Deep within the sea of forest, the bengs favourite hideout, standing in the deepest darkest alley, by a decaying brick wall, was a stocky built, thuggish looking man, face covered with sparse rambutan hair, obviously trying for a pornstashe, but totally not working out, sister. He was wearing an ah beng shirt and ah beng pants and ah beng shoes and could easily be mistaken for an ah beng if it wasn't for his ah lian hat. He had around his arms, a versace handbag which nicked from a roadside store two hours ago.

This time he wasn't going to get a refund for it, because he's already found a customer when he megaed. His customer was your usually beng but this one was special. This one was a foreign talent, coming from the shores of an island far away where his rich family sold expensive Maxxycan branded food, being the only food-shop in that foreign mystical island that had rights to sell food. Going by the pimp name of Maxxy, this talent then carried his dangerous big black ribbed looking weapon (literally), mounted his swimming pony, left his mystical island behind in search for new food source – He was tired of having baked onion scallop and fish soup salad. That's when he found this red light alley in the foresty sea.

The first guy rubbed his pornstache as he surveyed the goods he was getting paid in, on top of that $180 cash he was getting, there was a magical cape that gave him two intelligence – not much but could be worth quite a bit, the ancient magical comb of anego's, a pletti young girl whose name Sheun, and an unreleased new bottled of branded Clearasil. He wasn't too keen on the Clearasil, he could easily pick one up free from Guardians.

He decided to negotiate.

"One ninety," He said in his lowest, raspiest voice trying to imitate Christian Bale in Batman so he could come across as intimidating.

"I give you two fifty five and no girl, you get no girl ! !WW!W!" Maxxy bargained in his ah beng voice.

Sheun started to cry. They were talking about her as though she was a product that was meant to be traded for versace handbags, she felt worthless and was useless to do anything. Maxxy and the soon-to-be-her-new-owner Mervyn were too strong, she couldn't do anything to defend herself or stop it, except to sit in her cage, anticipating.

She felt the pervert Mervyn looking at her, her back was turned but she could feel his eyes pierced through her, like superman. She knew he wasn't a good man and wouldn't treat her well, nobody who's a good person would come to this place willingly. She felt the glint in his eye, she felt the wind the movement produced when he licked his lips, him giving that nasty one sided smile, rubbing his stache, again licking his –

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She couldn't take it anymore, she screamed, covering her ears, shaking in terror, her face pale and her skin clammy. She wanted to die, she wanted to run away, why is this world so unfair? This could be a perfect world but it wasn't.

She remembered how perfect it could be when she heard the lyrics to her favorite song her best friend Vick N used to play. In a perfect world this could never happen In a perfect world you'd still be here…

"SHUT UP! DOG!" Maxxy kicked the cage, pulling her thoughts back in to this horror, this nightmare that would never go away. She sniffed.

"YOU THEN DOG AH!" Mervyn roared, all Christian-Bale-pretense forgotten as a new found rage filled his veins. He jumped at Maxxy, landing a punch on his face. Maxxy kicked back, tried to knee Mervyn in his crotch but missed as Mervyn, having trained at Mu Lung dojo for 8 years of his life, was a professional ninja, from level 35 to level 98. Mervyn did a black flip, jump back forward and did a spinning kick, hitting Maxxy on his head and upper torso multiple times, before losing his balance towards the end of it and falling over, knocking Sheun and the cage back and down a flight of stairs.

Sheun held her breath as she saw Mervyn's flying legs approaching, the cage limited her movements and she couldn't dodge the legs came flying towards her face and –

BAMMM!

She her vision turned white as she started crying silently. She woke up seeing stars, she was lying on her back in the cage, as Mervyn came into view. Mervyn had defeated Maxxy and left him tied up at the far corner. Mervyn was releasing her from her prison, when he finally came into focus, she saw a halo around his head. He was an angel. Her prince charming. Here to save her. His face was glowing. The most gorgeous man she has ever seen. He was lifting her up in his arms. Silently whispering to her, calming her down as she cried in his arms. She was saved! Tears of joy ran down her face.

As he carried her away from this mess, she felt her body going out as her vision darkened, she heard the nasty voice of Maxxy from the back.

"Revenge, REVENGE! REVENGE!…"

She fainted.


She was dancing atop a table, singing a song she couldn't remember, very gracefully almost flying across the day. The table extended as she danced across, the delicate chinaware danced along, moving aside to make way for the uhmayzingly beautiful princess. The table stopped extending itself, she another foot forward and suddenly she was in a field, just a plain field, no flowers, no butterflies. She knew this place, though alien to her, was called paya lebar, she continued prancing across the field, trees appearing across the horizon as she she did.

Suddenly there was a loud roaring noise, coming from a strange long structure with an ugly long mechanical fugly, snaking it's way across it, she screamed!

A bunched of ugly monkeys bengs with golden highlights in their hair appeared from within that giant snakey monster. They Mary Poppin-ed down onto the field in front of her and started towards her. There was so many of them! A hundred maybe, a thousand! Maybe she could hide out in that house at the other side of the field, she would be safe there! If she could get there quick enough! She started to run, but they were so fast! She couldn't outrun them, they were close, almost there, she grabbed the door handle. OPEN. SLAM.

She was in a toilet. It was a nasty damp toilet. She made to walk out but she couldn't move, her hands were tied to the wall. She struggled, the toilet door opened. Maxxy stood at the threshold, carrying his Louis Vuitton bag, face expressionless. He stared at her. She knew what was happening, he was seeing right through her! She closed her eyes shut. Hyperventilating.

"Please, no, stop please!" She begged. "No… Nooo…"

TOO LEE LEE TOO LEE LEE… TOO LEE LEE TOO LEE LEE...

She jumped up with a start. Her face was wet with sweat and tears, her mind cleared up, she looked around the room breathing heavily, finding the source of the noisy that woke her. She turned to the phone as it stopped.

It was just a dream, just a dream. She told herself. She was safe here in her bed, doors closed, windows closed, everything was a dream. She ran her hand across the cool glass of the window, fingering the bumps of dried booger left by her boyfriend Vick N, every time he came over. He would smoosh all the booger together into one large bump each time he visited, to see if he could collect more booger than the last. Her hands ran over the largest bump he managed last month. He was so proud of it he took a picture and posted it on instagram.

TOO LEE LEE TOO LEE LEE…

She jumped startled, nails accidentally picking off one of the dried booger, she watched it fly and disappear onto her bed. The phone had started ringing again. She shook her head, reached over and picked it up hurriedly.

"Hello?" There was heavy breathing on the other side of the phone.

"Hello, Sheun, you be my daughter can?" Came a low raspy voice.

"Huh? What?"

"Ok, I give you 500 million meso every week, tax covered. you be my adopted daughter." He replied.

"I DOWAN YOUR MONEY! YOU LEAVE ME ALONE! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME! GO AWAAAAY!" She cried hysterically and chucked her iPhone 1 across the floor – her parents didn't have the money to get her the latest iPhone. She sobbed silently to herself. Why does everyone hate her? Why is everyone so mean to her? Nobody likes her. She's alone in the world. Even Vick hasn't visited in ages, probably thinks she's a freak.

She's just a kid and life is a nightmare, she's just a kid and she knows that it's not fair.

She picked up the razor from her beside, pubic hair hanging between it's teeth.

Nobody cares cause she's alone and the world is having more fun than her.

She picked the pubic hair and started sobbing.

What the hell is wrong with her, don't fit in with anybody, how did this happen to her?

Pulled her sleeve up and brought the razor to her armpit.

Suddenly a strong gust of wind swept through the hair sweeping her emo fringe forward. Hair on her arms stood on its end. Oh no, he's here.

BAM BAM BAM! Sounded from her living room. She screamed.


She started sobbing, she didn't know what to do, they were here.

She screamed again because she was so terrified.

"COME OUT, DOG!" An ugly voice demanded from the living room door. She recgonised the voice immediately, the guy who threaten her on the phone last week. She was prone to getting these harassment calls, strangers would call and say bad things. It made her cry. She loathed herself for that. But this was the first time someone turned up at her doorstep. She couldn't hide. There was nowhere to run.

"GO A-WAY!" She yelled, in a trembling voice she knew Vick adored, hoping they would take pity on her and leave. She ran quickly to secure the second lock on the door. Tears continued pouring down her face, it tainted her pletti face. Tears on her face, atrocious, tears that weren't meant to be there. Her face, face of an angel, pletti baby angel was made for rainbows, cookies and unicorns, tears only stained it, defiled it. She sniffed loudly and choked back a sob. Tensed hands holding on to the lock.

"OPEN DOG! YOU CALL ME UGLY RIGHT?" He roared noisily. She remembered she did, mentioning it in the passing, it obviously wasn't meant to be taken seriously, although, she had meant it. They met online and had noticed him because he had similar name to her boyfriend.

Vicky N was his name, he wasn't actually too ugly really, a week prior to their meeting, decided to visit a tanning salon, then decided he didn't like the tan and had himself bleached, leaving his skin all patchy and inflamed. On top of the disastrous plastic surgeries he's done before, didn't like his eyes, didn't like his head shape, even had his nose removed to look anime.

She sobbed again, took a deep breath.

"Erm, you looking for dog, uh, uh, got no dog here, I think wrong address, sorry." She said in a high pitched Bella voice, trying her best to bluff him.

"She bluffing, tell her don't fake." A repulsive faced golden-highlighted-hair promises-of-monkey lackey of Vicky's decided to speak.

"DON'T PRETEND. YOU GIVE ME NUMBER AND ADDRESS, SAY WANT COME OUT TALK, NOW YOU CHICKEN. COME OUT" A bang resounded the room as Vicky threw his 200 pounds of pure muscle weight against the door.

She hurried to back to hide in her bedroom, awkwardly flailing her arms around, knocking over the used tampons on her Edward Cullen shrine as she passed it, –

Edward! She remembered, stopping at her bedroom door. Her eyes now locked on that sexy Edward Cullen poster than had fallen during the epic disaster. Maybe if she wished hard enough, he would save her. She closed her eyes and pictured those sexy sprayed on washboard abs, imagined rubbing her left cheek on them, he would moan softly and so would she.

BAANGKAZEEKABOOM! She heard the door crack. The evil was just so strong. She would never be able to fight back, he was just so very strong.

"I UGLY? I SHOW YOU WHO DOG NOW. YOU CBLJ$!72 ! " Another slam and more cracks appeared on the barrier.

She sat huddled at a corner, eyes wide with fear. Fist pounded wildly at her door. She held her breath. Edward, please Edward!

"GOT NO DOG HERE I SAY! HELP ME EDWARD! !$!$ EDWAAAARRRD! AHHHHHH" She screeched, throat hoarse by now. Heart thumping wildly in her heart. Eyes shut tightly as she fell to her knees, face scrunched up cutely as she cried silently.

Then there was silence. She waited. A minute passed. Then two or maybe five she couldn't tell when time was distorted like that.

Had they left? Just like that? Had Edward heard her thoughts and came to save her? Were they waiting behind those walls biding their time? Maybe Vick N came and took them out, she remembered how huge those biceps of his were. He could easily lift her up one hand, toss her around like he did that time when they were at the beach. It was her 15th birthday, Vick had taken her to the beach to toss her around like a rag doll, as jealous girls from school looked on. Those girls from school were mean looking and had ugly zits all over their faces, they picked on her a lot, she didn't know why. Everyone just liked to pick on her. Tears started streaming down her face as the thought of it.

Suddenly there were loud noises, shuffling, bangs and thuds, heavy breathing, yells and muffled cries of pain, more hitting, footsteps running away. Silence again.

She sat still, watching the door, hands fidgeting nervously, arranging her beautiful gothic black babe dress, hands ironing the creases as she felt and flick away what she assumed was a dried booger that had fallen into one of the folds earlier.

BOOOOOOOMMZ!

She opened her mouth shrieked silently as the door crashed opened.

A strong tall dark mysterious handsome sexy silhouette stood at the doorframe, framed beautifully by the clear midnight blue sky, eclipsing the full moon as a wolf howled in the background and lightning flashed across the sky.

She screamed again and fainted.