Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood, no copyright infringement intended. If you still want to sue, bring Ianto back to Jack first.
Warnings: Spoilers for almost everything except novels and comics. Not beta-read and English is not my native language, but beta-tested by SOY (this means she happily bounced on the idea of reading a Torchwood fix-it and, while she read it, she sometimes glared at me, pointing out missing commas, subjects and that disappearances and –ing misplacements)
A/N: After lots of crying over how fucked up CoE/The end of time ended, I thought that writing a fanfiction was a wonderful idea to get the depression out of my system. It didn't work, but I still hope you will enjoy it. The story is already finished and since there won't be any beta-reading to wait you will see the end of this, don't worry.
Graveyard
The wind kept humming its soft tune racing through the trees of the cold graveyard. The grey sky hovered over the tombstones damp of humidity and forecasting the imminent rain, but none of the three people standing close next to each other could bring themselves to care.
It has been a month since they came back from another USA parenthesis and everything was changing again. Jack had disappeared once more, talking about bringing back the real Torchwood Cardiff, and Gwen was left with Rhys and little Anwen wondering if that meant she still had a job. When they had met again and the captain had suggested with a fake smile on his face that they should go say hello to their co-workers, the others simply knew that it wasn't going to end well.
Four years had passed since Ianto's death and some more time from Owen and Tosh's, but the pain was still there. Even though Gwen and Rhys had managed to find a way to stop thinking about it constantly, it was also well known to them all that Jack's heart was still deeply bleeding over Ianto, no matter how much he tried to get over it.
Quick shags, attempted random love stories, work and alien invasions couldn't do a thing to stitch up that wound. It was there, in the minutes he thought he was alone and he let his mind simply wander, his eyes lost and out of focus. Sometimes tears glistened his eyes, sometimes his lips tightened fighting the urge to cry, sometimes he laughed remembering something only to shake his head seconds after, knowing that there was no way that could came back in his life.
What was happening in front of their eyes right now, however, was even worse than what had become a reality they didn't want to get used to. The horror depicted on Jack's face as he stared at Ianto's tombstone had no way to be described and, as even Gwen had to admit after all those years, no way to be healed.
"It's so sad thinkin' Tosh and Owen are not even 'ere. Makes you actually think coming 'ere is a waste of energy."
Rhys's cheerless words felt like a painful stab in Gwen's heart and a single tear fell, marring her cheek. She was certain she had already gotten over their deaths, why did it still hurt so much? Was it the sad atmosphere of the graveyard? As she took a deep breath, anyway, it clicked and words flew out by themselves.
"When the hub exploded… nothing in the morgue survived. Tosh, Suzie, Owen's things… The hub was their home…"
More tears came flooding and she couldn't find it in herself to continue. She hid her eyes in her hands and began crying freely. Rhys was quick to take her in his arms, gripping her firmly and caressing her head, slightly hoping to bring her a little bit of comfort.
"We try and begin new lives, we run away, we change everything over and over again… And in the end the loss is always there." Jack stated with what was supposed to be a cool tone, even though it was already beginning to crack. "Maybe that's why we kept them in the morgue… to pretend they were still there with us… To have a chance to see them again and again, because even after you say everything, even after you are sure that a last glance is all you needed… It goddamn, just keeps hurting."
It was easy to understand that what had begun like a general thought in the end had turned out to be an explicit reference to Ianto. Gwen turned quickly towards Jack, ready to be there to comfort him if needed, but with Jack in such a state it was difficult decide what was the most proper course of action.
Even though his eyes were red and watery, not a single tear was falling. That could have been good news if it had meant he had already shed enough tears for Ianto, but something told her that he simply had no more. Both husband and wife stared at him unsurely, earning a bitter laugh from Jack as soon as he noticed them.
"I already cried too much over him and I've no reason to keep going. He wanted me to don't forget him, but he would have never wanted me to keep grieving. I owe him that much…" Jack's neutral tone was barely a strangled whisper near the end and his whole complexion morphed in a mask of pain and grief. "And I can't even give him that. It still… hurts too much…"
Gwen swallowed the lump that seemed to constrict her throat and reached for his shoulder. Jack placed his own hand on top of hers and they closed up the space between them, trying to give and receive comfort from one another just like that.
Rhys watched them, not entirely sure about what he could do to help his wife and her best friend, yet he understood that they didn't need words right now. They were too far gone in their grief. The 'great' idea to have a new Torchwood experience far away from Cardiff, and begin a new life overseas had only proven how stupid it was to keep running away. Nevertheless, leaving Anwen with her grandparents for the day to make this trip to the graveyard as a way to gain enough courage to fight for their future wasn't the greatest idea they had ever had.
Maybe facing the end to have the strength to move towards a new beginning was good enough only for written novels. It hadn't worked after Tosh and Owen's deaths and much less after Ianto's, so there was no hope such a childish notion could begin working now.
"He wasn't done," Rhys managed to say after some time, gaining the attention of Gwen and Jack, both barely seeing him through watery eyes. "That's why Ianto hurts more than the others."
Gwen looked at her husband like he had grown another head. "So you mean that Tosh and Ow-"
"I never said that!" He interrupted hastily. "But from what you told me Owen hated to be left 'undead'… and Tosh, well, I think her hopes died with him that day, if she'd loved him that much. Ianto on the other hand was just beginning to form some sort of actual relationship with Jack and… well, Gwennie, I think he still was barely ready to open up to you. He's always been the mysterious fella in your tales the times you mentioned him. Always polite, always sweet... "You can trust 'im with everythin'" but just that! To you it was nothin' more, love… And just when you had the chance to know 'im better…this 'appens."
Rhys gestured towards Ianto's grave, making both of the others look back at the cold tombstone with Ianto's name written over it. For a long moment they stood frozen in place and stared at it, their breath stopping in their lungs.
"This might be true, Rhys." Jack assumed, trying to sound half the detached person he wanted to be and freeing himself from Gwen's hug. "But we still can't reverse it. We have to keep protecting the Earth… the way he would have wanted us to, and from where he would have wanted us to."
"But the hub near Cardiff's bay-"
"Some renovations had been made." Jack interrupted Rhys curtly. "Now everything is exactly the way it was, the way it was supposed to be. I also managed to get some of our things back from Torchwood two… Even the morgue will soon be functioning properly again."
Jack moved away from the tombstones and towards the car park, but both Gwen and Rhys took a moment more before following him.
That day the 456 had taken away everything from Jack. His past, making him sacrifice his own grandson and in doing so destroying the last bit of relationship he still had with his daughter. His present, made of Torchwood, the hub, a work he liked even when it was difficult and unappreciated by the others. His future, a relationship with Ianto that was only beginning to rise to the surface after all the years he had kept his heart frozen.
Even Gwen had realized the strength of the commitment grown between the two men, and she knew that even though Jack was still trying to not admit it, he had known deep inside that he had already fallen for his lover way beyond what he had signed up for when they first began their relationship.
She could not be certain of it, but she was sure that it played the biggest part amonh the reasons why Jack couldn't forgive himself. That was what was eating him alive: to know that not only he had brought Ianto with him at the Thames House, causing his demise, but he had also been too scared to fully live a relationship that had been there waiting for him.
He had presumably all eternity before himself, but Ianto had much less, especially with him being part of Torchwood. Jack knew it, but to act on it would have only made the decaying things around him real and he wasn't ready to confront that again. Ianto's death, however, had made him have to do exactly that.
Gwen doubted time would ever heal something like that, no matter how many billion years you have in front of yourself.
"Rhys… I think he's getting worse…" She whispered to her husband, walking even more slowly.
"The experience overseas made it worse I suppose… Do you think he means to bring Ianto in the morgue to have him next to him?"
"Four years passed… I don't think he actually believes the body is still intact."
"If he wants Ianto to give 'im strength, bones will do for 'im, Gwennie. He looks even more broken now than he was before."
Gwen took a deep breath and then exhaled. "You know, Owen and I never believed Ianto when he said Jack needed him. Rhiannon was right, we didn't know him at all. And what makes me think is… we didn't even know Jack as well as we thought back then."
Remembering Rhiannon's cold words when she'd had to tell her Ianto was dead still hurt so much that she had to stop walking altogether. The guilt was too much to bear: two years working together and she hadn't actually known more than a bunch of lies amongst the fact that he loved Jack, making coffee and keeping things clean.
"It's not your fault, Gwen." Jack joined the conversation despite Gwen and Rhys's surprise. "And when you think about it, it was not even Ianto's."
He stopped to turn and face her. Just how much of the conversation had the captain actually heard?
"He was trying to protect his family, just like you tried to protect Rhys at the beginning. Obviously for him it was much easier not living with them."
"But you knew about his family, Jack…and he lied to you too all the same. Owen told me he overheard you two the day me and Rhys were-"
"His father is a whole different problem." Jack butted in, already understanding what she was talking about. He took a deep breath and resumed his walk towards the car before continuing. "When he is at work he can pretend his father was someone he was not. We have to grant him that…"
Jack closed his eyes and sighed tiredly, realizing he was speaking like Ianto was still there. Now he really had to question his own sanity. "I mean… when he was at work he could pretend- Let's stop talking about it. Please. I-I can't keep doing this anymore."
Gwen nodded and let Rhys hug her shoulders tenderly as they reached the dark SUV that was waiting for them. A sad smile ghosted on Jack's lips as he traced the name Torchwood written over it in carved letters, before he finally moved on and opened the door to take the driver's seat.
"I-I didn't notice… The SUV looks identical too." Gwen muttered now extremely worried. 'Everything identical' 'From where Ianto wanted it' 'The way he wanted it'. In his memory. What had began as a doubt in her police detective mind now was an alarming certainty, even though she had no real proof yet. She hastened to open the passenger door to meet Jack face to face.
"Jack I need to know! Tell me you're planning to start anew and not just to build a mausoleum for Ianto! You said so yourself. He wanted you to keep going on with your life!"
"A mausoleum for me? Actually, Gwen's right. I don't need it."
The voice froze Gwen and Jack on the spot. They kept staring horrified at one another, not actually having the willpower to turn to check the source of the voice. Did it really belong to the one person they were missing the most? What were the chances that it really was their Ianto? An alien wearing his skin like a suit, a shape shifter, a ghost… or the kindest of all: the guilt and the grief had finally taken over their minds and they had gone crazy.
Some sort of communication passed between the two best friends and they both swallowed as Gwen began counting. "Three…two…"
"And one" Finished Jack turning slowly, not yet daring to hope that the Welshman he missed so much was there.
Except there he was. Smiling his knowing smile while he stared at them, arms crossed over the car bonnet and with ruffled sun-kissed hair.
"You look like you've seen a ghost." The newcomer teased with mirth. "You missed me?"
Gwen and Jack both exited the car, not daring to take their eyes away from the man as they took in his figure. The newcomer looked exactly like their Ianto: from the wavy hair to the striped suit and red shirt he loved to wear. The only thing that actually seemed a little bit off was his apparent age. Ianto had died at 26…even though they considered the four years that had passed from Thames House, now he would have been 30, whilst the man in front of them looked at least five years older.
Rhys stopped Gwen and held her securely in his arms, the fear for her safety somehow winning over his own shock. She didn't complain: everything needed to be left to Jack.
"Who are you?"
Ianto's smile wavered a bit, settling for one of sad acknowledgement. "You are ready to build a mausoleum for me, but you can't recognize my face?"
"He's dead." Jack managed to whisper, his voice disappearing amongst the anger to be played at and the joy to see his lover again. "I saw him dying. I saw him in the House of Dead, he-you can't be alive."
Ianto just kept looking at him, waiting evenly like he always did when someone had to process his words. It was so familiar that Jack tentatively found himself reaching out to touch his cheek, even though he knew he did not trust himself enough to achieve the intent.
"There's no way you can be him." Jack's voice was nothing more than a strangled cry, but even though his whole soul screamed for it, he couldn't close the few inches between his hand and Ianto's cheek.
Jack's shields were already down. The chance of having Ianto back was a treat too sweet to make him stay rational about the whole situation. Gwen knew that in the end he would give in, but even though her own hopes were high as well, she felt the need to warn her friend anyhow. Maybe saying that aloud would made her believe that it was wise doubting the newcomer a little bit more.
"Jack… don't…" Other than that she couldn't manage much. She wanted the man to be their Ianto so much that this was hurting her too. She found herself needing to believe that man was Ianto. To finally repair Jack's soul, but also to give her a chance to change how things had been between the two of them. To actually talk, let their truths out… that was the only thing that could have actually helped them have a new beginning.
She had to consider that if this was an actual enemy though, it had played well, choosing the right moment, the right place and the right people. If this was a trick of a foe it well deserved its victory.
In the end it was Ianto who made his move. He sighed, giving Jack one of those adoring smile he reserved only for him and took the lingering hand in his own, kissing its palm and bringing it to caress his cheek to prove he was real.
"How does it feel, Jack?"
Jack had to swallow and search for some strength inside himself to not jump on the newcomer. He had forgotten what touching Ianto meant to him: electricity, need, lust, love. Reason never existed between them, it was always passion enhanced at its maximum level, a rush of hormones and perfect, warm understanding. The way they communicated with their bodies gave them the same amount of awareness that hours discussing feelings could give to others.
What was there, lingering between them at the beginning, had only grown when they had become lovers. Jack had realized years before that such a strong connection was one of the reasons why he couldn't bear to let Ianto touch him at the very beginning… if it turned out to be unrequited love it would have been impossible for him to keep the boy around.
Those feelings… only Ianto could generate them inside of him. A need to be close so carnal, so visceral that it was impossible to ignore. Those feelings that had kept him searching again for his employee even after their first time together, those feelings that had bounded him to protect the Earth with passion and a smile over his lips and not just to bide his time, those feelings that for a brief moment in time had made him believe he could have been a hero too.
And there they were.
The same sparkle, the same warm force inside of him telling him Ianto was the one he wanted to be near to. His own body's way to tell him he was touching the same person he shared many experiences with maybe.
"How do you do that?" Jack whispered to him, pretending to still doubt Ianto even when his body and soul had already given in and he was unconsciously stroking the cheek under his hand.
"What you are feeling is not your memory playing tricks on you." Ianto complained, trying to go for a cold and offended tone at being doubted. That was supposed to at least shake Jack out of his memories, but not even the mildly annoyed voice was quite achieving it. Instead the Welshmen was rewarded with the ghost of a smile.
"You get angry just like him, too… Gods, I'd never thought I would have missed him angry."
Conversely, that was enough to make the other two spectators react. Rhys had never seen Ianto angry, whilst Gwen had to make a face at Jack's remark, mostly because the only times she had actually seen Ianto angry were during Lisa's turmoil and when John Hart had buried Jack back in time: none of those were experiences she cherished.
In both of those occasions Ianto had been dangerous for her too, even though he was her teammate. It was enough to make her find enough strength to reach for her gun with her shaking hand and point it towards the newcomer. Rhys followed suit.
"Leave him alone… Leave us alone!" Gwen cried, trying to stop her hands from trembling. Whether it was the real Ianto or a false Ianto, this whole ordeal was too much to bear right after the grieving at the graveyard. And Ianto was scary when angry. She hadn't missed that particular mean and desperate side of him.
"I'm sorry if my lies hurt you, Gwen." Ianto told her, letting Jack's hand go. "But you and I will have the chance to explain ourselves in three months. Until then you just have to trust me the way you would trust your teammate… Former teammate actually at the moment."
Those words gained the attention of everyone, and also Jack managed to somewhat snap out of his memories.
"You're right to believe I'm not your Ianto" He tried to explain. "Because I… Well actually I am and am not your Ianto at the same time…"
Realizing he was just confusing his friends and lover along with himself, Ianto rolled his eyes at his poor choice of words and took a long breath while searching for the proper way to explain things.
"Let's go back to the hub, first. You check me up, and then I'll explain. What about that?"
"You won't go anywhere, mate." Rhys argued, still holding a trembling Gwen close to him. "That hub doesn't need wreckin' right now."
"Try us first." Jack offered plainly, out of the initial confusion enough to understand that Rhys was right, but at the same time realizing that all they needed to be certain this Ianto was their real teammate was at the hub. "Then we'll bring you to the hub and check you up."
Surprisingly, Ianto answered by teasing him with a flirty grin.
"Still no quality kit in the back of the SUV?"
It was too familiar to let it go, and Jack simply laughed feeling the tension disappear as work of magic and leaving the married couple wondering what kind of joke could have been to manage to have them getting a glimpse of the old Jack back.
"If you are really Ianto, I swear to you I'll finally put those damn pterodactyl nets in the back of the SUV."
Now it was time for Ianto to laugh, breaking the cool and flirty mask in favour of a more casual and more familiar stance.
"You're planning to move to London then? Torchwood Cardiff's too small for you?"
"Never."
Jack searched for Ianto's eyes, sadness quickly coming back and rebuilding a wall between the two of them. It was so thick that in a short while they couldn't bear to look at each other anymore.
Ianto fidgeted nervously, realizing this was the moment to spill the beans and hope the others believed him. Again the same old song: bloody beans. At least this time he didn't have to wait for them to be ready.
"In three months, you will receive… well, a gift from an old friend… I cannot say more, I'm sorry. You three…Well, four actually. You four will have lots of things to talk about. You will have your chance to rebuild either friendship or love with me… with him. I've already done it in my past, and I swear it will be hard, but… explanations are the only way we can build a new Torchwood. The strongest Torchwood ever maybe."
A tentative smile tugged at his lips, and he was pleased to see a similar one on Jack and Gwen faces too.
"They need us. The earth will always need us for small and big things. We have got to be ready… and my Torchwood is ready right now, that's why I'm here."
"So… You came here from the future." Jack summarized, not absolutely certain about how to deal with the information. The future self of someone he knew to be dead. Things couldn't get messier.
Ianto nodded. "I know I'm a ghost of the past from your future, but do you think you can cope with me to save the world one more time?"
Something in Ianto's manners eventually did it, and Gwen lowered her gun securing it in the waistband of her jeans, whilst Jack simply reached for Ianto's cheek, stroking it adoringly.
"I don't deserve you coming back for me. You should be sleeping and resting your soul, not be here in this sad world and put yourself in danger again."
Ianto shook his head and stared in his eyes, trying to resist the urge to yield to his heart's desire and kiss him, swallowing the lump in his throat to keep his voice from wavering.
"I've still got three months to sleep, that's more than enough. Give me three more months, Jack, and I'll come back for you."
"Didn't you miss me at all!?" Jack snapped, his voice strangled by the grief, finally giving in to the need to throw his arms around his lover, effectively crushing the cold façade both of them were pretending to have. Ianto drowned in Jack's warm embrace, desperately holding him tight and resting his cheek against Jack's, inhaling deeply his scent.
"Three months…" Ianto whispered softly, trying to convince himself more than anyone else. "I'll be gone soon and I can't do this to you. I can't take you away from myself."
"We… we need to get you… to the hub." Gwen managed to say in between the shivers that were shaking her body now that the initial stress relieved. She couldn't say what definitely gave him away, but in front of their need for one another, the realization that the man could have only been Ianto won over the rational part of her mind that was still trying to anchor her to reality.
Ianto and Jack parted, even though the older man seemed still rather lost and incapable to deal with the loss of warmth that he was finally feeling again after all those years. Ianto on the other hand simply smiled back at Gwen. One of his rare smile that made her understand that they where sincerely one team, no matter the secrets and the lies between them. She finally jumped out of Rhys's arms and threw herself at her friend, holding him tight and burying her hands in his hair.
"Oh, my god, sweetheart! It's really you… Please, tell me it's true, love."
Ianto laughed mirthlessly at Gwen's behaviour and held her tight. "You will be soon out of endearing terms if this keeps going."
Gwen let him go to look at him sternly in the eyes and smiled at him, not managing to muster the angry façade she had meant to present him with. "You, Ianto Jones, are the worst ever. I'll never run out of endearing terms for you and you will see it, darling."
Now Ianto's laugh was more genuine and she joined him, while leading his forehead to rest over hers. "We missed you, you dumb sod."
"We have things to talk about." Ianto said, still smiling at Gwen.
She nodded, her smile never fading. "Three months, is it right?"
Gwen waited for her friend to nod before going on. "You'd better keep your promise, because I'll be waiting for you."
Rhys watched the three teammates one by one, but he knew he couldn't voice his opinion. He had adored the boy and his coffee, but he had hardly known him well enough to recognize him without actual technical proofs. Heck, he hadn't even realized the boys had wanted the place for themselves when they were hiding back in London in Torchwood one facilities!
"Don't mind me. Don't worry. C'mon guys! Time for the real check up, test or whatever, now!" Said Rhys trying to be helpful instead of feeling overly excluded. "Before this ends in tears… I'll drive. We're ok, Jack?"
Jack looked at Rhys, still quite lost, and nodded, feeling in no shape to make decisions of his own at the moment. Ianto smiled sadly at his lover and placed one hand on his shoulder.
"Jack?"
"Maybe you've 'd better sit next to the driver, love?" Gwen smiled at Ianto, taking his free hand in hers. "You leave him with me for a while."
However Ianto would have none of it right now, and he simply kept his eyes on Jack.
"No, I'll stay with him." His rich voice coarse and broken. "Thank you for looking after him, Gwen, but he's once again my responsibility as long as I'm here."
Rhys gave a last glance to the three of them and then took the driver's seat, waiting for Gwen to sit at his side and for the other two to arrange themselves behind. Before long Jack nestled himself in Ianto's arms and fell asleep, his head resting on his shoulder.
As soon as Jack's breath evened, Ianto tiredly took a deep breath.
"Jack told me it would have been difficult, but this whole thing is heart-breaking." He said almost to himself after a while, caressing fondly his lover's hair.
"Couldn't he come 'ere too?" Gwen asked him, figuring he was talking about Jack's future self and not about the one currently asleep at his side.
Ianto shook his head. "Time paradox. I could cross my own timeline only because… Well I'm still dead, you know. Besides you know me, so you would have trusted me better than a stranger… Everything considered, it seemed the best solution back then."
Gwen looked at him with her big eyes full of all the emotions she couldn't express in words. "It is."
Ianto gave her a sad smile before focusing back to his lover.
"I should go away now, so you can tell him it was just a dream. It would be nicer than give him back what he wanted only to steal it from him again."
"But you'll be back." Gwen retorted, her voice weak and rough, yet a little more positive than before.
Ianto stared back at her considering her words, and then looked back at Jack's face. It looked visibly older and pained, but also like it was finally relaxed in what was probably one of his few restful sleeps in years.
He tightened his grip on Jack and kissed his forehead lightly to not wake him up.
"Bloody three months."
"He was already losing it, you know?" Gwen tried to cheer him up. "It was good for him to see you now."
Before Ianto could form any reply, the car stopped and Rhys told them they were finally at Cardiff Bay. Gwen was quick getting out of the car and running to open the door on Ianto's side, guessing the man would need help with their captain.
Unluckily, Ianto's attempt to pick him up bridal style awoke Jack, so the Welshmen simply waited for his lover to regain enough consciousness to remember what was happening before shocking him again with his presence.
"Gwen?" Jack called still half asleep and making both Ianto and Rhys shudder with a silent stab of jealousy.
Gwen reached for his shoulder, wondering if Jack was actually awake enough to understand where he was. "What is it, Jack?"
"I dreamt him…" Jack answered, his voice trembling with pain. "I still can smell him… I'm going crazy again."
Both Ianto and Gwen smiled sweetly at him.
"Don't worry… You always took care of us. Now's time for us to do the same for you." She said punching him lightly on the shoulder. "So believe me: that wasn't a dream, Jack. He's here."
Gwen nodded in Ianto's direction beside Jack.
"Ianto?" Jack asked, realizing only then that he was actually leaning on his currently dead lover.
"As soon we finish with the tests I might make you some nice coffee, what about that? I trust you that when you say that the hub is identical to how it was before, you were also including my perfect coffee machine."
Jack laughed off the tension and nodded, trying not to feel too much embarrassed by his deplorable state in public. Gwen and Ianto helped him out of the car, ready to catch him in case he fell over. Grief, stress and shock weren't usually recommendable together and surely their leader had had enough for the day.
"I'm fine guys, really." Jack told them, faking the most carefree expression he could muster. "And I count on that coffee later… Ianto."
"Yes, sir." Ianto answered playfully, gaining warm smiles from both his teammates.
"Good, back to our hub."
The four of them walked towards the tourist office. The former Torchwood team proceeded in front in one straight line, while Rhys followed them still eying Ianto suspiciously. Upon entering the hub though, Ianto stopped to stare at the flyers inside the tourist office. He quirked an eyebrow at one of them, and then went checking every single piece of paper, paling visibly as he read them over.
"What's up?" Gwen asked, unsure about the reason of his strange behaviour. "Signs of enemies approachin' already?"
"Too soon for that… We made sure of it." Answered Ianto as an afterthought, still staring the last of the flayers he was checking. "These flayers… are outdated."
Gwen laughed and closed the space between the two of them. "You're from the future! Of course they are outdated for you."
"That's not it!" Ianto countered extremely worried. "None of these dates are from after my…death. I'd go as far as to say they were the same we had at the tourist centre when it exploded."
Gwen's face dried of all her emotions as she read over his shoulder and realized Ianto was right. All this added up proofs to her previous considerations.
"A mausoleum… for you." She muttered.
"What have I done!" Ianto tried to stop the tears from falling shaking his head, and pressed nervously a hand to cover his mouth. "That's all my fault."
"It's not your fault, love." Told him Gwen, trying to encircle his shoulders with her arm and pulling him towards her for comfort. "He tried to get over it –not forget you, sweetheart, only… to keep going the way he used to. But you know how things are when you are Torchwood. You think you've managed to take a breath, and in the end you realize that what you inhaled was dust, not air. And about everyone else…"
Gwen felt Ianto shudder in her arms, so she tried to relax him caressing his arm sweetly before continuing. "They simply weren't you. No one was ever enough to overthrow you, not even–"
"I know Gwen." He interrupted, his voice firm but warm, even though slightly rasp. "Save it three months more, will you?"
"Are we ever going to be ok?" Gwen voice was a strangled cry, fearing Ianto's answer.
"I-I can't answer." Ianto explained in the same cold voice, but smiling at her nevertheless. "But everything is possible if your heart is in it."
"In three months," He continued plainly trying to regain control of his voice. "Lots of things are going to change, and lots of them will hurt…"
"But we're Torchwood." His words finally managed to bring the smile back to Gwen's lips. "We've survived worse."
"Yeah, we have."
Ianto offered courteously his arm to Gwen and she took it, both ready to finally re-enter their hub.
T.B.C.
A/N2: The American parenthesis mentioned could be Miracle Day, something entirely different or something in between, but you will never find a single line confirming or denying that. It's up to the reader have his/her own interpretation of the four missing years, especially considering that few people liked the series and I'm not among them. I left things blurred on purpose since I wanted for this fanfiction to stick to the canon as much as possible despite my dislike for MD.
