S-t-ray: Dream State
Dream state - Prologue
Every day I follow the same pattern, wake up, go to school… just to go back home again. Acting though in front of my friends, playing someone I'm not. What once hid beneath my skin is long gone, only an empty shell following its daily routines as though it was programmed into its DNA. Who am I? Why do I suffer? Every day I ask myself these questions, only to find the same answer… silence. Once tears was supposed to fall from my eyes, now empty sockets mirroring a clouded mind, as though it was in an dream state… never to wake up again. In hidden parts of my mind, locked in an cage without a key, memories of a time where I was loved… slowly fading away like the wings of a butterfly slowly dying in the shade, finally freeing itself from the heavy chains of life.
The only thing granting me power was the will to grant other happiness, for these feelings I had locked inside myself… those were not for others to carry. As the madness slowly crept into my mind I found a source of light, and for the first time in years… I was happy. Most of my "friends" looked at me as if I were alien, one of the "biggest and toughest" guys in school watching My Little Pony. But I didn't care. These feelings filled my heart, close to the brink of destruction, giving it a reason to continue beating. I found other people as myself, bronies, not caring about my past. The genuine happiness that filled my heart was the feeling I've been longing for so long. Once again I started to enjoy school, studying and spending time with my newfound friends. I was no longer alone. That night, for the first time in such a long time, I had a dream consisting of more than a simple gray mist.
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A white light surrounded my eyes, blinding me with its sudden flash. I tried to focus my eyes and slowly I regained my sight. Somehow I was lying on the grass under a great apple tree, but something felt wrong. It felt as though my entire body had been violated, turned inside out just to return to its original state. The world around me moved with such a smoothness it almost felt… animated. I raised my hoof to… wait a minute… HOOF! Shocked I looked at what were once hands, now turned into gray hooves. Sweating and confused I tried to stand up, only to find it impossible to stand on my legs. I looked around searching for some kind of mirror when I saw a little pond. With a steady pace I crawled forward, only to see my reflection resembling… I had turned into a pony. My short brown mane, my big silvery eyes...
"What in tarnation are you doin' on mah applegrounds"
A soft, boyish voice I'd heard so many times before. I tried to stand up and turned around to find Applejack standing right in front of me. Still in shock I looked at her like a kid watching the great blue sky for the first time.
"Are yah alright in there?"
She softly knocked on my head, the feeling of the hoof proved that I couldn't be dreaming.
"Where, how…what?" I sounded like a stammering idiot!
But instead of the weird look I was expecting she simply smiled at me, a smile filled with warm motherly love.
"You look like you've had a rough time. Are you new here to Ponyville? For Ah'm quite sure I've never seen a pony with a cutie mark that looks like… cogwheels?"
I looked on my flank, noticing the cogwheels. I must have stared at it for ages… I'm a pony. I'm probably in Equestria… what, the, fuck! I tried to collect my thoughts, figuring this must just be a very realistic dream.
"Well… It's quite a long story but we could say that. Is this the Sweet Apple Acres?"
This conversation felt unnatural, heck, this whole thing is unnatural! I just went to sleep and awoke in Equestria! And what's more, as a pony!
"The one an' only! The best apples in all o' Equestria!" Applejack let out a girlish giggle and once more shared her lovely smile, making me blush. If this is a dream I really don't want to wake up right now!
"Name's Applejack! This 'ere is mah family's greatest pride!" she reached out her hoof and gently we shook… hooves. There was just a tiny problem… my name. What was I supposed to say? Hell, I had to come up with something!
"Ehm… Call me… (Think dammit! Cogwheels… oh!) Mec!"… seriously? Is that the best I could come up with? I've been playing way too much games.
"Mec? So yah is good with machines an' the like?" Oh yeah… really good with machines! I'm as good with machines as I'm good with creating fireballs out of thin air! Well since this seems to be a dream and all, maybe I could do something.
"Well… I suppose so. Maybe?" Applejack looked at me with questioning eyes. Suddenly I felt a strong pain in my heart, as though an iron fist squeezed it in its grip. I fell to the ground chipping for air.
"Are yah okay!" Applejack tried to help me up and I tried to give her a smile, which obviously gave the opposite reaction that I was looking for.
"Yah take it easy there and Ah'll get Macintosh and get yah to hospital! Don't yah dare to go dying on me!"
The world blackened slowly around me and I could see her running, screaming commands to a big red stallion and a little filly… is a dream supposed to hurt this much?
I woke up in a white room and in bed. My head hurt slightly and I felt limp, but the feeling in my heart was gone. As I looked around in the room I noticed a medical pony walking towards me.
"Are you feeling better now? We had to administer some drugs but you should be alive and kicking in a few days… but I wouldn't recommend you doing anything rash soon."
Confused I looked at the doctor, I wasn't sick… was I? I've never had any specific illness in my family and I've been healthy most of my life except for a flue every now and then. I could see that he noticed my confusion. Gently he smiled.
"You're going to be absolutely fine, but you will have to take some pills every now and then when you feel your body aching up, and don't do any stuff that would push your body to the limit, else your life should be absolutely normal!" Wait a minute! How long had I been out of it? Were you supposed to faint in a dream? This whole thing started to feel absolutely surreal as I felt the nausea getting to me. I had to throw up. I tried to tell the doctor but the only thing that came from my mouth was muffled trembling sounds as I pointed towards my mouth. The doctor immediately understood and fetched me a bag. This couldn't get worse.
"There might be some cramps tonight so I'll let somepony watch over you tonight, but there should be no trouble, except for fever and occasional vomiting." Okay… so it was going to get way worse.
I felt that I had a long night ahead of me, and a whole lot of thinking to do. As I went to bed I felt all the memories of my human days run through me… was I going to remain here forever? Was this really all a dream? I felt my stomach knotting and with teary eyes I finally fell asleep, falling into painful nightmares.
