Hello all! So I know I still have to get back to Intertwined, I'm just having a hard time writing for it right now for some reason. But I promise I will update it asap.
This story was going to be an oneshot, but as I was writing it, I kept getting more and more ideas so I didn't want to stop. So I don't know how long it's going to be – probably only a few chapters- but you never know. It takes place right after Ellie died.
The title is Kate Voegele's new song. It's beautiful and the lyrics work perfectly for Peyton – especially in this story. Hope you enjoy!
The knock on his bedroom door startled him. Luke lifted his head and glanced at the time, which read 12:07 am, and squinted in confusion at the possibility of who would be standing on his doorstep. He rose as the knock persisted and slowly opens the door to find a girl with blonde hair and a face full of heartbreak. She stood looking hesitant, one arm crossed, connecting with her other.
"Peyton?" He mouths full of puzzlement.
She bites her lip, and lifts her lids, which are burning with a fresh set of tears. His heart is telling him to pull her small body into his arms, but he becomes afraid of the fragility which she had seemed to encompass the past couple days.
Her hoarse voice mumbles, "Can I come in?"
His permission is given with the opening of the door. Her lips turn into a weak smile as she moves past him, into the room. As he turns, shutting the door behind him, he is met with hunched shoulders, and her green eyes cast down to look at his floor.
"I…I know it's late," She shakes her head, and her voice weakens, "I shouldn't be here."
He takes a few steps and is standing directly in front of her, with her face still looking down. His hand raises and touches her quivering chin, lifting it gently.
"Peyt, it's ok," unconsciously, he tucks a stray hair behind her ear, "It's always ok for you to come here. Talk to me."
She releases a deep sigh, and moves back to sit on the bed, "I'm just so… lost." She raises her head, and their eyes meet as he nods and moves to sit next to her, "Ellie's…. gone. She's gone." The words crack as her body leans forward, and she buries her face in her hands, while she begins to sob, repeating softly, "She's gone."
His arms immediately wrap around her, and she leans her body against his warm frame continuing to cry. She doesn't know how long the tears fall, and she didn't exactly know why she came to his door until now; he always had the ability to make her feel safe; to make her feel secure.
As tears began to dwindle, he pulls her back, and she lay along his side, her face buried in the crook of his neck. He presses a soft kiss to her temple, and tried to ignore the feeling he receives from inhaling her sweet scent.
"It's ok to be sad, Peyton." He feels her nod against him, and he smiles as he hears her breathing even, yet he continues to hold her tightly as his neck is still made wet by the tears that continue to fall from her shut eyes. He lets out a straggling breathe, as his thoughts turned to worry.
After he heard the news that Ellie had passed away, and Peyton had been the one to find her, his mind had been consumed with thought about the broken blonde, how was she doing; should he go to check on her; how would this effect her already broken demeanor?
The day after it had happened, he felt her absence in school immediately. It was as if being worried about Peyton was in his blood; it flowed through him and never stopped. Yet, even as he drove past her house, he decided against going inside for fear of what he might find… and fear of what it would mean to Brooke.
Then today, he saw her enter school and walk to her locker right away. Brooke had instantly walked to her friend, and he saw Peyton's resolve break and tears move past her eyes as she fell into Brooke's arms. He had watched from the sidelines, aching to pull her into his arms and tell her she was going to be ok, but it wasn't until Brooke silently waved him over that he was able to do this. His heart weakened at the sound of her tears, but when she pulled apart from them both and put on a smile of thanks, he could see how difficult that small smile was for her to put on. The day continued, and he wasn't blind to see that Peyton had avoided all of her friends, and exited after the final bell quicker than he had ever seen her leave before. And as he drove by her house again later on that day, he decided that it wasn't his job to check on her… as much as he may have wanted to.
But here she was, laying in his arms and sleeping soundly, and as hard as it was for him to see her so dejected, there was a part of him that was relieved that she had come to him. He tried to push away the thoughts of how right it felt that she wanted to be with him over everyone else. He tried to push away the slight happiness of knowing that he was still that guy for her; that through all the shit they had gone through, it was his arms that she found comfort in.
But his happiness shrank as he heard her release a struggled cry and he was mind was put into the reality of what she was going through. In the brief amount of time that Luke had grown to connect with her, Peyton's life had not exactly been nice to her. This was just one more thing to add to her growing list of tragedy, and while he knew she was strong, he was afraid that she was beginning to forget it.
Sun fell through the cracks between his blinds and windowpanes. The clock now read 6:17 am. As the rays fell on top of her lids, she slowly opened them, and was faced with the firm jaw line of Lucas Scott. She let herself smile as she heard him breath deeply, but reality then set in.
She couldn't be here; she couldn't be sleeping in the same bed as him; she certainly couldn't fall asleep in her best friends, boyfriend's arms.
Her body quietly maneuvered away from his limbs, and she softly walked to the door, careful not to wake him. Just before his lids opened, she slipped out the door. And Lucas had felt her absence more than he would of liked to admit.
The image came to her without inhibition and thought as she let her pencil draw the strokes onto the piece of paper. She had locked herself in a daze throughout the day of school and escaped into the empty art room during her lunch break, before Brooke would find her and insist that she had to eat with everyone.
She loved her friends, but was most definitely not in the mood to listen to a conversation that she barely registered, while they all shot her sympathetic looks and made sure she wasn't starting to fade away. So instead, she shut the door and hoped not to be found as the image of a partly open door and a concerned boy made it's way onto her paper.
Minutes later, she was brought out of her trance as she felt a presence beside her. She lifted her eyes and was met with Luke's as he took the seat by her.
She rolled her eyes as she moved her arm to cover the image in her sketchpad, "There's a reason I'm sitting in here and not outside with everyone, you know." Her comment was laced with sarcasm, but he could see the apprehension of being by him evident in her eyes and he gave a small smile.
"Hiding?" He asked honestly and she quickly turned her eyes away from him and spoke in a tiny voice,
"Kind of." He nodded in understanding and reached out, fitting her hand within his. They both tried to shake off the electricity, which was sent down their body at the feel of one another's skin.
"I get it, Peyton. I do." He squinted his blue eyes in concern, "But you're going to have to come out of hiding eventually. There's a lot of people out there that are worried about you, you know that?"
She shook her head and pulled her hand away, "Really? Because it seems like that list of people is getting smaller and smaller." Her voice was full of anger; annoyance; desperation. Her head turned as she wiped a loose tear away; Lucas was the last person who she wanted to see her cry, especially after the night before.
He ached to reach out for her as he witnessed her slowly breaking before him, "Yea, you're right. There have been people in your life that have left, but contrary to what you have written on your wall, people don't always leave." She scoffed and continued to look away,
"It's true, Peyton! You still have your dad, Nathan, Haley, Brooke, Mouth," His voice fell to a whisper, "and you still have me."
She turned to face him, and was met with his blue eyes full of worry, "Luke…"
"It's true. I'm always here for you to come to." She felt her eyes fill with tears and started to shake her head.
"None of you know what it's like. You all act like you understand, but you can't even begin to." He reached out for her as she began to sob, but she pushed his arm away, "No! It's true, Luke! Even my dad works a thousand miles away." Her voice broke at the end, and she gathered her stuff together haphazardly and stood to leave.
"Peyt…" Lucas let out, pleading her not to go.
She lifted her head and met his eyes again, "And I'm really sorry about last night, because you are not mine to go to, Lucas. That's Brooke's job." Her voice was full of saddened accusations, and they hit him like a ton of bricks as she quickly walked out the door, once again leaving him behind.
A/N – So what did you think???? Please Please Please Review!
