one.
He sighed sadly as he turned away.
There would always be a part of L Lawliet that would long for a chance to have one last match of tennis with Yagami Light.
END
A/N: Yay, go me. I actually managed to write a one-shot that did not have a ridiculous amount of words. :P
OK, a little bit of an explanation: Ryuk said that Light would become nothing after he dies, but it has been proven in the manga/anime that he doesn't know everything concerning the Death Note and death, so he might not have known the details about what would have happened to Light after he kicks the bucket. This fic is an idea that my brain cooked up on that subject. Also, at the end, L is presumably in Heaven, but for the sake of the fic, let's just say that he could momentarily see Light's fate. :)
One more disclaimer: credit for the name "Realm of Nothingness" goes to Green. On. Black. who used it in his/her fic "Shinigami Babies" - which is nothing like this story and I recommend that you check it out; it is hilarious! XD
So, please leave a review and let me know what you thought of this one-shot, yeah? :)
