It was the third time Peter complained and Ray decided to help his friend. And there was the fact that he couldn't stand another minute of his friend's belly-aching.
"This ought to give him a little... nudge." he thought.
"Peter, may I borrow your aftershave? I ran out of it."
"Sure."
It was a towel-clad Egon, fresh out of the shower. He'd already finished shaving when he realized there was no lotion.
He poured some of the nice-smelling liquid(it was strong!) in one of his palms, rubbed his hands together and lightly patted his face. He felt a slight shock throughout his body and a feeling of general pleasantness.
"Egon! Will you take long in there?" it was a half-awake Peter.
"No!"
Egon left the bathroom and changed into one of his many grey three-piece suits. There were still some reports to be completed and he needed the material.
"Ray!" he began, talking to his friend who was enjoying a donut while reading a science magazine on the couch "Where did you put those ectoplasmic samples from last night?"
"Aren't they in the lab?"
"No..."
"Ohh... I think I left them in the basement! I'll go get them!"
"No, don't bother. Finish your breakfast."
Egon went down the stairs and stumbled into their capable secretary.
She was the most beautiful woman Egon had ever set his eyes on.
He had to get closer to her, he had to hold her, he had to touch her.
"Good morning, Janine...", he started, getting close to her desk.
"Good morning, Egon!" It was strange. Egon was usually polite and greeted her in the morning, but not with that strange glint in his eye...
"You look so... fetching today..." he slurred, already past her desk.
"Wha...?"
"So beautiful..."
Janine had little time to think. The next thing she knew, Egon's chapped lips were on hers, kissing her softly.
He held her by the waist, going down to her neck, planting soft kisses on it. Janine moaned but suddenly sensed there was something wrong with him.
"Ray!" she yelled. "Peter!"
"What are you calling them for?..."
"What is it, Melnitz?" said Peter coming down the stairs "Whoa... about time, Spengs!" he continued, as he witnessed the scene.
"Egon, no!"
Ray approached his apparently lovesick friend and his stunned secretary and tried to pry him away from her.
"Come with me..." he said, pulling his friend away from her, "Come on..."
"But Ray..."
"I promise you'll be back, now come..."
"I'll be right back, Janine..." Egon said, his tone of voice strangely nice.
Ray took his colleague upstairs and persuaded him to wash his face and Peter followed suit. Egon came out of the bathroom with his left eyebrow up.
"Did I just... attack Janine?"
"Yeah, you did, my friend! It was one of the most bizarre things I have ever witnessed!" it was Peter, his voice oozing mockery. "But I applaud you. About time you did something about our secretary's silly little crush on you!"
"Peter, it was never my intention to... jump on Janine like that!"
"Then why..."
"Peter, will you check on her please? I believe she's still in shock." Ray said, sort of urgently.
"Don't you think Egon should do it? Huh? Huh?" Peter said, teasing.
"Please." Ray was serious.
"Fine. The poor thing must be catatonic!"
Peter went downstairs, amused at his own comments. Meanwhile, Ray looked at his friend, concerned.
"Egon..."
"Do you know what the fuck happened to me?"
"Yes..."
"Then pray tell!"
"Well... remember that Peter said - complained about... Dana?"
"Peter's always complaining about everything and everyone, Ray."
"Yes, but it was about how she... how she..."
"How she...?"
"How she won't have sex with him yet, damn it!"
"Oh!"
Egon had an IQ of 160, but when it came to matters of real life, so to speak, the man was as dumb as a blonde.
"Well... I... sort of wanted to help him..."
"How?!"
"I... well... I..."
"RAY! You didn't mess around with Pinky, did you?"
Ray gave his friend the guiltiest look ever.
"RAY! What the hell did you do?"
"I put... a little bit of Pinky into Peter's aftershave."
"Ah... that's why I was acting so weird!"
"I just wanted to help him! Give him a little... push!"
"I borrowed Peter's aftershave this morning!"
"I know! I put two and two together as soon as I saw you glued to Janine!"
"You have to tell him the truth!"
"I will! As soon as he thanks me!" Ray said, proud.
**********
