Tales of a gutsy Uchiha


"If you had one shot, one opportunity, to make things right...would you take it? Or let it slip past?" -Marshall Mathers


When you think about it, it's awfully pathetic how I came to be in this situation. Both in terms of the path I walked approaching the de facto event that put me here, and how that event was carried out. I was floating, not entirely sure if I was really conscious or not, just barely aware of my own existence, in a seemingly barren abyss. So this is what limbo is, eh? If the "good book" has any semblance of truth to it, my untimely demise will earn me a solid seat in Hell. Any minute now, probably. Was time even passing? I guess without something as abstract as a day and night cycle, it was impossible to tell.

Oh, you're probably wondering what I was rambling about just now. Well, in case you hadn't figured it out, I killed myself. A coward's approach, perhaps, but I was fairly certain I'd end up starving on the street soon anyways, so I didn't really see much point in suffering. I was a jobless, friendless NEET hated by his entire family. The only things separating me from the basement dwelling neckbeard meme were my inability to grow any facial hair (and no, I don't just mean it looked bad, I mean I literally did not grow any form of facial hair for some reason), and the lack of a basement in my house. I suppose my hygiene and cleaning habits also weren't very becoming of the stereotype, either. I prided myself on that, one of the few comforts I found in life. I had potential once, but I wasted it. So, I ended up in a position where finding gainful employment was all but a fantasy to me, and I was on the verge of being kicked out of my mother's house. I doubt she'll even hold a funeral.

Well, that's rather depressing, isn't it? Not the best way to start off a story, perhaps. But it's integral, you see, to understanding my..."growth" throughout my new life. I was reincarnated. Bible apparently wasn't so accurate after all, and it wasn't exactly the most pleasant experience. Going from maybe-conscious-but-not-sure inside an empty void to suddenly feeling cramped inside a warm, fleshy pool of sticky liquid was a bit jarring. As time passed, I only had less room, and somehow managed to spend quite a bit of it unconscious. Strangely, I didn't dream much, maybe a few times here and there. I thought I saw glimpses of a person that looked like me sitting in some sort of fancy living room type area, but whenever I tried to focus on what I was seeing, the "dream" would immediately shatter. Then, the last time I had that dream, right before I was "born", the figure turned to me, smiled, and spoke a few simple yet haunting words.

"It seems this is going to be quite the journey."

And then I was sucked out of what I later realized to be my mother's uterus, and blinded by a freezing light.


I was brought into the world, or I guess I should say back into it, as most babies are. Screaming, kicking, and confused by what's going on. I didn't intend to scream, but rather cough to clear the fluid in my lungs, but instead a scream is what everyone around me was treated with. It did seem that my body had some level of auto-pilot to it, as I wasn't really able to get it to do anything that I wanted. If I tried to move my arms, hands, or legs, they would either refuse or only twitch a little. The light of the room made me feel like I was having my eyes held up to a blowtorch. It hurt. And the air was noticeably colder than the inside of my mother's womb. Suddenly, a fuzzy, if not somewhat rough, material enveloped me. A blanket or towel, probably. I was rubbed all over, before being handed to a different person. Trying to focus my eyes at least a little bit, I noticed the person was female. My mother, no doubt. She was beautiful. Long, black hair, eyes that I assumed were just a really dark brown, and milky white skin. She smiled at me, poking at my left cheek gently.

"Watashi no musuko, sekai e yƍkoso."

I stared at her, trying to process the voice I'd heard. Was that her speaking? What had she just said? Now that I thought about it, the people in the room were all speaking similarly. I'd heard the language before, I thought, but couldn't quite pin it. Then it clicked. They were speaking Japanese. I'd been into anime before I offed myself, bordering on weeaboo territory, and had dabbled in Japanese lessons here and there. I was conversational, I could ask for directions, make small talk about the weather and how work, school, etc were going for the person I was talking to. But, that was about the best I could do. I knew random other words here and there from them being frequently used in the shows I watched, but I was far from fluent. So as my mother made what I assumed were doting remarks towards me, I was left completely clueless as to what she might really be saying.

The more I looked at her face, the more I got the feeling I had seen her somewhere before. My field of view was pretty limited, and my vision was a little blurry, so I couldn't make out too much detail at once. It still nagged at me, though. Eventually, I was passed off to a large male figure, and I guessed he was my father, from the smile on his face. He also looked very familiar, to the point where if you gave me a list of names and told me his was in it, I could probably find it easily. At the moment, however, my memory failed me. He had shoulder length brown hair, leather like tan skin, and a very defined jawline. He looked like the kind of guy you'd be extremely spooked by if you ran into him in a dark back alley, and that wasn't helped by what I could only describe as a permanent scowl etched into his face. Though he was smiling at me, his brow was still furrowed, and there was a tenseness to his face in general. Think of an angry Russian who suddenly tried to smile, it's honestly the best description I can think of.

What seemed like hours passed, and I was eventually taken to the infant ward and placed in a crib. Being unable to do much else, I decided to allow myself to drift off to sleep. I was woken up a few times by nurses checking on me, but I slept for a very long time. Eventually, I was taken back to my parents, who looked ready to leave the hospital. As we walked through the front doors, I dozed off once more, snuggling into my mother's arms.

The first few weeks of my life weren't terribly eventful. I was confused as to why I still had all of my memories from my past life, but didn't really pay that much attention to it. I was more focused on the fact that, for the next few years, I'd get to chill as a baby/toddler and be pampered by loving parents before starting preschool, or whatever the first level of Japanese education was. I surmised I had to have been in Japan, because pretty much everyone spoke Japanese around me. Japan wasn't a bad place to end up in my opinion, and I didn't feel too strongly about it in either direction, being disappointed or happy. If it turned out this place sucked, I could always move back to the US, or to some other place, like Britain or Canada. The things I did find strange, though, were my older brother Itachi, and this strangely warm buzzing feeling I felt in my torso. I swore I'd heard the name Itachi somewhere before, and that the kid looked somewhat familiar. For some reason, I just couldn't remember though, no matter how much I racked my brain. It was starting to get rather irritating. The weird feeling in my gut wasn't as concerning, but I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something weird about this place, and that I subconsciously knew what it was, but couldn't consciously put my finger on it.

My parents lived in some sort of walled off community, and judging from the look of our house, it must've been an area for super rich people. It had a nice feel to it, the people were all really nice, and from what I could tell, it wasn't an area where much crime happened, if any did at all, because there never seemed to be anyone that looked like a cop walking around. I got most of my observations from the time I spent being carried around by my mother or older brother when they went shopping, and the rest of the time I was (mostly) free to roam our house. All in all, it was pretty boring. I couldn't read anything, because it was all in Japanese, TV was in Japanese, and I wasn't physically capable of getting up and playing with toys yet. The upside to this, however, is I had a lot of time to get used to controlling my body. I don't know for sure, but there must be an adjustment period where your soul is still fitting itself to your body after reincarnation, because I could barely get this meat sack to do anything I wanted it to for about two weeks. And when it finally started listening to most of my mental commands, the movements felt pretty stiff.

So it went for a few months. My vision and hearing got better, I got better control over my body, and I started playing with things like my brother's old building blocks. I also started to remember little bits and pieces of what I assumed were an anime I once saw, and for some reason, the people in it looked similar to my parents and Itachi...I shrugged it off, there was no way that I'd been reincarnated into an anime world, right? That was just the sort of thing that happened in fanfictions, it couldn't actually take place. Oh, how wrong I was.

The first definitive sign came when I was about 6 months old. My mother had taken Itachi and I out shopping, and she ran into someone I assumed was her friend. I had been able to get Itachi to teach me some things about Japanese, through my primitive sign language of gestures and pointing at language books he had in his room, and I just barely made out that someone both the woman and my mother knew was back in town from some kind of trip. My mother decided to take me and Itachi to meet him, and when we exited the gate to our community, I happened to steal a glance at a mountain rising above the buildings around us. How I hadn't noticed it until now, I didn't know, but now that I did, it shook me to my very core. Staring back at me were three Mount Rushmore like faces, each depicting one of the three Hokage of Konohagakure. The Village Hidden in the Leaves, from the anime Naruto.

'What the fuck have I been dragged into?!'