Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII, Chrono Trigger, Chrono Cross, and their characters, places, and situations are (C) copyright Square Enix. They are reproduced here for non-commercial entertainment. All other material is mine.
"In the real world, things are very different. You just need to look around you; nobody wants to die that way. People die of disease and accident. Death comes suddenly, and there is no notion of good or bad. It leaves, not a dramatic feeling, but a great emptiness. When you lose someone you love very much you feel this big empty space and think: 'if I had known this was coming, I would have done things differently.'" —Yoshinori Kitase, director/scenario planner, FFVII
Reno
I woke up on the worst day of my life whistling. I made eggs for one. I cleaned the kitchen. I sauntered down to climb in my little red hotter-than-hot rod and head to work. The souped-up engine sounded like a pack of restrained murderous cuahls, and limit-break-rainbow flames licked out of the tailpipe. Nothing if not flashy, like me.
I stopped off at Seventh Heaven along the way to hear the buzz from Tifa. Bartenders are the biggest gossips, swear to god, and since Cloud is apparently never gonna come around and start banging her, she's got too much time on her hands.
"Hey, Reno," said Tifa. "She's coming home today, huh?"
"Couldya tell?" I said innocently. I knew I was beaming fit to break my face.
She laughed. "I have got to play poker with you sometime. You're even easier to read than Yuffie, I swear!"
"Word to the wise—don't play with Rude," I warned her.
She rolled her eyes. "Now you tell me. Where were you a month ago with this information? Talk about a poker face!"
I laughed. "Bad as Cloud, ain't he?"
"Oh, nearly." She shook her head.
"How is Blondie, anyway?"
"Hell if I know. He and Denzel were in Wutai, last I heard, but that was a week ago. Reeve's got them running all over the place too."
"It's like we have to clear it with him if we want to see our friends," I said, irritated. "I know the world needs 'em, but so do we, right? There's only so much to go around."
"And you're possessive and jealous," she teased.
"Damn right I am. You would be too, if she was your girl." I realized what I'd just said and my mind slammed into that mouthwateringly sexy image at full tilt. My mouth hung open as I stared into my wonderful, vivid imagination. "Ohh…"
She punched me in the shoulder. "Down, boy!"
"Ow, hey!" I skipped backward, rubbing my tender flesh. "You don't pull your punches!"
She smiled sweetly at me. "You can defend yourself."
"Not against you, lady." I shook my head. "Learned that lesson hard, not gonna do it again."
"Aww, is widdle Weno still sore he lost to a girl?"
"I'm not fighting with you. I want to keep my balls intact, thank you very much."
"Well, take your balls and scoot. I've got work to do, and so do you. Hey, tell Schala to drop by later—I haven't seen her in ages, it seems."
"Me either," I muttered. "Later, Tif."
"Damn it, Reno, that was the director's!" Elena cried, bending to pick up the teacup I'd inadvertently knocked out of her hands as I jostled her elbow jogging past. "What is your damage today?!"
"Same as always," muttered Rude, over by the copier.
"I'm trying to get outta here as fast as I can, Elena," I said, leaning over my computer, eyes flicking. I couldn't even stand still, shifting from foot to foot. "I'm already late, I was supposed to be gone an hour ago. It's our anniversary tomorrow. We're leaving tonight for Costa del Sol."
"Didn't even bother to invite me," Rude said in a mock-hurt tone.
I glanced over my shoulder at him, incredulous. "You wanna stay in the next room over from us when we haven't seen each other in two weeks?"
He snorted, shaking his head at the copier.
"You're like a dog in heat," said Elena, wiping up the spill on the carpet.
"Sorry you're jealous, Elena, but there just ain't enough Reno to go around," I said, clicking through all the copies of WRO-Shinra inter-office memos. Shit shit shit, why the hell does Tseng gotta copy me on everything today?! I thought. I don't need to read any of this! …Whoa, hey, except that.
I sighed explosively and pulled up my files on munitions requisitions for coal mining in North Corel. We'd been desperately trying to transition from Shinra's stopgap measure of falling back on coal while prospecting for oil, now that the Northern Continent had started giving up gallons of rich flammable juice. Shinra's munitions department was all me, up top, and that was the way I liked it. Except today.
"No, no, no! You're over your limit, guys!" I snarled, having to sit down to compose a less-aggressive and longer email version of this.
"Hey, shh!" said Elena, and cranked the WRO news broadcast that until now had been a low murmur in the background.
"Keep it down, tryin' to work here!" I snapped.
"Shh!" Elena insisted.
I spun my chair around, infuriated, then heard the terse words of the anchor: "…that an airship has crashed north of Corel in a largely uninhabited valley. We have no word yet on any survivors. The WRO is working to deploy damage control teams from Rocket Town and is expected to release a statement within the hour…"
"Reno, Rude, Elena, with me," said the director, striding past the open door of our operations center.
I stumbled after him in a daze, trailing Elena. I tried so hard not to think the information my brain was urgently trying to put together. If I put it into words, it might become real. Rude grasped my shoulder as Tseng knocked on the president's door, between his two bodyguards at the end of the hall.
"You okay?" said Rude.
I stared up at him, out of sorts. "Uh… yeah…"
There was no more time; the door opened and we went in. Rufus was on speakerphone and beckoned us all in. I leaned against the wall, folding my arms protectively around myself, frowning. My mind felt like a blank dark hole out of which no thoughts escaped.
"…Yes, of course, only I'd like to know when we can mobilize air units," Rufus was saying. "We have almost no presence on that continent and no vehicles to speak of are currently deployed there. The sub is west of Wutai with a skeleton crew and won't do much good, although I have radioed them to stand by."
"Uh… I have no information at this time," said a voice on the other end, nearly drowned out by a cacophony of intermingled raised voices. "This directive came directly from President Tuesti. Until we are certain that whatever happened to the Elmyra…"
I sagged against the wall, all breath leaving me. Schala's voice rang in my brain: "I'm taking the Elmyra tomorrow at two, and should be home in time to grab a quick bite before our flight to Costa del Sol…"
"…will not occur again," continued the voice, though I barely heard the words over my memory, "all air traffic is to remain grounded for public safety concerns."
"I'm not talking about the public, I'm talking about putting military in a helicopter. They're trained to risk their lives," said the president, his voice still fucking even and calm.
"No, Mr. President—no air traffic. Not even military," said the voice.
At this point, without realizing it, I'd sunk to the floor, my hands buried in my hair. I stared at the president, mouth open, nothing to say.
"Then at the moment there's little Shinra can offer in terms of assistance," said Rufus. "I suggest you get that ban lifted as soon as possible or you're going to have trouble even reaching the crash site. Time may be of the essence for any survivors."
My head lifted. Survivors! Of course! She can survive anything! The Lifestream heals her! I scrambled off the floor.
"Yes, sir…" the voice on the other hand said distractedly.
"Keep me advised," said Rufus, and pushed a button to hang up. He lifted his eyes to the director.
"I'm sure you've heard the news," the president said evenly. "I'm putting you all on standby and I want you on the chopper pad and ready to depart. PHS circuits are jammed so we'll have to keep in contact on the emergency channels. All your phones are equipped for the switch and someone in tech is monitoring our network. We need to prepare search and rescue teams to augment the WRO's, and Tseng, if we have any ground support on the western continent, we need them moving by any means possible. Chocobos, if necessary."
"Sir, Cloud's got a gold chocobo stabled at Chocobo Farm," said Elena. "It's not fast, but it's faster than the sub."
Rufus shook his head. "Carries a maximum of two? I don't think we need bother."
"What about the cargo ship?" I said.
"In dry dock," said Rufus. "With all the airships in service it's getting a much-needed overhaul."
"God damn it," I hissed. I felt Rude's hand on my shoulder again and flung it off, frustrated. "I'll take that fucking chocobo, I just need toget there!"
The director and president both looked at me with blank stares.
"Please, sir!" I said, appealing to both equally.
"Reno, I have the utmost respect for your abilities, but I'm unconvinced you can mount an entire rescue operation on your own," said the president carefully.
"Schala was on that ship!" I shouted.
Elena gasped. Rufus and Tseng exchanged raised-eyebrow looks.
"Sir, let him go," Tseng said quietly.
"Rude, go with him," said the president.
I whirled and slammed out of the door, racing down the hall, heart pounding, not caring if Rude could keep up or not. I banged into the stairwell. I leaped down two flights before I realized how stupid this was, spun around on the stair and started charging back up. Rude reared out of my way, almost pitching over the rail.
I pounded all the way up to the roof and drew out my Electro-Mag Rod, snapping it to its full impressive length. I charged at the nearest helicopter. A couple of Shinra soldiers lounging around and smoking spotted me and rushed over.
"Sir, what's happening?" called one of them.
"Special mission," I said, stepping up to haul open the cockpit door. "We're flying under the radar today. There's a lockdown on air travel except for us, so don't let anyone know we've gone or it'll be your asses hung out to dry."
"Reno!" Rude climbed up after me. He gripped my arm so hard it hurt. "Don't be an idiot!"
"Why not?!" I yelled. "It's one of the best things I do! You can either shut the fuck up and come with…" I engaged my EMR and turned my full glare on him, starting the chopper, "or stay here. What's it gonna be?"
"You can't disobey the director and the president," hissed Rude.
"Watch me!"
"God damn it, Reno! We never disobey orders! Never! This is bigger than you, bigger than both of us, bigger than any one person! And we can still get there without breaking rules!"
"Yeah, maybe too late!" I snarled.
"She ain't gonna die, Reno. You know that. Even Sephiroth couldn't kill her."
"You don't know that for sure, and neither do I! I'm tired of this conversation!" I raised the EMR. "Don't make me use this, partner!"
Rude swung a rifle up to level at my head. I gaped at him.
"You can't be serious!" I said.
He shifted the sights so it aimed at my left arm, point-blank range. "Don't do this, Reno."
"I'm gonna murder you," I whispered.
He freed one hand to reach out and turn the chopper ignition to off. "Come on. Step on out. We can wait here on the roof and take the first chopper out with Tseng and Elena, or go get that chocobo. Up to you, partner."
I leaned over in the seat and dug my fingers into my scalp. My eyes squeezed shut. I couldn't think. Seconds were racing by, precious seconds. I glanced up at Rude, heart in my throat.
"What do I do?" I said, my breath hitching. "Help me out. How do I get to her the fastest?"
He lowered the rifle. "I'm sure the air travel restriction won't last long. Just sit tight and be patient."
I laughed angrily. "I'm a lot of things, but I am not patient! GOD!" I slammed my skull into the metal doorframe and winced. My head spun. I reached up to rub my temple.
"Easy," said Rude. "Scoot the fuck over, I'm not letting you fly this thing when we get clearance."
I did so, moodily. "She's gonna be all right, right?"
"Nine lives," said Rude, pulling on a headset.
"What the fuck happened?" I said.
Rude reached out and flipped on the radio, tuning it to the news broadcast.
"Oh, come on! They're at least twenty minutes behind!" I said.
"Got a better idea?" he said.
"Yeah, hold on." I pulled out my PHS, flipped it open, and checked the emergency line. I had to look up the extension. It rang through six times before a sort-of-familiar voice picked up. "Heyyyy, Uma!" My attempt at nonchalance fell painfully flat, even to my ears.
"Who is this?" said the harried-sounding Shinra employee on the other end.
"Reno," I said, surprised. "Don't pretend you've forgotten me."
"I don't have time for this. I'm really busy…" said Uma.
"That's why I'm calling. I need updates," I said. I spotted Tseng and Elena crossing the pad to us. "I need to know how close that air travel ban is to being lifted. I need to know everything known about what happened to the Elmyra, and I need to know about the search and rescue effort."
"Turn on the damned news, then!" She hung up on me.
"Fuck!" I fought the urge to hurl my phone.
"Thought you were out catching a bird," said Elena as she and the director strolled up.
I leaned my head on the console. "Too slow." My head whipped up, red ponytail briefly whipping across my vision. "Any news?"
She shook her head, looking awkward. "I'm… sorry, Reno."
My mouth and gut twisted at the words. "What's that supposed to mean? I thought you just said there was no news!"
"Calm down, Reno," said Tseng.
"I… I just meant…" Elena stammered.
"Just everyone shut the fuck up, right now," I said, and turned away, unable to bear those worried eyes on me, reflecting my own fear.
I shut my eyes, thunking my head against the cool glass of the passenger window. Just hold on, Bami. I'm coming as fast as I can.
Cloud
"Your whole body has to pivot," I said to Denzel, standing behind him as he hefted a piece of my fusion sword. "Don't swing from your arms. Swing from your core. Every motion has to start with your feet or your core, even if you're suspended in midair."
My PHS rang as I said this, and I waited to see Denzel re-attempt his swing. "That's looking better." I unsnapped the phone from my belt, flipped it open and held it to my ear. "Yeah?"
"Are you still on the western continent?" said Reeve, without even a greeting. Something was up.
"Yeah, we're in Cosmo Canyon now," I said.
"Head for Rocket Town," said Reeve. "There's been an accident on the north end of the continent. I'll have a rescue detail rendezvous with you and take you to the crash site."
As he spoke I strode over to Denzel and held out my hand. He put the sword fragment in my gloved fingers and I turned to sheathe it in the open forward housing of Fenrir.
"…When you get there, your first priority is to locate Schala," Reeve finished.
"Schala?" I frowned in alarm. "Is she okay?"
"I don't know. It doesn't look good, Cloud." He sounded weary, older than I'd ever heard him. I swung onto the bike and started it up. Denzel obediently hopped up behind me and put his hands round my waist.
"On my way." I snapped my phone shut and secured it, then peeled out across the dusty red deserts toward the brand-new suspension bridge across the bay to Nibelheim.
"What's wrong?" Denzel asked.
"I don't know," I said, filled with nagging unease. I never seemed to be far from its grasp, the fear of losing a friend. Fear of it all starting again. Every time I encountered it, it was too strong to bear, and reminded me of how weak I was.
I zoomed across the landscape. Racing death may be futile, but I've never let futility or hopelessness come between me and a friend in danger. There's just no other way, for me. Nothing else matters but my friends.
And that's the real secret no one knows about me. I'm not a hero. I would have let the world end if I could have sat beside Aerith and Tifa, Barrett, Marlene, Cid, Yuffie, Vincent, Nanaki, and even Cait Sith, toasting marshmallows on the flames of the apocalypse. It's just so damn hard to do that without oxygen. The planet was saved because it gives my friends a place to live, because Aerith wanted it that way. I was saved because Zack wanted it that way.
My friends, I try to save because I want it that way. And that is the only thing I want.
…Besides a milkshake. I hadn't had one in ages. Everyone drank damned tea. At some point, I figured, they were bound to rebuild the Downtown Diner and I could have grease, froth and solitude in my favorite booth again.
I sighed inwardly. It was a long drive.
Reno
My phone bleeped shrilly, the signal for the emergency frequencies. Out-and-open. "Reno," I said to it, strained from half an hour of waiting, pacing the helicopter pad. Should have taken the damned bird.
"Reno, it's Reeve," said a rich, deep voice.
"Ohh, you!" I snarled. "Yes, I know you! You're the guy that may have gotten my girl killed! And grounded the fucking choppers so I can't even get to her! What do you have to say to me, fuckface? And it had better be something along the lines of, 'air travel ban is lifted,' or 'she's okay,' because 'sorry' will not cut the mustard here!"
Reeve was quiet for a minute. "I may not be as close to her as you are, but believe me, I'm deeply worried about her too. Unfortunately it's not yet clear why the airship crashed. Until we rule out sabotage, we can't be sure that no threat exists to other aircraft."
I ground my palm into my face, clenching my jaw. "So… are your people at the site yet, or are you idiots still sitting on your hands?"
"The first team should be there soon. I won't be able to call you with updates, but Captain Highwind will be in touch personally within the hour about the air travel ban. If he thinks it's safe, you'll be among the first people he calls."
I pulled the phone away from my face and shook my hands at the sky. "Fuuuuuck!" I grimaced, repressed further outbursts and put the PHS back against my ear. There was only silence from the other end—the WRO's president had hung up.
"Pissing shit on a motherfucking shit cracker!" I hissed, cramming my phone in my pocket so hard I heard satin rip. I rounded on Rude, who stood quietly behind me, hands folded in front of him. He was perfectly still though the wind snatched at his tightly-fastened clothes.
"We still can't go anywhere 'cause Reeve thinks someone might blow one of our choppers!" I yelled.
Rude nodded sympathetically.
I swung the EMR, wishing there was something, anything I could break that wasn't a fellow employee or liable to come out of my paycheck. I growled and continued stalking back and forth across the patterns painted on the concrete pad, caged by monstrous things beyond my control.
Cloud
I was so glad Denzel remained behind when the rescue squad picked me up. He insisted that he could handle it, that he was old enough, but I gave him the no-nonsense look and he stayed in Rocket Town with Shera.
I still don't remember everything about my early days as an infantryman in Shinra, but there are nights I get glimmers, images of the assault of the Genesis army on Junon and encountering Genesis himself in Modeoheim. But even that carnage, plus all my experiences during Meteorfall, didn't prepare me for what I saw in the valley north of Corel.
We could see the billowing black plumes of smoke from Rocket Town, where everyone not involved in mounting rescue operations stood outside and watched with murmuring, frightened voices. As we crossed the mountains through winding narrow passes the fire came into view.
Holy hell.
I saw Nibelheim burned to the ground ten years ago, stood in the heat of its flames, watched my childhood home collapse in on itself, my mother still within. That was maybe half the size of the conflagration we headed toward.
The Elmyra had crashed into the mountain and slid down, igniting a forest fire which was spreading along the ridge. Flaming wreckage had been thrown wide over the entire valley.
The fire in my eyes for a second overlapped with the memory of Nibelheim's destruction, a dark figure turning away to walk into the flames—and then I snapped back to the present. Someone behind me was weeping uncontrollably. Everyone else had been stunned silent as we rode into the valley of death.
The water trucks were just too pathetically small to try to contain what was happening. They focused on the core of the ship. One of the WRO generals loudly cursed out Captain Highwind on the phone about the airship restriction and needing immediate air firefighter support.
Even with flame-retardant gear and Elemental-Fire Materia joined on my bracer I balked at the sheer mind-bending heat of what I was walking into. Then I saw the first body and went lightheaded. I turned away until I could swallow again without swaying.
Then, with all the courage I could summon, I walked into the fire. I squinted through the gas mask and heat distortion.
How am I ever supposed to find her in this? I tripped, looked down, and nearly threw up inside the mask. Some of the burned bodies were in pieces. I hadn't seen anything this bad on this scale in more than seven years and had forgotten how to deal.
I soldiered on. What choice did I have?
Reno
"She'll be fine, she'll be fine, she'll be fine," I said under my breath, eyes closed, shifting spastically in the co-pilot's seat. No one else said anything as Rude flew our chopper across the ocean, Tseng and Elena behind us in the cabin. I happened to open my eyes as we passed over Costa del Sol.
We'll be there tonight, I thought desperately. Somehow, we'll find a way. I am not blowing yet another vacation. We are so going to need it, after today. Everything's going to be all right.
I glanced up and saw the smoke. My whole body went cold. "What… the hell…?" I whispered.
As we crossed the bay, the fire came into view. Elena, behind me, gasped. Choppers and repurposed Shinra bombers made passes over burning trees, dropping payloads of chemical fire retardant. I could hear the intensity of air traffic chatter from Rude's headset. He maneuvered smoothly to a wide approach.
"Oh, no…" Elena whispered faintly.
I remember when Diamond Weapon hit the Shinra Building in Midgar, destroying the top floors in flames. I remember when Midgar was crushed into the ground by Meteor while I was inside the ruins of said building. The latter, by far, remains the worst thing I've ever seen.
This was its own special shade of hell. Far fewer people, but the destruction was so raw and bare and wild—just laying there, the smoking wreckage—it filled me up with adrenalin and bile. I could hardly breathe. It hit like the difference between seeing an animal struck by a car, and that time as a kid when neighborhood freak Orill Tonaway showed off the dog he'd split open and spread out across the bottom of a rusty red wagon, playing 'autopsy.'
"Reno…" said Elena, her hand touching my shoulder.
"Yo, shut up," I snapped, my face flushing as my control started to slip and sheer panic leaked out. Relief rushed in when she pulled away.
Get a grip, Sinclair! I told myself as we came in to land. Closer to the ground I saw most of the wreckage, though charred, had been extinguished. Trucks coming down from the passes through the mountains formed a semi-circle not too close to the scorched earth.
I opened the left-side front cabin door and leaned out, watching the ground approach. I leaped out as soon as it was close enough, tucked and rolled away from the descending landing skids. On my feet again, I started to run. Heat assailed me in the dying sunlight. I skipped over charred, twisted metal and wood. I had to squint, eyes burning and streaming from smoke. My head whipped around as I scanned for telltale blue hair.
I spotted telltale spiky blond. The ashy ground I crossed was really hot. I could feel it even through thick sturdy rubber soles. Cloud was dressed in some pretty outrageous flame-retardant gear. A gas mask lay discarded on the ground beside him where he knelt, looking down at some charred bit of wreckage like it paralyzed him.
It makes me sick to think about what happened next. I squatted down next to him, looking at his face, not the wreckage. Who the fuck does that? I was not in my right mind. His blue eyes were fixed down and trembling.
"Hey, Cloud," I said quietly, almost glad of something to focus on other than the shit unfolding around us. "You okay?"
For a second I thought he didn't hear me. Then his gaze lifted. He looked absolutely horrified to see me. He sucked in a sharp breath, pained eyes searching mine, and looked down again. This time I did as well.
I have seen some sick-ass shit. Hell, I have done some sick-ass shit. Dealing with truly twisted horrors was more or less my job description as a Turk. I've helped carry my own president's half-burned body out of the wreckage of the Shinra building. I saw corpses decomposing in the ruin of Sector Seven weeks after I dropped the Plate. That was fucking gruesome, and a personally punishing episode for me. But not nearly as much as recognizing the barbecued, mutilated remains of my girlfriend lying dead on the ground.
The only reason I grabbed Cloud's shoulder was so I wouldn't fall on him. Amazingly, he didn't recoil or shove me away, just propped me up while I stared at her charred face. My flesh crawled. It seemed the only part of me that could move.
I don't really recall any thoughts, and my emotions were way too massive to be identifiable. It was all shades of bad, being me right then. I don't know how long I sat on my heels and hung on to Cloud.
Finally I was able to reject what I was seeing, pull back, turn away. I struggled to lever myself up using the blonde's shoulder, tripped and was caught under the arms by Rude, who stood behind me. I didn't even manage to look up at his face, but I'd know those immaculate shoes everywhere, even covered in ash. I puked all over them. My whole body wracked with painful spasms and squirted yellow bile across my partner's boots.
"Sorry," I muttered, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. The ground burned under my knees, but I didn't give a flying fuck about physical pain at this point. My brain was shutting off as much as it could. It deadened senses in overdrive and put Reno the soldier front and center to take over.
I pushed off from the ground and rose to face Rude. His head was twisted a little; I could tell he was staring past me and down at the body. I stepped around him to stand before Tseng. Elena stood beside him, little brown eyes trembling as she too focused behind me.
"What are your orders, sir?" I said, and I sounded exhausted even to myself.
The director shifted, meeting my eyes. "Take five, Reno."
"Looks like you need every man, boss," I said, feeling strained. My eyes begged his: Please, for the love of Holy, give me something to do… some way outta my head…
Tseng sighed and nodded. "Come with me." I trailed him, grateful, desperate to get away from what I was certain I would never forget. My heart burned like wildfire, locked away inside me where it couldn't contaminate the rest of me.
…Yeah, right.
