Smoothing down the front of his very best dinner jacket and white shirt, James swaggered over to the vivacious redhead that was Lily Evans, the object of his affections and every carnal desire. He had decided to ask her out on a date and had garbed himself in suitable formal attire for the occasion. He was sure that Lily would be impressed to see him wearing a suit and tie, and succumb to the depths of her lusty feelings for him, which he knew her to possess. He had a feeling about it. James Potter's feelings were usually right, apart from all the times they weren't.

"Hey, Evans," he said, with a winning smile. "Will you accompany me to Hogsmeade this weekend for a hearty stroll, a drink in the Three Broomsticks, and perhaps later some snogging and light petting around the crotch, at the back of Zonko's?"

"No," said Lily.

"It doesn't have to be Zonko's," said James. "We could go a bit more upmarket, if you fancy. Madam Puddifoot's, maybe?"

"No," Lily repeated.

"It doesn't have to be around the crotch, either," James carried on smoothly. He was a smooth kinda guy. "Maybe somewhere more upmarket, by your boobs."

"No," said Lily again. "You are an arrogant jackass, and you'll never change."

"Slanderous lies!" James shouted shoutingly. "You have made me raise my voice! I am aghast! I cannot forgive myself for this!"

He ran away dramatically.

Later that day, Lily sat by the fire, brooding broodingly. She regretted her harsh refusal of James Potter's hand in dateship. And in knickership. James Potter was the love of her life, but she refused to openly acknowledge this for reasons best kept secret, mostly because there wasn't any real reason.

At that moment, every head turned in the direction of the portrait hole. James Potter had entered the hole. Lily wished that he would also enter her hole. But secretly.

There were many gasps and whispers, and a couple of girls even fainted. James Potter walked over to where Lily was sitting. He swaggered less than he had swaggered that morning. He was no longer dressed in a suit, but in a t-shirt and jeans.

"You see?" he said, motioning to his new outfit. "Don't you see?"

Lily gaped. Her heart began to beat a mile a minute. She felt as if she was going to faint, because that was not a safe speed for a heart to be beating at. She might get a speeding ticket. Or die of cardiac arrest.

"I have changed," said James seriously. His eyes were serious, and his face wore a serious expression. "I have changed for you."

"Oh, James," Lily sighed, and rose to her feet. She threw herself into his arms and made sure to bump crotches with him. "That's all I've ever wanted."

And thus, Lily and James got together.