Alphahunter101: Really, really, really bored out of my mind. I don't own Adventure time or anything
He needed air …
It was that simple, the only reason he could think of to escape this conversation
The words his brother were saying stole fragments of his innocence
He needed air …
This was the most horrific thing ever possible
"It's natural for someone your age" why did he have to say that?
He needed air …
Why did it have to be today, glob why did it have to be today?
Finn would not and could not listen to Jake about "growing up" and "tier 15" in all its glory
"I need some air" Finn blurted out before rushing away from the room his brother had spoken to him in.
Running through fields and villages Finn tried to think of something, no, ANYTHING else than what his brother told him earlier that day. Hormones, smell, hair and size he could live with but this subject, this unholy, foul, disgusting subject. No. NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, he was not discussing THIS with anyone, not Bubble-gum, not Marcy, not FQ, but especially not Jake. Soon Finn reached a forest that he had not explored before. His two options were A) go home and talk to Jake or B) investigate a cool dangerous place void of anyone he knew. The choice was obvious; the right thing to do was go home, so he went into the forest instead.
There was a lot to keep Finn occupied while exploring, insects, rivers, crash sites, monsters and several talking trees with British ascents. Every now and again Finn would be reminded why he was here in the first place, for example when he first encountered the talking trees he was questioned why he wasn't with a girl or more accurately "oye, oye, oye, fam whys it you a'int with a bird? Is it cuz you're a fruit? It is fam init? You're a fruit arnt ya blad!" Finn face was going red for reasons he didn't know, what he did know however was he needed air...
"aye guvnor, mind you way upstream, the forest bobby's sure t'a notice ya by your lonesome and t'ink your up t'a trouble" through what he could understand from every creature he had fought in the forest, this forest warden, or "bobby" as some trees called him, had easily mastered several sacred arts, destroyed 27 different invading armies alone and was all round strong, maybe stronger than the lich king. As Finn continued through the seemingly endless forest he started to hear something. Crying? No too loud. Maybe it was screaming? No too happy. Was it singing? Close but not quite. Wait was it laughing? Yes, that was it, laughing. It was like childish, innocent, fun laughter.
As Finn ventured on the laughing became louder and stranger, almost demonic sounding. Although not afraid Finn was cautious, this seemed like trouble and his grass blade was the best defence against anything he had faced so far. The ever present laughter was coming from his left and so Finn ventured that way only to see signs began to appear with runes and text clawed into them. "Heeheehee, can't you read little boy? This is the new kingdom of death and you weren't invited" a young girl with light crimson hair and spikey dark olive green skin leapt out of the trees holding an ebony dagger. Again Finn became flustered and needing air when seeing her, his cheeks the same colour as her eyes "I am not a boy" Finn weakly defended before realising the girls smirk "What I mean is I am a boy but I'm not a … you now what, let's just fight" the girls stance quickly changed from a mocking defence into a ready offence. "Ladies fir..." Finn was quickly cut off by a well-executed strike to his chest. Again the girl laughed, she seemed strong, maybe even forest warden strong. Focusing Finn slashed at his attacker and dodged the dagger that she kept plunging near him. The only thing more embarrassing than the thought of losing to this girl was that fact she was laughing at him while fighting him. "Had enough yet boy? You look tired! Heeheehee" That was it, no more Mr nice guy hero; Finn was going to destroy this bitch fast. He aimed directly at her legs and swiped them faster than she could react. Before long Finn had the upper hand disarming every weapon she had tried to use and even got a few strikes past her armour and knocking her to the ground.
Placing his blade to her neck Finn questioned the strange laughing girl "Who and what are you and why did you attack me? Answer or I cut your through!" "I yield, I yield, please don't hurt me, my name is Rose and I'm one of the kings best swords, now please let me go before you regret it!" she didn't seem to be lying. Finn was about to release Rose when he heard something from behind. "What was that?" laughter again this time it surrounded him, "I warned you boy now it's time to meet the king" she started to laugh, damn that was annoying, but before he could comment he felt something hit his neck …
It was dark and cold, but it was also full of thick air that chocked any who breathed it, Finn needed some air, fresh air to be precise. Finn guessed he was in some sort of prison but due to the dimness of the place he couldn't tell. After an hour of waiting he was lead out of the cell (which turned out to be a cave) and brought to an amazing waterfall. Stood there was a total of 255 "people" including Rose, all of which looked at Finn with hatred. "Hey you, dick-head, up here" on top of the tallest tree sat a man with white hair and tan skin in a dark black cloak. "What did you honestly think you were doing coming into my kingdom and defeating the best fighter I trained? Please answer because I really want to know why you think it's good to humiliate Rose, you annoying prick!" this guy wasn't like the others in this forest, for starters he swore, secondly he didn't look like a tree, and finally he seemed human. "Hey sunshine, I asked you a question!" Finn had no idea what to do; he was surrounded and was probably at the centre of the forest making running away not an option, he couldn't fight them all off due to almost being beat by just one warrior alone. "Last time I say this knob head, explain your-self now!" this man looked about 19 and seemed really angry, Finn's only option was to answer. "I didn't think there was anyone here when I came into the forest, let alone a kingdom, and as for fighting Rose she attacked me!" The crowd started to hiss and snarl at Finn, all but the man in the tree who simply laughed. Laughed, unlike Rose and the warriors who had a demonic tone, this laugh seemed genuine, what was going on here? The man called for silence "So wait, let me get this straight, you a child of what? 15, 16 maybe, stumbled into a hidden kingdom, single handled defeated its best fighter who had trained for 500 years and then managed to piss off an entire army? HA! You remind me of myself when I was your age. I find the charged innocent! ... Rose, I want you to release the prisoner and escort him out of the kingdom" Finn noticed how the crowd seemed to be confused, probably due to Finn being able to leave unharmed (something Finn didn't quite understand either), and how the man had forced Rose, their best fighter, to show him how to leave. "But my king…" The crowd roared with disapproval at Finn's release and Rose seemed very public about her opinion even defying her orders. "SILENCE YOU BUNCH OF DIM WITTED SAPLINGS, IF I SAY HE GOES THEN HE FUCKING GOES!" the man managed to stop any noise near the waterfall before leaping down from his tree and walking towards Rose "You my dear managed to let this idiotic boy, who is probably going through puberty , into my kingdom, lost to him in a fair fight despite years of training and disobeyed my instructions to keep quiet and yet you seem to think that you don't need to acknowledge the victor's rights and you speak petty excuses that you believe are enough to save you from punishment." He paused and looked directly at Finn before turning towards Rose once again "I am the forest warden and King of death Angel Alpha Jäger Prodige de la Muerte and if you honestly believe me to be wrong then I ask you to lead this kingdom in my absence, to train every solder that we have, gather defendants before judging 65 trials a day and make sure every task is set correctly, because I'm leaving!" Everyone in the crowd seemed shocked at what just happened, their King just relinquished his rule and passed it onto someone who was not a leader in any right. Finn was having a hard time understanding anything that was happening and just wanted to leave "So, um… can I go now?" attention was once again on Finn, red eyes from everyone there seemed to stare into his soul, maybe he should have kept his mouth shut and sneaked away?
The man, "Angel", started guiding Finn out of the forest, a journey that took a surprisingly long time, due to various creatures swarming Finn and his apparent ally. Lifting a strangely shaped sword Angel seemed to mock his opponents "Hey kid, how about you take the 15 on the left and I take the 40 on the right?" Finn was really starting to hate this guy. Slashing at his enemies Finn managed to defeat at least 7 of the vile creatures however the razor sharp claws of a small fox-like monster penetrated Finn's back leaving a massive scar oozing with blood that caused more and more creatures to aim at Finn. Surrounded Finn was feeling helpless as he was pounded into the ground by his enemies when he heard something strange "Mega hakai suwaipu attack!" a dark blade swiftly sliced through everything around Finn and stopped at his throat "You O.K kid? You look like shit!" laughing Angel lifted Finn onto a large stone.
As Angel searched in a pack of his for something he called a twilight berry Finn began to think, why was Angel such a dick? What was Angel's species, an elven hybrid or maybe a demonic beast? And how was he so strong? Finn was brought out of his thoughts by Angel hitting him in the back of the head "First thing I have to say is I am not a dick, I'm a twat, there's a difference you know! Second I'm a human, like you I guess, from a place called England. Third it's due to my immortal training scheme dipshit! Oh by the way I found the berry, you're going to have to eat it raw for the magic to work, so good luck with that!" how did that smug jerk know what Finn was thinking? The sourness of the berry lasted into the cold night keeping Finn awake and allowing him to think about what had previously happened. Angel seemed to be able to read Finn's mind and claimed he was human. Finn didn't think humans could have red eyes and the power of telepathy but then again Finn didn't know any humans beside himself, Susan strong was close to human but was still a mutant, PB was… well PB was made of candy, Finn didn't know if Marceline counted as half human anymore. Anything was possible; Angel may actually have been telling the truth, Finn may be telepathic and not know it AND ... AND ... AND … well that was pretty much it.
As dawn broke Finn and Angel continued walking out of the vast forest only occasionally stopping to fight large packs of oversized rats and collectives of lizard-men. As time dwindled on Finn was getting curious about his new ally "Hey kid! Come check this sign out" Finn was once again getting sick of Angel "Stop calling me kid! You look about 19, that's only a few years older than me!" the inevitable laugh that came from Angel told Finn that he had made a mistake. Wiping away tears Angel smugly pulled an object from his pocket "I may look 19 but I'm nowhere near that number, I'm 826 years old." Showing Finn a strange sphere Angel once again commented "Immortal life is good but immortal youth is fucking awesome!" the smile plastered on Angels face seemed like it would be there a while. "Anyway, care to tell me what your name is?" Finn decided the best thing to do in future situations was to shut the fuck up "Finn, Finn the human!" looking at Alpha Finn noticed a much exaggerated face palm "The human is a title, not a name! Finn… sounds kind of Irish if I'm honest! Well whatever, I want to see you try to read this sign Finnegan" reluctantly Finn attempted to read the strange sign "U…u…un porta…ail que…e je vous demande, me ramène à c…c…ce qui est vra…i, ma maison est le...len…l'endroit où je veux, envoie-moi il feu sacri…sacré" felling proud of himself Finn faced angel only to see him sigh "close enough I suppose!" Taking a deep breath Angel placed his hand on a nearby rock. Fire started to appear all around Angel and Finn, in his usual smug expression Angel tried to explain what was going on to Finn "what you just said was a French teleportation spell I placed here in case I needed to escape; a portal that I ask of you, bring me back to what is true, my home is where I desire, send me there sacred fire, it's quite poetic right?" even more flames grew from the rock as Angel spoke causing a strange archway to appear. The swirling flames took all the air out from Finn's lungs replacing it with unhealthy smog. He needed air. He really needed air. The more Finn struggled the more he would lose his senses. He seriously needed air. Finn was about to collapse when suddenly something shoved him through the archway. Finn felt his skull smack into the cold hard ground, the pain similar to digesting a bad potion, the rain soaking him to the bone. Wait a second, rain? Wasn't Finn surrounded by flames a second ago? Finn took several minutes to register what was going on. "Well shit!" Finn could tell Angel seemed surprised by the tone of his voice "How'd I forget it destroyed cloths? Oh well, at least I didn't burn" wait! Wait! WAIT! DESTROYED CLOTHS! Finn was going to kill Angel if he was serious. "Keep your eyes closed Finnegan. I'm going to try to grab some spare fur" before Finn could protest he heard numerous arrows dart over his head, and then silence. Finn had kept his head to the ground, aware of his predicament (lying on the ground completely nude and defenceless) and not wanting to be shot, for 7 minutes before passing out.
Finn awoke to the loud (and very angry) voice of Angel "Wake up Finn, you blonde asshole! We're surrounded!" What? Finns eyes shot open to see the Cute King and his army jumping on Angel "GET OFF OF ME YOU FUCKING FREAKS!" Finn couldn't help but laugh at what was going on. Angel, the cockiest fighter on the planet, was being beaten by the Cute King. Finn had never laughed so hard in his entire life. In order to save Angel from anymore shame Finn threw the smallest rock he could find at the cute king, instantly knocking him and his army out. Angel's embarrassment was blatantly obvious, his red face and clenched fists were clues enough that Finn should stop laughing. He didn't. Angel simply threw Finn a set of whywolf pelts that he had shaped into trousers before kicking him square in the jaw. Finn lead the way towards the tree fort with a bloody nose and a black eye, Angel seemed to calm down after fucking up Finn's bread and butter. There was a fair distance from where Finn was now and where Jake would be worrying about him, a thought that Finn tried to shake from his head. Finn wondered how long had been gone for, a couple of days meant almost nothing, a week would be bad for most people Finn knew, any longer would be unlikely but still possible. It was strange. This entire 'adventure' had been strange, from the expansive forest to the warrior trees and to Angel Alpha Jäger Prodige de la Muerte, the man who seemed to be incredibly arrogant, brave, smart, untrustworthy, idiotic and loyal all at the same time. Why was he even helping Finn? He had no motive to come this far! Maybe he wanted something for allowing Finn to live? It made no sense, why did he do what he had done? Night fell once again, meaning there wasn't much further to go for Finn to reach the Candy Kingdom and then the tree fort, and the cold winds seemed determined to keep Finn awake from his spot in the trees. Finn simply gazed at the sky trying to just pass out, no luck, stars joined into shapes all around making the sky look like a large painting. One cluster of stars stood out but Finn couldn't think what PB had called it when she taught him about astrology "it's called Aries" the seemingly emotionless voice came from below Finn "it means the ram and its story begins in Thessaly" the voice was now recognisable as Angel, Finn decided not to interrupt Angel's story, it might help him get some sleep after all "The King of Thessaly had two children named Phrixus and Helle who were brutally abused by their stepmother. A god called Hermes became angered by this and sent a ram to bring the two children to safety. Tragically, the girl Helle lost her grip and tumbled from the ram into the narrow strip of water between Europe and Asia. Phrixus, on the other hand, managed to arrive safely to the shores of the Black Sea where he sacrificed the ram and gave its golden fleece to a restless dragon. Later, a hero named Jason and his intrepid Argonauts retrieved the fleece and returned it to Thessaly as part of a challenge" Finn thought about how Angel knew this story, he was old and seemed to travel a lot, but Finn had learned to not ask Angel a question unless you wanted a long annoying explanation, Finn didn't, and so eventually drifted off to sleep.
As the first signs of light appear Angel wakes Finn by pouring water over his body, something made worse by Angel laughing at the reaction. After a breakfast of whywolf burgers and several strange nuts that Angel had got from his pack, there seemed to be an entire forest in there, Finn lead Angel towards the Candy Kingdom when suddenly Angel stopped in his tracks and he looked at the buildings and the people. Finn could tell there was sorrow in his eyes "how long has it been? This wasn't here, a field filled with wild horses and there riders had made settlements here long ago but this castle was never here, and the creatures, why do they look so different? They're not violent or even warriors, they're just people. They're nothing other than people" there's a saddened expression plastered on Angels face as he sits on a tree stump, Finn wondered what was going through his friends mind when he suddenly spoke "I slayed so many of these creatures because they were different and strange! Was I wrong? Was I wrong to protect the last ones that reminded me of my life?" Finn walked towards his friend and sat next to him "You know, after a while things that are strange seem to get better, just look at the Candy Kingdom, it's got talking bananas and an insane princes, I'm not bothered by how weird it is anymore but this same place seemed strange when I first seen it but after a while I got used to it. I think your people attacked me because I was different than what they were used to, it's strange but I kind of get it." After speaking Finn decided to stay silent as Angel thought about this new environment he had stumbled into. As it got dark Angel seemed to pray, whispering something that Finn had never heard "ya skuchayu po tebe vse, papa, vy byli sil'ny, mama, vy byli umny i nyphia vy byli pravy, no eto zaymet vremya dlya menya, chtoby prostit', chto ya sdelal s sushchestvami tol'ko potomu, chto oni byli raznyye. Ya izvinyayus'. Do svidaniya!" Finn noticed the tears coming from Angel's red eyes and then asked a question he thought he may regret "What did you just say?" Angel stood up and breathed in before whipping his tears. "It was about my family and how I wish they were here." The sadness suddenly cleared as Angel grinned "Now where do you live? You owe me a place to stray at least!" smiling Finn headed towards his home with a new friend, someone who was probably going to crash there for a while. How was he going to explain this Jake? Wait Jake? Jake! For some reason Finn felt he was going to need some fresh air.
Alphahunter101: Done... not much else to say
